Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[IslamaGato]

Getting my sober January prediction in before I forget it.

I bet he actually can do the whole month without drinking. He will be visibly miserable the whole time and not reconcile with anyone. After the month is over he will proclaim Total Balldo Victory, boast to everyone about how not alcoholic he is, then hit the bottle even harder in February.

 

[Unknown Recipient #12]

He's doing this just so he can say "I told you I don't have a problem!" which would give him a Golden Ticket to drink as much as he wants for the rest of the year.

My prediction is that he will not drink on camera but will binge offline. The tell is that there will be fewer streams than usual. He can't bear doing them sober.

 

[GeeWilickers47]

My bets for Sober January is that he'll either just drink heavily off-stream and when he does bother to show up and stream, he'll be more visibly sloshed than usual OR he'll be too lazy and retarded for even that, and we'll be getting a lot more "family emergencies" in January and Mr. Non-Practicing Lawyer will miss a lot more streams than he already does.

 

[Strix454]

Isn't he supposed to be Catholic? Wouldn't Lent be a better time to do this sort of thing and much easier for an alcoholic like him since he would have his entire religious community there for support?

He was brought into some sort of local religious social group not too long ago. His reaction was that it was impossible for those subhuman scandinavian prudes & "monsters" (his word) to relate to a famous youtuber like Nick or the life he leads. Nick generally fights against any effort to get him support by claiming that other people cannot possibly function at his level or relate to his life.

It may have been an attempt at an intervention. Nick was certainly angry in the aftermath for it to have been.

His parents were catholic, but he isn't. As best its understood he and the family gave up attending church during Covid. His homeschooling group seems protestant and is perhaps his only remaining tie to religion. One that he can't easily break. His religious views are such that I would at best consider him nominally christian.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

This white nigger cannot commit to the simplest of promises, like saying he will stream the next day, and then actually doing it, or not driving his kid while still drunk. There's no way this sober January shit is anything other than a momentary lark, in part driven by a particularly strong hangover the other day.

Also interesting, no Rumble contract. He supposedly was going to go to Florida in January, after his contract lapsed, to renegotiate (from a strong position of having allowed a contract to lapse). Now he's not traveling until after February? Or is the sober up to make good for Rumble?

What a disaster.

 

[AnOminous]

My bets for Sober January is that he'll either just drink heavily off-stream and when he does bother to show up and stream, he'll be more visibly sloshed than usual OR he'll be too lazy and retarded for even that, and we'll be getting a lot more "family emergencies" in January and Mr. Non-Practicing Lawyer will miss a lot more streams than he already does.

Fewer streams with more slurred whining pussy rants about how he has to drive his fucking shitty, evil kids he hates around 26 hours a day and wake up half an hour before he went to bed to do it.

 

[zimzam88]

Balldo will get through half a show and be itching and twitching and shaking like a leaf for a drink. No way he makes it a month sober. He'll get plastered pre or post-stream and pretend like he's been sober 24/7.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

If ever there was a time for a Thread Poll to be put up this would be it. Here's the options I could think of in my Coof addled state.

How will Nick's Sober January go?
1. Nick will conveniently forget he considered a sober January and never mention it again.
2. Nick will make it a week before giving in and blame the shows being lame for drinking again.
3. Nick will against all odds and medical advice manage to live through January without a tipple to his name.
4. Nick will lie about his sobriety while missing streams and showing up visibly sloshed to several others.
5. Nick will ascend to a higher level of degeneracy and spontaneously BECOME THE BALLDO because of his newfound sobriety.

 

[SanicBlackMagic]

So, he’s going to the vodka soaked tampon up the ass trick?

More likely a balldo-assisted reverse catheter.

Good fucking luck getting sober now Nick. I'm rooting for ya pal!

 

[Harm]

So a small youtuber tweeted that he is at 708 subs, 292 away from 1k and tagged a bunch of other ytbers for help, including the lawpope himself. Nick then blessed him with an endorsement. Branca obliged and one of Nick's fans says he'll get that 1k sub in about 1 hour 27 mins cause the lawpope decreed it. 2 hours + later, the dude is now at 741 subs. Nick Rekieta, our social media giga expert, summoned his strength and he got a small ytber 33 extra subs. Such a display of power!

View attachment 5594824View attachment 5594829View attachment 5594830

Wanted to check in on this and saw that Nick's tweet has reached over 12,000 impressions after a little bit over 24 hours. The Youtube account has now hit 750 subscribers, or 42 new subs since their initial tweet. Assuming all 42 subscriptions came from this one tweet, that's a conversion rate of 0.35% for something that's absolutely free of charge.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

I'll go back through the thread and make a spreadsheet of all the bets. This could be fun.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

He has had streams in the past little while where he says he won't drink, he gets a toast super chat, and then starts drinking fully throughout the stream. I expect that's what will happen, he will use the toasts as an excuse to drink.

 

[Chibitzen]

He was brought into some sort of local religious social group not too long ago. His reaction was that it was impossible for those subhuman scandinavian prudes & "monsters" (his word) to relate to a famous youtuber like Nick or the life he leads. Nick generally fights against any effort to get him support by claiming that other people cannot possibly function at his level or relate to his life.

God forbid he try to relate to other people.

His parents were catholic, but he isn't. As best its understood he and the family gave up attending church during Covid.

Good, no telling what those monster people are carrying. They're not even Balldo-baptized. How do they keep their thoughts pure and clean without one?

 

[Anticipointment]

He was only IRONICALLY sodomizing his wife with his balls in a weird cuck cage while his limp penis flopped around uselessly.

Because it was FUNNY! If you don’t find the humor in that, you’re probably an incel, a prude or a hater of having fun.

Oh and with his Provigil intake

He mentioned that when talking with Ty & said he very rarely takes it, & brought up day trial streaming as an example of a time when he might have had to take it. Then when a certain possible upcoming trial was mentioned (forgot which) he said he’d definitely clear his schedule to day stream that. Not sure how taking that drug would do as a substitute for not drinking but what are the chances he’d decide on day streaming rather than night shows in order to have an excuse to pop pills during the day & then not have to worry about doing sober night streams?

Or he will say not drinking doesn’t align with the audience’s wishes for the night stream since they enjoy fun & toasts so it’s literally his job to drink.

 

[Chibitzen]

I'll go back through the thread and make a spreadsheet of all the bets. This could be fun.

I predicted-ish he would do a sober January, in a sense. I said I could see him taking criticism with more sincerity but the reality is I just felt like getting hammered by rainbows. (Not in a drunken or pervy way, Nick, you shit).

I even said maybe he'd get a schedule!

Add it in there because it'll be funny if he follows that somehow to the T, but in the most weasel-y technical way he can instead of just doing something actually right.

Prayers for his family because they will have to tolerate a more neurotic Nick obsessing about looking well-adjusted while allegedly not giving a damn about trolls.

 

[mindlessobserver]

He is going for a sober January. TAKING ALL BETS

He'll just do what all Alcoholics do when nagged to death about their drinking. Sneak the booze when nobody is looking.

 

[3MMA]

The Non-Practicing Lawyer class comes with the ability to powerstance two balldoes which gives +15 points to your homosexuality stat.

This facial hair didn’t do Lick any heterosexual favors.

Non Practicing Lawyer class must roll a 20 sided die anytime he initiates contact with anyone, outside of current party members. If the roll is under 12, NPL will try to get the NPC to equip balldo armor. Note that all balldo armor, be it the mithril, ice, or gigas balldo, carry a -5 penalty to save rolls, & plan accordingly.

 

[Neetorino]

Get ready for the coke can boys!

I hate that I know what this means, do they make cans of Whiskey and such? I've never thought to check. I guess he could just fill a can up after emptying it but having to do that sounds way more tedious than just making a sleeve for other cans. Maybe we'll get Nick's PBR arc as he switches off bottles. I just feel bad for all the Bulls once Nick's oral skills worsen.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I hate that I know what this means, do they make cans of Whiskey and such? I've never thought to check. I guess he could just fill a can up after emptying it but having to do that sounds way more tedious than just making a sleeve for other cans. Maybe we'll get Nick's PBR arc as he switches off bottles. I just feel bad for all the Bulls once Nick's oral skills worsen.

Well the Ralphamale would just fill the same coke can over and over again, although now that I think of it he used a plastic coke bottle a lot. Rackets might choose a classier option though.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

Well the Ralphamale would just fill the same coke can over and over again, although now that I think of it he used a plastic coke bottle a lot. Rackets might choose a classier option though.

Is there a squirting balldo?