- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
I was gifted kino. Thanks to whoever gifted this 
Secret Santa 2023 Showcase Thread
- Thread starter A Cat in a Minefield
- Start date
-
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soyjersh
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2023
I appreciate the references to ppp, liz dong gone and ab ab rhyming scheme. The implication that santa gives naughty children spaghetti code instead of coal is both terrifying and amusing. Thank you Santa! Merry Christmas!
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2021
It helps to take a break and observe the world around you. Vast, open wilderness.
I got a modern reimagining of King Graham of Daventry now as a powerful independant woman climbing the mountain towards the Ice Kingdom to face Queen Icebella. Cedric is nowhere to be found because the Woman King Graham of Daventry needs no man (nor owl)
I got a modern reimagining of King Graham of Daventry now as a powerful independant woman climbing the mountain towards the Ice Kingdom to face Queen Icebella. Cedric is nowhere to be found because the Woman King Graham of Daventry needs no man (nor owl)
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2022
Huh, I somehow got another gift. Thank you Secret Santa!
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2020
YEEEEEEESSS
FANTASTIC PENSMANSHIP. I love owls so muchhhhhh
Thank you santa. I must have been a very good girl this year to have gotten such a rad gift!!
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2022
Thanks, Satan!
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2023
Lmao I got it
Idk what this is though
The colored blocks on black I think are youtube superchats, but Ive never heard of a blue superchat so I dont know. I dont know what the squiggles are as well.
Idk this, Im guessing its a donation meter cause Ive seen breadtubers and twitch thots have a green meter on their stream overlays. Then again that usually says / something like 300/500 so I dont know.
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2017
Thanks a lot to my Secret Santa! Gave me quite the chuckle and the small little details are also appreciated.
Tide pods are a good touch too - made me feel younger lmao
Tide pods are a good touch too - made me feel younger lmao
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2019
I just wanted to make a personal comment here, not as organiser as @TheCuntler took the lead this year and did a fantastic job as did the selfless SPIRIT BOTS and my fellow helpers. So what I wanted to say is this:
What a really good thing everybody here did. Spread a little joy at the darkest point of the year which is what Christmas is all about. For some people these gifts will be a little extra shine on their day. For others, it'll be something that will make them really touched that someone took all this time and trouble to brighten the season just for them. And all around this is the sort of thing that makes you feel good about mankind because it's people going out of their way for a stranger.
Which makes us less strangers, and more a community. Merry Christmas, one and all.
What a really good thing everybody here did. Spread a little joy at the darkest point of the year which is what Christmas is all about. For some people these gifts will be a little extra shine on their day. For others, it'll be something that will make them really touched that someone took all this time and trouble to brighten the season just for them. And all around this is the sort of thing that makes you feel good about mankind because it's people going out of their way for a stranger.
Which makes us less strangers, and more a community. Merry Christmas, one and all.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Someone made a collab between Dead Space and Berserk, my two favourite pieces of media ever. I appreciate that you made it, my secret Santa. And this is probably the only gift I'm gonna have today, so I'll save it.
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2019
Love this - an actual sonnet. Someone above said the Raven pastiche was "like Shakespeare and pretty sure is in iambic pentameter". No, it was like Poe (also a great poet). THIS one is in Shakespeare style with iambic pentameters.
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2023
Got this coolest gecko guy yesterday. I cannot describe how much I love him and his virtual terrarium 
Thank you so much, fellow kiwi! I've never been SO happy with a virtual gift. May you have a wonderful and happy new year.
Thank you so much, fellow kiwi! I've never been SO happy with a virtual gift. May you have a wonderful and happy new year.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2022
No kidding. This is... wow. Fantastic work, to whoever out there that made it. Juicy, nerdy and just with the right amount of attention to detail, the subjects synergizing with the background aesthetic quite well. Consider me jelly of the artist's skill!
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2017
I just got my second gift-- it's a short dystopian story about being in a nightmare realm where they only feed you celery and beer. Makes sense since I listed that I liked horror stories and disliked celery and beer, but liked peanut butter. I just wanna say that I freaking loved it!! I had a big dumb smile on my face the whole time and I even laughed a few times. I liked that they definitely took heavy inspiration from the epic classic novel 1984 as it appeals to my schizophrenic persecution/martyr fantasies. I don't know if the typos were intentional or not, but it made me feel like I was 15 again and trying to find the worst Creepypastas to laugh at. That's not to say this was a bad story of course. Being force fed celery and beer is very scary. Just that it brought that warm nostalgic feeling into my cold dead heart 
The likes and dislikes I listed:
Your Likes: Dream Theater (and other prog metal bands but I haven't listened to many!), Nu Metal, Eurobeat, city pop, [some] rap music, baking, nature scenes, peanut butter, multiplayer hero shooters (too bad there aren't any good ones), watching crazy people on the internet do their thing, Christianity, horror stories-- wether they're awful or actually good.
Your Dislikes: Beer, celery, soulless content-- whether it's a movie, show, or an internet YTber/streamer--, AI demons, grifters, [most] rap music, VTubers (especially ones that pop up in my recommended results when I'm just looking for some city pop
), trannies and the medical industry that exploits them, the celebration of deviancy, coding.
The likes and dislikes I listed:
Your Likes: Dream Theater (and other prog metal bands but I haven't listened to many!), Nu Metal, Eurobeat, city pop, [some] rap music, baking, nature scenes, peanut butter, multiplayer hero shooters (too bad there aren't any good ones), watching crazy people on the internet do their thing, Christianity, horror stories-- wether they're awful or actually good.
Your Dislikes: Beer, celery, soulless content-- whether it's a movie, show, or an internet YTber/streamer--, AI demons, grifters, [most] rap music, VTubers (especially ones that pop up in my recommended results when I'm just looking for some city pop
), trannies and the medical industry that exploits them, the celebration of deviancy, coding.He woke up, as usual, at 6.30 am. Still half asleep, he took a sip of the water he kept on his bed-side table. He'd already swallowed by the time he realised it tasted rank. The unexpected, horrible taste, immediately made him alert. He looked to his glass and it didn't look like water at all, it was brown and slightly bubbly, like beer. He wasn't an alcohilic who kept booze by his bed, he hated beer, how was it on his night stand?
He lived alone, so there was no way it could be a housemate playing a prank. He got up and went to the tap. To his disgust, the liquid coming out was beige and foamy. He got out the old water filter he'd used about once before stopping bothering, and tried filtering the liquid. It came out brown, so he replaced the filter just in case. Same result, even when filtering the liquid several times. Eventually thirst got the better of him and he took a sip of the filtered liquid. Beer, it was beer.
WHat the fuck was going on? He hated beer. He'd never kept it in the flat. Having it come out of the tap made no sense whatsoever. He tried the shower, that wasn't beer thankfully, so he could at least wash and capture some of that water in a cup for something to drink, and make coffee with. The shower water was rank, stale.
Still, the water could do for coffee, so he put it in the kettle and opened the cupboard. The packet he used when making coffee for the cafetiere read "celery coffee" and every item in there was either a can or bottle of beer, or a product derived from celery. This had to be a dream, there was no way his two most hated things had replaced everything consumable in his flat. But it wasn't a dream, usually once you reliase you're a dream, you start lucid dreaming and have more control over what's happening. So he should have opened the next cupboard to find it full of the foods that had been there last night. No such thing happened.
------------------------------
All this weirdness had made him late for work. He rushed there, slightly dishevelled, but hoping whatever was going on in his flat was a blip and everything would be normal at work.
That hope was almost immediately dashed. He got to his desk, started up his computer, then went to make a coffee in kitchen. More celery coffee. He was also astounded to see the cupboards and fridge full of beer, as he was sure that his contract stated that intoxication by any substance at work was grounds for dismissal. Yet here were his colleagues fetching themselves beers from the fridge, at 8am! There were also various celery snacks, mercifully there was one with peanut butter. He took that so he could eat the peanut butter and leave the celery, and reluctantly took the celery coffee as he was desperately thirsty.
-----------------------------
Back at his desk, he tried to get on with work but his ability to concentrate was severely impacted by the weirdness going on, finding it hard to believe this really wasn't a dream. He went over to one of his close colleagues and asked for a chat. They found a private place and he spilled "What is going on? Did you wake up today to find all your food and drink replaced by celery and beer?" "Ha! Smith you're a funny one, you know the Party has decided this is the best possible nutrition, so is taking care of us by only allowing us to consume celery and beer"
"But isn't consuming alcohol at work grounds for instant dismissal?" "What are you talking about? As well as beer containing many key nutrients, the alcohol helps us remain happy and productive workers."
"You know I hate celery and beer, what as I supposed to eat and drink?" "Smith, never repeat that to anyone, you don't want to be singled out for re-education. Only elite Party members get to consume anything but celery and beer."
-------------------------------
Nelson's demeanour had been completely different to yesterday, and any other day. What was the Party? He was quite apathetic to politics but last he checked there'd been a Conservative government and he was pretty sure no election had taken place. It seemed like he'd woken up in a completely different, but eerily similar, world.
He took more of the celery and peanut butter snacks, and even took a peanut butter stout out of desperation, it had to be better than the celery coffee. He tried to discretely dispose of the celery from the snacks and only eat the peanut butter. He'd never bought the whole "its just water!" line that his mother had used when she tried to convince him to eat it. She'd even tricked him once by claiming celeriac did not taste of celery and giving him celeriac soup.
The peanut butter stout was better than he expected, it did taste of peanut butter.
-------------------------------
He made it through the day, even completed some of his tasks at work, and then went shopping trying to find anything that wasn't celery or beer. All he could find was things that had some additional ingredients with the celery. Some of them the celery was finely cut up, so the taste would permeate all the other ingredients. It dominated every single dish it was included in.
How had he woken up in a world where the only available sustenance was things he hated with a passion?
He got home with the items he'd thought were his best bet, and also tried to filter the water from the shower to make it drinkable. He experienced some success with making it less rank, but it was still barely drinkable. It was like they'd put something in the water tanks that fed the showers for the block he lived in.
---------------------------------
He went about his life, losing weight due to the inability to find anything edible. Discretely, he tried to find other people who were unhappy living in a world where only celery and beer were available for consumption. He'd taken Nelson's advice about not disclosing his hatred of celery and beer, so he would start conversations along the lines of "wouldn't it be nice to maybe have another food available, or water?" or "I wonder why they sell celery snacks with peanut butter, but not peanut butter on its own?"
Most of the responses were dumbfounded, people were grateful that the Party were so caring that they made sure they ate healthily. The extra ingredients included in some dishes were a kindness so that they could enjoy some variety. If they sold peanut butter on its own, people might get overweight.
Some, though, agreed that it would be nice to be trusted to look after their own nutrition. Others were concerned that their limited diet resulted in them missing out on essential micronutrients.They made a small group and convened at Smith's flat. They tried to figure out how to make the shower water drinkable, where they might get seeds to grow other food, and where they could grow them.
----------------------------------
One day, on his way into the office, a man in a smart black suit, flanked by two bodyguards, approached him. "You need to come with me." "What is this about?" "Come with me, you'll find out at the interview." The two bodyguards were suddenly on either side of him, holding both his arms in a lock, and pushing him towards an expensive looking car with blacked out windows. Smith considered shouting out, but suspected it would not work to his benefit. He allowed them to get him into the car, and apply the restraints in the back of the car.
The men went into the front compartment, separated by glass, and a gas filled his compartment. He was unconscious almost immediately.
----------------------------------
He awoke in a bright white room, chained to a desk. He blinked a few times, he felt very stiff but was unable to move due to his restraints.
"You stand accused of working against the health of the people" "What do you mean?" "You have been manipulating people to prepare food not authorised by the Party" "I haven't manipulated anyone!!" "Further, you stand accused of arousing discontent with your suggestions that other foods should be available" "What's wrong with that? That isn't a crime!" "According to the 'Health of the Nation' law clause 1984, sub clause h) 1, it is a crime punishable by reeducation"
"How can you reeducate someone to like foods they hate?" "So you admit to hating celery and beer" Oh no, he'd laid a trap for himself. "I've tried to like them, I like the peanut butter stout OK, and sometimes I can take a bite of the celery when I take one of the celery and peanut butter snack."
He realised he'd dug himself into a hole. He shouldn't have said anything to these people. "You are further accused of tampering with shower water to turn it into a nutritionless drink, when beer is the most nutritious drink." Smith said nothing. "You have also hosted unauthorised gatherings of more than three people."
Smith zoned out as the further charges were announced. Eventually there was a long pause, "Your punishment is imprisonment until reeducation is complete."
-----------------------------------
Smith was taken out of the room into a featureless cell with nothing but a blanket, a bench, a sink, and a toilet.
His days became monotonous. Every morning, the gas they used to make him sleep wore off, he was taken to a room where his head was rigged up to a device that pinned his mouth open. It was extremely uncomfortable, there were hooks at every angle of his mouth and if he moved they dug into his gums. They had a clip on his nose, so they could force his nostrils closed. They force fed him celery and beer while showing videos of obese people, underweight people, people with kwashiorkor, scury, rickets, and goitres. There were also graphic videos of autopsies of people who had died due to poor nutrition. Educational videos about the nutritional benefits of celery and beer were shown.
If he refused to swallow the food that the contraption on his head had forced him to chew, they closed his mouth and used the clip on his nose to close his nostrils. They would only allow him to breathe again if he swallowed.
His mouth became scarred, every day the wounds from the previous days were reopened every day. He stopped struggling very quickly, it hurt too much. Sometimes they applied antibiotic strips to the wounds in his mouth to prevent infection while they continued damaging it.
He didn't understand how this was supposed to reeducate him. He'd just woken up one day in a totally different world, but they wouldn't allow him to explain, they put him on strong antipsychotics instead. He knew it had been weeks any his stance hadn't changed at all. Or he had, he knew barely anything about the Party, but he hated them.
Eventually, realising he could never get out of this world, he just refused to swallow. He didn't know if they would allow him to die or if attempting suicide by suffocating would lead to further, worse, punishments. At this point, he didn't care. Eventually he lost consciousness and some of the chewed food ended up in his airways as he reflixively tried to breathe. They did not re-open his airways, instead they let him die, then threw his body in the pit with the others who refused reeducation.
He lived alone, so there was no way it could be a housemate playing a prank. He got up and went to the tap. To his disgust, the liquid coming out was beige and foamy. He got out the old water filter he'd used about once before stopping bothering, and tried filtering the liquid. It came out brown, so he replaced the filter just in case. Same result, even when filtering the liquid several times. Eventually thirst got the better of him and he took a sip of the filtered liquid. Beer, it was beer.
WHat the fuck was going on? He hated beer. He'd never kept it in the flat. Having it come out of the tap made no sense whatsoever. He tried the shower, that wasn't beer thankfully, so he could at least wash and capture some of that water in a cup for something to drink, and make coffee with. The shower water was rank, stale.
Still, the water could do for coffee, so he put it in the kettle and opened the cupboard. The packet he used when making coffee for the cafetiere read "celery coffee" and every item in there was either a can or bottle of beer, or a product derived from celery. This had to be a dream, there was no way his two most hated things had replaced everything consumable in his flat. But it wasn't a dream, usually once you reliase you're a dream, you start lucid dreaming and have more control over what's happening. So he should have opened the next cupboard to find it full of the foods that had been there last night. No such thing happened.
------------------------------
All this weirdness had made him late for work. He rushed there, slightly dishevelled, but hoping whatever was going on in his flat was a blip and everything would be normal at work.
That hope was almost immediately dashed. He got to his desk, started up his computer, then went to make a coffee in kitchen. More celery coffee. He was also astounded to see the cupboards and fridge full of beer, as he was sure that his contract stated that intoxication by any substance at work was grounds for dismissal. Yet here were his colleagues fetching themselves beers from the fridge, at 8am! There were also various celery snacks, mercifully there was one with peanut butter. He took that so he could eat the peanut butter and leave the celery, and reluctantly took the celery coffee as he was desperately thirsty.
-----------------------------
Back at his desk, he tried to get on with work but his ability to concentrate was severely impacted by the weirdness going on, finding it hard to believe this really wasn't a dream. He went over to one of his close colleagues and asked for a chat. They found a private place and he spilled "What is going on? Did you wake up today to find all your food and drink replaced by celery and beer?" "Ha! Smith you're a funny one, you know the Party has decided this is the best possible nutrition, so is taking care of us by only allowing us to consume celery and beer"
"But isn't consuming alcohol at work grounds for instant dismissal?" "What are you talking about? As well as beer containing many key nutrients, the alcohol helps us remain happy and productive workers."
"You know I hate celery and beer, what as I supposed to eat and drink?" "Smith, never repeat that to anyone, you don't want to be singled out for re-education. Only elite Party members get to consume anything but celery and beer."
-------------------------------
Nelson's demeanour had been completely different to yesterday, and any other day. What was the Party? He was quite apathetic to politics but last he checked there'd been a Conservative government and he was pretty sure no election had taken place. It seemed like he'd woken up in a completely different, but eerily similar, world.
He took more of the celery and peanut butter snacks, and even took a peanut butter stout out of desperation, it had to be better than the celery coffee. He tried to discretely dispose of the celery from the snacks and only eat the peanut butter. He'd never bought the whole "its just water!" line that his mother had used when she tried to convince him to eat it. She'd even tricked him once by claiming celeriac did not taste of celery and giving him celeriac soup.
The peanut butter stout was better than he expected, it did taste of peanut butter.
-------------------------------
He made it through the day, even completed some of his tasks at work, and then went shopping trying to find anything that wasn't celery or beer. All he could find was things that had some additional ingredients with the celery. Some of them the celery was finely cut up, so the taste would permeate all the other ingredients. It dominated every single dish it was included in.
How had he woken up in a world where the only available sustenance was things he hated with a passion?
He got home with the items he'd thought were his best bet, and also tried to filter the water from the shower to make it drinkable. He experienced some success with making it less rank, but it was still barely drinkable. It was like they'd put something in the water tanks that fed the showers for the block he lived in.
---------------------------------
He went about his life, losing weight due to the inability to find anything edible. Discretely, he tried to find other people who were unhappy living in a world where only celery and beer were available for consumption. He'd taken Nelson's advice about not disclosing his hatred of celery and beer, so he would start conversations along the lines of "wouldn't it be nice to maybe have another food available, or water?" or "I wonder why they sell celery snacks with peanut butter, but not peanut butter on its own?"
Most of the responses were dumbfounded, people were grateful that the Party were so caring that they made sure they ate healthily. The extra ingredients included in some dishes were a kindness so that they could enjoy some variety. If they sold peanut butter on its own, people might get overweight.
Some, though, agreed that it would be nice to be trusted to look after their own nutrition. Others were concerned that their limited diet resulted in them missing out on essential micronutrients.They made a small group and convened at Smith's flat. They tried to figure out how to make the shower water drinkable, where they might get seeds to grow other food, and where they could grow them.
----------------------------------
One day, on his way into the office, a man in a smart black suit, flanked by two bodyguards, approached him. "You need to come with me." "What is this about?" "Come with me, you'll find out at the interview." The two bodyguards were suddenly on either side of him, holding both his arms in a lock, and pushing him towards an expensive looking car with blacked out windows. Smith considered shouting out, but suspected it would not work to his benefit. He allowed them to get him into the car, and apply the restraints in the back of the car.
The men went into the front compartment, separated by glass, and a gas filled his compartment. He was unconscious almost immediately.
----------------------------------
He awoke in a bright white room, chained to a desk. He blinked a few times, he felt very stiff but was unable to move due to his restraints.
"You stand accused of working against the health of the people" "What do you mean?" "You have been manipulating people to prepare food not authorised by the Party" "I haven't manipulated anyone!!" "Further, you stand accused of arousing discontent with your suggestions that other foods should be available" "What's wrong with that? That isn't a crime!" "According to the 'Health of the Nation' law clause 1984, sub clause h) 1, it is a crime punishable by reeducation"
"How can you reeducate someone to like foods they hate?" "So you admit to hating celery and beer" Oh no, he'd laid a trap for himself. "I've tried to like them, I like the peanut butter stout OK, and sometimes I can take a bite of the celery when I take one of the celery and peanut butter snack."
He realised he'd dug himself into a hole. He shouldn't have said anything to these people. "You are further accused of tampering with shower water to turn it into a nutritionless drink, when beer is the most nutritious drink." Smith said nothing. "You have also hosted unauthorised gatherings of more than three people."
Smith zoned out as the further charges were announced. Eventually there was a long pause, "Your punishment is imprisonment until reeducation is complete."
-----------------------------------
Smith was taken out of the room into a featureless cell with nothing but a blanket, a bench, a sink, and a toilet.
His days became monotonous. Every morning, the gas they used to make him sleep wore off, he was taken to a room where his head was rigged up to a device that pinned his mouth open. It was extremely uncomfortable, there were hooks at every angle of his mouth and if he moved they dug into his gums. They had a clip on his nose, so they could force his nostrils closed. They force fed him celery and beer while showing videos of obese people, underweight people, people with kwashiorkor, scury, rickets, and goitres. There were also graphic videos of autopsies of people who had died due to poor nutrition. Educational videos about the nutritional benefits of celery and beer were shown.
If he refused to swallow the food that the contraption on his head had forced him to chew, they closed his mouth and used the clip on his nose to close his nostrils. They would only allow him to breathe again if he swallowed.
His mouth became scarred, every day the wounds from the previous days were reopened every day. He stopped struggling very quickly, it hurt too much. Sometimes they applied antibiotic strips to the wounds in his mouth to prevent infection while they continued damaging it.
He didn't understand how this was supposed to reeducate him. He'd just woken up one day in a totally different world, but they wouldn't allow him to explain, they put him on strong antipsychotics instead. He knew it had been weeks any his stance hadn't changed at all. Or he had, he knew barely anything about the Party, but he hated them.
Eventually, realising he could never get out of this world, he just refused to swallow. He didn't know if they would allow him to die or if attempting suicide by suffocating would lead to further, worse, punishments. At this point, he didn't care. Eventually he lost consciousness and some of the chewed food ended up in his airways as he reflixively tried to breathe. They did not re-open his airways, instead they let him die, then threw his body in the pit with the others who refused reeducation.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
Thanks frens, maybe next year I'll try to participate if less is going on
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
I fucking love it, Merry Christmas!
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
I got the coolest gift!
It's six fun minigames with a bunch of references, you went above and beyond with this! Thank you Secret Santa! (@Gatdam Animal Person)
There's no way I cannot share the complete file, hopefully my connection is good enough to upload here.
Now everyone can play them. I gave it some runs, got a PB of 50 points, the most difficult for me when it speeds up is the Terry minigame.
@Gatdam Animal Person
I really appreciate this so much, hope you have the best Christmas.
It's six fun minigames with a bunch of references, you went above and beyond with this! Thank you Secret Santa! (@Gatdam Animal Person)
There's no way I cannot share the complete file, hopefully my connection is good enough to upload here.
Now everyone can play them. I gave it some runs, got a PB of 50 points, the most difficult for me when it speeds up is the Terry minigame.
@Gatdam Animal Person
I really appreciate this so much, hope you have the best Christmas.
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2022
I don't entirely understand how I got another gift, but I am thankful nonetheless! Thank you so much Secret Santa! I have no idea who you are but this is awesome!
I see a rat, a crack pipe, some juice, lots of 7s, a very long-necked Kiwi, and a few other faces... I feel like there's more to it and I'm missing something. The longer I stare at it the more I am intrigued.
I see a rat, a crack pipe, some juice, lots of 7s, a very long-necked Kiwi, and a few other faces... I feel like there's more to it and I'm missing something. The longer I stare at it the more I am intrigued.
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2020
I got this really cool pixel art from my secret santa. They apparently wanted it to be perfect, so I received an updated version of it, and this is the updated one. I love how everything is arranged by color and that it even has shiny Pokemon in it to help with the color palette. This looks like it took forever to make. Whoever my secret santa was, thank you so much and I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
