Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Fapcop]

Yeah I once had a really terrible time and was super terrified once. Idk just random anxiety shit

Both alcohol and weed are depressants.

Yeah, you get the occasional genius who swears they become much more productive on weed or whatever.

It’s probably more of a justification they have for themselves, but even if true, the vast majority of us get demotivated and either too mellow or too anxious on it.

Alcohol is shit for your mental health too, and you’re fucked if you ever get addicted to it.

I’d take being addicted to smack over alcohol. Not just because alcohol is so bad for you physically, but it’s also a drug that’s everywhere and socially accepted.

You do you, as you have demonstrated numerous times. But I’ll bet a lot of your issues would either go away or don’t appear to be massive hurdles if you laid off the booze and the weed for a few weeks.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

You do you, as you have demonstrated numerous times. But I’ll bet a lot of your issues would either go away or don’t appear to be massive hurdles if you laid off the booze and the weed for a few weeks.

I know, but I'm just such a pathetic failure

 

[56 others]

I know, but I'm just such a pathetic failure

then stop fucking failing

 

[A Crying Goblin]

then stop fucking failing

Yeah.

 

[Señora Airi]

I'm more introverted, so I hate asking people out. I have become friends with some women, but when I've wanted to go further with them and ask if they wanted to date, they've given me the "let's stay friends" spiel and then never talk to me (outside of one who I still talk to, to this day).

I've been in relationships before (they were the ones asking me out), but due to inexperience dating there, I felt like I fumbled the whole thing.

What can I do to better myself?

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

I'd say it's less of me begging women to give me life advice.. and more just me throwing all these emotions and random shit out there. Just into the big void where people can see it? Why? I dunno. Not everything you do needs to have a meaning. I appreciate all the advice and empathy I have been given. I can see you are good people. And I thank you all for that. But I'm a little too far gone for this stuff. I already knew that though. Yes you can say "You're only 22, blah blah" You don't know the things I've done, gotten into, and the shit I've already committed. I'm far beyond the point of redemption.

Did you know some artists didn't start painting until they were 40 and still somehow became famous? Did you know some people lived a lie by being in the closet well into their children becoming adults, figuring it out, talking it out, and then having the realization they weren't happy because they were gay- at 40? (Not saying you are, it's an example)
In my college, I had a 60 year old dentist as a classmate in metal smithing, and a 70 year old in a geology course. Their reasons for being there? "It's something I've always wanted to learn, and it's never too late to start now."

If you've given up, fine. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to better yourself, also fine. But don't you dare insult the beauty that is your humanity and time saying "it's too late". It's never too late, you're choosing to give in to depression and laying down to die.
I'm angry and sad both at and for you, because I've been in that darkenss before, it's heavy, you feel like there's no chance, you can't see a light, it's over... but you're choosing to lay down under a very thin black out blanket that blocks that light. It's there, those chances and oppertunities are, have been, and will always be there.
Admitting you're a coward is more admirable than hiding behind an excuse.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

I'm more introverted, so I hate asking people out. I have become friends with some women, but when I've wanted to go further with them and ask if they wanted to date, they've given me the "let's stay friends" spiel and then never talk to me (outside of one who I still talk to, to this day).

I've been in relationships before (they were the ones asking me out), but due to inexperience dating there, I felt like I fumbled the whole thing.

What can I do to better myself?

These are all very good questions! Where do you think you've fumbled?
Many times, it's that there isn't an attraction or it's too soon. It's honestly better to build a friendship and then ask the person out, but don't start the friendship based on eventually asking them out.
Women can usually somewhat tell if you're actually interested in the same things or chasing tail.
I will say that this happens to women too, it's a numbers game and it feels like everybody expects something opposite to you, or it's perfect except they aren't into you or you aren't into them.
And hey, use your introversion to your advantage! Go to places other introverts are more likely to be like game stores or book stores! If you get too anxious, just step back, take a deep breath, and try again later if it doesn't feel successful. It's good to push yourself! Just don't push so hard that it traumatizes you. Even introverts need a break from being social sometimes! So try not to feel too self conscious with yourself for being shy.

 

[Señora Airi]

These are all very good questions! Where do you think you've fumbled?
Many times, it's that there isn't an attraction or it's too soon.

Yeah, you're right about that. I think it's when I do ask them out. I get anxious around asking to be in a relationship. Cause I feel normal and fine when I become friends with women, I guess I feel there's less expectations or something.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

Since this got a little dark and heavy, lets go to some more lighthearted/fun subjects. A thing I've been dying to ask since I've joined but never had the chance because of all the other shit took hold.. Something I noticed way early in the thread. Hobbies.

What hobbies do girls REALLY find off-putting? I've saw some listed here that I'm big into. I wanna know some input on that.

 

[suspended animation]

What hobbies do girls REALLY find off-putting

Men pretending to be someone they are not. (Like trannies)

 

[CoolFool]

I'm more introverted, so I hate asking people out. I have become friends with some women, but when I've wanted to go further with them and ask if they wanted to date, they've given me the "let's stay friends" spiel and then never talk to me (outside of one who I still talk to, to this day).

I've been in relationships before (they were the ones asking me out), but due to inexperience dating there, I felt like I fumbled the whole thing.

What can I do to better myself?

I'm not joking, go out on dates with women you don't really find attractive or care about. If you're on a dating app and some woman likes you but you don't like her, don't dismiss her, instead, go out with her anyways. I'm not saying be a dick to these women, you should still act polite and be respectful. But by going out with women you don't really find attractive, you're not so intimidated by them yet you're still getting social skills and learning how to talk with women, which in turn will teach you to not find them so scary.

 

[Johnny Salami]

Speaking of eating pussy, my first girlfriend from high school ended up claiming she was bisexual after our break up and got in a long term relationship with another girl and I'm pretty sure she's still with her. Everytime I think about her new gf eating her out I think about her tasting me. That turns me on for some reason.

It's honestly better to build a friendship and then ask the person out, but don't start the friendship based on eventually asking them out.
Women can usually somewhat tell if you're actually interested in the same things or chasing tail.
I will say that this happens to women too, it's a numbers game and it feels like everybody expects something opposite to you, or it's perfect except they aren't into you or you aren't into them.

I have become friends with some women, but when I've wanted to go further with them and ask if they wanted to date, they've given me the "let's stay friends" spiel and then never talk to me (outside of one who I still talk to, to this day).

In my experience a lot of girls like having side guys either to emotionally dump on them (since they know many guys wouldn't put up with it) or to have a back up plan. I believe it's better to ask a girl out without being friends first that way you don't lose a friend

I'm not joking, go out on dates with women you don't really find attractive or care about. If you're on a dating app and some woman likes you but you don't like her, don't dismiss her, instead, go out with her anyways. I'm not saying be a dick to these women, you should still act polite and be respectful. But by going out with women you don't really find attractive, you're not so intimidated by them yet you're still getting social skills and learning how to talk with women, which in turn will teach you to not find them so scary.

This is good advice. And as long as you don't find a girl repulsive, a man can learn to like a girl for her personality and chatacter.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

In my experience a lot of girls like having side guys either to emotionally dump on them (since they know many guys wouldn't put up with it) or to have a back up plan. I believe it's better to ask a girl out without being friends first that way you don't lose a friend

You know some really toxic bitches my guy, lmao. All the successful marriages I've known (including mine) started as friends only first. All the divorced people I knew didn't have that foundation.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

You know some really toxic bitches my guy, lmao. All the successful marriages I've known (including mine) started as friends only first. All the divorced people I knew didn't have that foundation.

It's easy for some men to only know toxic bitches these days. Especially if they're terminally online.

 

[Señora Airi]

You know some really toxic bitches my guy, lmao. All the successful marriages I've known (including mine) started as friends only first. All the divorced people I knew didn't have that foundation.

Eh I think that part all comes down to who you allow to be your friends vs just being aquaintences/barely interact with.

 

[NoReturn]

What hobbies do girls REALLY find off-putting? I've saw some listed here that I'm big into. I wanna know some input on that.

Anything porn-related (and this goes for women, too) or goony.
If your hobby is something like consuming hentai, collecting dildos, etc. it's nasty.

 

[AgendaPoster]

So class
Which lessons have you learned from these discussions?
Are there more video, musical guides required? I hope not cause I can't get you folX to watch even 5 mins of content.

 

[Fapcop]

What hobbies do girls REALLY find off-putting? I've saw some listed here that I'm big into. I wanna know some input on that.

I think anything that takes some skill and shows some depth is automatically at least a plus.

(Correct me if I’m wrong though.)

Anyways, I’ve been into model kits lately, and occasionally bring them to work to paint, craft etc.

For some reason women, whether coworkers or business/customers often stop by to look at them, ask questions and in general act enthusiastic about them.

(Some of this is obviously just politeness, but still.)

Anyways but seems like any (non porn related) hobby would work.

 

[DavidS877]

So class
Which lessons have you learned from these discussions?
Are there more vide, musical guides required? I hope not cause I can't get you folX to watch even 5 mins of content.

I'm better off talking to the squirrels in my yard than women.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

I'm not joking, go out on dates with women you don't really find attractive or care about. If you're on a dating app and some woman likes you but you don't like her, don't dismiss her, instead, go out with her anyways. I'm not saying be a dick to these women, you should still act polite and be respectful. But by going out with women you don't really find attractive, you're not so intimidated by them yet you're still getting social skills and learning how to talk with women, which in turn will teach you to not find them so scary.

This doesn't work for me because attractiveness is kind of irrelevant in terms of social interaction for me. The fact that I'm talking to a woman, regardless if I find her hot or not is enough to cause anxiety and make me fumble and fuck up. I got anxious and awkward talking to my own family members I've known my entire life so talking to a girl, even if she's obese is enough to freak me out.