Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[440088]

I agree that people are too casual and sloppy these days and in order to cope, they make putting yourself together a crime. I would also say that people put too much investment on how other people look, especially if it's a strange you will never have any relationship to. If a man wears a hat to hide that they are going bald, it doesn't bother all that much. I certainly wouldn't use the term dishonest. I also wouldn't be annoyed if it were dishonest. That man owes me nothing and is dressing in a way based on personal preference.

Exactly the whole premise is operating on that women need to present themselves at their most naked and vulnerable at all times otherwise they are dishonest and that’s just a fucking weird mindset to have.

 

[NoReturn]

Basic grooming ≠ painting a different face over your face. Imagine what you'd think of a man who wears makeup and tell me why you feel any differently when women do it.

This is my position as well, which is why I'm not a makeup enthusiast. It's one thing to be bare-faced but cleaned and moisturized, or to wear something like a lipstick or mascara over your existing features, but the Kardashian-inspired contouring fads and the East Asian makeup with prosthetics and tape is pretty crazy to me.

Makes me sad how comfortable we are for everybody to walk around like total slobs now. You go to the grocery store and people are just waltzing around in their pajamas and shit.

I thought PJs at school was a 2000s thing, but I learned recently teenagers are still doing it (or doing it again after COVID).

I agree that people are too casual and sloppy these days and in order to cope, they make putting yourself together a crime. I would also say that people put too much investment on how other people look, especially if it's a strange you will never have any relationship to. If a man wears a hat to hide that they are going bald, it doesn't bother all that much. I certainly wouldn't use the term dishonest. I also wouldn't be annoyed if it were dishonest. That man owes me nothing and is dressing in a way based on personal preference.

Bucket-crabs gonna bucket.

 

[dick brain]

I keep seeing this “because a woman is clean and well put together and dressed up” she is being some dishonest creature.

No you don't. Nobody said that. Learn to read.

I don't think I'm entitled to honesty from strangers, whether they are male or female.

I don't think I'm entitled to honesty, I also don't think anyone is entitled to my time, I'm not going to waste my time with someone who isn't honest.

In a dating situation honesty is earned and revealed slowly over time. People are too complex.

Hard disagree, that sounds fucking awful. The objective of dating is to find someone you're compatible with and that requires honesty in your presentation of yourself, going into it with the intention of presenting yourself as different than you are only to reveal the reality later and hope your partner is okay with it is a waste of everyone's time. Gross.

ETA: For what it's worth I feel the same way about the scenario of wearing a hat to hide that you're bald.

 

[440088]

No you don't. Nobody said that. Learn to read.


I don't think I'm entitled to honesty, I also don't think anyone is entitled to my time, I'm not going to waste my time with someone who isn't honest.


Hard disagree, that sounds fucking awful. The objective of dating is to find someone you're compatible with and that requires honesty in your presentation of yourself, going into it with the intention of presenting yourself as different than you are only to reveal the reality later and hope your partner is okay with it is a waste of everyone's time. Gross.

It is a very common talking point. You’re being defensive already. “Learn to read” is very passive aggressive when you know this “muh woman dishonest looks” is super common talking point. Don’t play dumb cause of your ego.

No, dating somebody and trying to look nice for them is appreciated. I don’t want to make judgements on your behalf but you’re speaking as if you put no effort into your appearance. This is piss poor dating advice. It sounds like you’re looking to fuck on the first date and wanting to see the goods right off the bat.

When normally, people date slowly and grow more comfortable over time. You should always put your best effort into your appearance. But most people are gonna dress up in the courting stage and slowly make it over time to the lounging with sweat pants stage.

You don’t seemingly want to court or date women. You want to jump head first into fucking them is how this is coming across.

Over time people become more slobbish and vulnerable in their looks with each other because comfort has been worked on. Not the other way around.

 

[Waifu Days]

don't think I'm entitled to honesty, I also don't think anyone is entitled to my time, I'm not going to waste my time with someone who isn't honest.

This is a good mindset. I would also suggest that you don't much thought to people that are not entitled to your time. Are there fake vapid women is the world, yes. Wasting your time thinking about them is not in your best interest. There a billions of people in this world I give little thought to, I'd be lying if I said I did. If you feel all the woman you are encountering fit the bill of "fake", encounter them somewhere else. Good men and women exist, sadly and I'm guilt of this, we expect them to hang out in the most convenient and usual places.

 

[Waifu Days]

You don’t seemingly want to court or date women. You want to jump head first into fucking them is how this is coming across.

People are so complex and deep that expecting the books to be completely open is an impossibility. Trust is earned and good sex is built on trust. Women have to truly consider sex differently than men.

 

[Shidoen]

I have advice for all of you.

Learn how to make a good burger.

 

[dick brain]

It is a very common talking point. You’re being defensive already. “Learn to read” is very passive aggressive when you know this “muh woman dishonest looks” is super common talking point.

I have literally never heard anyone else talk about it in my life unless I was the one to bring it up.

Site is fucking up and won't let me quote more but basically you're wrong on every count and I have no idea how you got any of these impressions from anything I've said, you're arguing a completely different point than the one I brought up and one I disambiguated already (putting effort into your appearance vs being deceptive in doing so), I really just have to assume you're either illiterate or arguing in bad faith.

Anyway this has trailed off pretty far from what I asked so I'm going to stop shitting up the thread about it, but I'd still like responses to my initial question.

 

[440088]

I have literally never heard anyone else talk about it in my life unless I was the one to bring it up.

Site is fucking up and won't let me quote more but basically you're wrong on every count and I have no idea how you got any of these impressions from anything I've said, you're arguing a completely different point than the one I brought up and one I disambiguated already (putting effort into your appearance vs being deceptive in doing so), I really just have to assume you're either illiterate or arguing in bad faith.

Anyway this has trailed off pretty far from what I asked so I'm going to stop shitting up the thread about it, but I'd still like responses to my initial question.

I answered your questions completely. Just because you didn’t like the answers doesn’t mean all that stupid bullshit about bad faith, illiterate, blah blah blah.

Like I said drop the ego. You asked a question but don’t really seem interested in a new perspective.

It’s not dishonest, deceptive, whatever else you were saying for a woman to make her look nice through fashion, make-up, accessories. I would also encourage (and hope you do) take pride in your appearance.

I can tell you’re not a woman because looks can be a very, very vulnerable thing to is us. And to be at our most naked and vulnerable does most the time take some level of trust that can be achieved through courtship.

Women aren’t “lying to you” because they work on their appearance.

Women aren’t “lying to you” because you don’t get the privilege upon laying eyes on them to see them at their most natural state.

Now you’re changing the goal post. “I think it’s fine that women put effort into their appearance!! But they are being deceptive if they are doing too much!!”

that’s such a none statement.

You said how is every woman okay with just lying?

I asked what are they lying about?

All this is to say I’m not wrong.
A woman taking pride in her appearance and trying to achieve a good look isn’t her being some dishonest whatever the fuck you was going on about.

I would argue YOU should take pride in your appearance. Appreciate that your dates (assuming) do. And with trust you guys can get more comfortable around each other dressing down.

But instead you operate from the ideal that woman are liars cause they make themselves look nice on dates?

Thats retarded.

 

[dick brain]

I asked what are they lying about?

Painting a different face over your face to make it look different than it does is lying. Wearing clothes that contort your body to be shaped like a different body than your body is lying.

My question, literally the first thing I said, was, how do you rationalize this as anything other than lying, and you haven't given an answer to that, you've just said "It's not lying!" over and over.

 

[Waifu Days]

You asked a question but don’t really seem interested in a new perspective.

We didn't feel ashamed of our lying ways. That is why he is grumpy.

People are allowed to not buy into the premise of a line of questioning. Answers can olso include a modification or object to the question. I know the world is based off the logic of stand-up comedy, but definitive statements and generalizations do have to mix sometimes and a easy to digest answer is impossible.

@NoReturn also gave a good answer.

 

[440088]

Painting a different face over your face to make it look different than it does is lying. Wearing clothes that contort your body to be shaped like a different body than your body is lying.

My question, literally the first thing I said, was, how do you rationalize this as anything other than lying, and you haven't given an answer to that, you've just said "It's not lying!" over and over.

Because you’re being hyper dramatic to prove some kind of point that doesn’t make sense. You’re punching air.

What girls are you dating that are in full fucking drag to the point you can’t even recognize them.

I’m coming at it from a more realistic perspective of girls wearing make-up, nice clothes, good fitting bra, ect….

You’re trying to hyper dramatize the situation so that it seems like the girl is wearing a skin suit made of somebody else’s flesh to enhance their beauty.

Be realistic.

If you’re so autistic that a girl washing make up from her face makes her so insanely different looking that you can’t even recognize her anymore - then I don’t know what to say. That’s not her lying. That’s just you having some weird autism with face recognition lol.

 

[Waifu Days]

Be realistic.

As a mostly lurker, this quote sums up most of the advice given here. Most advice given is not an attempt of changing the world. It's given to give a solid suggestion to find personal happiness and acceptance.

 

[dick brain]

Because you’re being hyper dramatic to prove some kind of point that doesn’t make sense. You’re punching air.

What girls are you dating that are in full fucking drag to the point you can’t even recognize them.

I’m coming at it from a more realistic perspective of girls wearing make-up, nice clothes, good fitting bra, ect….

You’re trying to hyper dramatize the situation so that it seems like the girl is wearing a skin suit made of somebody else’s flesh to enhance their beauty.

Be realistic.

If you’re so autistic that a girl washing make up from her face makes her so insanely different looking that you can’t even recognize her anymore - then I don’t know what to say. That’s not her lying. That’s just you having some weird autism with face recognition lol.

Still not an answer. Anyway I could give a fuck what you look like with or without makeup, what bothers me is the willingness to be deceitful, because contrary to your wild asspulls I'm not looking to fuck, I'm looking for a partner whose values align with my own and one of those values is honesty.

Thanks to the folks who did answer, I think

Good men and women exist, sadly and I'm guilt of this, we expect them to hang out in the most convenient and usual places.

is probably what I need to keep in mind the most.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I mean like high waisted tight jeans flatteringly tailored to be a mold of an attractive woman that you can squeeze your doughy ass and gunt into to hide what you actually look like and create the illusion that you look better than you do. Shit like that.

You mean like how men have suits tailored 100% of the time, and choose/are counseled to choose a style that - dare I say - flatters (aka gives an improved line and overall impression)? And every single men's suit has shoulder padding. How dare you all hide your sloping, untoned shoulders and create a fake silhouette that implies you aren't pear-shaped!

And I know, I know, none of y'all know what a suit is. So how about this: men shouldn't wear full-cut, baggy, or untucked shirts because it's creating the illusion you're not pregnant with a flabby baby made of doritos and mountain dew.

And don't get me started on manlets wearing lifts or lug-bottomed shoes.

But I'm not bothered. Why? Because I know that a hat may have balding underneath it, and that a wide-hipped man never has the shoulders that suit suggests. (And I appreciate that Ethan Ralph keeps his shirt on at the beach.) It's not deception. It's so odd to be irritated - and almost morally angry - because you can't interpret human figures/appearances.


(And jeans cannot change a person's shape. In fact, for women, they tend to reveal the realities of one's shape more than other pants. Nor is there a "true" jean, vs some type that is a lie. Some jeans flatter certain figures; other jeans are better for others. Not a fan of heavy legs in skinny jeans, but some woman picking a set of flares isn't "lying.")

 

[440088]

Still not an answer. Anyway I could give a fuck what you look like with or without makeup, what bothers me is the willingness to be deceitful, because contrary to your wild asspulls I'm not looking to fuck, I'm looking for a partner whose values align with my own and one of those values is honesty.

Thanks to the folks who did answer, I think

is probably what I need to keep in mind the most.

It was an answer. Stop being disingenuous.
Nothing I said was wild or that hard of a concept to grasp.

I can only go off what you tell me. And from everything you’ve told me it doesn’t seem like you’re looking for anything other than a slob of a woman that doesn’t take care of her appearance not even on a first date. Which honestly speaks to a bad character of a woman if she doesn’t even give a shit what she looks like.

What you need to keep in mind the most (thanks to the folks that did answer. There’s that passive aggressive gorl jumping out again)

Is an appreciation of a woman that gives a fuck about her appearance and body.

Taking care of your looks and presentation isn’t dishonest.

 

[440088]

You mean like how men have suits tailored 100% of the time, and choose/are counseled to choose a style that - dare I say - flatters (aka gives an improved line and overall impression)? And every single men's suit has shoulder padding. How dare you all hide your sloping, untoned shoulders and create a fake silhouette that implies you aren't pear-shaped!

And I know, I know, none of y'all know what a suit is. So how about this: men shouldn't wear full-cut, baggy, or untucked shirts because it's creating the illusion you're not pregnant with a flabby baby made of doritos and mountain dew.

And don't get me started on manlets wearing lifts or lug-bottomed shoes.

But I'm not bothered. Why? Because I know that a hat may have balding underneath it, and that a wide-hipped man never has the shoulders that suit suggests. (And I appreciate that Ethan Ralph keeps his shirt on at the beach.) It's not deception. It's so odd to be irritated - and almost morally angry - because you can't interpret human figures/appearances.


(And jeans cannot change a person's shape. In fact, for women, they tend to reveal the realities of one's shape more than other pants. Nor is there a "true" jean, vs some type that is a lie. Some jeans flatter certain figures; other jeans are better for others. Not a fan of heavy legs in skinny jeans, but some woman picking a set of flares isn't "lying.")

Something something woman looking nice is lies. Thats pretty much been his talking point. Because a woman with a profound sense of style and make-up is somehow “cheating” to him. As he said “they can look nice but not too nice or it’s a lie!!” Or some other bullshit. Honestly, I have to believe he’s trolling at this point to not be able to understand that taking pride in your clothes and accessorizing yourself to look your best is not lying. It’s called not being a fucking slob. Which is apparently what he’s looking for. So more power to him I guess.

 

[FarmVille]

I can tell when they're fat. I can even tell when they have no glutes and they've just poured their flabby ass cheeks into the equivalent of a pushup bra. The point is that regardless of whether or not they're effective, these practices are indicative of some underlying mindset that deems them okay, and I want to understand what that is. I guess I'm holding out hope that there's some angle that justifies it that isn't a red flag, because I don't like the implication that most of the women I meet are just cool with being dishonest.

Though if that's the case at least they advertise it in a way that I can recognize.

My advice is to accept that you’re a faggot.

 

[Waifu Days]

is probably what I need to keep in mind the most.

Sometimes, and maybe this wasn't your intention, phrasing a question that only gives a rock and a hard place to respond rubs people the wong was.

@440088 has given some really good insight that I wouldn't pass on. It is a complicated and touchy things and women wear and don't wear makeup for a lot of reasons. Women are overlooked for a lot of great attributes they have because of beauty standards. It is a kick in the teeth when someone attacks the thing they do to maybe invite people to get to know the rest if them. Introductions and attracting attention (not just in a sexual way) is difficult for everyone.

I hope you find someone, I hope that for most people. Just know, she might want to wear makeup when you to go out. You might tell her you love her just the way she is but she might put on makeup anyway and it probably will not to attract or excite you. Some women wear makeup to make their man look good, like you are both eligible and desirable in this power couple. No one wants their partner to be pitied or seen as the weak link and no one wants to be the weak link. Couples should elevate one another. That's just one example of the many reason so I would keep a open mind to people's motives.

And also hope your future girl is a makeup artist.

 

[Lithuophile]

Some women wear makeup to make their man look good

So you're telling me my ex wasn't shite at make up, it was just to make me look less ugly in comparison?