DSP Plays Balding Gate 3

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When will Phil ragequit BG3?

  • Two Streams

    Votes: 37 17.9%
  • Four Streams

    Votes: 64 30.9%
  • Eight Streams

    Votes: 30 14.5%
  • When he kills himself

    Votes: 76 36.7%

  • Total voters
    207
View attachment 5604033
PHILIPPA WHY DIDN'T YOU LIKE MY TWEET
PHILIPPA IT IS PRONOUNCED DARE RICH
NOT DEREK
PHILIPPA WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?
DID YOU KNOW THAT SUPER MARIO 2 IS CALLED DOKI DOKI PANIC
Jeez, is that Derich now?!

He sure went from straight from goofy misfit to “scary looking Asian about to rape you” really fast.

DSP’s weird aversion to anything sexual never ceases to amuse me.

Imagine Phil’s reaction when his dad calls and starts asking if there might be grandchildren on the way.

“Daad, come on! Ahma mature ahdult! Tuh-heh-heh!”
 
So what ever happened to never savescumming, or has DSP arbitrarily redefined what savescumming is yet again?
 
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Shadowheart's sex scene takes around 60 hours to do. Lae'zel's can take 10 hours. Different people have different views and desires when it comes to sex. Shocking, I know.
It's even funnier with Lae'zel. You start with sex scene and end with handholding and watching sunrise, while with Shadowheart it's vanilla progression.
 
It's even funnier with Lae'zel. You start with sex scene and end with handholding and watching sunrise, while with Shadowheart it's vanilla progression.
Any relationships in game with a fat horse who eats sushi, while the PC watches sweaty men wrestle?

I have a feeling Phill would be all over that one.
 
So Phil ran into the tower in the underdark and is having abit of a cry and a whinge about the rules and the game.

NOT FUN

STUPID

Crying about everything not working like he would want it to.
It's not even like he is in any real danger, it's just that the second he gets the slightest pushback he'll start crying and bitching.
 
was up until 5am last night doing work because i'm a fat bitch, time to relax with some pasta and chill-style bald gate vibes.

"JASPER, STOP, JASPER, LET GO OF THAT WIRE RIGHT NOW, JASPER"

jasper is desperately trying to save us from another dogshit session.

"maybe the fish is for food"

i think he's getting dumber somehow.

phil has been explaining his post nasal drip for the past 6 minutes because someone asked him if he has a cold. this has included him bringing up his "15 years running a successful business" twice and how muting his stream is unreasonable to ask, i am going to kill myself.

lae'zel and shadowheart are fighting in their underwear. phil isn't happy.

"we already had this conversation, why is it doing it again? dumb"

because you started the same conversation with him, moron?

"huh? what the fuck happened? why am i in turn based mode? how do i leave? how did i even get in this? does anyone know what's going on?"

you're about to be raped.

"i have no idea what i'm supposed to do"

"i'm almost 40 hours into this game and there's still shit i don't understand."

skill issue.

"did that activate the dash? I didn't tell it I wanted too"

then why did you open the skill wheel, scroll over to dash, mouse over it, and hit confirm?

phil snuck up behind a turret and is absolutely shocked that the turret could turn 180 degrees.

phil is so stupid, that he wanted to throw a fireball at a turret, but he had to move closer, instead of cancelling out the move, he accidentally threw the fireball at the location he wanted to move too, completely wasting it.


"you're a warrior you jack ass, why can't you walk just a few feet? this is SO stupid. they won't even give him enough movement to jump, this is terrible, i'm sorry, this kind of combat is bad. i'm limited by the insane spatial bullshit of the game, this isn't fun, this is frustration at the fact that it's jsut really too stupidly complicated. this is not fun at all. this is really shitty."

he's mad he can't instantly teleport where he wants.

"he can only move like 3 feet a turn, what an asshole"

he's a warlock phil, not a rogue.

"see what i mean about how this game works? i didn't know i was doing that. the game didn't say i was doing that. it should tell you when you're doing things. it's stupid, i'll be honest it's stupid"

you are literally pressing buttons without understanding what the buttons do, that's the definition of fucking stupid.

phil took about 55 minutes to defeat the turrets outside of the Arcane Tower, for context you can simply sneak by these turrets in about 4-6 minutes.

"wait what? why does the book have hit points? UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, this makes me VERY nervous, i've gotta save, make a save file."

almost every object in the game has HP, which phil some how did not notice in over 40 hours of playing the game.

"it says ascend or descend, so we have a choice here?"

that is how elevators work, yes.

"im FORTY HOURS in, you guys realize this right, and there's all these complex gameplay mechanics i just don't understand. i feel like this game is my introduction to a whole universe if i keep playing these games."

you won't keep playing them, don't worry.

"no one beat this game, you know that right? all the people who streamed this game, they didn't beat it. they probably streamed it for 20 hours and didn't beat the game."

what the fuck is he talking about?

"i do not believe that most people who bought this game beat it, i don't believe that at all. i really don't. here i am 40 hours into the underdark, probably most people didn't come to the fucking underdark, they didn't do this"

this man is psychotic? what the fuck is he talking about?

phil is getting snippy with Derich again because instead of leaving Derich is spamming chat with goodbyes.

phil really does not like Astarion.

"WHAT? I have to feed Astarion like a BABY? HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?"

"there was no story here, just a bunch of lenore bullshit. i have no idea what that was about."

phil hates environmental story telling.

"has there ever been a single video game where the mushroom people are good? i don't think so."

mario.

ok, stream is over. phil played for 4 hours, he explored the Arcane Tower and reached the mushroom camp. the end. he has played for a total of 38 hours according to his PS5, around 39-40 hours according to his save file. he is still in act 1, he still has Grymforge and Creche to do.
 
"no one beat this game, you know that right? all the people who streamed this game, they didn't beat it. they probably streamed it for 20 hours and didn't beat the game."
no one has beaten BG3, except if they did they rushed through it but also no one has beaten it and they lied if they did. No one has been to the underdark either...except him.
You see this defense would ALMOST be applicable if it was week 2 of the game release. But we're 3-4 months here now, and ACT 1 was in early access for years.

This dude, man. I might catch a stream eventually but I haven't figured out a good section yet. Creche maybe?
 
I was full of dread when he turned into the Arcane tower because I knew it would be the whole fucking stream, even with chat telling him literally every step of what to do.

The best part? I dont think he got the mushrooms for that fucking quest so he's going to have to go back there AGAIN. And of course he will.
You mean, Omeluum's? Philbert, also, can accidentally use them as source of ingredients and fumble quest
 
With all his bitching about the game making him put effort into it and the minute he gets any kind of obstruction, I really got to wonder if he was like this during school projects or work assignments for actual jobs. Phil folds under literally any pressure either because he is that lazy or he mentally cannot figure out how to do shit.
The funniest part is he's mad the game is long and saying nobody could have beaten it, but he's played MULTIPLE 100+ hour rpgs.
Funnier part is the game wouldn't be so long right now if he stopped reading every item/spell description, fingering the menus for ten minutes, and spending half an hour on one combat turn asking chat what he should use.
 
work assignments for actual jobs.
This fucker has never actually worked a real job. The first time he did he was let go despite the fact that his father got him his position as a phonejockey. His refusal to get anything in his Condo fixed is another sign that this asshole will bitch and whine the second he has to spend a second of his time thinking for himself.
 
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