Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[AgendaPoster]

Tell us about yourself. The doctor is in.

OK so.
I've antagonized some anime avis with weird, feminism-level beliefs and I feel a tiny bit guilty about it.
Wat do

 

[The Hardest R]

What do you think about women asking men out? Outside of asking out literal autists (Who can't pick up social cue), I don't think this is a good idea and women should not do this. Clearly, based on the negative stickers I received, this is a controversial subject. So, why not discuss it here

I think men should ask women out but if the woman is not interested, she should say as such. No leading a man on, no making a huge deal out of it, and no TikToks need to be made about it. I think women should be more direct about their rejection though because of said autists. Saying you’re dog sitting tonight gives our socially awkward brothers the impression that you’d be willing to date on a night when you’re not dog sitting. Saying “No thank you, I’m not interested” is clear enough. If he doesn’t get it after that, then there’s a problem.

Having said that, I think women do ask guys out in indirect ways more often than men think. Chances are good that if a man is not fat and/or unkempt and have been out and about, I’m sure women have made it known that they’re interested and guys ignore it all the time.

 

[NoReturn]

What current fashion for men around 30 is there these days? Everytime I look into it, all the results are extremely gay. Im looking for something beyond flannel, jeans, carhartt, nice watches, and business casual.

Why do people in this thread keep treating a date like a marriage proposal? The whole point of a date is to figure out if you're right for each other, and then decide if you want to pursue a relationship. There's nothing wrong with asking someone out before you know if they're a good partner, that's what the date is for.

Am I the retard here?

ANIME.
I shit you not. This is a real thing. In Japan, there's a cultural difference where if you ask someone out, you're basically going steady. Blah blah obvious exceptions, but that's why there are so many scenes in anime where people make a big deal out of "confessing their feelings" because if you confess to someone and they accept, then that's it, from that moment on you're "in a relationship". People see this trope in their anime high-school fantasy stories and think the real world works like that.

You know actually, this picture made me think of a question. Are there any fictional relationships that ladies think are the ideal? Or fictional character that are their dream men? This isn't so much for help but I think it could be fun sharing.

Just off the top of my head:

For children:

• 101 Dalmations - Roger and Anita (and Pongo and Perdita)
• Emperor's New Groove - Pacha and Chicha

Also, one that left a strong impression on me as a kid: Xanatos and Fox from Gargoyles. They're both "bad guys" but they loved and supported each other in a way I'd not seen before. The show put all the "Will they won't they" writing on Goliath and Elisa, so they just wrote Fox and David as a secure, loving couple.

From anime:

• Full Metal Alchemist actually has two of these: Izumi and Sig Curtis, and Maes and Gracia Hughes.
• The Way of the Househusband - Tatsu and Miku

And in live action:

• The Addams Family - Gomez and Morticia Addams
• Who Framed Roger Rabbit - Roger and Jessica, yeah she played Patty-Cake with another man, but she was being blackmailed and she genuinely is happy the problem is over and gets to be with her husband. Apparently this is a change from the book, where she really is what she's assumed to be in the film version, but I've not read it.

Also, What We Do in the Shadows has Nadja and Lazlo. The details of their relationship aren't something I'd want, but I do appreciate the show writing them as openly, happily, and unapologetically in love. "Wife bad, husband stupid" isn't funny. It's a tired boomer trope, so having them not just avoid it, but create their own thing with the dynamic is fun.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

OK so.
I've antagonized some anime avis with weird, feminism-level beliefs and I feel a tiny bit guilty about it.
Wat do

CONFIDENTIAL:
Psychiatrist's notes:

• Initial consult:
  • responded to invitation to discuss self with OT behavioral question
    • obvs mother issues; Oedipal?
  • cheerful - suppressed rage?
  • avatar tripping balls
  • Romanian
• Diagnosis: idfk
• Recommended course of action: monitor

Advice:

 

[AgendaPoster]

Diagnosis: Romanian

avatar tripping balls

Enjoy current avatar cause next one will be way worse.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Diagnosis: Romanian

At least it's not Lupus.

Enjoy current avatar cause next one will be way worse.

Already told you I love your Gahan avatar! You're the one who told me he was high as a kite there. But I still watch it from time to time for a couple of loops bc high or not it's got great energy.

Are you doing a Christmas avatar? Here's one:

 

[AgendaPoster]

Are you doing a Christmas avatar?

I'm afraid it might be the opposite of that
I might still be able to guarantee the tripping balls part

 

[SentinentCloud]

do girls really like when i fart under the blanket and pull them under

 

[FarmVille]

The issue is me, but I don't see what I'm doing wrong. I've been told that I overvalue sincerity. I've also annoyed some women with my fixation on topics. For example, discussing different covid mask types and the affects a new accessory had on self expression. I think stuff like that sets off red flags, but I don't want to compromise on who I am. Any insights or advice would be appreciated.

Femoids help, I want women to date me but I refuse to comprise on acting like an autist retard in front of them. Please advise.

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

I don't really understand why it has to be a gendered issue. I think plenty of women and men alike have lost out on good relationships because they're too scared/timid/self sabotaging/whatever to ask out the person they like. Doesn't matter what's between your legs; if you want something, take some initiative and try to get it.

Honestly, a lot of this is to do with Game Theory, because dating is essentially a game. To represent this, I'm going to basically model it something akin to the prisoners dilemma. This is actually a really common example of the prisoner's dilemma in practice where spoiler alert: The Nash Equilibrium (basically the optimal move that we'd expect the players in the game to do) is don't ask out, don't ask out. Read if you want, you don't have to. I'm only writing this because it's something that interests me and I'm a selfish git and I find it funny how much dating and nuclear war has in common. I'll then link into what you said with "I think plenty of women and men alike have lost out in good relationships" by basically explaining how this is a coordination problem, where the main problem is that they don't act necessarily based on their feelings but upon their feelings.

Basically, to explain the table we are presuming the coulomb (sides) player is the first (X), (the man) the row (top) player is the woman Woman and they're second (Y). If they ask out, then the other either accepts or rejects. Getting rejecting has utility -10, and rejecting is -2 because it is awkward. If they don't ask out, the other player needs not respond.

		Woman
		Ask Out/Accept	Don't Ask Out/Reject
Man	Ask Out/Accept	10, 10	-10, -2
	Don't Ask Out/Reject	-2, -10	-5, -5

The Nash equilibrium is going to be Don't Ask Out, Don't Ask Out. What we're assuming is the player doesn't know what the other person thinks. They may have evidence to give them a probability of what they think but this is just it. For example, if the man asks out the woman pit but the woman declines then the man will feel worse than if they didn't ask her out. Thus, through backwards induction we can expect the man to not ask the woman out. Backwards induction basically working backwards from an action to interpret their results by trying to weigh the probable outcomes and the utility of such acts. We expect the same thing to happen for when the woman asks the man out. I'm assuming no social stigma within this very basic version of the model. We could model it with other constants and variables based around different cases and although that would be interesting, I'm lazy and no one would really want to get into that much autism.

Of course, this is a very basic version of the game. If I was to model it with pure autism I'd be able to get something more accurate. To highlight the basic flaws with examples will show the first limitations: If we are to assume that the man is tough guy who is full of confidence and is just down to get bad then he'll ask out the lady. Because he doesn't care and he may not weigh the negative utility all that much. Or, if the woman wants a more traditional relationship she'll ask out first because of the crowd she's in and courting. It's all about preferences and the group.

This, basically helps to explain why it is a gendered issue and even if two people are madly in love they won't ask out the other because of the prospect of rejection being so bad. It's gendered because of perceptions, and the preferences people have because of the perceptions. The man may reject the woman because their preference of wanting to be viewed as "chad" who is the alpha is above the preference of being with the love of his life. They would not want to be submissive to some woman, such examples of this state of mind may be your average Andrew Tate fan. Basically, everything is a game and everything is dumb. Plus, other people have different preferences and this is a very general model. Some guys may actually prefer to be asked out, if the woman shows initiative they may take it to mean they're willing to speak their mind and may find their inputs actually useful out of a form of curiosity or caring for them. Others, just want a woman that is easy to control but alas, from the general statements of the recent pages women find it cute to be asked out. They like it for men to show initiative. A lot of this may stem from social expectations. but people have preferences and people are complex.

What this then actually turns into is that of a coordination problem. A coordination problem being a problem where two players find it difficult for them to co-ordinate with each other to get their maximum utility. This links back to what I had mentioned earlier with players acting based around the prospect outcomes and the negative utility and your statement of them taking initiative. If both people are interested as what is needed is a means for them to actually coordinate with each other based around their preferences to reach maximum utility. This sort of things sort of exists with dating apps, and the amount of choice that one gets with trying to find a "date". But even then, it's all generalised. Some people chose dating apps, thinking that form of sorting is for them but it may not be. Dating apps basically lower the loss of rejection and give incentive for people to try to date. Dating is a game, and they want to get people to date because then more people will want to pay to use the app. This is why dating apps also have paid incentive to try to get others to match. When you can just find a new person to hook up with rejection is not all that bad. You basically don't have to worry about sunk costs when asking someone out. It's a game of probabilities and dating apps try to maximise them.

Yes people ask out others all the time, but it is really just probability and this simplified model really is just to explain why courting is dumb in general This is why different means exist to try to sort dates through the game. Dates however, are useful as they allow others to see if they are compatible, to observe if others can function with each other and taking an incremental approach.

Edit: Dating:

A STRANGE GAME
THE ONLY WINNING IS
NOT TO PLAY

HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF CHESS?

Femoids help, I want women to date me but I refuse to comprise on acting like an autist retard in front of them. Please advise.

Learn game theory nerd! You'll be autistic, but appear smart and know how to get your way. Understanding their preferences are important. Some women may not care about the autism if you're confident af. Source: A lot of women like confidence, just talk to them.

 

[AgendaPoster]

A STRANGE GAME
THE ONLY WINNING IS
NOT TO PLAY

If I was a chick and I knew you wrote that post that alone would make me not date you, no offense

 

[AWizard]

ANIME.
I shit you not. This is a real thing. In Japan, there's a cultural difference where if you ask someone out, you're basically going steady. Blah blah obvious exceptions, but that's why there are so many scenes in anime where people make a big deal out of "confessing their feelings" because if you confess to someone and they accept, then that's it, from that moment on you're "in a relationship". People see this trope in their anime high-school fantasy stories and think the real world works like that.

Do you remember "glomping"? IIRC it was apparently happening enough at cons way back in the 00s that they had to have a rule against it.

@anliteralidiot
Forgot to ask a while back when talking about vidya concerts but do you still associate with other geeks? Odd question I know.

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

If I was a chick and I knew you wrote that post that alone would make me not date you, no offense

Yeah well, if a chicken asked me "Shall we play a game" I wouldn't want to play "Global Thermonuclear War" so.

 

[dick brain]

[autism]

While I absolutely love this breakdown, it is fundamentally still predicated on this mentality:

ANIME.
I shit you not. This is a real thing. In Japan, there's a cultural difference where if you ask someone out, you're basically going steady. Blah blah obvious exceptions, but that's why there are so many scenes in anime where people make a big deal out of "confessing their feelings" because if you confess to someone and they accept, then that's it, from that moment on you're "in a relationship". People see this trope in their anime high-school fantasy stories and think the real world works like that.

which I maintain is retarded. The only reason rejection has a negative weight is because you've built your hopes up, and the only reason you've built your hopes up is because you didn't ask them out when you first became interested, and the only reason you didn't ask them out when you first became interested is because you've built up the idea of a "date" as something more than "let's see if we like each other." Meanwhile, you probably spend the same amount of time figuring out if you like this person without determining whether you've got a shot in the first place. Just nut up and ask when the rejection is weighted at 0 instead of letting it get to -2 or whatever. Not only does it save you both time and trouble, but the rejection hurts less for both parties because neither of you have a chance to get your hopes up. You can still reject each other later, that's what dating is for.

It's not just cowardice, it's cowardice that backfires. Shoot your shot, don't waste your time ruminating.

 

[NoReturn]

Do you remember "glomping"? IIRC it was apparently happening enough at cons way back in the 00s that they had to have a rule against it.

@anliteralidiot
Forgot to ask a while back when talking about vidya concerts but do you still associate with other geeks? Odd question I know.

I remember glomping AND yaoi paddles. I remember a dude got his spine broken from a yaoi paddle injury once, too.
I wonder where he is today.

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

which I maintain is retarded. The only reason rejection has a negative weight is because you've built your hopes up, and the only reason you've built your hopes up is because you didn't ask them out when you first became interested, and the only reason you didn't ask them out when you first became interested is because you've built up the idea of a "date" as something more than "let's see if we like each other." Meanwhile, you probably spend the same amount of time figuring out if you like this person without determining whether you've got a shot in the first place. Just nut up and ask when the rejection is weighted at 0 instead of letting it get to -2 or whatever. Not only does it save you both time and trouble, but the rejection hurts less for both parties because neither of you have a chance to get your hopes up. You can still reject each other later, that's what dating is for.

Which, what you're saying links back into the coordination problem in critiquing the initial courting process and is basically the point of dating apps. It's about trying to manipulate the utility and the game such that dating becomes desirable. The initial process of sorting into individuals into couples begins when they first interact. I could go on about social games, and how these develop but alas I am tired and I'm not really sure on if I like the rough model I have with it being more akin to a series of lanes and this is really something that I want to read more into. Which yes, if they just acted then they would not have as much sunk costs, but at the same time the date then serves an earlier social role. Perhaps it is beneficial in speeding up the overall romantic process. Perhaps, there is information lost surrounding the other. I cannot say.

 

[cybertoaster]

Honestly, a lot of this is to do with Game Theory,

I'm going to be blunt here: this entire post reeks of femaledatingstrategy...

The man may reject the woman because their preference of wanting to be viewed as "chad" who is the alpha is above the preference of being with the love of his life

Literally nobody does this, the "chads" simply say yes then plow the chick and leave. The only chicks I seen being rejected were too fat/ugly and thus out of their league, and keep in mind most "chads" will still plow almost anything specially if drunk, so the bar its really low.

such examples of this state of mind may be your average Andrew Tate fan

Those stupid losers would shit themselves if a girl, any girl, asked them out.

And of course they would say yes, but this situation will never happen in the first place so its pointless to consider the ramifications.

from the general statements of the recent pages women find it cute to be asked out

From experience women find it humilliating, even enraging, to have to ask a man out. Its like "what am I not good enough to be asked out? why should I lower myself to this?".

This is why dating apps also have paid incentive to try to get others to match.

The real business behind those apps is to keep you single so you'll come back, why you think those apps are all owned by the same corp?

Shoot your shot, don't waste your time ruminating.

The Boomhauer method.

yaoi paddles

What the hell is that?

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

The Addams Family - Gomez and Morticia Addams

Spoiler: Addams Family Sperging

It seems to heavily depend on the adaptation, the 50s adaptation is the best cause Gomez is a chad and Morticia is also cool. In the 90s Raul Julia one Gomez seems a bit less chad but not very out there, probably cause it was one of the last films with Raul Julia and he wasnt in top form at the time. Post the 2000s for some reason Gomez became the comedic punching bag, hes like a short fat mustached pig and I really didnt like it. 50s Gomez is like a suave businessman who is extremely competent which makes his relationship with Morticia make sense, they complement each other. Idk what happened, probably feminism, but Morticia pretty much became the de facto leader of the family and is portrayed as such, she pretty much keeps fat Gomez on a leash like a circus animal. As much as I like Luiz Guzman its insulting to the character that he played Gomez, same for the animated film. I dont care if the original comics portrayed Gomez as a fat incompetent pig, I want him to be a chad again.

Honestly, a lot of this is to do with Game Theory, because dating is essentially a game. To represent this, I'm going to basically model it something akin to the prisoners dilemma. This is actually a really common example of the prisoner's dilemma in practice where spoiler alert: The Nash Equilibrium (basically the optimal move that we'd expect the players in the game to do) is don't ask out, don't ask out. Read if you want, you don't have to. I'm only writing this because it's something that interests me and I'm a selfish git and I find it funny how much dating and nuclear war has in common. I'll then link into what you said with "I think plenty of women and men alike have lost out in good relationships" by basically explaining how this is a coordination problem, where the main problem is that they don't act necessarily based on their feelings but upon their feelings.

Basically, to explain the table we are presuming the coulomb (sides) player is the first (X), (the man) the row (top) player is the woman Woman and they're second (Y). If they ask out, then the other either accepts or rejects. Getting rejecting has utility -10, and rejecting is -2 because it is awkward. If they don't ask out, the other player needs not respond.

Woman
Ask Out/Accept	Don't Ask Out/Reject
Man	Ask Out/Accept	10, 10	-10, -2
Don't Ask Out/Reject	-2, -10	-5, -5

The Nash equilibrium is going to be Don't Ask Out, Don't Ask Out. What we're assuming is the player doesn't know what the other person thinks. They may have evidence to give them a probability of what they think but this is just it. For example, if the man asks out the woman pit but the woman declines then the man will feel worse than if they didn't ask her out. Thus, through backwards induction we can expect the man to not ask the woman out. Backwards induction basically working backwards from an action to interpret their results by trying to weigh the probable outcomes and the utility of such acts. We expect the same thing to happen for when the woman asks the man out. I'm assuming no social stigma within this very basic version of the model. We could model it with other constants and variables based around different cases and although that would be interesting, I'm lazy and no one would really want to get into that much autism.

Of course, this is a very basic version of the game. If I was to model it with pure autism I'd be able to get something more accurate. To highlight the basic flaws with examples will show the first limitations: If we are to assume that the man is tough guy who is full of confidence and is just down to get bad then he'll ask out the lady. Because he doesn't care and he may not weigh the negative utility all that much. Or, if the woman wants a more traditional relationship she'll ask out first because of the crowd she's in and courting. It's all about preferences and the group.

This, basically helps to explain why it is a gendered issue and even if two people are madly in love they won't ask out the other because of the prospect of rejection being so bad. It's gendered because of perceptions, and the preferences people have because of the perceptions. The man may reject the woman because their preference of wanting to be viewed as "chad" who is the alpha is above the preference of being with the love of his life. They would not want to be submissive to some woman, such examples of this state of mind may be your average Andrew Tate fan. Basically, everything is a game and everything is dumb. Plus, other people have different preferences and this is a very general model. Some guys may actually prefer to be asked out, if the woman shows initiative they may take it to mean they're willing to speak their mind and may find their inputs actually useful out of a form of curiosity or caring for them. Others, just want a woman that is easy to control but alas, from the general statements of the recent pages women find it cute to be asked out. They like it for men to show initiative. A lot of this may stem from social expectations. but people have preferences and people are complex.

What this then actually turns into is that of a coordination problem. A coordination problem being a problem where two players find it difficult for them to co-ordinate with each other to get their maximum utility. This links back to what I had mentioned earlier with players acting based around the prospect outcomes and the negative utility and your statement of them taking initiative. If both people are interested as what is needed is a means for them to actually coordinate with each other based around their preferences to reach maximum utility. This sort of things sort of exists with dating apps, and the amount of choice that one gets with trying to find a "date". But even then, it's all generalised. Some people chose dating apps, thinking that form of sorting is for them but it may not be. Dating apps basically lower the loss of rejection and give incentive for people to try to date. Dating is a game, and they want to get people to date because then more people will want to pay to use the app. This is why dating apps also have paid incentive to try to get others to match. When you can just find a new person to hook up with rejection is not all that bad. You basically don't have to worry about sunk costs when asking someone out. It's a game of probabilities and dating apps try to maximise them.

Yes people ask out others all the time, but it is really just probability and this simplified model really is just to explain why courting is dumb in general This is why different means exist to try to sort dates through the game. Dates however, are useful as they allow others to see if they are compatible, to observe if others can function with each other and taking an incremental approach.

Edit: Dating:

A STRANGE GAME
THE ONLY WINNING IS
NOT TO PLAY

HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF CHESS?

Game Theory technically works in every aspect of life cause its focused on surviving the scoreboard rather than winning the game, minimizing long term losses over short term gains. However I wouldnt advise applying this autism to finding someone who you want to be with. This isnt the RooshV playbook.

It's not just cowardice, it's cowardice that backfires. Shoot your shot, don't waste your time ruminating.

Im a terminal ruminator, its causing me insomnia. I would say its cause of autistic levels of risk avoidance. I should probably learn to just give up and give in.

What the hell is that?

Its like a paddle used to slap mens asses at yaoi drink parties I presume. Its like a wooden ping pong bat with a larger surface area.

 

[JamusActimus]

The idea that women can offer valuable advice is already funny.

But DATING advice? Yeah that's hillarious

 

[☻]

Femoids help, I want women to date me but I refuse to comprise on acting like an autist retard in front of them. Please advise.

Stick to what you're good at: discussing lasering off body hair and hanging with men that are too retarded to understand female anotomy.