Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

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What would the outcome of the harassment restraining order be?

  • A WIN for the Toe against Patrick Melton.

    Votes: 62 16.2%
  • A WIN for the Toe against Nicholas Rekieta.

    Votes: 4 1.0%
  • A MAJOR WIN for the Toe, it's upheld against both of them.

    Votes: 95 24.8%
  • Huge L, felted, cooked etc, it gets thrown out.

    Votes: 67 17.5%
  • A win for the lawyers (and Kiwi Farms) because it gets postponed again.

    Votes: 155 40.5%

  • Total voters
    383
Dear Jolly Old Saint Nick,

That's what it's really all about, isn't it? These voices of other people trying to paint you in a box, trying to trap you, like you have to be some kind of Saint and everybody else just gets to be a Real Human Being.

They try to tell you what to do like you have to be perfect. Well, they're not perfect! Shame on them for trying to dim your shine. Shame on them for trying to command and control you.

Remember when Kayla kind of rolled her eyes at you, even though you'd made a really insightful point about sex and balls and torsion and aging? That was unacceptable. How dare she disrespect you like that?

Every drink that you take, you do for you. These other people want to try and make you do something for them. Fuck them. Have another drink.

Sincerely,
your True and Honest Fans
 
Dear Rackets,

If your wife is yelling at you it's because you drink too much and stay up until 5 in the morning. Stop drinking and she'll stop yelling at you. Hope you have a lovely Christmas and I hope you make all the money in the world.

Love you buddy,

Mr. M
Nick is in the "Stress, drink" phase of this Thai commercial:

 
I've been trying to catch up on this thread for the last three days so sorry for the very late responses
He's just missing "these are just your delusions again"
nickytomlinson.jpg
The one I'd keep an eye out for the most is unexplained injuries. I once woke up after drinking in my room with a considerable chunk of my arm just missing, no clue why.
I think the only "injury" Nick has to worry about is something akin to what happened in Me, Myself and Irene.
rackets.jpg
Nick's speech is also really slurred now. Nick says he couldn't cheat, because that would be a lot of work
He couldn't cheat cos his dick don't work!
Same guy who has been bitching for days about “disloyal” streamers who won’t come on his stream anymore.
Disloyal shyster lawtubers!
I was gonna plead with people to stop pushing for Nick as Lolcow Of The Year after the shift my boy Fat Pat Tomlinson has put in for 2023, but I realised this is now the first thread I check every time I come on the Farms.

Whine on, Balldo man.
Pat is about to get cucked again!

I planned to do an ai cover of this but couldn't make a voice model for Nick, if someone manages to make one I'll come back to it but I might as well post it for now.
nick.png
[Intro: Ralph]
My atole's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The horse done bolted out my rental
Here in Mexico
And even if she wins, it'll all be gay
But Nicks picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Verse 1: Nick]
Dear Null, I text you, but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my X and my discord at the bottom
I sent two balldos back in autumn, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem with Serbian post or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses cos I'm shakin when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man? How's your forum?
My channel's going great, think I'm bout to be a star,
If I get sports car, guess what I'mma call her?
I'mma name her Lawpope
I heard Melinda Scott and that dope Greer are suing you
I just called Montagraph a weirdo and now I'm getting sued too
I know you probably hear this every day, but my thread is getting weird,
Lots of posts lying and implying that my wife's a beard,
And I don't wanna tell you what to do with your site either
But kiwis are talking shit about Drexel, it ain't true neither
Anyways, I love you, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, don't be a faggot, this is Rackets

[Chorus: Ralph]
My atole's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The horse done bolted out my rental
Here in Mexico
And even if she wins, it'll all be gay
But Nicks picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Verse 2: Nick]
Dear Null, you still ain't called or text, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you won't give out bans
If you didn't want to talk to me in the shower, you didn't have to
But you coulda listened about Drexel, he's got soft eyes too
That's my nigga, man, I've known him since we were ten years old
He waited til she was 18 years old, to hit up those fetish clubs
and you even didn't ban no one
that's pretty shitty, man, Dick told me this might occur
I'm not mad, though, I just thought that you should know
Remember when I went to Jamaica? They said it was cuck week, and I went to get blacked
See, I'm just like you in a way: People lie all the time about me too
they attack me and my friends, Dick and Vito, just like with you
So I can relate to what's going on in your life
Cos now they've even gone so far as targetting my wife
But our marriage just gets stronger when we feel under attack
I even got a tattoo with "I'll be us" across my back
Every day I read my thread to see how much I sneed
It's like adrenaline, ego pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is true, and I cope and seethe because you say it
My family's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you, Null, no one does
They don't know what it was like for streamers like us comin' up
You gotta call me, man, it'll be the biggest mistake you ever make
Sincerely yours, Nick—P.S. You should try the balldo too

[Chorus: Ralph]
My atole's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The horse done bolted out my rental
Here in Mexico
And even if she wins, it'll all be gay
But Nicks picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Verse 3: Nick]
Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Autistic-to-Pick-Up-On-Cues
This'll be the last time I ever give you views
It's been six months, and still no bans—I don't deserve them?
I know you got my last two texts, the notification says you read em'
So this is my voicemail I'm sendin' you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the stang right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
Hey, Null, I was up all night drinking whiskey, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin'
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is: I coulda rescued YOU from drownin'
Now it's too late, you're getting wrecked by Greer and I'm laughin'
And all I wanted was a lousy warning or a ban
I hope you know those farmers have never been your fans
I loved you, Null, I coulda fundraised for you—think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you get sued and you sneed about it
And when you sneed I hope your site dies and you seethe about it
I hope shyster lawyers fleece you and you can't ebeg without me!
See, Null—shut up, kid! I'm talkin' smack
Hey, Null, that's those damn kids screamin' in the back
You see I got a family, a wife and a house unlike you
Hiding out in Serbia and afraid of your own posters too
I still love you, Null, we can bury the hatchet, no more fights
Oh, shit, what's that? I think I see some blue lights!

[Chorus: Ralph]
My atole's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The horse done bolted out my rental
Here in Mexico
And even if she wins, it'll all be gay
But Nicks picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Verse 4: Null]
Hey Nick, I meant to text you sooner, but I've just been busy
You said your threads harrassing now, what line-crossing did you see?
Look, I'm really flattered you would fundraise for me, it's not necessary
And I checked out that Drexel groomer shit, that dude's fucking creepy,
I'm sorry Montys suing you, it's fucked up, I've been there too
but you did call him a pedo, you should apologise, he might forgive you
But what's this you said about balldoing your wife too?
That shits a furry sex toy, Nick, come on, how fucked up are you?
You got some issues, Nick, I think you need some counselin'
Cut back on the drinking and pull up before you crash down some
And what's this shit about you and Vito getting together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your family need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat them better
I hope you get to read this message, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt your channel, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad you're doing so great, but Nick
Why are you so malding? At your age it's natural to start balding
I just don't want you to do some creepy shit
I seen this cuckold shit online a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and crying all about his life
And had his best friend at his house, and he was railing this dudes wife
And in the corner was a cow, getting pegged and screaming juju
Come to think about it, his name was—it was you
Damn…
 
I really don't understand why he follows young, attractive women on a public Instagram account when he must know the people in this thread will find out (and hence his wife will be able to find out).

The two black bulls men I could excuse, because I honestly think it's more likely that they were a source of drugs for Nick than sexual partners. (I know there was a legal source of drugs attached to the Hedonism resort, but lack of taxes, lack of potential limits on sales, and ease of obtaining drugs at varied times are very strong incentives to buy from drug dealers rather than legal sources.) That was easily explainable as setting up a communication avenue to get drugs when he's in town, in my mind.

But following thots is totally unexplainable to me. If he's gonna do this, why does he not act like a normal person and make another account disconnected from his public persona? The man has a law degree, passed the bar exam, and is Internet-savvy; there's no excuse for following e-thots in a way he knows will become publicized. Even if he doesn't care if we find out, he must care if his wife finds out.
He's the kind of fag who used to brag about how he can talk his way out of getting speeding tickets so he probably assumes he can pull the wool over the eyes of anyone who has obvious questions about these things. He'd probably smoke crack right in front of you and then try to convince you it was totally something a doctor prescribed him for his restless balldo syndrome.
 
Honestly, and I know this is gay as fuck but, if any of you guys are struggling with alcohol or know someone who is, please feel free to reach out and ask me anything. I will keep anything private and give as much info as I can. Open offer, no shenanigans.
 
I really don't understand why he follows young, attractive women on a public Instagram account when he must know the people in this thread will find out (and hence his wife will be able to find out).

The two black bulls men I could excuse, because I honestly think it's more likely that they were a source of drugs for Nick than sexual partners. (I know there was a legal source of drugs attached to the Hedonism resort, but lack of taxes, lack of potential limits on sales, and ease of obtaining drugs at varied times are very strong incentives to buy from drug dealers rather than legal sources.) That was easily explainable as setting up a communication avenue to get drugs when he's in town, in my mind.

But following thots is totally unexplainable to me. If he's gonna do this, why does he not act like a normal person and make another account disconnected from his public persona? The man has a law degree, passed the bar exam, and is Internet-savvy; there's no excuse for following e-thots in a way he knows will become publicized. Even if he doesn't care if we find out, he must care if his wife finds out.
One possible explanation is that he's doing it knowing that people here will see it and it'll be proof that he's totally, definitely not a homosexual for real you guys! Not that it'll dissuade me from correctly assuming he has a massive lust for cock rivaling even Queen of Poz
 
One possible explanation is that he's doing it knowing that people here will see it and it'll be proof that he's totally, definitely not a homosexual for real you guys! Not that it'll dissuade me from correctly assuming he has a massive lust for cock rivaling even Queen of Poz
If he wants to let people know he's straight while still pandering to his weeb audience, just put anime figures of big tiddy waifus on his shelf lol
 
But that was the past. In a lot of ways it seems like Kayla has given up on Nick (and herself to a degree). It's just a question of what that looks like long term. In any case, it's clear that Kayla is more concerned about her own reputation than the integrity of her marriage which is a sign of separation in itself.

I know I rag on Kayla, amplifying the various jokes about her love of BBC, etc. but I've also had this sense for a while. She seemed to recognize pretty early on that the Locals stuff was getting out of hand, and withdrew her engagement. I've long had the feeling that she's the primary reason why Rekieta has never come straight out and said it, "Yes, we're swingers. We go to Hedonism for the big black cock. What of it?"

I think where I find myself torn is that I suspect she's encouraged it all to some extent. Whether because she's genuinely into the whole swinging/coomer culture, or because she's just doing it because she believes it's what she needs to do to keep her man, I couldn't really say. But I'm pretty sure that she's attempted to get him to pull back. Perhaps because of the embarrassment she'd feel when her kids came across this stuff, or because there's been some conflict with her parents over Nick's making a public spectacle of the family.

I'm sure her feelings about his behaviour are the source of her anxiety and depression. Probably not a new thing -- it probably goes back years. Up until the YouTube thing took off, he never really made any money -- never showed any signs of doing so. So she must have wished for him to find something -- that thing that made a successful man out of him, And for a while, it must have looked as though YouTube would deliver, but at this point can it be delivering anything other than more stress?

We've seen Crowder abusing his wife. How different would Rekieta be off camera? Watching him haranguing Eric July and Sean the way that he did, it's inconceivable that he wouldn't be verbally browbeating Kayla like that for long periods of time while he worked off whatever bug he had up his arse at that particular moment. In my experience, people tend to be much less civil to the people who love them than they do to friends and acquaintances. The people who love you will generally put up with being verbally abused from time to time. People who aren't family will reach the point at which they've had enough and will just walk away. That's true for spouses too, but they'll generally try harder and hang in longer for the sake of the marriage, the children, the family, the disruption, etc. etc. etc.

Eventually though, they'll reach the point when enough is enough.
 
he Chad Robot
even if he can't fix it. i'm really supposed to believe none of the other 6 people in the house cant stand that fucking noise? if we can catch it on the mic all the way down in the vault then the noise must be fucking terrible. Surprised none of the kids just broke it open or threw it out of the house.
. I will totally simp for The Weg
My favorite part of Wegmans is that the founder's son was a Ethan Ralph/Nick Rekieta type, drug addicted degenerate trust fund guy, one fun story is the night he sold his lambo for cocaine back in the 80s. He's still a useless piece of shit, thats why the company went from his father to his daughter. Danny Wegman probably has a Balldo too. also the reason produce costs so much is because it has to pay for his divorces.
 
I know I rag on Kayla, amplifying the various jokes about her love of BBC, etc. but I've also had this sense for a while. She seemed to recognize pretty early on that the Locals stuff was getting out of hand, and withdrew her engagement. I've long had the feeling that she's the primary reason why Rekieta has never come straight out and said it, "Yes, we're swingers. We go to Hedonism for the big black cock. What of it?"

I think where I find myself torn is that I suspect she's encouraged it all to some extent.
I'm sure she has plenty of justifiable grievances with the balldo bitch, because anyone stuck with him would, and if she deems these significant enough to divorce him more power to her, but like you said she's definitely no angel either even if she hasn't been quite as public as him. I think unilaterally painting her as the victim of all of this would be infantilizing her and mistakenly assuming she has no agency in her life whatsoever. Reasonably speaking, she's an adult who's most likely living a life that's ostensibly the product of her own decisions/actions rather than some sort of mindless slave helplessly tied to the balldo anchor.
 
It's almost to the point where I think we need an entire Balldoverse subforum to better categorize this shit. There are so many Rekieta-adjacent people that I don't know the lore of and it would be a convenient place for other threads like Lawtubers, Juju, and Drexel. He has reached Ethan Ralph levels of orbit that one thread can no longer contain. Especially when this one thread is probably one of the fastest moving on the site at the moment. (Also I think it would be funny for Juju to have a thread under someone else because it would hurt his pride to be perceived as a subcategory to someone less famous than he is)
 
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Tathagata: Even if he doesn't care if we find out, he must care if his wife finds out.

Unless the wife sanctioned the activity. Could be some polycule shit where he can date other girls but never does because he has L rizz and a too tight balldo cutting circulation from his genitals.
 
I feel sorry for some lolcowe. I don’t care about the narcissists, pedos and animal fuckers they can all burn.

Nick though, he’s really shit himself the past year. I would say Nick has turned into Icarus. Rather than fly too close to the sun he thought he could open his relationship up especially to middle aged moms while his wife is probably do the extra martials on holiday together. Now I think Nick has that buyers remorse the same same feel Icarus did when his wings began to burn. He escaped out of his mental prison and wanted more.

I hope for the same of himself he pulls himself together. He has children and watching parent(s) act like a cunt then they might grow up thinking that’s normal behaviour.

So I feel sorry for Nick, he’s not happy with what he has so he wants more at the cost of his sanity. He had a good screw and he’s blowing it.
 
Saw the hot Wegman's sushi talk and wanted to add some context.
Grocery stores have a 2% profit margin, on average, with most being barely above 1%. This means that employee wages have a significant impact on pricing. The reason why Wegmans and Publix and Whole Foods charge more is because they pay a higher salary than Kroger and Food Lion, who pay barely above minimum wage.

Sushi prices in the USA are laughably outrageous. It's stupidly simple to make sushi. If you love eating sushi, watch a video or two and learn to make your own. The rice vinegar, sugar and salt (sushi vinegar) can be easily made in the microwave or even bought pre-mixed. Rice is simple as fuck if you steam it, especially so if you have a rice cooker. I know most chefs say to start with maki (classic roll with rice inside), but I think uramkai (rice on the outside, the goods on the inside) is easier and more forgivable. Maki rolls suffer greatly from not knowing your limits for filling. Your first few rolls will likely look like shit, fall apart, be over or under stuffed, etc. Keep at it, though, and you'll be making perfect sushi rolls in no time. As you get better, you might even be able to make decorative rolls (the classic "embedded heart" roll with red or pink dyed rice is a big pleaser for Valentine's day) and it's a good skill that can be easily learned, but carries a lot of wonderment and prestige with many in the West. I always tell people that making sushi is like riding a bike: it can sound complicated and difficult, and to an extent it is when initially learning, but you will adapt quickly and it becomes very intuitive with very few repetitions.

Pro Tip: You don't need a sushi mat. Take a rag and put it into a plastic freezer bag, pushing out all the air before sealing it. Congrats, you have made a sushi mat. Most sushi mats suck anyways, and they need to be/should be wrapped in saran wrap or a plastic bag anyways.
 
The Dec 1 MATI is the most concise version of events yet between Balldo vs Kiwi Daiymo. For all his ranting Nick doesn't see randomly texting someone "THATS NAAWT TRUUUU!" yet refusing to elaborate IS unhinged behavior. What response does he expect? The average person would give the same as Josh, the "Ok? And?". One thing to be a one time trauma dump. Doing this for months on end, fairly obvious you want something.

We get to see through his lies as one instance we have him on I,Hypocrite saying "I want you to know the things about me aren't true." Then on the stream with Sean states he never mentioned himself. Ok, you have stated your case. I refuse your reality and subject the one my eyes and ears are telling me.

No normal person does this. You might have a brief convo saying that if it is bothering you enough. Taking things to DMs seems more sketchy when Nick has no problem trashing people live on his show over any perception of being slighted.

This type of behavior is slimey. It's the "You know who you are!". If people take offense to this are then met with "I didn't name names you Disloyal Practicing Shyster Lawyer!" Not clever, we all see through it. Please keep thinking you are the smartest person in the room.

It has always come off as a weird flex when Nick pulls the "You're on my show!" card. There were several occasions when it looked like he was about to pull that on Sean. My response is always....And? Are they not supposed to make their point here? Are they supposed to draw out the feud for content to grift super berries from chat? It's like he tries to make a point with impotent rage.

I do like charming laughter at the end as Josh won't talk to Nick again until he goes sober. Never seen an alcoholic so in love with the bottle they not only lick it passionately but also stick it up their ass.

This is good milk. Imagine what 2024 will bring.
 
where I think we need an entire Balldoverse subforum to better categorize this shit
Let's fix the fucking OP first. we go through a dozen pages every week just bringing people up to speed on shit. "hey, haven't paid attention to Nick since 2019 whats a balldo/why are people accusing him of being a swinger/whos Drexel?"
 
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