Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Markorian]

Saturnalia and a few others. The purpose was to establish Christmas as an Empire-wide holiday by celebrating it at the same time. The people in subject states would go along with calling it Christmas so long as they got to keep their midwinter parties.

It's also pretty big bazinga theory tier speculation, since the vast majority of similarities between Christmas and Saturnalia only arose in the past 200 years. It shows how low pat is that he's repeating this verbatim, since even TJ "banana hole" Kirk tier atheists usually couch it with "well, they lifted traditions from like half a dozen pagan winter festivals and merged them" rather than just saying they copied and replaced a single one.

 

[internet friend]

I did not accidentally bend the barrel.

No, Robert child, I did not intentionally bend the barrel to match my faucet penis. Enjoy prison.

 

[Associate Rick]

Did he sit on it?

He's into things.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

I'm not a fan of the NRA for various reasons but Fatrick is really flexing those creative muscles with this Wayne Lapierre fan fic. I don't think the most out of touch, deranged MSNBC worshipper could come up with something this unhinged.


Apparently the NRA is a Russian organization with the end goal to supply Americans with guns? What a complete fucking idiot! I've seen more coherent Kojima plots.

 

[RollingRock2]

The only thing Fat has done competitively is pepperoni eating.

 

[AnOminous]

It shows how low pat is that he's repeating this verbatim, since even TJ "banana hole" Kirk tier atheists usually couch it with "well, they lifted traditions from like half a dozen pagan winter festivals and merged them" rather than just saying they copied and replaced a single one.

In any event, even in the theory, they didn't "steal" the pagan holidays. They replaced them.

Genghis Khan did something similar and let subject states just outright keep their old religion. This robbed the secular leadership of their support by the clergy who had been a bulwark of the state. Given the choice between "you all get killed and we raze everything you own to the ground" and "you have to pay some tribute plus you get to keep your religion and everything else" most people would go along with it.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

I'm about to derail this whole topic so out of respect, I'll put it all in a spoiler. Someone mentioned Rimworld a while ago, I suddenly remembered Pigmen are now a thing with the Biotech DLC, so I set about making Pat in Rimworld. Enjoy Virtual Patrick, sTalkers.

Spoiler: Off Topic Rimworld Sperging

Hello Pat fans, pests, and other gentlemen of the internet. A while back, someone mentioned putting Pat in Rimworld. It turns out that with the release of Biotech, the developers of Rimworld have joined the sTalker childs, as they included a race called "Pigskin". It's exactly what you think it is. And as for getting Patrick in there?

This is as fat as I can make him. There is not enough data in the several gigabytes of mods I've downloaded to make him as fat as he should be. Let's call this a "Patrick Tomlinson Simulator" for now.

I had to go with "Rebellious Student" as his childhood backstory, I'm fairly certain he was one of those that got into a ton of trouble in school but mommy protected him. There are no failed father, husband, failed writer, or similar backstories, so we're going with Butcher because, well...artisanal pepperoni, anyone? I know some of you are going to say "Hmm, those skill totals look a little high", rest assured, Rimworld is a game that is far nicer than I am when it comes to assigning skill points, I have already dropped it as far as I am allowed.

And as for his beloved weapon, the P90, even though he's got a cucked PS90?

Thank the Gods that Vanilla Expanded has me covered, it even LOOKS like a P90!
Coming soon to a Let's Sperg near you: The No Child, you are the Stalker run, which I'll do until Pat's pawn dies or it stops being funny, whichever comes first.

 

[RussianParasite]

On the other, better forum one pest zoologist is rebuked for offering Pat his objective observations on the behavior of fat faggots in the wild.

 

[Ashkenazi Porn Actress]

How the fuck do you even find something like the porn doppelgangers of Pat and Nikki? Did somebody type "amateur couple consisting of a rotund ball of grease and his frumpy wife are into thiiinnggs with blacks and trannies" into the search bar?

 

[DumbDude43]

How the fuck do you even find something like the porn doppelgangers of Pat and Nikki? Did somebody type "amateur couple consisting of a rotund ball of grease and his frumpy wife are into thiiinnggs with blacks and trannies" into the search bar?

ona forums userbase is hundreds of mega coomers who spend 10 hours a day watching amateur tranny porn online
during one of their goon sessions they randomly stumbled upon that video and thought "hey this tranny fucker kinda looks like fatrick!"

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

How the fuck do you even find something like the porn doppelgangers of Pat and Nikki? Did somebody type "amateur couple consisting of a rotund ball of grease and his frumpy wife are into thiiinnggs with blacks and trannies" into the search bar?

A wiser man once said the following, and in my opinion it should be applied to every single moment of befuddlement caused by Pigger (which are all of them):

 

[The Feline Solution]

I'm not a fan of the NRA for various reasons but Fatrick is really flexing those creative muscles with this Wayne Lapierre fan fic. I don't think the most out of touch, deranged MSNBC worshipper could come up with something this unhinged.
View attachment 5614343
View attachment 5614345
Apparently the NRA is a Russian organization with the end goal to supply Americans with guns? What a complete fucking idiot! I've seen more coherent Kojima plots.

>sometimes competitively
He just can't not lie. Even Technicality Tomlinson can't save this, like in "it was a backyard tournament with friends and the winner got a case of beer" because Fat has no friends.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

I'm about to derail this whole topic so out of respect, I'll put it all in a spoiler. Someone mentioned Rimworld a while ago, I suddenly remembered Pigmen are now a thing with the Biotech DLC, so I set about making Pat in Rimworld. Enjoy Virtual Patrick, sTalkers.

Spoiler: Off Topic Rimworld Sperging

Hello Pat fans, pests, and other gentlemen of the internet. A while back, someone mentioned putting Pat in Rimworld. It turns out that with the release of Biotech, the developers of Rimworld have joined the sTalker childs, as they included a race called "Pigskin". It's exactly what you think it is. And as for getting Patrick in there?

View attachment 5614551

This is as fat as I can make him. There is not enough data in the several gigabytes of mods I've downloaded to make him as fat as he should be. Let's call this a "Patrick Tomlinson Simulator" for now.

I had to go with "Rebellious Student" as his childhood backstory, I'm fairly certain he was one of those that got into a ton of trouble in school but mommy protected him. There are no failed father, husband, failed writer, or similar backstories, so we're going with Butcher because, well...artisanal pepperoni, anyone? I know some of you are going to say "Hmm, those skill totals look a little high", rest assured, Rimworld is a game that is far nicer than I am when it comes to assigning skill points, I have already dropped it as far as I am allowed.

And as for his beloved weapon, the P90, even though he's got a cucked PS90?


View attachment 5614566

Thank the Gods that Vanilla Expanded has me covered, it even LOOKS like a P90!
Coming soon to a Let's Sperg near you: The No Child, you are the Stalker run, which I'll do until Pat's pawn dies or it stops being funny, whichever comes first.

Worst idea ever.
I would be killing my own colonists on Day 1.

 

[James done did it]

Someone on OnA put together a genealogy of this fat fuck and discovered HE IS A RACIAL JEW. Mama Raven's mother was Jewish. This is some deep cover Judaism. In retrospect his sexual deviancy and mental illness should have raised some flags. Just goes to show that the Early Life section of Wikipedia alone isn't enough to detect these stealthy yid shapeshifters.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

>sometimes competitively
He just can't not lie. Even Technicality Tomlinson can't save this, like in "it was a backyard tournament with friends and the winner got a case of beer" because Fat has no friends.

People really need to start demanding he post his practiscore.

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

How the fuck do you even find something like the porn doppelgangers of Pat and Nikki? Did somebody type "amateur couple consisting of a rotund ball of grease and his frumpy wife are into thiiinnggs with blacks and trannies" into the search bar?

Life comes at you in fast and unexpected ways. God bless the OnA coomer who opened the pornhub amateurs section and saw that and had his autism immediately fire off.

 

[AnOminous]

Apparently the NRA is a Russian organization with the end goal to supply Americans with guns? What a complete fucking idiot! I've seen more coherent Kojima plots.

Somehow Pat manages never to get anything remotely right, even when it's obvious.

The NRA is an industry lobby with one purpose, to sell guns and make money. It's not a rights organization. It's just that them making money happens to be dependent on guns being freely available for sale, and the Second Amendment happens to be pretty critical to that. So their interests coincide with that of those who want to buy guns, but if they could make money without doing that, they would.

The Second Amendment Foundation is much more of a pure rights organization. (They filed McDonald v. City of Chicago, the case that made Heller formally applicable to all 50 states.)

 

[Señora Airi]

Apparently the NRA is a Russian organization with the end goal to supply Americans with guns? What a complete fucking idiot! I've seen more coherent Kojima plots.

So our supposed enemy is giving Americans guns to shoot each other with, but then they'll come in and try to take over? Is he thinking that Russia is 80s America with that whole Afghanistan war the USSR fought?

 

[John_Smith]

*thinking*

yeah, Patso doesn't do thinking.

In those photos, it's a close resemblance to Nikki, but we all know that Nikki would be wearing sunglasses on her head, blown out flip-flops on her stinkers and skanky tattoos --tattoos so nasty they are not even nice enought to be called tramp stamps -- decorating her naughty bits.

Nikki was in a threesome with the Weirdly Gruesomes before she met her Pig. You just know that there is video. I'm certain that a Pest will eventually engage in social engineering and get copies. I would not watch any of the video. I've seen enough eldritch horrors in my day, but just the idea that the Pest's have such video would really rustle Patso's withered jimmies.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

*thinking*

yeah, Patso doesn't do thinking.

In those photos, it's a close resemblance to Nikki, but we all know that Nikki would be wearing sunglasses on her head, blown out flip-flops on her stinkers and skanky tattoos --tattoos so nasty they are not even nice enought to be called tramp stamps -- decorating her naughty bits.

Nikki was in a threesome with the Weirdly Gruesomes before she met her Pig. You just know that there is video. I'm certain that a Pest will eventually engage in social engineering and get copies. I would not watch any of the video. I've seen enough eldritch horrors in my day, but just the idea that the Pest's have such video would really rustle Patso's withered jimmies.

The Weirdly Gruesomes