Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Catgirl Tyranid]

I'll go back through the thread and make a spreadsheet of all the bets. This could be fun.

For the spreadsheet, my prediction is he tries for a week or less and gives up citing streams being boring after missing one stream for an "emergency trip" to the city.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

We'll have way less streams in January because he'll be traveling to renew his rumble contract. He needs to sober up to not appear sloshed at rumble's gates and he'll be too miserable to stream in his detox efforts. He will get the contract renewed and then have a drink to celebrate. : story:

 

[waffle]

I'm leaning slightly towards him white-knuckeling a month, possibly with lots of weed and pills, and then using it as a excuse to binge the rest of the year.

The other strong contender is him just never starting

 

[Spaded Dave]

Toss my vote in for the "He will drink off-screen and just lie about it" team. But there are many strong contenders as waffle has pointed out.

 

[WEEKEND]

Nick doesn't get to spend 1 month dry (assuming he can pull it off) and then spend next 11 black out every night and claim a victory. He's still an alcoholic. The question of sobriety only exists for alcoholics in the first place as most normal people are spend most of their month sober. Then you've got all the other shit he could take like pills which brings us back to square 1 on the whole sober month thing.

 

[holyhandgrenade]

If he does actually manage to make it through the month the combo of provigil and coke will give him a heart attack pretty fuckin quick. I'm betting hospital arc as my serious vote and Domestic Violence charges as my outside shot.

 

[3MMA]

Whoever wrote his intro song should be extremely embarrassed too.

It's as if you’re reading my mind. It’s sofa king gay.

This led to the formation of an intensely parasocial relationship between Nick and his Fans. One even wrote a song about him that projected all their beliefs into what he represented into one 3 minute guitar ballad.

Direct link: https://youtube.com/watch?v=iVcfs_GoVHc&t=2

Spoiler: Lyrics

Lyrics

Oh he drinks a fair bit
but you realize that
it just helps get his noggin a joggin along
with his glass by his side
and his kids asleep tight
we will hear some lawsplaining tonight

With his microphone muted
we'll laugh at this boomer
until he explains that it part of the plan
watch his face become redder as
he becomes madder
raging at idiots
from twit and er land

From the white shores of Nairn
to the Hills of Glenlivet
There's noone who splains the law
better than nick
So pour out a glass
for the ones who have passed
to make the law what we have now

Oh his lady is fair
and she handles herself
with the grace of one who'se
born many children
as the wife of a law man
she makes sure that he has
the time and place to
provide for them there

So pour out an Ardbeg
a bowmore or laphroig
The spirits flow as the ones sued
get unemployed
So pour out a glass
for the deposed on Twitter
As we hear lawspaining Tonight
From the white shores of Nairn
to the Hills of Glenlivet
There's noone who splains the law
better than nick
So pour out a glass
for the ones who have passed
to make the law what we have now

Oh the guests are all plentiful
from Doug T to Drexel
They bring their perspective
and spice to the mix
But the reason we're here
and the one that we cheer
is the one who is showcasing
us his career

Good God, that’s cringey as all hell. The bit about no one explaining law better, repeated ad nauseam, & especially the part about respect between husband & wife, not to mention kids tucked in tight. These lyrics are steeped in facade, handily hosted on Kiwi Farms. Note that this fanfic did not originate here. Must be the fanfic Nick is always whining about.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Nick doesn't get to spend 1 month dry (assuming he can pull it off) and then spend next 11 black out every night and claim a victory. He's still an alcoholic. The question of sobriety only exists for alcoholics in the first place as most normal people are spend most of their month sober. Then you've got all the other shit he could take like pills which brings us back to square 1 on the whole sober month thing.

What is it with cows and pills? Seriously? You're already drinking one of the hardest drugs on the planet that wont immediately kill you, which is what Alcohol is, now you want to slip in benzos and coke to roll that dice of death. I'm not surprised with Nick, it's just really, really stupid

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

I genuinely wish Nick good luck with his Sober January.
I don’t think he’s going to make it, but I hope he does if only for his own sake.
Knock on wood, I guess.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

Also interesting, no Rumble contract. He supposedly was going to go to Florida in January, after his contract lapsed, to renegotiate (from a strong position of having allowed a contract to lapse). Now he's not traveling until after February? Or is the sober up to make good for Rumble?

"Sorry kiwi fags, life doesn't work out the way you pretend it does ~"
- Balldo Man, November 2023

 

[Chibitzen]

For my New Years prediction, I believe Mandy will return to us as Sandy, the virtuous longtime but newly active subscriber to help newly sober Balldo down the "I'm saved!" path towards self-healing and regeneration after a difficult year. Her depression will be magically cured and her attention-seeking posts will shift from nudes to badly scribed Bible quotes over some angelic scribbles. I am certain Locals will be just thrilled with her.

 

[Captain Manning]

He has had streams in the past little while where he says he won't drink, he gets a toast super chat, and then starts drinking fully throughout the stream. I expect that's what will happen, he will use the toasts as an excuse to drink.

LOL. It would be so easy to fuck shit up for him...

I mean, if the Farms were into neghole pozzing...

"Judy Tester for $5 says, hey Nick, my chinchilla Kate Hikes just died. Can I get a toast to them?"

"Sure Buddy!"

<glug glug glug>

Personally, I don't think he'll need any help though. I think this is a plan he has no intention of following through on.

 

[Swole McPole]

Rekieta responded to a chatter saying Nick was lucky to be married for so long by immediately saying "guys who are married this long are not lucky. We're not lucky. You're lucky, you're lucky if a girl comes up to you, is like, 'Here's a prenup, I'll never take any of your stuff...'"

I spend a lot of time laughing at and making jokes about Kayla and her love of Big Black Cock, but in reality, I'm sure she only does it to please him and indulge his cuckold fetish.

But it's no wonder the poor woman lies in bed, doped to the gills watching old Star Trek episodes. Her life must be one long parade of "How the fuck is he going to publicly humiliate me next? Surely he knows our friends and family watch his channel?"

You can only blame the alcohol for so long.

I would love to see it. Dating in your 30s can be tricky depending on what you're looking for, but dating in your 30s/40s as an alcoholic single father of 5?

I'm sure it's fine as long as you're prepared to take on the responsible for caring for other men's children. Particularly when it's multiple different fathers. And some of them have brown skin. Nick grew up black in the Houston ghetto. He'll be fine raising other men's mixed race kids.

The other strong contender is him just never starting

I think he lasts a day or two. Starts drinking again off camera on the second or third day. By the end of the week, he'll be back to normal. Pissed as a fart, shame streaming for shekels and insisting he never said anything about Sober January.

 

[R00T]

Good God, that’s cringey as all hell. The bit about no one explaining law better, repeated ad nauseam, & especially the part about respect between husband & wife, not to mention kids tucked in tight. These lyrics are steeped in facade, handily hosted on Kiwi Farms. Note that this fanfic did not originate here. Must be the fanfic Nick is always whining about.

the law stuff is cringe. i always thought the thing about providing for his wife and her "bearing him children." just such a gross way to describe someone you literally don't know.
with his current actions makes the whole thing look even dumber.

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

Rekieta on dressing up in women's clothing:
"It's one of the things I've never done. I WOULD, don't get me wrong... I-I don't caaare... It'd be goofy to me and silly. I just don't have an occasion to do it."

 

[AnOminous]

"Sorry kiwi fags, life doesn't work out the way you pretend it does ~"
- Balldo Man, November 2023

I'll never get over why he thinks angrily eating a single Dorito at you, after coughing up a lung with his eyes pointing in different directions, is somehow impressive. I guess I just don't pick up on social cues.

Rekieta on dressing up in women's clothing:
"It's one of the things I've never done. I WOULD, don't get me wrong... I-I don't caaare... It'd be goofy to me and silly. I just don't have an occasion to do it."

Does this wetbrain not remember the hours long stream he did in women's clothing?

Pissed as a fart, shame streaming for shekels and insisting he never said anything about Sober January.

More like falling out of his chair drunk, yelling "I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

 

[feral cat #6385]

I can't wait for this piece of shit to fail spectacularly at sober January or whatever the fuck he is trying to do. I don't want to see him get better. I want to see him in jail or dead by the end of the year. Preferably dead so one of the many people he has wronged during the course of his career can piss on his grave.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

This white nigger cannot commit to the simplest of promises, like saying he will stream the next day, and then actually doing it, or not driving his kid while still drunk. There's no way this sober January shit is anything other than a momentary lark, in part driven by a particularly strong hangover the other day.

Also interesting, no Rumble contract. He supposedly was going to go to Florida in January, after his contract lapsed, to renegotiate (from a strong position of having allowed a contract to lapse). Now he's not traveling until after February? Or is the sober up to make good for Rumble?

What a disaster.

I cannot fathom the social media genius to allow the contract to lapse, THEN try to renegotiate...

I just hope his plunging revenue numbers cause him to sperg on stream.

 

[Strix454]

If he is able to just get through some shows in January without obviously drinking on-camera, that would be quite an accomplishment. He could easily start drinking again at any time and pretend otherwise. But getting through several entire full-length show without drinking would be tough for him I think.

Given how messed up his body is and the drugs he is known to be taking, I would expect him getting any kind of normal sleep is going to be just about impossible. He is going to have to take new stuff to knock himself out.

There is also his diet to consider. If he was really drinking 2/3rds of his calorine intake, the transition in food intake is going to be very difficult. I would expect near constant binge eating.

 

[Poop Shoot]

So, how is he going to sneak drinks in January, any guesses? I’m feeling like he’s a basic bitch so I see him hiding his liquor in a McDonalds cup to sip on throughout the streams.