Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Fortnite Bear]

"My eating plan is I can eat as much meat as I want, We're not counting calories. We're not weight watchers." So is he just trying to speedrun his death? Legitimately what is the end game with this "carnivore diet"?

He immediately goes on to say that the carnivore diet is about “giving your body fuel” as if that’s not what calories do in the first place.

7 years of research and this guy doesn’t understand what a calorie is and what it does to your body. 7 years ago he had two functioning arms and could walk. Fucking guy waited until he was on death’s door to reconsider his diet.

 

[Super Hans v2]

He's going the Mr. Luggs/Mr. Creosote route of gluttony, which will kill him. Then he will be too fat to go to Heaven, and spend all eternity eating. View attachment 5633932

Jack better be worrying about being too fat and greasy for Michael to take him to Heaven, if he loses his grip mid-flight Jack's going to fall like a cannonball and plow straight through the earth into Hell.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Jack better be worrying about being too fat and greasy for Michael to take him to Heaven, if he loses his grip mid-flight Jack's going to fall like a cannonball and plow straight through the earth into Hell.

Hell better prepare a tsunami warning once he crashes into the third circle.

 

[AnOminous]

Fucking guy waited until he was on death’s door to reconsider his diet.

And then in keeping with the massive brain damage from strokes that has rendered him a crippled retard, he made it even worse.

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

This thing that he's doing where he says he's eating "meat, cheese and seasoning" really infuriates me for some reason. I mean, treating 'seasoning' as if it was a food group isn't past his intelligence, but it really rubs me the wrong way.

 

[ZipDisk]

What makes the shaker seasoning ok, Jack logic? I know he's got entire kitchen cabinets full of the shit, but it expires!

 

[lindsayfan]

Here's Blast Snyder's Director's Cut of the latest Jacking Off Live or whatever the hell he calls it:

View attachment 5633431

I hope you enjoy.

assuming jack's faltering vital organs last long enough for him to do another of these, i hope you'll continue these highlight reels. great stuff. i skimmed the live but missed a lot of these funnier moments. what the fuck stroked-out shit was he muttering at the end?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Here's Blast Snyder's Director's Cut of the latest Jacking Off Live or whatever the hell he calls it:

View attachment 5633431

I hope you enjoy.

Thanks for that. I can't listen to him for too long because his voice just grates on me.

Well, if you accept the general premise of the carnivore diet, part of the theory is that its hard to overeat on protein since its so filling, and filling for so long. So if you have a relatively normal, or only modestly overextended appetite, you'll struggle to eat obesity levels of calories. The problem is that this doesn't work if your already eating such immense portions that you stomach can handle 4,000 calories of pork in a single sitting. The carnivore diet is actually pretty fucking hard if you're already morbidly obese and sedentary.

But if Jacks operating off of his brothers praise for it, and the first-page internet advice for it, the diet is the endgame, as when you ignore all the warnings, caveats, and must-do's, then it does read 'eat meat get healthy'. Jacks endgame will likely be the extreme levels of protein in his system pushing his likely fucked kidneys over the edge. Between his obesity, gluttony, and his blood sugars, they have to be already damaged, if not hanging on by a thread, and excessive protein will just strain them further. Kidney failure would be the genuine death timer for Jack - no way he gets a transplant, and even with Dialysis and carefully managed diets in otherwise healthy people, he'd be lucky to last a couple years. Much healthier people often only make it five.

Yeah but he's a mushbrain already so it's not like he can do any better. Guy has lost the ball, he's circling the drain, he's on his last leg and this will do a number on his body.

What I would absolutely love to see is this diet puts him back in the hospital and he tries to find all sorts of reasons why other than blaming the diet for it.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Powerlevel, but relatable to the current discussion. Last night I attended a relatives bbq birthday party. It was a genuine Scalfani meat heaven. Grilled chicken qaurters, two types of short ribs, fajita steaks, ribeye, sections of shank, sausage. Not a veggie in site.

I ate a good amount. Not gorged, but enjoyed alittle bit of everything.

I later woke that night with the worst headache, my pulse pounding in my ears, and had a general heavy uncomfortable feeling. My blood pressure had temporarily risen just from one meat orgy.

I cannot, for the life of me, even fathom how Jack can eat like this each meal, every meal, every day.

I can understand the fact that his stomach is probably stretched out from a lifetime of gorging himself, and thus probably doesn't feel the same level of physical discomfort and bloatedness most of us would feel from the sheer quantities of food he consumes, but what about the rest of the bodily discomforts? Does he not get painfull sodium water retention swelling in his hands and feet after salt laden meals? Doesn't he feel the same throbbing headaches from his ever rising blood pressure? The queasy acid reflex froom a greasy meal?

It's like watching a train wreck. It's fascinating and grotesque and I can't look away at what he manages to put his body through.

 

[fag0rz]

A bunch of people showed up with lewd NSFW avatars. Tits, wieners, back holes, nickado avacado lewds. Jack never mentioned them, so I’m wondering if he can even see that detail on his screen?

Jagoff's optic nerve may be too fried to see much detail. Either way, you know you've made some terrible life choices when Nickocado Avocado is in better shape than you are.

"My eating plan is I can eat as much meat as I want, We're not counting calories. We're not weight watchers." So is he just trying to speedrun his death? Legitimately what is the end game with this "carnivore diet"?

He also doesn't count the three large Pepsis and XXL bucket of popcorn he shovels down his throat at the movies every Friday. But it's okay, artificial butter-flavored grease is CARNIVOAR!

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

What makes the shaker seasoning ok, Jack logic? I know he's got entire kitchen cabinets full of the shit, but it expires!

Lol the guy "cooked" a year + old brisket and served it to his church. Jack's one of those dumbasses/hoarders that thinks anything dried/canned/frozen will last forever.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

"Jakk Al'fani declares FATwa against vegetables" circa 2024 colorized

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Does he not get painfull sodium water retention swelling in his hands and feet after salt laden meals? Doesn't he feel the same throbbing headaches from his ever rising blood pressure? The queasy acid reflex froom a greasy meal?

It's like watching a train wreck. It's fascinating and grotesque and I can't look away at what he manages to put his body through.

Just imagine shitting 5 pounds a day.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

Power level, the rotato chickens come in a plastic bag filled with blood, it's not the regular chicken for the customers.

Yeah I don't know how the myth became so prevalent that the rotisserie chickens are chickens from the meat department that were about to go bad. Grocery stores sell so many that there's no way there would ever be enough chickens to go around if they were just relying on whatever didn't sell in the meat department.

 

[Blasterisk]

it really rubs me the wrong way.

We'll have to get Jack's opinion on if rub is a seasoning (gud) meat (meat is meat, gud) or a carrot (scary).

 

[rubytintedchix]

View attachment 5635333
"Jakk Al'fani declares FATwa against vegetables" circa 2024 colorized

Now I see where Jr. gets it from.

Inshallah!

 

[Pig Cups]

Jacks endgame will likely be the extreme levels of protein in his system pushing his likely fucked kidneys over the edge. Between his obesity, gluttony, and his blood sugars, they have to be already damaged, if not hanging on by a thread, and excessive protein will just strain them further. Kidney failure would be the genuine death timer for Jack - no way he gets a transplant, and even with Dialysis and carefully managed diets in otherwise healthy people, he'd be lucky to last a couple years. Much healthier people often only make it five.

A kidney failure arc would be quite nice, even though it’d be completely predictable. We all know that Jack would treat dialysis as the sole measure needed to maintain himself, and would make zero changes anywhere else. He’d dutifully (though begrudgingly) go to the clinic 3-4 times a week, and then pig out just the same as he is now once he leaves.

What I’m wondering about is the degree to which his health would need to dramatically fail in order for him to lose the energy to continue posting on social media or YouTube. His rampant narcissism ensures that he’d walk waddle bitch at Tammy to wheel him over broken glass to get his fix. IIRC, once he was out of his coma after his last serious hospitalization, he posted a pic of hospital windows from a wheelchair. YouTube postings would almost surely be the first to run dry, owing to the extra effort needed. But he will definitely continue whining on Facebook as long as he’s able to use a smartphone- he would have to be comatose or in a state of sickness that precludes him from any activity outside of lying down in extreme pain in order for that to stop.

 

[p1138]

I can understand the fact that his stomach is probably stretched out from a lifetime of gorging himself, and thus probably doesn't feel the same level of physical discomfort and bloatedness most of us would feel from the sheer quantities of food he consumes, but what about the rest of the bodily discomforts? Does he not get painfull sodium water retention swelling in his hands and feet after salt laden meals? Doesn't he feel the same throbbing headaches from his ever rising blood pressure? The queasy acid reflex froom a greasy meal?

It's like watching a train wreck. It's fascinating and grotesque and I can't look away at what he manages to put his body through.

You don't understand that this has been Fatty's "normal" for probably 30 years now. He either assumes EVERYONE has these issues and thus they aren't issues, or he's just so used to it he doesn't even notice anymore. It's going to be the same for most of these older deathfats who have been like this for decades. They're so used to the constant problems, that it isn't a problem for them. Anyone else would see things like you mentioned as something to avoid on a regular basis. And that's even before getting to Fatty's problem of being such a self centered asshole that he doesn't notice what other people do.

 

[Tiresome]

or he's just so used to it he doesn't even notice anymore

This is exactly why he openly wept when his dead claw was momentarily brought back to life via electro-nerve therapy as if it was a life-changing development and why as soon as he left the home he didn't give a shit about PT or literally any measure to capitalize on his gains. Jack, like so many deathfats, exists in the Eternal Now, and Now means FUD and SIDDOWN. Nothing else is important, not even regaining body function.

 

[Gentlebastard]

A kidney failure arc would be quite nice, even though it’d be completely predictable. We all know that Jack would treat dialysis as the sole measure needed to maintain himself, and would make zero changes anywhere else. He’d dutifully (though begrudgingly) go to the clinic 3-4 times a week, and then pig out just the same as he is now once he leaves.

What I’m wondering about is the degree to which his health would need to dramatically fail in order for him to lose the energy to continue posting on social media or YouTube. His rampant narcissism ensures that he’d walk waddle bitch at Tammy to wheel him over broken glass to get his fix. IIRC, once he was out of his coma after his last serious hospitalization, he posted a pic of hospital windows from a wheelchair. YouTube postings would almost surely be the first to run dry, owing to the extra effort needed.

Apparently, dialysis is quite effective in clearing alcohol from the bloodstream; if you drink heavily and undergo dialysis shortly afterward, you will probably clear up and not even see the shadow of a hangover.

We also know that, while the fear of Tammy Senior keeps Jack mostly on the dry side of the aisle, Fatty Doo Doo does love his booze.

If Mr Cornivor ever runs into that bit of info, I am looking forward to the day we'll see him post a drunk Jack on the Go from the dialysis room, hugging an empty bottle of Jack Daniels and pissing off every nurse and doctor within earshot with double-slurred whining.