Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Incel Death Note said:
Hahaha.
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Anyone else and I'd write this off as a joke but you just know Pat is already imagining himself bossing Guy Ritchie around on set.
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Hulu keeps trying to get me to watch their new dumb show about The Artful Dodger all grown up, so the funny part is that if he'd actually finished a first draft in a reasonable amount of time, there was a market for it.
 
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Useful_Mistake said:
There's a reason one should judge by the content not word counts. They, by itself, say nothing. I have seen RWBY fics written faster and with more words than his, for example. Likewise, 80k is not equal to 80k. The first Harry Potter book is pretty short all in all (76,944 words), but it has a lot more in it than most larger books (or fics for that matter)

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And all this is just from one author. Nearly 30 works, all many times larger than Pat's. I can't necessarily vouch for quality, but if he wants to compare word counts, he's beat.
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It's almost like when somebody has passion, that 80k word count comes easy and you actually have to cut content for publication.

That's been my conclusion of Pat's writing honestly; he doesn't care, so writing a normal length book is a struggle.
 
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AirdropShitposts said:
This is to me the essence of the lolcow (aside from the actually mentally ill or just regular sexual freaks who are lolcows but in a different way to me) and it's ultimately an inability to laugh at themselves in any way.
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The interesting thing is that you can run into people like this all the time in real life. Hell I have family members who have a lot of pat tendencies to the point that they're estranged from my parents and I.

What truly makes the lolcow is these personality/behavior patterns combined with the "fame" and attention you get from being public on the internet. It truly does something to their minds and I think that's why, as you pointed out, you see VERY similar patterns in personality and actions across almost all lolcows.

But of course, lolcows do not exist, stalker. Enjoy prison.
 
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An automatic clown said:
Pat, no one cares
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That's how writing a novel works. You try to hit a minimum word count like a 4th grade book report and you are trying desperately to maintain your 1.7 GPA. This man is lazy and half assed in everything he does besides responding to every criticism on X. King, Tolkien, Rowling, all these sci-fi/fantasy authors worked with strict word counts to do as little work as possible. (Sorry I'm barely literate and don't know any authors besides normie tier ones to reference. At least my GPA wasn't 1.7 though.)
 
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Seanut Arbuckle said:
The interesting thing is that you can run into people like this all the time in real life. Hell I have family members who have a lot of pat tendencies to the point that they're estranged from my parents and I.

What truly makes the lolcow is these personality/behavior patterns combined with the "fame" and attention you get from being public on the internet. It truly does something to their minds and I think that's why, as you pointed out, you see VERY similar patterns in personality and actions across almost all lolcows.

But of course, lolcows do not exist, stalker. Enjoy prison.
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The fame or rather, infamy, is very much a defining trait of being a lolcow. And pat does it marvelously. He can't shut up because then the Stalker Childs get the last word in on twitter.com. it's pure comedy
 
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Useful_Mistake said:
I will not enjoy prison! Good day to you, Sir! Good day, I say!
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Shhhh baby infant child. Your stalker mouth is doing that thing again. You will be taken to prison for your many many felonious crimes against me and my family.
Jeff_the_Thriller said:
That's how writing a novel works. You try to hit a minimum word count like a 4th grade book report
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Pat wouldn’t really know anything about book reports with his 1.7 GPA and all.
 
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I can't properly archive it and investigate all the details, but Leslie is calling out Pat on his famous "6 figure author" boast.

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According to her data, Pat has earned in fact less than 50k per TWO books. Yes, believe it or not, "Mr 250 pound bench press" was lying once again.

Like I said, I can't verify it properly right now, but it seems Pat was caught pants down, faucet showing and all.

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There's a lot more juicy info in the thread, if someone else can take a look at it.

Edit:
Sorry if this post is not really very organized. Today's been a very busy day, and I'm just trying to archive any relevant info before it all gets deleted. Hopefully later someone more knowledgeable than me about the publishing business will properly analyze this and post everything in a more digestible way.
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I'mThePatMan! said:
I can't properly archive it and investigate all the detail, but Leslie is calling out Pat on his famous "6 figure author" boast.

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According to her data, Pat has earned in fact less than 50k per TWO books. Yes, believe it or not, "Mr 250 pound bench press" was lying once again.

Like I said, I can't verify it properly right now, but it seems Pat was caught pants down, faucet showing and all.

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There's a lot more juice info in the thread, if someone else can dig it.
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Gonna need to see that $99,000 check. I've certainly never heard of that.
 
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Johnny Salami said:
We know he won't self publish since he sees it beneath him (and the only way he'll make money is with an advanced) so how does he intend to sell it when he's burned bridges with a publisher or two and he didn't even finish out his last contract due to low sells?
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Every publisher has a few bread and butter authors they know are going to turn a profit for them that year, but they also need to keep an oar in the water with filler material, and a chump like Tomlinson could be one of those guys if he produced regularly. For instance, Orson Scott Card would be Tor's moneymaker. Then you have your Cuck Wendigos and the like who aren't particularly good but can be relied on to fill out the catalog.

So he might be able to sell something already written even with a bad reputation. They more or less expect most of these aren't going to earn out their advance, but occasionally one will hit big. I don't see anything Fatty writes ever setting the literary world on fire, but he can probably muddle on as a shitty writer.

Of course it would be even more hilarious if he finishes it, it's as complete a piece of shit as we're imagining, and he can't even sell it because it sucks that bad, but considering the garbage he's had published, he'd have to outdo himself.
 
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I'mThePatMan! said:
According to her data, Pat has earned in fact less than 50k per TWO books. Yes, believe it or not, "Mr 250 pound bench press" was lying once again.
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I am torn on if Pat was exaggerating/lying about the amount of money he made or if he just thinks tens of thousand of dollars equals “six figures.” He’s retarded, you see.
AnOminous said:
Of course it would be even more hilarious if he finishes it, it's as complete a piece of shit as we're imagining, and he can't even sell it because it sucks that bad, but considering the garbage he's had published, he'd have to outdo himself.
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I hope it is a giant failure beyond our wildest imaginations and Leslie is there to guide us on just how badly it flops. She has been the best addition to the Pat universe so far.
 
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