The Julays Ninth Annual Lolcow Awards 2023 - Which lolcow will claim the throne?

Who should become Lolcow of the Year?

  • Dylan James Mulvaney / Days of Girlhood

    Votes: 201 6.1%
  • Ethan Ralph / Gunt

    Votes: 89 2.7%
  • Patrick Sean Tomlinson / Stealthygeek

    Votes: 581 17.5%
  • Austin Curtis Peterson / Bossmanjack

    Votes: 621 18.7%
  • Nick Rekieta / Rekieta Law

    Votes: 1,142 34.4%
  • Liz Fong-Jones / Elliot William Fong

    Votes: 353 10.6%
  • Cyrax / Chance J.F. Wilkins

    Votes: 93 2.8%
  • Keffals / Lucas Roberts / Clara Sorrenti

    Votes: 238 7.2%

  • Total voters
    3,318
  • Poll closed .
Let the record state that Rekeita is barely a lolcow compared to BossManJack or Fatrick. If you voted for him, you know in your heart of hearts him being a degenerate alcoholic is nowhere near as funny as losing 40k and smashing drywall
Once again the sektur dominates and I think it's because of its proximity to KF, Josh and the culture. Rekieta's downward spiral has its funny moments like the catfishing and the balldo arc but for the most part it's just sad and really pathetic, not to mention that it requires you keeping up with hours and hours and hours of fucking boring streams with lawtube talking heads to catch the funny and understand context. I can even understand arguments from people saying bossman is too onedimensional (mostly true even though it's a matter of preference and he's had other funny moments like being flashed by a masturbating black tranny on omegle). Patrick however is just a pure, unfiltered 24/7 stream of insanity, Dunning Kruger, xitter sperging, stalker childing, deadnaming, equally insane orbiters, lolsuits and amazing fan content made by dedicated pests. Fat's 2023 has been hilarious and definitely funnier than most other cows including Rekieta.
 
Once again the sektur dominates and I think it's because of its proximity to KF, Josh and the culture. Rekieta's downward spiral has its funny moments like the catfishing and the balldo arc but for the most part it's just sad and really pathetic, not to mention that it requires you keeping up with hours and hours and hours of fucking boring streams with lawtube talking heads to catch the funny and understand context. I can even understand arguments from people saying bossman is too onedimensional (mostly true even though it's a matter of preference and he's had other funny moments like being flashed by a masturbating black tranny on omegle). Patrick however is just a pure, unfiltered 24/7 stream of insanity, Dunning Kruger, xitter sperging, stalker childing, deadnaming, equally insane orbiters, lolsuits and amazing fan content made by dedicated pests. Fat's 2023 has been hilarious and definitely funnier than most other cows including Rekieta.

All three of the front runners have something that could easily spoil them for you. Rekeita's got what this comment describes, Bossman Jack's a gambling addict and that sort of stuff hits too close to home for some and just isn't very funny for others even before being repetitive, and Patrick's trolls are insane and that's something that will also turn some people off him. Patrick's probably the "purest" lolcow compared to the other two, but timely features go hard.
 
Lolcow of the Year: Nick Rekeita
Best Main Forum Lolcow: King Cobra
Queen of the BP: Anisa Jomha
Best Internet Famous and Grift Wars Lolcow: Boogie2988

Best Lolcow Media: Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned
 
Lolcow of the Year: Nick Rekeita
Queen of the BP: Anisa Jomha
Best Internet Famous and Grift Wars Lolcow: Gonzalo Lira/Coach Red Pill

Ralph was absolutely robbed of lolcow of the year last year, but he just hasn't moved the needle this year. Its gotta be balldo man this go around. Man shot up straight outta the sektur with the Depp trial coverage and then fell right back down because he decided now was the best possible time for him to start having a midlife crisis.
 
Best Main Forum Lolcow: Nick Rekieta
Best Internet Famous & Grift Wars Lolcow: Boogie2988
Fresh Meat: justpearlythingz
Best Put to Pasture Lolcow: Bubba Copeland
Alan Michael White Opsec Fail Award: @thegooddoctor/@Xentrilius
Best Lolcow Media: Boogie Vs Wings
 
Once again the sektur dominates and I think it's because of its proximity to KF, Josh and the culture. Rekieta's downward spiral has its funny moments like the catfishing and the balldo arc but for the most part it's just sad and really pathetic, not to mention that it requires you keeping up with hours and hours and hours of fucking boring streams with lawtube talking heads to catch the funny and understand context. I can even understand arguments from people saying bossman is too onedimensional (mostly true even though it's a matter of preference and he's had other funny moments like being flashed by a masturbating black tranny on omegle). Patrick however is just a pure, unfiltered 24/7 stream of insanity, Dunning Kruger, xitter sperging, stalker childing, deadnaming, equally insane orbiters, lolsuits and amazing fan content made by dedicated pests. Fat's 2023 has been hilarious and definitely funnier than most other cows including Rekieta.
This is why I pulled the lever for Fatrick. My only regret is how the other patsisters are handling the situation.
 
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Reactions: Shlomo XL
Almost forgot to vote!


Queen of the Beauty Parlour: iilluminaughtii
Best Internet Famous & Grift Wars Lolcow: Boogie2988
Best Stinkditch & Rat King Lolcow: Dave Muscato

Best Lolcow Media: Boogie vs Wings
 
Lolcow of the Year: Nick Rekita
Best Main Forum Lolcow: Daniel Larson
Queen of the Beauty Parlour: Blair Zon
Breaker of Scales: People's Populist Press/PPP
Best Animal Control Lolcow: Pamperchu
Best Internet Famous & Grift Wars Lolcow: PapaJF/JFG
Best Stinkditch & Rat King Lolcow: Dave "Danielle" Muscato
(Those voting for Goonclown should realize that he'll get off on winning a Kiwifarms award)
Fresh Meat: Music Biz Marty
Best Put to Pasture Lolcow: My heart wants to vote for Bubba, but not really anything was known about Bubba until the suicide... So I'm going with Paisley Courson
Alan Michael White Opsec Fail Award: @SamanthaPrater
Best Lolcow Media: Boogie vs Wings

Edited to include vote for LOLcow of the year.
 
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(The terrible editing is ironic, not because i cba to do it properly, rat)

Next year would really benefit from some sort of preferential voting system for atleast LOTY, i can imagine that would be a pain in the arse to do though so i wouldn't blame you for not wanting to do it. I mean looking at the thread these people can barely understand the concept of ONLY VOTING FOR 3 SUB CATEGORIES AND USING THE POLL FOR LOTY so god forbid they have to have to use a numbered list or some shit, their minds might explode.
 
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Next year would really benefit from some sort of preferential voting system for atleast LOTY, i can imagine that would be a pain in the arse to do though so i wouldn't blame you for not wanting to do it
OP did mention some rules changes for the next one that were already in mind with regards to the Rekeita stuff, though I'm curious what rules you can really use to account for late major events to get a guy fresh in people's mind rather than the honor system.
 
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Reactions: naaaaiiiiillllll!!!
OP did mention some rules changes for the next one that were already in mind with regards to the Rekeita stuff, though I'm curious what rules you can really use to account for late major events to get a guy fresh in people's mind rather than the honor system.

In real elections, an October Surprise is completely fair.
 
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