Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Da Dude123]

The dumb cow is back on the alcohol is aged, so why wouldn't a Gen Z woman date an old, fat, autistic, ragman? The earth is aged too! Makes no sense! Reeeee!

 

[Kromir]

What is the argument here? "I may be old as dirt but that's a good thing because the earth is old, have sex with me right now. bigot "

I swear this is one of the weirder takes I have seen from him. Does he think people have sex with the dirt?

 

[Da Dude123]

The cow loves the "N Word". His favorite word to say! But he is totes woke. He marched with black lives matter! Plenty good! Let him say it!

 

[WonderWino]

The cow loves the "N Word". His favorite word to say! But he is totes woke. He marched with black lives matter! Plenty good! Let him say it!

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Its amazing some black guy hasn't beaten the shit out of him for saying that by now. Its exactly the kind of idiocy that would have gotten him killed if he'd been stuck in LA

What is the argument here? "I may be old as dirt but that's a good thing because the earth is old, have sex with me right now. bigot "

I swear this is one of the weirder takes I have seen from him. Does he think people have sex with the dirt?

Lucas doesn't think far enough ahead to realize there isn't an actual argument based on what he's saying. Humans have sex with humans, the don't fuck rocks, dirt or bottles of alcohol. Though lucas is exactly the kind of creep who would invite himself to a zoomer party by hanging on to one of his hobo zoomer 'friends' and following them to one, only to help himself to as much alcohol as he can get, puke his guts out all over their bathroom, pass out in his own vomit and wake up with a vodka bottle shoved up his ass for acting creepy toward the zoomer baes while he was there. He also hasn't come to understand (despite being told multiple times at this point) that most alcohol isn't aged. Its just fermented. Aging is only a thing with certain types of alcohol and requires more steps. To say nothing of the fact his target audience has little interest in those particular types of alcohol for the most part

I wonder what abomination of a christmas dinner lucas will inevitable post in the next day or two to brag about. Knowing lucas, probably something along the lines of kraft dinner with cranberry sauce and stove top stuffing mixed in, or a piece of chicken and vegetables boiled in canned gravy, canned cranberry sauce and pepper

Speaking of which, its interesting that lucas hasn't been bragging about a christmas gift from king roy. I wonder if I ended up being right about that air fryer being intended as a christmas gift as well. Which he also hasn't said a word about or shown off anything cooked in it yet. No doubt if the lord of the elk kingdom didn't give him anything he'll spend all day big mad and frustrated. No money for clinkerdaggers, no gift, just stuck with his roommate in his fartbox without even a turkey dinner to look forward to, while everywhere he looks online he sees pictures of family christmas celebrations and zoomer baes posting about what a great time they are having with their boyfriends. He's likely as bitter and angry as scrooge right about now. How long before he pops off at someone saying if the flatbills are going to die of covid they had best do it and decrease the surplus population so there are more zoomer baes for him

 

[HaloHero65]

getting caught up after a long time away from my fav lolcow. by God I was hoping to come back to a post about how the pedo had frozen like a germen soldier in WW2 on the eastern front.
instead, he's still alive still somehow being a menace to mankind. it's a never-ending story I'll be here for.

 

[A Silly Possum]

Spoiler: Small dump of some holidays sperging. He thought he was SO goddamn clever when he either came up with Merry Chrismyth or (more likely) stole it from some athiest twitter account he follows.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Hard to imagine what lunatic would actually match with Lucas on Tinder. I'm guessing it would either be on accident, or some kind of fake account trying to lure customers/subscribers to sell content to. OF, premium snap, insta etc. Not that Lucas would ever catch on to it. You'd think someone that's been catfished as many times as he has would get better at spotting blatant fakes. He will seriously be falling for the same old trick over and over again until the day he dies.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Hard to imagine what lunatic would actually match with Lucas on Tinder. I'm guessing it would either be on accident, or some kind of fake account trying to lure customers/subscribers to sell content to. OF, premium snap, insta etc. Not that Lucas would ever catch on to it. You'd think someone that's been catfished as many times as he has would get better at spotting blatant fakes. He will seriously be falling for the same old trick over and over again until the day he dies.

I think the reason he doesn't notice the catfishers is he only cares about himself, look at his xmas posts where he bitches about not having a girl to fuck, I've never seen him say he wants a girl to build a life with,. or anything besides fuck. If he was capable of listening he would be better at spotting fakes but I don't think he's capable of listening or comprehending messages

 

[Da Dude123]

Spoiler: Small dump of some holidays sperging. He thought he was SO goddamn clever when he either came up with Merry Chrismyth or (more likely) stole it from some athiest twitter account he follows.

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Plenty good! Lucas is moooing and using the term "puss puss". He wants a zoomer bae. The dumb cow. The matches have to be bots. Tinder is full of bots. Lucas's cow brain can't comprehend that. Lots of the really attractive women end up being bots. But Lucas thinks they are all real.

The fat faggot totally would fall for another scam like what happened when he was lured to LA. He learned absolutely nothing from that.

 

[WonderWino]

Spoiler: Small dump of some holidays sperging. He thought he was SO goddamn clever when he either came up with Merry Chrismyth or (more likely) stole it from some athiest twitter account he follows.

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Heart react this post if you're a woman and want to fuck me

I assume lucas never thought through that statement to consider a mtf troon might give such a reaction or a gay guy just to fuck with him. I wonder what lucas would have done if a bunch of guys had heart reacted that post

That said, lucas is clearly back into rutting season, like the majestic elk he so covets. Which is yet another major sign that he is off his meds. Puss puss hungry lucas is always at his shortest sighted and inclined to do the stupidest shit to get himself in trouble

and of course, lucas doesn't understand how dating sites work or their matching systems and no doubt thinks they're real women who are deliberately trying to fuck with him by matching with him and then refusing to respond, and/or women who would have otherwise responded but somehow found out about his history and noped out. It of course never occurs to him that fake accounts exist, scammers, women who initially might have been interested until reading his profile or that his message scared the shit out of them. No doubt he'll build up anger at these women on tinder for awhile until he loses his shit for lack of responses and sends some poor woman an insane, threatening rant about women not wanting to have sex with him cause of his history, screaming that no matter what shes heard about him online hes totally not a pedo and isn't an incel either and he promptly gets reported for yet another ban by the creeped out woman - who probably goes on to warn every female friend she has in the spokane area to avoid him like the plague

Plenty good! Lucas is moooing and using the term "puss puss". He wants a zoomer bae. The dumb cow. The matches have to be bots. Tinder is full of bots. Lucas's cow brain can't comprehend that. Lots of the really attractive women end up being bots. But Lucas thinks they are all real.

The fat faggot totally would fall for another scam like what happened when he was lured to LA. He learned absolutely nothing from that.

Yeah he'd definitely fall for another LA saga style catfish incident. He learned nothing from it other than he thinks he can expect someone to bail him out if it goes badly. He likes to think he's smart enough to not fall for it again and he was wary for awhile but lucas thinks with his microdick not whatever he has that passes for a brain. The catfisher would probably have to be a little more subtle about it and probably have to entice him with money, food, pics or something along those lines to convince him it totally isn't a trick this time, but I suspect someone who is willing to spend the money and put the effort into it would be able to send him off to another state again. Probably not another country as lucas has no passport and would be more wary of getting sent somewhere he doesn't speak the language but within the US? Probably not LA again but most other US states he'd go for if enticed enough. I wonder how he'd fare in mormon utah. I'm sure his militant atheism screeching would go over real well in salt lake city. Lucas finding out about the poly shit in utah would either have him screeching about it even more or having a fake jesus moment trying to fake his way into signing up for a few instant zoomer baes. The most entertaining option though, and probably the one most likely to actually work would be arizona, because its close to his mother so lucas might want to take the opportunity to try to weasel his way back into the queens palace or at least think he had an out if he was getting catfished. To be fair he'd probably be right as the moment his family realized he was a short bus ride to his mothers house they'd go full defcon wern to get him out of there and back to rotting in spokane asap. Especially if they know about that convo he had with 'mias dad' during his last adventure

 

[Bassomatic]

I for one am so tickled Lucas doesn't know what terms mean and tries to sound with it ... Wernslop is probably also the nick name for his Batman pantilooms, seriously to be them in a past life they musta been John Wayne Gacy.
I don't even know if Lucas is firing on enough cylinders anymore to know those food pics are his mating call. It's like his ego and food sexualization mixed up. Kinda like a narc jerking off staring at a mirror.
You know when he can't get pantry snacks (read entire roast chickens, bag of hot dog rolls etc) he probably just stares into his Obama phone looking at old pics of clinkerniggers and the kids gap catalog.

 

[Da Dude123]

No, Lucas, you shut the fuck-up, faggot! You lolcow!

 

[WonderWino]

No, Lucas, you shut the fuck-up, faggot! You lolcow!

Lucas must be in another manic state. First he starts another spastic rant about religion and then he jumps into the comments and frantically responds to literally every single one of them repeating the same utter nonsense

Perhaps christmas is fucking with his head yet again. It would explain alot about his sudden jesus ranting and manic responses. Something tells me king roy didn't bestow a gift upon our exiled prince this year

 

[not in the cards]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/O0p9ukiuP6o

Typical of this stupid cow to make a video where he jumps from one incoherent point to another. What would it take for him to realise that nobody thinks he's an intellectual?

 

[Bassomatic]

Im not going to lie, proof God is real is the image of Lucas alone in his fart box sulking on Xmas. Myrna is too busy bumping into walls and calling to order pizza 32 times in a row and King Roy is getting his dick sucked ashing a Cuban on his girls hair bun to even text the freak of Spokane.

I love he goes from begging for a month after bday right to Xmas. I legit know someone who's bday is Dec 24th and they are over bday by Xmas lol. What a child.

Actually I'm pretty interested in his claims with wanting an FWB. I don't know if it's his new trick to lure zoomie baes or if he's dropping the mask, mommy 2 Fleshlight boogaloo is all he's wanted he doesn't care about love because he can't grasp it.

FWB is incredibly difficult for most and going back to start of recorded history we hear drama, comedy, bullshit and danger of it. Humans are emotional and sex is. I won't bore everyone with too much on it but, it's doable for some people for some time it's not like being a piano player where you work hard you can do it. It's just how we're wired and than it also means finding a partner same.

Lucas of all people could not do FWB. In reality he wants sex (with a child) but he wants to be seen as a demi god and spoiled as well as waited on. While the tax payer foots the bill for a lot he wants more.

For all his insanity he's a really gross pervert. But much like the ogre he's an onion each layer getting more rotten to the vile core.

2024 will not be your year and you will not
score Lucas.

 

[VoidFace]

No, Lucas, you shut the fuck-up, faggot! You lolcow!

I know this isn't even the point of the video, but I've literally never met a single religious person who isn't thrilled to share why they believe. Not a single time has one ever told me to "shut the fuck up," they loooove to share.

I love when the Wern's videos or claims fall flat on their face right at the offset.

 

[A Silly Possum]

So this is what? His 4th board game in 2 months? Each one getting more and more blatant about exactly how he wishes his life was. Horrifying.




Editing to add that I almost forgot to post his gelatin burrito. Leave it to Lucas to get a burrito from an actual store and it STILL comes out looking like he made it in a blender with lime jell-o, cabbage, and ass heat.

 

[A Silly Possum]

Fuck, one more. I keep finding screenshots lmao.

Imagine what a beautiful life it would be to be a woman and go out to Chili's with a guy like Lucas... Listening to him wheeze and clear phlegm from his throat incessantly for the whole hour. Watch him struggle to breath as he asks the waiter for his 4th refill of soda. Admiring the slobber coming down his haunches as he bites into his tasty burger after he forgot to order me anything, Have him condescendingly explain something he doesn't fully understand to me that he learned from a Neil Degrasse Tyson podcast 3 hours earlier... damn. Any girl would be so lucky to be his princess.

 

[WonderWino]

So this is what? His 4th board game in 2 months? Each one getting more and more blatant about exactly how he wishes his life was. Horrifying.


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Editing to add that I almost forgot to post his gelatin burrito. Leave it to Lucas to get a burrito from an actual store and it STILL comes out looking like he made it in a blender with lime jell-o, cabbage, and ass heat.
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Fucking hell I called it. He played magic the gathering and started getting the idea of crackpot card games in his head

and why does the one picture look like an AI version of a cross between colonel sanders and eugene levy as a pervy old man

The idea is to have the most stacked intergenerational orgy for science when the club of 90 cards is empty

What the fuck. Even for lucas this is creepy as fuck and unhinged. Intergenerational orgy for science? Yeah thats definitely projecting his own perversions on this game. He no doubt wants to play this game with a teen girl as well. Imagine asking some woman to play a game with you and when she agrees pulling this out. As soon as she realizes what the game is about you'd be lucky if you didn't get pepper sprayed and kicked in the balls

Also, funny how he's always whining about the imaginary orgies he thinks flatbills and teen girls are engaging in all around him (which are totally bad because lucas isn't invited to them) and how he he claims said orgies are greedy, yet designs a game entirely around engaging in the very thing he claims is greedy. No self awareness at all. He's advertising how manipulative he is without even realizing it. Also funny how the 'enemy' is 'disapproving karens' when lucas literally engages in the behavior he bases his enemy off of, so by his own statements he is a karen. The idiocy and lack of self awareness in this is fucking mind boggling

and that burrito is disgusting. Of course he would eat a slimy tripe and salsa burrito and act like its gourmet. I wonder where he got the money for that shitty looking burger. He still hasn't said a word about a gift from his royal majesty yet

 

[AnOminous]

Editing to add that I almost forgot to post his gelatin burrito. Leave it to Lucas to get a burrito from an actual store and it STILL comes out looking like he made it in a blender with lime jell-o, cabbage, and ass heat.

I've seen KingCobraJFS bogritos I'd rather eat than whatever the fuck that slug slime burrito is.