Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

What's the QRD on WolfePit?
I know he claims to be disabled and does cheap recipes but not much more

Larry Wolfe is no lolcow. He's akin to Jack in a lot of ways, with the benefit of being ACTUALLY Southern, but he's no seething pig-ignorant manlet with a hair-trigger temper and an enormous inferiority complex. He's just a drawling doof who reviews trash on YouTube. Doesn't really show himself in the videos but looks like Ron Perlman's little brother, without the acromegaly.

 

[curbside2]

Larry Wolfe is no lolcow. He's akin to Jack in a lot of ways, with the benefit of being ACTUALLY Southern, but he's no seething pig-ignorant manlet with a hair-trigger temper and an enormous inferiority complex. He's just a drawling doof who reviews trash on YouTube.

His shit can be pretty entertaining actually. Though I wouldn't eat 95 percent of what he cooks.

 

[GenociderSyo]

He also has a progressive and ultimately terminal illness known as spinal muscular atrophy the reason his wife does a lot of the work with cutting and such is hes slowly losing the use of his muscles and dexterity.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Larry Wolfe is no lolcow. He's akin to Jack in a lot of ways, with the benefit of being ACTUALLY Southern, but he's no seething pig-ignorant manlet with a hair-trigger temper and an enormous inferiority complex. He's just a drawling doof who reviews trash on YouTube. Doesn't really show himself in the videos but looks like Ron Perlman's little brother, without the acromegaly.

View attachment 5542380

I pictured him as a fat, bearded man

I know he's a MAGAtard who spazes out about people wanting national healthcare but then he and his wife beg for money because they can't afford their healthcare bills. Basically it's similar to Jack only he actually knows how to cook and doesn't seem as religious

 

[desudesu]

Yeah,now that you guys mention it, WolfePit is only entertaining in the aspect that he cooks terrible stuff. However, he isn't outright nasty like Jack.

Maybe Qali? But like the pissbaby his dad is, he gave up on his gaming channel - Nerdy Athletes - because he did not get 9 gorillion views overnight.

 

[Marisa]

it's actually going to be a bit sad when jack finally moves on to the big burger king in the sky, i'll miss this thread

 

[p1138]

I pictured him as a fat, bearded man

I know he's a MAGAtard who spazes out about people wanting national healthcare but then he and his wife beg for money because they can't afford their healthcare bills. Basically it's similar to Jack only he actually knows how to cook and doesn't seem as religious

So basically he's Fatty, except not as fat and doesn't have a fraction of the ego problem Fatty does, thus not really making him much of a lolcow. Kay's Cooking can't cook for shit, but she's not a nasty cunt, and isn't much of a lolcow as a result either.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

No one cares about "Larry Wolfe"

Let's keep on making fun of Jack.

I'm double posting to make fun of Jack.

 

[biggacracka]

Jack is fat and no matter how crazy his tongue action must be, I would NOT have sex with him

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

You know, while there is something to be said about avoiding heavily processed foods, this whole idea of a carnivore/raw/caveman diet is bullshit. Firstly, our teeth are obviously not the teeth of obligate carnivores. Secondly, cavemen were the ones who started cooking things as much as possible back when starting/keeping fires was a bit of an ordeal versus the supreme luxury of electric flame. They would carefully pack embers for travel and transportation, to provide them with a cookfire later on. The story of how we received the fires of the gods is a whole thing in the Greek mythology. Eat more natural foods, eat a healthy mix of meats, fruits, vegetables and starches. Lay off the heavily processed stuff. Drink more water, get more sleep. Go for a walk.

 

[Tiresome]

No one cares about "Larry Wolfe"

Let's keep on making fun of Jack.

Like it or not, he's directly germane to the thread because Jack put out a pathetic call to collab with him on the F is for Fat podcast.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

The LifeVac is literally a toilet plunger* attached to a mask. How oddly fitting.


*specifically a Plumb Craft mini plunger, if the Farmandfleet site decides to shit itself. They're decent enough, for plumbing purposes anyway.

I swear they got this idea from a cartoon.

Imagine if people now begin getting rich and helping society by taking ideas from cartoons as inspriatoon

 

[Piggle Rick]

Slight PL: I had a relative who got themselves into a bad health situation similar to Jack’s, but obviously not as bad. They spent 6 months eating a very strict diet, which was two meals a day. The first meal was a pure bran cereal (I’m told it tasted like shredded cardboard) with light milk and no sugar, the second meal was grilled fish or grilled chicken, served with loads of steamed greens (including celery, spinach, cabbage, broccoli and I think green bell peppers), no butter or anything. The outcome was amazing, visibly and medically so. The only negative was that my relative said they were hungry even when they were full of food - which I assume was their own wendigo howling for fat and simple carbs. Big cravings for buttered toast. However they had self-control and stuck to it.

Anyway, Jack’s plan is stupid, surely he’d be much better off doing the above.

 

[Fortnite Bear]

Jack Scalfani I: the Phantom Stroke
(god I'm fucking stupid)

I still wonder about that TIA in 1999 in Vegas. Did it actually happen or is fatass simply losing track of time and confusing his stroke in 2011 (which also happened in Vegas) with it? I personally think he confused the year because he is stupid but with a guy like this anything is possible. Still incredible to me that Jack didn't mention the 2008 stroke into his stroke history because he is too feeble-minded to associate that event with a full blown TIA. Any person with normal intelligence in Jack's shoes would look back and be filled with shame for ignoring two (or three) HUGE warning signs in '99, '08 and '11.

I'm took his word that he had a stroke in 1999 right then and there because he posted it on his blog. However, you bring up some good points. I did some digging to see what I could find, and I think I have a some things.

(the video should be timestamped from 11:35 to 13:00, skip to there if its not properly TS'd)

-Jack says he had his first stroke after working at a county fair for 7 days a week.
-He got his next stroke in 2011 after making "healthier food choices" (lol)

But the story adds up, and I can see why you think he confused the dates. He did get what he called a mild stroke, which is essentially what a TIA is. It makes more sense with how he describes it in the explanation video. He would have mentioned the stroke in 1999 many times over if he actually had it.

However, using "mushbrain stupid" logic, the stroke in 2008 and 2011 would also be mixed up because he writes about having no feeling in his right side when he woke up early in the morning. All of these strokes happen under very similar circumstances and have very similar symptoms. This is with the exception of the most recent stroke, where he was awake (implying he was asleep for the 2018 stroke).

It gets even stranger and more confusing. The blog post that cites the '99 stroke only mentions three official strokes: 1999, 2018, and 2023. We know from his 2009 blog post that there's one more stroke. This thread's OP cites this as a stroke. While Jack let it slip that this stroke happened in the clip I cited above, that blog post was our only evidence of the 2008 stroke taking place (type 'stroke' into lolcowgo.net, you won't find shit). In that blog post, he does not use the word 'stroke' once. Is he hiding it? did he not know he had a stroke?

My thought (and this is only conjecture) is that he doesn't say "Oh, I got a TIA in Las Vegas while driving," in the explanation video. He says that he got a mild stroke. I believe his doctors changed the wording so the diagnosis made sense to Jack. Therefore, causing him to differentiate the two diagnoses in his mind.

I also think that him typing '99 instead of '08 isn't a typo, at least it's not fat-fingering the keyboard like I pointed out in my other post. Typing '99 had to be done fairly explicitly. The fact that he pointed out that he had a TIA in '99 at all is strange in general, and I think he did it in the heat of the moment, as the blog post is very emotional. As I stated earlier, it's not unheard for us to only have a single blog post as evidence of a thing in his life happening. It's also not unheard of for Jack to hide a stroke, or for him to not comprehend what it is.

So here's my case for the '99 stroke being real:

1. Jack did not know that his strokes were strokes in 2008 and 1999, he is only realizing they are strokes due to reflecting on his current (vegetable) status.
   • Despite this, he only says he has three strokes: 1999, 2018, and 2023.
   • He missed his first 'official' stroke in 2011 and the 2008 stroke (the not-a-stroke stroke).
2. It is not unprecedented for us to use blog posts as citations, despite having no evidence outside of said posts.
   • We have only two pieces of evidence for the 2008 stroke being real.
3. Jack typing '99 instead of '08 must be by his own will.
   • This is empirical. While the 0 and 8 keys surround the 9 key, the chance of accidentally missing twice in a row (I believe) is low. I have faith that he is not completely retarded.
   • The 9 key is far away from the 1 key, meaning that Jack intentionally moved his hand toward the 9 key. This means that he explicitly did not mention anything at all about the 2011 stroke.

With all that said, I say he's on #5 going on #6 post-carnivore diet. I would not be surprised if he had 10 fucking strokes at this point based on this bullshit I wrote. Let me know what you think, @EatBeforeYouEat

 

[p1138]

I'm took his word that he had a stroke in 1999 right then and there because he posted it on his blog. However, you bring up some good points. I did some digging to see what I could find, and I think I have a some things.

Unfortunately the trouble going off of anything Fatty says or has typed, is that he's been a mushbrained retard for a long time at this point. He has no understanding of health, nutrition or anything of the sort. Doesn't like the healthcare system as a whole(takes effort, takes money, god isn't fixing it, etc.), blames his kidney stones(which had to be surgically removed) on hard water... which we know damned well he doesn't drink anyway, it just keeps going on and on.

I would not be surprised if he had 10 fucking strokes at this point based on this bullshit I wrote. Let me know what you think

I'm not EatBeforeYouEat, and I don't think he's had 10 strokes. What I do think he's had is a bunch of serious medical problems over the years that he's managed to survive based on nothing but pure luck, or having so many preservatives in his body nothing can do anything. He's had apparently both of his achilles tendons replaced(certainly didn't blow them out due to being a sedentary lardass... obviously). Had half his thyroid removed. Timestamped for more amazing lack of self awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv0icE4eatg&t=175s "I honestly feel that everything that happens in my body is why what I put in it" yet he's constantly filling himself with garbage. Let's keep going? Type 2 diabetes. High blood pressure.

Here's the retard claiming his heart doctor(because he has a heart doctor instead of just a GP at this point) who says his energy drinks are fine to chug but the GP says no, so he doesn't want to listen to the heart specialist? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51MhvcvaSuQ&t=671s

Now sure, his GP was probably right about the energy drinks, but he's also had a GP that apparently told him she could see abdominal muscle definition and that Fatty was getting "cut" thanks to p90x https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3bP1oaC3VM&t=163s

Even if this retard is attempting to quote his doctor, you just cannot believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He probably wouldn't know one day from the next if he had diarrhea or not and that's a major symptom of a bunch of foodborne illnesses we know he's been exposed to many times. We know damned well he likely isn't going to admit to any medical issues that aren't blatantly obvious either on camera as he stumbles around or changes diet from one week to the next(or the occasional off-hand comment from Tammy that gets left in).

Fatty claiming his stomach is shrinking, even though the numbers say otherwise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdWx8brFe3o&t=553s
Friend jokingly asking if he took his heart medicine, people without heart problems don't take heart medicine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvpm_WK5waw&t=42s
Doesn't have the word "diet" in his vocabulary, diets are useless... just exercise and eat right! https://youtu.be/9gbUM9oHBNI&t=249

It just goes on and on with this retard. His brother doesn't brush his teeth and has told Fatty to not brush his teeth, but at the same time Fatty wanted to get teeth whitening done? wtf is the point if you're going to leave them disgusting? And that shit isn't too embarrassing for him to avoid discussing. Think of how bad the other shit HAS to be.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

You know, while there is something to be said about avoiding heavily processed foods, this whole idea of a carnivore/raw/caveman diet is bullshit. Firstly, our teeth are obviously not the teeth of obligate carnivores. Secondly, cavemen were the ones who started cooking things as much as possible back when starting/keeping fires was a bit of an ordeal versus the supreme luxury of electric flame. They would carefully pack embers for travel and transportation, to provide them with a cookfire later on. The story of how we received the fires of the gods is a whole thing in the Greek mythology. Eat more natural foods, eat a healthy mix of meats, fruits, vegetables and starches. Lay off the heavily processed stuff. Drink more water, get more sleep. Go for a walk.

It's our harnessing of fire and it's effects on foods that is really what jumpstarted our evolution and turned us into what we are today. Fire made food easier to eat. It made it easier to digest. Suddenly the big, strong jaw muscles were no longer needed and with the increased nutrition it could be put towards other things.

Yes some foods lose nutrition when you cook them. But some are actually MORE nutritious when you do because it allows you to extract more from it. Beans for example can be toxic if not heated properly. But when cooked those toxins are neutralized and they're easier to digest. Or tomatoes, when cooked, make lycopene which is a powerful antioxidant.

Paleo was one thing. It focused on whole foods, reducing processed foods and just used the stuff that cavemen would have had access to. But the carnivore diet? It's extreme. But I really want to see Jagoff's health take a turn for the worse. Or better still he ruins it by doing Fat on the Go and eating the bun for his burger.

The only negative was that my relative said they were hungry even when they were full of food - which I assume was their own wendigo howling for fat and simple carbs. Big cravings for buttered toast. However they had self-control and stuck to it.

A lot of those diets make you feel hungry all the time and the cravings for carbs gets to be really strong after a couple weeks. But suck it up snowflake. If you want to lose weight you need to go about it properly.

Now sure, his GP was probably right about the energy drinks, but he's also had a GP that apparently told him she could see abdominal muscle definition and that Fatty was getting "cut" thanks to p90x https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3bP1oaC3VM&t=163s

There was NO fucking difference between him before P90X and after. None.

Why? He half-assed it and didn't change his eating habits. And in order to be "cut" you need to get below a certain bf%. This faggot has not been below 50% for most of his adult life. You have muscles like a fucking sumo wrestler and those guys are fucking jacked. But they're so fat that you can't see it.

 

[p1138]

There was NO fucking difference between him before P90X and after. None.

Why? He half-assed it and didn't change his eating habits. And in order to be "cut" you need to get below a certain bf%. This faggot has not been below 50% for most of his adult life. You have muscles like a fucking sumo wrestler and those guys are fucking jacked. But they're so fat that you can't see it.

Of course we all know this. Fatty on the other hand is either fucking delusional(well, he is), or was seeing a delusional "doctor" that convinced him of whatever bullshit they were trying to sell him on. And we know damn well his brother who gives him "advice" is a fucking loon. And the "stomach is shrinking? LOL, fuck no it isn't. He claimed that how far down his shirts hang is a measure of losing weight... the simple fucking reality is that his body was giving up and just sagging more if there was any change at all on how low his shirts went. "if you're fat, you know" no Fatty, you were just hungry.

edit: That entire fucking video is hilarious. He points at his arms claiming he can see veins. Shows his thigh claiming that his legs are "all solid muscle" while punching his leg. Also talks about how "cut" he is... yet he can't look down and see his own dick without a mirror.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He claimed that how far down his shirts hang is a measure of losing weight... the simple fucking reality is that his body was giving up and just sagging more if there was any change at all on how low his shirts went. "if you're fat, you know" no Fatty, you were just hungry.

I think it's just another thing that Fatty Doo Doo heard once and adopted it without understanding it.

A good rule of thumb when losing weight while also lifting is to measure your success by how your clothes fit. There will be times you've lost fat but gained muscle so your weight hasn't changed much. But since fat takes up more space, your clothes would be roomier. He thought his shirt hanging down a tiny bit showed his weight loss was happening.

 

[Piggle Rick]

A lot of those diets make you feel hungry all the time and the cravings for carbs gets to be really strong after a couple weeks. But suck it up snowflake. If you want to lose weight you need to go about it properly.

I am no expert but I think any diet where a person actually loses weight will have the person feeling hungry, won’t it? Like your body would be using up fat reserves and sending messages to your brain that they need to be replenished?
If/when I get fat though I expect I’ll do the bran/fish/green veg diet and not the meat/meat/butter/meat/cheese/meat version. I feel intuitively that one of them is better for me.

 

[p1138]

I am no expert but I think any diet where a person actually loses weight will have the person feeling hungry, won’t it? Like your body would be using up fat reserves and sending messages to your brain that they need to be replenished?
If/when I get fat though I expect I’ll do the bran/fish/green veg diet and not the meat/meat/butter/meat/cheese/meat version. I feel intuitively that one of them is better for me.

Yes. Calories spent being greater than calories consumed = weight loss. It really isn't that hard. And when your body is used to getting a certain amount of calories, or just being overfilled(fatty just eats till he's about to burst, that's when he knows he's done eating), suddenly sees a change it's stupid and thinks you need to eat more until it figures out wtf a new normal is. Literally the only problem with this is just having the damn discipline.

I think it's just another thing that Fatty Doo Doo heard once and adopted it without understanding it.

A good rule of thumb when losing weight while also lifting is to measure your success by how your clothes fit. There will be times you've lost fat but gained muscle so your weight hasn't changed much. But since fat takes up more space, your clothes would be roomier. He thought his shirt hanging down a tiny bit showed his weight loss was happening.

Of course, but since we know it's fatty, it comes off as being comical.