Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

Cologuard is not a bad option. Sometimes folks have insurance that covers it and it has been shown to be very good at detecting abnormalities and its a test that actual GI doctors recommend. If it's an option that is available, I think there is nothing wrong with opting for this test because lets face it, a colonoscopy is not a pleasant procedure to go through. The problem is that if something is abnormal on the cologuard the next step is colonoscopy anyway which is why I personally would just do the colonoscopy.

With that said, assuming Jack was given a choice between a colonoscopy and cologuard, I'm sure his personal reason for turning down the colonoscopy was because he thinks its gay or something just like he avoids male dogs because he is worried about accidental canine penile contact during belly rubs.

He doesn’t want anyone sticking a camera up his ass because Jack is insecure about things going up his ass because he’s a closet fairy.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

I buy Bitcoin so I can swap it to ether and tokenize a photoshop of Jack Scalfani blasting colonic cleansing mud all over the ugliest fucking cartoon monkey you've ever seen and sell it to retarded Jews at D. E. Shaw.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Cologuard is not a bad option. Sometimes folks have insurance that covers it and it has been shown to be very good at detecting abnormalities and its a test that actual GI doctors recommend. If it's an option that is available, I think there is nothing wrong with opting for this test because lets face it, a colonoscopy is not a pleasant procedure to go through. The problem is that if something is abnormal on the cologuard the next step is colonoscopy anyway which is why I personally would just do the colonoscopy.

With that said, assuming Jack was given a choice between a colonoscopy and cologuard, I'm sure his personal reason for turning down the colonoscopy was because he thinks its gay or something just like he avoids male dogs because he is worried about accidental canine penile contact during belly rubs.

Probably afraid he'd get an erection when the Doctor put it up his ass.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Jack’s probably afraid that he won’t wake up after a colonoscopy procedure, despite sleeping through the majority of his bowel movements.

Jack can't even understand things as simple as a type of burger in front of him that he himself ordered, his ability to think about abstractions like death would be measured in a negative value if possible. Which I guess is a positive from his perspective, considering where he's going when it happens.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Maybe he’s too high risk for anesthesia after all of the shit he’s been through this past year so the doctor told him to shit in a box instead.

 

[Marc]

Maybe he’s too high risk for anesthesia after all of the shit he’s been through this past year so the doctor told him to shit in a box instead.

Easier prescribed than executed. What doctor of Jack's would trust him to shit in a box and hand it off to UPS?

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Maybe he’s too high risk for anesthesia after all of the shit he’s been through this past year so the doctor told him to shit in a box instead.

He's too fat/immobile to have one done.

 

[semitooth]

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What's so humbling about a screening test for colon cancer? I guess it would be humbling to realize that your wife has to handle and collect your shit to send to the lab because you can't.

he said getting his ass played with was "humbling" when he was in stroke rehab too and the nurses had to wipe his ass.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

he said getting his ass played with was "humbling" when he was in stroke rehab too and the nurses had to wipe his ass.

Again, he was appealing to Tammy who would think he’s cheating by having his no no parts touched by anyone but his wife.

These larping southerners are dumb as fuck.


Also, crypto is gay

 

[Piggle Rick]

To get a colonoscopy you’ve got to stop eating for half a day or something, so that’s not going to happen.

 

[fag0rz]

he said getting his ass played with was "humbling" when he was in stroke rehab too and the nurses had to wipe his ass.

Jack found getting his ass played with "pleasantly arousing" but only when a large, black male nurse did it.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Jack found getting his ass played with "pleasantly arousing" but only when a large, black male nurse did it.

Rekieta crossover when?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

It's preposterous that you're including that as a condition. Literally nothing has any value, then, because even the value of food and water are entirely reliant on similar externalities.

Food and water have value because we need them. And, if civilization collapses, food and water would be the new currency. Along with things like skills, guns, ammo, seeds, tools and whatever else would help us to survive. Gold, silver and other precious metals? Worthless at that point. If it can't feed you, if it can't protect you or if nobody is willing to barter it for something you have nothing.

Most things only have value because we say they do. If I have something that you want and we agree that I sell it to you for $10 then that thing is worth $10. If however I insist that it's worth $500 and you're only willing to spend $10 then guess what? It's not worth $500. My saying it's worth that price is only if somebody else is willing to buy it at that price.

Maybe he’s too high risk for anesthesia after all of the shit he’s been through this past year so the doctor told him to shit in a box instead.

I would not be surprised if this was the thing.

They're afraid to put him under with his multiple strokes, sleep apnea and all that meaning he could die on the table.

Jack found getting his ass played with "pleasantly arousing" but only when a large, black male nurse did it.

And he kept trying to give the nurse a blowjob at the same time. Or he whined that it wasn't fair they weren't giving him a reach-around.

 

[indomitable snowman]

I postulated this question in the Rekieta thread.
Who will last longer on their new diets
a. Jack Scalfani with his Carnivore diet
b. Nick Rekieta with a sober January

Any other lolcows with new years resolutions to add to the list?

 

[a terminal posture]

Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason. He uses some expensive chocolate w/ pepper instead of cheap chocolate and cheap dried pepper. He wonders why his pressured cooked chili is watery (gee I wonder).

 

[AnOminous]

Food and water have value because we need them. And, if civilization collapses, food and water would be the new currency.

But in a civilized society, we need money because it's the only way to exchange value that can sustain civilization. Without money and economies, say bye to civilization (unless we get to some as-yet imaginary luxury space communism). Things like cryptocurrency and gold and fiat currency have "inherent value" because they have attributes that make them useful as either money or stores of value.

So if economic activity itself has value, then so do things that facilitate it.

Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason.

There's really no reason to use a pressure cooker for chili. It's generally better stewed slowly at a low temperature than blasted into a diarrhea-looking mess (well more of a mess than usual).

 

[lindsayfan]

Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason. He uses some expensive chocolate w/ pepper instead of cheap chocolate and cheap dried pepper. He wonders why his pressured cooked chili is watery (gee I wonder).

why's this agenda 21 libcuck communistically wishing us "happy holidays?" too scared to say CHRISTMAS?

jack experiencing aphasia while he tries to recall the word "beans" was humorous, as was the idea of a chili recipe calling for a gallon of heinz ketchup and a pound of bacon. Mmm, mmm.

 

[Aunt Carol]

To get a colonoscopy you’ve got to stop eating for half a day or something, so that’s not going to happen.

Jack tends to half-ass things, and believes that he can complain to Customer Service hard enough to change reality.

If Jack doesn't have any of the risk factors to preclude Cologuard, this is a lot better screening than trusting him to do bowel prep.

He is exactly the kind of patient to drink some of the prep, ignore the rest, and then come in the next morning and argue with the endoscopy staff that his bowel should be clean, and it's their fault if they can't advance the scope/cancel for inadequate prep.

 

[Super Hans v2]

I postulated this question in the Rekieta thread.
Who will last longer on their new diets
a. Jack Scalfani with his Carnivore diet
b. Nick Rekieta with a sober January

Any other lolcows with new years resolutions to add to the list?

Balldo for sure. TamHam was paying good money for Profile by Sanford to autistically make each of their diets, and Jack, for reasons only known to God, gained weight. He's going to fail during first breakfast on January 1st, probably because of his morning coffee. At least Nick probaly will have the willpower to not make his own an Irish coffee.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Food and water have value because we need them. And, if civilization collapses, food and water would be the new currency. Along with things like skills, guns, ammo, seeds, tools and whatever else would help us to survive. Gold, silver and other precious metals? Worthless at that point. If it can't feed you, if it can't protect you or if nobody is willing to barter it for something you have nothing.

Your not wrong on a fundamental level, but I'm of the opinion that this is a terrible argument - And its one that this sort of discussion CONSTANTLY falls into, you're not unique in it. At its most basic level, yes, if all of civilization collapses, any trade exclusive good becomes absolutely irrelevant, and currency is just that, a trade exclusive good, whether it be precious metals or printed fiat or digital ledgers.

The problem in these discussions is that any sort of system collapse is treated as an all or nothing - Either civilization is fine, or we're barbarians killing each other over the last can of beans. Which tends to overlook the wide gulf between the two, where wider states fail, but some significant portion of the markets and trade stay in place, often under local powers or warlords, depending on how shit it goes. The reality is that in any grade of collapse where most people can continue to actually labor rather than devolve to subsistence will still have use for something to facilitate trade - And when there's still people running the water treatment plant, growing food, and offering services, you'll want that medium of exchange, as figuring out how many jars of grandma's preserves are worth a patched pair of jeans to someone who has plenty of food from patching clothes but wants the electrician to patch his radio so he can listen to the HAM stations is a nightmare.

The bronze age collapse didn't immediately lead all the locals to regressing into hunter gatherer groups - they regressed into insular city states that slowly poked back out into the wider world. The collapse of various governments and dictatorships over the last century didn't immediately lead to people becoming Heinz Warlords, but it did almost universally lead to the local currency being abandoned in favor of foreign currencies as people still wanted to engage in trade internally, and didn't want all their money to evaporate, see Venezuela.

States may collapse, but economic activity rarely does, and currencies and stores of value are a means to facilitate economic activity, not states and civilizations. Be careful not to conflate the two.

They're afraid to put him under with his multiple strokes, sleep apnea and all that meaning he could die on the table.

Can you imagine being the poor bastard on the other end of this? You go into work expecting a normal day, you stick your hand up a fat mans ass and he dies of bliss. Horrified, you give your report, get interviewed by the authorities, and go home early - give you plenty of time to sort through what just happened. You sit down, and decide to try and focus on something else, bust out a game you've been working through, figuring maybe you'll find a trick to get past that boss.

You boot up Elden Ring, and find a new message written in front of the boss door. You open it, eager for the wisdom to distract you.

It reads: "Try Finger, But Hole"