- Joined
- May 16, 2016
Troika is Russian for "a group of three"
Troika only made three games.
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IT'S LIKE RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
Troika only made three games.
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IT'S LIKE RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
Let's Sperg Temple of Elemental Evil - More like Temple of Kiwimental Autism, amirite?
- Thread starter Jaimas
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Had they not folded, we could of gotten another VTMB game or even a sequel to Arcanum.
- Joined
- May 16, 2016
They also made a tech demo for a third Fallout. Then Bethesda outbid them.
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
After the fight with the Banshee, I was horrified to see that she almost killed @Smutley through strength damage. Seriously, she brought his ass to 1 Str and a character brought to zero strength by her attack dies. This necessitated a trip back to town to refresh and patch up the barrage of strength damage he took. Whilst there, I upgraded @Shuu Iwamine's bow and @c-no's warhammer so we didn't have a repeat of the fucking Jackalwere situation. Jaimas will need to wait for later upgrades.
It dawned on me that I never showed you the front door of this fucking place. The main door to the temple cannot open. In this screenie you can, however, see the "main" entrance that most players will use to enter the Temple proper. The building is fucking massive - dwarfing the castles of the world's lords. I'm reminded of the Flak towers in Germany that still exist because destroying the fucking things would take too much fucking time, effort, and explosives.
Back to the temple, I encounter an event I've never seen before, as a Harpy screams to stop hurting her. Our heroes move to investigate.
After we deal with her sisters, this Harpy turns out to not be hostile, but isn't very talkative. Smutley attempts to flirt, but she doesn't really understand, and it's important to bear in mind the rules of interspecies romance, so we leave the friendly Harpy alone and go about our business.
Our hero runs through the tragic remains of Tyce's earlier campaign to attack the Temple. Clearly, it did not go well. Tyce's remnants go after us, but by now they can be one-shotted by any of us, especially C-No's new Order's Wrath spell and Shuu's Fireball. Soonafter, we meet up at the Earth Temple.
The Earth Temple seems remarkably chill. Even their Ogres are polite and well-mannered.
Even the guards surprise me by being 100% nonplussed at us running around through here, leading me to believe that this shit is just a routine occurrence for these clowns.
Their military commander basically tells us to help out or fuck off too. Clearly he Earth Temple is kind of neat.
Romag, the Earth Temple head, is kind of a weird one. His temple is by far the strongest to the point where it takes up the entire floor, and he's gotten kind of arrogant and lazy over it. I'm not going to lie when I say that he sounds as bewildered as Jace did during his LP sessions, and that is pretty goddamned funny. In fact, I want you to picture all of Romag's lines read with Jace's delivery. Trust me, it'll be accurate. Using the robe he was wearing in some of the previous screenies, Jaimas convinces Romag that he's a new recruit. After Romag realizes that Jaimas is a cut above the usual rabble, he then starts to explain what he wants the group to do.
After a bit of snark from Jaimas, Romag then explains that he wants us to kill a huge poisonous snake in the kitchen that killed one of his ogre chefs so they can get back to binge drinking and heavy partying. I like the Earth Temple already. Hilariously, this is something I already did, because the encounter with the Viper was so not-noteworthy I didn't even take screengrabs.
Romag is grateful and gives us task #2: To deliver a letter from a dude named Rentsch in Nulb. Which means we have to walk all the fuck the way to Nulb. Someday, Shuu will be able to teleport us from anywhere in the world to anywhere in the world, but for now, courage, because we have a fucking hike ahead.
You know, before I get into Rentsch's delivery quest, I need to take a moment and say fuck Dala. Dala is a serving girl at the hostelry Rentsch is at, and is currently hiding under the text box. She looks exactly like the other serving wench except she has a different dress.
This fucking asshole will try to Sleight of Hand your ass every time you enter, pilfering belongings from your inventory. If she wasn't fucking terrible at it, did an obvious animation, and had such a high chance to get caught, this would be way worse, but as it is, she's a giant risk to any player who comes to Nulb below level 3. If she succeeds, she'll swipe anything remotely valuable.
She will keep trying every time you enter, and if you catch the dumb bitch when she's making the attempt you'll piss off Rentsch and have to intimidate him, bribe him, talk him down, or kill everyone in the bar, all because of one fucking asshole who won't keep her hands to herself. It's like those kids in Fallout 2, except I have no qualms about murdering everyone in this building except that it would cause the quest to fail. Fittingly, Dala tried to rob @BOLDYSPICY! this time, but Boldy caught her and threatened to kill everyone here if he and Dala didn't fuck off.
Jaimas delivers the letter and we're done here.
Thus begins the long trek back to fucking Romag's, after a brief nap at our home in Nulb.
It dawned on me that I never showed you the front door of this fucking place. The main door to the temple cannot open. In this screenie you can, however, see the "main" entrance that most players will use to enter the Temple proper. The building is fucking massive - dwarfing the castles of the world's lords. I'm reminded of the Flak towers in Germany that still exist because destroying the fucking things would take too much fucking time, effort, and explosives.
Back to the temple, I encounter an event I've never seen before, as a Harpy screams to stop hurting her. Our heroes move to investigate.
After we deal with her sisters, this Harpy turns out to not be hostile, but isn't very talkative. Smutley attempts to flirt, but she doesn't really understand, and it's important to bear in mind the rules of interspecies romance, so we leave the friendly Harpy alone and go about our business.
Our hero runs through the tragic remains of Tyce's earlier campaign to attack the Temple. Clearly, it did not go well. Tyce's remnants go after us, but by now they can be one-shotted by any of us, especially C-No's new Order's Wrath spell and Shuu's Fireball. Soonafter, we meet up at the Earth Temple.
The Earth Temple seems remarkably chill. Even their Ogres are polite and well-mannered.
Even the guards surprise me by being 100% nonplussed at us running around through here, leading me to believe that this shit is just a routine occurrence for these clowns.
Their military commander basically tells us to help out or fuck off too. Clearly he Earth Temple is kind of neat.
Romag, the Earth Temple head, is kind of a weird one. His temple is by far the strongest to the point where it takes up the entire floor, and he's gotten kind of arrogant and lazy over it. I'm not going to lie when I say that he sounds as bewildered as Jace did during his LP sessions, and that is pretty goddamned funny. In fact, I want you to picture all of Romag's lines read with Jace's delivery. Trust me, it'll be accurate. Using the robe he was wearing in some of the previous screenies, Jaimas convinces Romag that he's a new recruit. After Romag realizes that Jaimas is a cut above the usual rabble, he then starts to explain what he wants the group to do.
After a bit of snark from Jaimas, Romag then explains that he wants us to kill a huge poisonous snake in the kitchen that killed one of his ogre chefs so they can get back to binge drinking and heavy partying. I like the Earth Temple already. Hilariously, this is something I already did, because the encounter with the Viper was so not-noteworthy I didn't even take screengrabs.
Romag is grateful and gives us task #2: To deliver a letter from a dude named Rentsch in Nulb. Which means we have to walk all the fuck the way to Nulb. Someday, Shuu will be able to teleport us from anywhere in the world to anywhere in the world, but for now, courage, because we have a fucking hike ahead.
You know, before I get into Rentsch's delivery quest, I need to take a moment and say fuck Dala. Dala is a serving girl at the hostelry Rentsch is at, and is currently hiding under the text box. She looks exactly like the other serving wench except she has a different dress.
This fucking asshole will try to Sleight of Hand your ass every time you enter, pilfering belongings from your inventory. If she wasn't fucking terrible at it, did an obvious animation, and had such a high chance to get caught, this would be way worse, but as it is, she's a giant risk to any player who comes to Nulb below level 3. If she succeeds, she'll swipe anything remotely valuable.
She will keep trying every time you enter, and if you catch the dumb bitch when she's making the attempt you'll piss off Rentsch and have to intimidate him, bribe him, talk him down, or kill everyone in the bar, all because of one fucking asshole who won't keep her hands to herself. It's like those kids in Fallout 2, except I have no qualms about murdering everyone in this building except that it would cause the quest to fail. Fittingly, Dala tried to rob @BOLDYSPICY! this time, but Boldy caught her and threatened to kill everyone here if he and Dala didn't fuck off.
Jaimas delivers the letter and we're done here.
Thus begins the long trek back to fucking Romag's, after a brief nap at our home in Nulb.
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
A long-as-fuck trip later and we're back at the Temple, and back before High Priest Commander Stryker Romag.
Romag is thankful for our assistance and then gives us our third task:
So now both Kelno and Romag want Belsornig dead. Bad combination. Let's meander over to the Water Temple and meet this guy that the other temples are treating like the Rat Kings treat the Kiwi Farms.
Belsornig is bad news. He's paranoid, intelligent, and fucking diabolical. He's been watching us through his agents since we arrived in Hommlet and he has an active finger on every pulse in the region. If shit goes on, he knows about it. He will tell you (approximately) how long you've been in the game world, bring up shit you've already done, and he knows what quests you have active.
He also knows that both Kelno andJace Romag want us to kill him. Belsornig sees value in us though since his temple is the legit strongest, since he has gone out of his way to make it stronger. The mission he assigns us? Go after a troll chieftain named Oohlgrist and recruit his troll troops for the Water Temple (they are currently freelance).
Politics make for strange bedfellows. Let's see what's up with Alrrem so we don't have any crossed wires.
In contrast to the jocular Kelno, scheming Belsornig and so-chill-he-has-to-be-high Romag, Alrrem is an absolute fucking nutjob and a strong candidate for the best line delivery in the entire game. He is fucking hilarious. Every single thing he yells is over-the-top ham as if he were trying to actively mutate himself into a Captain Planet villain. Only by either supplicating or threatening to kick his ass can you get anywhere with this assclown.
The FireNation Temple attacked and lost, and Alrrem, formerly the main commander of the temple forces, was disgraced. It's heavily implied he was backstabbed by the other temples who were looking to save their own skin. Though he's an absolute nutbar, Alrrem is no fool and is exceptionally skilled as a commander; his troops oversaw the abduction of Prince Thrommel after the battle, as well as the capture and ultimate corruption of Falrinth, the Wizard we stole the Orb of Golden Death from after @Shuu Iwamine stole his scrolls and @BOLDYSPICY! beat him to death with his own spine.
He tasks us with recruiting a Troll named Oohlgrist. God fucking damn it.
This massive shithead is Oohlgrist, and he's the worst sort of dick imaginable for a troll - one that's for sale. He's a genius amongst trolls and is actively playing both Belsornig and Alrrem against one another. Fittingly that the giant green asshole is the smartest motherfucker around. You can actually hire this bastard, and he's one of the strongest NPCs in the entire fucking game, but only if you're evil. He demands a tribute of 1000 Gold for just talking to him, in a sort of genuinely effective version of the Nora Reed Maneuver, unless you sweet-talk him or intimidate his ass.
Oohlgrist is a dick. He'll happily join Belsornig - Belsornig's temple is nascent, and Oohlgrist knows this - but trying to get him to join Alrrem is a maddening endeavor. He turns down Alrrem's offer for Fire resistance and immunity gear, and demands ten thousand fucking gold to join Alrrem's temple. Not even @Smutley's honeyed tongue has any help here.
To the best of my knowledge, there's no way around this, and since Belsornig's quests involve killing Alrrem and killing Romag's jailer, I have no choice but to pay it to get as many quests done as possible. I'd be more pissed about this if I wasn't about to make mad bank from selling everything not nailed down in classic murderhobo fashion. Fuck everything.
Alrrem, selfish prick that he is, then gives me a second mission.
Alrrem's forces now need to be fortified. He wants us to hire him some ogres nearby. Either beat them into unconsciousness or bribe them or intimidate them or convince them diplomatically - he doesn't care. It also opens up the last fast travel location, the Ogre Cave.
The ogres here are easily convinced to join up and Alrrem's second quest is soon complete. Interesting side-note: The domains of the temple clerics are always their chosen element (Fire, Earth, Air, or Water) and the Evil or Chaos domain. This comes up rarely, but if you're fighting Alrrem he will Burning Hands your group, and Kelno will sometimes cast Gaseous Form.
Anyway, back to megalomaniacal asshat land.
Alrrem is very happy. However, the third mission is one that we're not doing. He wants us to find and bring him the Orb of Golden Death. Sorry, asshole, that magic artifact is Kiwi Party property, and if I know anything about anything at this point, it's that giving the golden orb of unfathomable evil power to the single most mentally-unstable person in the entire temple is probably a terrible idea.
What this establishes, by now, is that you can only do, at most, two or three of the temples' quests:
Kelno's third quest demands the deaths of Belsornig or Alrrem
Romag's third quest demands the death of Belsornig
Belsornig's first quest demands Oohlgrist's loyalty
Belsornig's second quest demands the death of Alrrem
Alrrem's first quest demands Oohlgrist's loyalty
Alrrem's third quest demands the Orb of Golden Death
I've been told that if you can meet Alrrem early enough, he gives you an alternate third quest instead, where he asks you to settle an argument between his chief clerics. This would let you accomplish three of the temples' quests, but either way, one or two of these assholes needs to die. Looks like Belsornig got the short straw this playthrough.
Unfortunately for us, that giant statue he has isn't some idol for show. It's a magical construct known as a Juggernaut, and it is a terrifyingly strong enemy capable of crushing lesser foes under its wheels. It has spell resistance, high damage reduction, multiple attacks, and hits like a motherfucker. Even Shuu's mighty magic doesn't help much here; this bastard hangs tough and Belsornig is no pushover either. Worse, the Water Temple is defended by clusters of Gargoyles, Water Snakes, and low ranking clerics.
20 minutes later, Belsornig is dead, as is everyone in the Water Temple for that matter. A hero's duty is grim work.
C-No takes a while to patch everyone up after this fucking shambles and we move on.
Kelno is very happy. So happy that he drops the act and lets slip his goddess' name: Zuggtmoy. Yes, the same one destroyed in the intro sequence. Kelno offers to take us to Hendrak, the Greater Temple master, but there is no need. Kelno got what he wanted and we got the XP for it. I'm not going to the lower floors until I'm good and fucking ready, for reasons you will soon see.
Romag is also very happy and offers to help us the same way, though he's somewhat more suspicious than fucking Kelno is. Again, no need to go to the Greater Temple yet. I showed you guys its floor (the one with Senshock) previously. We're approaching the final third of the game, and we're going to have to do some more fucking quests, but first, it's time for a detour.
Hidden on B4F, we find Prince Thrommel, who Alrrem was gloating about earlier. In his hand, you can see that magnificent glowing thing he's holding - Thrommel has Fragarach, a ludicrously powerful Bastard Sword that I will explain the full powers of in a bit. We break his stasis and try to help him find his feet.
Poor dude's been here for SIX FUCKING YEARS. He asks us to lead him out, as his Fiance, Lady Jolene, is probably worried sick.
We do so, but not without a detour.
See, Fragarach is virtually the single best weapon in the game that's single-handed barring some very specific builds. Thrommel will not give this up and will not use any other weapon unless it's stronger, which pretty much nothing else is at this point. To get Thrommel's sword, we either have to use a convoluted series of spells, kill him and then revive him after taking the sword, or use a bug to force him to swap items.
If you're doing the Lawful Evil vignette, you have to kill Thrommel and take it. As it stands, Thrommel is one of the best party members for Fragarach alone - his relatively mediocre stats do not detract from how fucking potent this weapon is in his hands. In fact, there's a special ending for having Thrommel in your party when you beat the game, mentioning how useful he is.
But this is a Kiwis only run. And that sword is sadly vital for something we need to do in this run. So eventually, through a series of spells from Shuu, we force Thrommel to relinquish the weapon. It goes right on Jaimas, who frankly makes better use of it.
Thrommel doesn't even seem to notice the loss, and is thankful, promising to thank us when we get to town. He offers to reward us, and for the love of god and all that is holy, fucking accept. If you refuse the reward.... Well, you'll see why that was fucking dumb soon.
About 25 days later, a knight named Lord Grundwell tracks us down on the world map.
Grundwell brings us our rewards:
Thanks to us finding Thrommel, he just got married, solidifying one of the most powerful alliances in the region.
He gives us all a shitload of goodies: Each one potion of Cure Serious Wounds, a Ring of Protection +1, and 2000 Platinum - which is the equivalent of twenty fucking thousand gold.
We are also fucking knighted by the Kingdoms of Veluna and Furyondy. We are now officially minor nobles in both territories.
And the biggest reward of all: The magic sword Scather.
Scather is essentially a twin of Fragarach.
If you refuse the reward, you get none of these. Sometimes greed is good, Kiwis.
So, about Fragarach and Scather then.
Only Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, and Chaotic Neutral alignments can use them.
Scather and Fragarach are major artifacts known as Swords of Answering. They are Anarchic Holy Bastard swords that gain a damage bonus against evil creatures and can do a retaliatory strike if you are hit, hence the name. The Anarchic (Chaos) trait of the two swords can kick in approximately never, since almost nothing in the temple is lawfully-aligned, but the Holy attribute sure as shit will. Additionally, the weapons are Brilliant Energy swords, which means they ignore armor bonuses to AC. On a character like Jaimas or Boldy, this means they will virtually never fucking miss unless they roll abysmally. The downside is that the slashing damage from them won't effect non-living things like constructs or undead, but the alignment effects still can.
The only difference between Scather and Fragarach is their size and color. Fragarach is a standard Bastard Sword and thus can be used with 1 or 2 hands; Scather is large and can only be swung 2-handed. Jaimas gets Fragarach, and Boldy gets Scather. With this, our two melee fighters have their best gear.
As fucking ridiculous as these weapons are - only a few weapons we can find and make come anywhere close - we're actually going to need these fucking things to stand more than a chance against one of the bosses ahead. Interestingly, both Shuu's best weapons are ones she has to create - something true of Smutley's swords as well. With this we're armed for the final third of the game, but the hardest fights are still ahead of us.
Romag is thankful for our assistance and then gives us our third task:
So now both Kelno and Romag want Belsornig dead. Bad combination. Let's meander over to the Water Temple and meet this guy that the other temples are treating like the Rat Kings treat the Kiwi Farms.
Belsornig is bad news. He's paranoid, intelligent, and fucking diabolical. He's been watching us through his agents since we arrived in Hommlet and he has an active finger on every pulse in the region. If shit goes on, he knows about it. He will tell you (approximately) how long you've been in the game world, bring up shit you've already done, and he knows what quests you have active.
He also knows that both Kelno and
Politics make for strange bedfellows. Let's see what's up with Alrrem so we don't have any crossed wires.
In contrast to the jocular Kelno, scheming Belsornig and so-chill-he-has-to-be-high Romag, Alrrem is an absolute fucking nutjob and a strong candidate for the best line delivery in the entire game. He is fucking hilarious. Every single thing he yells is over-the-top ham as if he were trying to actively mutate himself into a Captain Planet villain. Only by either supplicating or threatening to kick his ass can you get anywhere with this assclown.
The Fire
He tasks us with recruiting a Troll named Oohlgrist. God fucking damn it.
This massive shithead is Oohlgrist, and he's the worst sort of dick imaginable for a troll - one that's for sale. He's a genius amongst trolls and is actively playing both Belsornig and Alrrem against one another. Fittingly that the giant green asshole is the smartest motherfucker around. You can actually hire this bastard, and he's one of the strongest NPCs in the entire fucking game, but only if you're evil. He demands a tribute of 1000 Gold for just talking to him, in a sort of genuinely effective version of the Nora Reed Maneuver, unless you sweet-talk him or intimidate his ass.
Oohlgrist is a dick. He'll happily join Belsornig - Belsornig's temple is nascent, and Oohlgrist knows this - but trying to get him to join Alrrem is a maddening endeavor. He turns down Alrrem's offer for Fire resistance and immunity gear, and demands ten thousand fucking gold to join Alrrem's temple. Not even @Smutley's honeyed tongue has any help here.
To the best of my knowledge, there's no way around this, and since Belsornig's quests involve killing Alrrem and killing Romag's jailer, I have no choice but to pay it to get as many quests done as possible. I'd be more pissed about this if I wasn't about to make mad bank from selling everything not nailed down in classic murderhobo fashion. Fuck everything.
Alrrem, selfish prick that he is, then gives me a second mission.
Alrrem's forces now need to be fortified. He wants us to hire him some ogres nearby. Either beat them into unconsciousness or bribe them or intimidate them or convince them diplomatically - he doesn't care. It also opens up the last fast travel location, the Ogre Cave.
The ogres here are easily convinced to join up and Alrrem's second quest is soon complete. Interesting side-note: The domains of the temple clerics are always their chosen element (Fire, Earth, Air, or Water) and the Evil or Chaos domain. This comes up rarely, but if you're fighting Alrrem he will Burning Hands your group, and Kelno will sometimes cast Gaseous Form.
Anyway, back to megalomaniacal asshat land.
Alrrem is very happy. However, the third mission is one that we're not doing. He wants us to find and bring him the Orb of Golden Death. Sorry, asshole, that magic artifact is Kiwi Party property, and if I know anything about anything at this point, it's that giving the golden orb of unfathomable evil power to the single most mentally-unstable person in the entire temple is probably a terrible idea.
What this establishes, by now, is that you can only do, at most, two or three of the temples' quests:
Kelno's third quest demands the deaths of Belsornig or Alrrem
Romag's third quest demands the death of Belsornig
Belsornig's first quest demands Oohlgrist's loyalty
Belsornig's second quest demands the death of Alrrem
Alrrem's first quest demands Oohlgrist's loyalty
Alrrem's third quest demands the Orb of Golden Death
I've been told that if you can meet Alrrem early enough, he gives you an alternate third quest instead, where he asks you to settle an argument between his chief clerics. This would let you accomplish three of the temples' quests, but either way, one or two of these assholes needs to die. Looks like Belsornig got the short straw this playthrough.
Unfortunately for us, that giant statue he has isn't some idol for show. It's a magical construct known as a Juggernaut, and it is a terrifyingly strong enemy capable of crushing lesser foes under its wheels. It has spell resistance, high damage reduction, multiple attacks, and hits like a motherfucker. Even Shuu's mighty magic doesn't help much here; this bastard hangs tough and Belsornig is no pushover either. Worse, the Water Temple is defended by clusters of Gargoyles, Water Snakes, and low ranking clerics.
20 minutes later, Belsornig is dead, as is everyone in the Water Temple for that matter. A hero's duty is grim work.
C-No takes a while to patch everyone up after this fucking shambles and we move on.
Kelno is very happy. So happy that he drops the act and lets slip his goddess' name: Zuggtmoy. Yes, the same one destroyed in the intro sequence. Kelno offers to take us to Hendrak, the Greater Temple master, but there is no need. Kelno got what he wanted and we got the XP for it. I'm not going to the lower floors until I'm good and fucking ready, for reasons you will soon see.
Romag is also very happy and offers to help us the same way, though he's somewhat more suspicious than fucking Kelno is. Again, no need to go to the Greater Temple yet. I showed you guys its floor (the one with Senshock) previously. We're approaching the final third of the game, and we're going to have to do some more fucking quests, but first, it's time for a detour.
Hidden on B4F, we find Prince Thrommel, who Alrrem was gloating about earlier. In his hand, you can see that magnificent glowing thing he's holding - Thrommel has Fragarach, a ludicrously powerful Bastard Sword that I will explain the full powers of in a bit. We break his stasis and try to help him find his feet.
Poor dude's been here for SIX FUCKING YEARS. He asks us to lead him out, as his Fiance, Lady Jolene, is probably worried sick.
We do so, but not without a detour.
See, Fragarach is virtually the single best weapon in the game that's single-handed barring some very specific builds. Thrommel will not give this up and will not use any other weapon unless it's stronger, which pretty much nothing else is at this point. To get Thrommel's sword, we either have to use a convoluted series of spells, kill him and then revive him after taking the sword, or use a bug to force him to swap items.
If you're doing the Lawful Evil vignette, you have to kill Thrommel and take it. As it stands, Thrommel is one of the best party members for Fragarach alone - his relatively mediocre stats do not detract from how fucking potent this weapon is in his hands. In fact, there's a special ending for having Thrommel in your party when you beat the game, mentioning how useful he is.
But this is a Kiwis only run. And that sword is sadly vital for something we need to do in this run. So eventually, through a series of spells from Shuu, we force Thrommel to relinquish the weapon. It goes right on Jaimas, who frankly makes better use of it.
Thrommel doesn't even seem to notice the loss, and is thankful, promising to thank us when we get to town. He offers to reward us, and for the love of god and all that is holy, fucking accept. If you refuse the reward.... Well, you'll see why that was fucking dumb soon.
About 25 days later, a knight named Lord Grundwell tracks us down on the world map.
Grundwell brings us our rewards:
Thanks to us finding Thrommel, he just got married, solidifying one of the most powerful alliances in the region.
He gives us all a shitload of goodies: Each one potion of Cure Serious Wounds, a Ring of Protection +1, and 2000 Platinum - which is the equivalent of twenty fucking thousand gold.
We are also fucking knighted by the Kingdoms of Veluna and Furyondy. We are now officially minor nobles in both territories.
And the biggest reward of all: The magic sword Scather.
Scather is essentially a twin of Fragarach.
If you refuse the reward, you get none of these. Sometimes greed is good, Kiwis.
So, about Fragarach and Scather then.
Only Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, and Chaotic Neutral alignments can use them.
Scather and Fragarach are major artifacts known as Swords of Answering. They are Anarchic Holy Bastard swords that gain a damage bonus against evil creatures and can do a retaliatory strike if you are hit, hence the name. The Anarchic (Chaos) trait of the two swords can kick in approximately never, since almost nothing in the temple is lawfully-aligned, but the Holy attribute sure as shit will. Additionally, the weapons are Brilliant Energy swords, which means they ignore armor bonuses to AC. On a character like Jaimas or Boldy, this means they will virtually never fucking miss unless they roll abysmally. The downside is that the slashing damage from them won't effect non-living things like constructs or undead, but the alignment effects still can.
The only difference between Scather and Fragarach is their size and color. Fragarach is a standard Bastard Sword and thus can be used with 1 or 2 hands; Scather is large and can only be swung 2-handed. Jaimas gets Fragarach, and Boldy gets Scather. With this, our two melee fighters have their best gear.
As fucking ridiculous as these weapons are - only a few weapons we can find and make come anywhere close - we're actually going to need these fucking things to stand more than a chance against one of the bosses ahead. Interestingly, both Shuu's best weapons are ones she has to create - something true of Smutley's swords as well. With this we're armed for the final third of the game, but the hardest fights are still ahead of us.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
With all the gear gained (and knowing what lies next), one can only wonder how much more the temple will throw at you before reaching the heart of it. Will the remaining priest be done in or are any of them such as Kelno live?
Also would make an armored core joke due to what the two swords are but then again, it would fall flat.
Also would make an armored core joke due to what the two swords are but then again, it would fall flat.
So historically, one of my favorite RPGs on PC is Temple of Elemental Evil. One of the last games made by Troika before it broke up, TOEE is essentially this perfect intersection of Fallout 1-2 and Dungeons and Dragons, set in the world of Greyhawk and in one of D&D's best-known settings - dating back to Gygax's time. It uses edition 3.5 rules (basically Pathfinder's forerunner) and pretty much every bit of core content is in the game except for Prestige Classes and such.
The level cap by default is 10, the game is surprisingly well-designed (if a little buggy), and the options quite interesting. with that in mind, and in the fashion of previous Let's Spergs by the group (most notably @c-no, who encouraged me to do this), I decided to make this lovely little Let's Sperg session. Let's Temple of Elemental Evil in the fashion that only a Kiwi (and a veteran besides) can. Like in Fallout, depending on how you work things, you can talk your way through many situations and with dozens of potential endings and options, and shitloads of subquests, there's a lot to do.
Party configuration is straightforward; you first choose a party alignment. This chooses your opening vignette and determines what your party's initial mission that led them to Hommlet (the starting town) is:
Lawful Good: Your party intercedes against a group of bandits attacking a merchant caravan. One of its members asks you to head to the Wainright in Hommlet for a reward.
Neutral Good: You see a murder happen. The murder victim is a priestess of Saint Cuthbert who was assigned to the church in Hommlet. Your party arrives to deliver the bad news.
Chaotic Good: A noblewoman's convoy has gone missing. Your party is working for an elvish delegation and must find what happened to the Princess and her betrothed.
Lawful Neutral: Your party is commissioned by the Mayor of Grayhawk to head to Hommlet and help Burne's Badgers deal with the ongoing problem with the bandits.
True Neutral: You are commissioned to find the Druid Jaroo, in Hommlet, and check in with him, because he has not contacted his seer friend in a very long time and he is worried.
Chaotic Neutral: You find a treasure map leading to a "Rainbow Rock" in Emridy Meadows, near Hommlet.
Lawful Evil: Your party is working for the church of Hextor, the god of Tyranny. You are commissioned to find the sacred sword Fragarach and return it to the temple so it can be destroyed.
Neutral Evil: Your party is a murderous group of assholes who burned down the Church of Saint Cuthbert in the capital. You've gone to Hommlet to finish the job and remove the faith from the region.
Chaotic Evil: Your party is an especially bastardly group of homicidal maniacs. After slaughtering a small town your group comes upon information that someone named Rannos Davl in Hommlet has beaten you to the punch and looted the place. You're here to collect.
The player has little way of knowing this, but TOEE is actually one of those rare occasions where you can get away with playing any alignment you want. Many of the Brigands and Cultists you will fight are murderous psychopaths that have to be put down and all too often, there's precious little morality involved for "kick in the door and kill everyone" gameplay here. You're bashing in the door of a cult devoted to sacrificing to appease a dark god, so there's little moral gray area.
But the game also indulges the player by letting them get as cerebral as they want. A player who's more savvy can (and by all means should) play the varying factions of the titular temple off one another. Dig deeper and there's tons of shit you can do irregardless of your alignment or personal ethics. Whether your team is a group of holy warriors or murderous scumbags, how you play is up to you and very often there's little consequence (though obviously, Paladins will need to be careful to not fuck themselves alignment-wise, which happens by being even more of a murderous shit than usual).
This game is awesome. With this in mind, I've played through dozens of times and know more than a fair bit about it. Intending to do a proper Kiwi Farms playthrough, I assemble a small team of warriors:
Jaimas - My self-insert here is a fighter. Fuck it, I'm not too proud to bite this cheese. I grabbed Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Bastard Sword, Dodge, and Weapon Focus: Bastard Sword. This essentially dictates that my character will start with one. If you're not familiar, Bastard Swords are pretty boss in the game; there's a few reasons this is an ESPECIALLY good choice, but that won't become a thing until way later. Because the level cap in TOEE is 10, Fighters shine beautifully.
@BOLDYSPICY! - Every party needs extra muscle, and I can think of no one better to scream and swing around an axe in a berserk frenzy than Boldy. I grabbed Power Attack and Cleave with her, and made her a Barbarian. Barbarians in the game have the unique ability of Rage, which lets them get a substantial boost to their health and damage but at the cost of their defense. Boldy's entire role is to close with the enemy and fold the screaming sonofabitch in three. Barbarians have weaker armor proficiencies than fighters, but can use all the same weapons and have the best HP totals.
@c-no - C-No had two mandates: That I make him a Gnome, and that he be an interesting character. I rarely run Gnomes in D&D, and was surprised to find that they made solid Clerics. C-No became our group's frontliner; his small size means most medium weapons are two-handed and thus necessitates using a Buckler, and he cannot use larger weapons at all, but he's small, hard to hit, and pretty tough. I made him Lawful Good and set him up as a Cleric of Saint Cuthbert, for reasons I'll get into below. C-No will be essential for upgrades, as you will see later.
@Shuu Iwamine - If I'm including my dear Shuu, then I am doing so with the tacit implication that they are going to be awesome. I made her an Elven Wizard. This lets me max her Dexterity for good defense, and also gives her Elven weapon proficiencies, letting her use Shortbows, Longbows, and Rapiers - meaning unlike many other Wizards, Shuu can do things when she runs out of spells and has actual mobility she can exploit with her ranged weaponry. Like C-No, she'll be responsible for upgrades, too.
@Smutley - We needed a Rogue and Smutley gets shit done. Two Weapon Fighting and Dual Short Swords because fuck Drizzt. Loaded him up with skills. Velvet Rope or barred door, there is not a single barrier that can keep Smutley out. He kind of sucks offensively until about halfway through the game, whereupon he becomes unequivocally the group's biggest source of damage that isn't Shuu for the rest of the game.
Now, about that Cleric thing I mentioned.....
You may not be aware of it, but in Temple of Elemental Evil, as a general rule, the most useful deities are Heironious, Saint Cuthbert, Moradin, Kord, Corellon Larethian, Pelor Garl Glittergold, Wee Jas, Hextor, and Elhonna. There's a reason for this, and it has everything to do with alignment.
See, almost every major deity has the domains of its alignment - and in Temple of Elemental Evil, the Good and Law domains are two of the most powerful you can get if you're willing to create weapons and armor. These two let you create Holy and Axiomatic weapons, which will basically do bonus damage to virtually everything sentient in the actual temple, which, being the home of a Demon cult, predominantly is Chaotic Evil. Heironious, Cuthbert, Moradin, Wee Jas, and Hextor all have the Law domain, and Heironious, Moradin, Kord, Corellon Larethian, Pelor, Garl Glittergold, and Elhonna all have the Good Domain. Though the domain powers are kind of mediocre for these, you want either Law or Good on a character for creating weapons. It helps immeasurably.
The other domain you get should be one of the utility domains. I recommend Healing, Luck, War, or Destruction. Strength, Magic, and Protection are great too.
Also make sure that your character actually follows a god at character creation or they can never be a cleric.
So with this first step, we're going with the Neutral Good vignette, and we're finally getting ready to start this fucking game. Finally. Holy shit.
One of my favs, too. The art is gorgeous, the proper turn-based combat addicting... Nice idea for an LP, too
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You might be thinking of the release back in the 90s. It was done by a small team with no budget and absolutely sucked.
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There actually existed another? Now that might be worthy of an LP if simply to note how shite that is.
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Absolutely not worth your time. It was done by the Pool of Radiance clowns, and that should tell you everything.
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Back in the depths of this hellhole, and we're ready to get shit done.
Back in the lower floors, @Shuu Iwamine and @c-no both show off their area-of-effect damage, blowing up entire scores of Goblins and the like before Jaimas and @BOLDYSPICY! rush forward to block the enemy advance. @Smutley continues his proud effort of murdering priority targets. Life is good, but as you can see, these Hill Giants don't fuck around, doing loads of damage.
Shuu shows off her new Ice Storm spell, which makes an area dangerous to cross for several rounds, and though this isn't capable of hurting the trolls directly, it does knock the idiots unconscious allowing the group to follow up with a fire attack to put an end to them.
The hit parade continues as the group runs into ten fucktons of shadows. C-no kills most of them in a single turning attempt.
These monstrous heavy hitters are some of the biggest assholes in D&D. Known as Leucrottas, they don't just have high attack power and buff spells, but they freely cast Hold Person and if they can get a player stuck with paralysis they follow up with a Coup de Grace - an Instant Kill! Thankfully the team's raw offense saves the day and we keep moving forwards.
A momentary sidetrek to upgrade weapons and C-no now has an ice-imbued repeating crossbow, which makes up for his poor movement speed. Smutley's swords now are shock weapons and do lightning damage, giving us additional raw punch to round out our force group.
Underground, the group encounters a pair of exotic concubines. They look dazed and drugged. You can flirt with them and potentially trigger a fight. The cute gothy one isn't much of a fighter but the other one is here willingly and is a fucking level 10 monk who hits about as hard as Smutley.
A dose of the Dispel Magic spell, cast by Smutley (who used it from a scroll given to him by Shuu) and Paida's back to her senses, a poor Hommlet resident who has been snerding Hedrac's nergles for several months. This will not stand, and the asks us to bring her back to Hommlet. She's level 1 and thus in serious danger.
A short trip later and we're home sweet Hommlet. Next stop, Paida's Husband's.
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I for one cannot wait to see the fight against Hedrack. I'm very sure he's bound to lose to the gnome of the group.
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Had such a thing happened, it could of brought an alignment change or something. Maybe Hedrack walking in and not liking the fact someone is sleeping with his two concubines. What a scenario that would be.
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Yeah, especially if the gnome named after me had done it. IIRC, @Jaimas picked the specific portrait of the gnome due to it being the sort that doesn't give a fuck while messing with his enemies or something like that.
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You can actually try to convince Paida into the sack while she's still charmed but it makes the Curry Leaf lose her shit and paralyzing fist your ass. So does killing Hedrack (the fight with him is coming) and then coming back to chat with these two. Thankfully, you can find a few ways to get your tackle baited in this game, and several NPC quests that even end in a happy marriage (and you being given some quality gear as a dowry). There's also the questionably straight pirate in Nulb.
A humorous one I didn't get to record because the screenshot command wasn't cooperating was one of the townsfolk being utterly dumbstruck by Shuu's beauty and stammering like an idiot until she left the room. There's also a guy that flirted with Boldy after she won a drinking contest and drank an entire room under the table.
It's made by the original Fallout 1-2 team, so this kind of indulgence is to be expected.
He's smoking one of those long-style cigs with what appears to be a "Feels good man" grin on his face.
Of fucking course I was gonna choose that.
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- Feb 3, 2013
In that case, it feels good man just wrecking shit as a gnome. Seriously though, one can only wonder why Curry Leaf loses her shit if you tried to convince Paida. Perhaps she doesn't want any adventurers fiddling with what's considered Hedrack's property. That said though, if you were able to marry npc's that became party members, would they be considered dead weight like Davin and Miria in Fallout 2?