Read up on
Norah Vincent (yeah, I know the source; fuck off, it's a good overview), a butch lezzie journalist. She published a book in 2006,
Self Made Man, detailing her 18-month experiment living as a man. (No, she wasn't a pooner; she set out to check on all of that male privilege she'd heard about. Turns out she found that men's lives are really rough, and that they have it really hard. She said she preferred female privilege, thank you very much.)
The 18 months living a life of deception and all the contradictions of her earlier programming that uncovered themselves took a toll on her mental state. She ultimately checked herself into a lock-down psych hospital in Switzerland, finally availing herself of assisted suicide in 2022.
Interesting factoid: As a woman, she was very much a butch dyke. But when she dressed up as a man, people thought of her as a rather effeminate gay lol
