Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

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What would the outcome of the harassment restraining order be?

  • A WIN for the Toe against Patrick Melton.

    Votes: 64 18.1%
  • A WIN for the Toe against Nicholas Rekieta.

    Votes: 4 1.1%
  • A MAJOR WIN for the Toe, it's upheld against both of them.

    Votes: 93 26.3%
  • Huge L, felted, cooked etc, it gets thrown out.

    Votes: 55 15.6%
  • A win for the lawyers (and Kiwi Farms) because it gets postponed again.

    Votes: 137 38.8%

  • Total voters
    353
**Space is still available!**
Nick goes to California to finish his tattoo (or alternatively has it finished by some rando, both equally possible)
Another trial stream tard rage-quit. (:optimistic:)

Pill Stream moment (and/or passes out on stream)

Kingpin-level attendance at a live show/meetup. (Dick "breaking his arm" not required but very funny)

Streams even less than he did in 2023.


It's funny how many of Ralph's failures have become points of comparison for other ecelebs.
 
He is nothing like Lion El'Jonson or any Primarch or even the meakest servitor. Even a walking spitoon like Erebus has contributed more.
His value is corpse starch in that universe. Even then he would moan about the stress of being bubbly broth for rock eaters.
Being a closeted homosexual tracks pretty accurately imo.
 
"It is not a Sober January for me. Some people mistook that because of how I phrased it..."
This is the thing about Nick that annoys me the most. He can't take responsibility for even the most MINOR of things. Every time he brings this up he always phrases it so it's OUR fault that we heard exactly what he said. All the piece of shit has to do is say "I misspoke", but instead it has to be couched in "You all understood wrong". No, we didn't misunderstand anything Nick. Stop being such a massive faggot.
 
Rekieta confirmed that Sober January is not happening and that it is only Sober Stream January:

"It is not a Sober January for me. Some people mistook that because of how I phrased it..."
At this point the only thing reliable about him is how he'll shirk off any responsibility that comes his way. It's like fucking clockwork.
 
**Space is still available!**
Can we add to that 'Shower-calling' someone? Maybe Sean?

Also for consideration:

'Hope they make a million/billion dollars' goes mainstream in 2024

Nick spergs put about Josh and the Farms/haters Ralph ALAWG! style

Someone brings up Hedonism on a panel show/debate al a Jack Murphy

Nick has another 'Sober January' event where he renegs on self-improvement.
 
He is nothing like Lion El'Jonson or any Primarch or even the meakest servitor. Even a walking spitoon like Erebus has contributed more.
His value is corpse starch in that universe. Even then he would moan about the stress of being bubbly broth for rock eaters.
I'd say he fits the inquisition but only the protagonist of the very first book, Secret Inquisitor Jaq Draco.

You know, the guy who spends the entire book wanting to fuck a woman who turned into a genestealer?

1705443780000.png
This is what a genestealer looks like. It gets Jaq Draco harder than diamonds.

The book that also happened to be written by one Ian Watson, author of gems such as Orgasmachine? An author whose prose is so slimy and gross it makes you want to take a shower after just a chapter? Just read the introduction given to that book to know what kind of author you're dealing with.

The Three Laws of Feministics:

1. Your body is not your own; it belongs to another. Therefore you may not damage it nor, through inaction, allow it to be damaged.

2. You must obey all orders given you by your owner (or in cases of loss of ownership, by any man) even if such orders conflict with the First Law.

3. You may not injure any man, nor through failure to comply with the Second Law, cause him displeasure or mental injury.

Women as chattels, as customised sexslaves; bodies freakishly modified to their owners' dictates, personalities preset to order. Welcome to the world of the Orgasmachine.

But Jade and Mari escape their masters and dream of revenge, of revolution, of freedom.
There is no greater fit for Nick in the 40k universe than a character written and created by an utterly deranged techno-coomer.

And Nick, just a suggestion, but it would be (legitimately) funny if you read this book and reviewed it on stream.
 
Very quick creation. Corrections and criticism warranted (and an image for the header if you'd like to contribute). I'm thinking of adding a police car pulling someone over at the top...

**Space is still available!**
IMO, the center should be something like Seethes in Kitchen or Gets Legal Prediction Wrong. The 5k gift is not going to happening, but people should have known that beforehand. Anyone who subscribed in hopes of getting a gift deserves to be laughed at more than Rekieta.
 
**Space is still available!**

I added non-DUI arrest and a renewal of his vow that he is "not a law channel".

bingo-card.png
I was actually doing this right when I saw your post. I bow to you on this.

The ones I have my card that are not on yours are:

- Comes out as Gay/Bisexual
- Rants at Null or anyone on KF (Sean would count, as he is a Kiwi)
- Dies

That last one is a bit macabre, and I don't want it to happen, but it could very well happen. He looks REALLY unhealthy.
 
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No it fucking doesn't. It's similar to but is not meth. Of course it's usually stepped on so what's sold as it usually does. I doubt this faggot ever even took O chem.

That used to be the case, back in the day when we were paying £20 a pill and were happy to have it.
These days, the retail price of MDMA is just a couple of quid (£3-£5 if you've got a connect), the tablets come in massive doses (often 250 - 300 mg and higher) and from what I can tell are generally of high purity.

This was from 2016 but I'm pretty sure it's about the same here today.


That said, Nick will be paying $100 a hit and will be getting asprin.
 
I was actually doing this right when I saw your post. I bow to you on this.

The ones I have my card that are not on yours are:

- Comes out as Gay/Bisexual
- Rants at Null or anyone on KF (Sean would count, as he is a Kiwi)
- Dies

That last one is a bit macabre, and I don't want it to happen, but it could very well happen. He looks REALLY unhealthy.
If you'd like to take back over, please go ahead. You can just consider that post an organization of things. I merely took a few minutes inbetween other things to at least put something together.
Needs a "Pink Anime Rabbit makes fun of him again" square.

I'd say as center one but there's so many center squares you might need a 9x9 grid.
Pure comedy. I can just imagine when/if Rekieta crashes and/or gets stopped for a DUI, some YT police channel out there sends in the request for the bodycam footage and put its out on the web before the end of the year. The year ends when then the pink rabbit gets together to watch it with her weebs and proceeds to read the Elissa Clips' comments where "Mandy" magically reappears to let us all know Cynthia-style how they all warned him to stop with the excessive drinking (in private, naturally). An incestuous display of Youtube/streamer-to-streamer cannibalism all in one crowded place.
 
Nick being gay? Sadly par for the course. “TEE HEE HOMO IS FUNNY” is like Nick’s go to joke.
Don't you get it? It's funny because he's actually gay! A faggot! Flaming!
Sorry quotes not working but did nick really claim mdma aka methyldioxymethamphetamine is not an amphetamine? He's as good at chemistry as he is at lawyering
He literally claimed it was simultaneously meth AND not an amphetamine. It does have "methamphetamine" in its chemical name, but that's not the same as actually being meth. It's "amphetamine-like" but it's also like mescaline.
 
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Don't you get it? It's funny because he's actually gay! A faggot! Flaming!

I don’t know man… I’d like to think it’s because he’s just half stuck in the early 2000’s when that was edgy.

It makes sense in a way. 40 something year old Rekieta wakes up one day feeling the midlife crisis, and thinks he wasted the last 20 years because he has five kids instead of partying and banging sluts. So he mentally retreats to his early 20ies.
 
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A Jew offering money for a wife is pretty funny.

(Also: Pretty based to be like NO GOY OR NIGGERS! ONLY FELLOW CHOSEN MAY APPLY!)

Kinda feel bad for the guy though. He has to marry a Jew if he wants Jewish kids, and the number of non-pozzed, non-orthodox Jews in the US is pretty damn low. My guy needs to go to Russia or Israel if he wants a based kike wife.

Nick being gay? Sadly par for the course. “TEE HEE HOMO IS FUNNY” is like Nick’s go to joke.

Could someone post the pic of Nick wearing programmer socks and a dress?
You know, it would be really interesting to do a study on what makes the American Jew so pathetic in comparison to their counterparts in other countries. Maybe it's just the media bullshit where the most pathetic are thrown into the spotlight while things like Shomrim lay the beatdown on the darkies behind the scenes.

Here's to DUIGuy finding his own Khazar Milkers to wed.

I'd really not be surprised if Balldo came out as gay or at least bi to save face and have sex with men while his wife sleeps with bulls. Hell, if he troons out I wouldn't be that shocked, people with such egos and desire to control see it as an easy path to push others around while getting attention from chasers.
 
Rekieta confirmed that Sober January is not happening and that it is only Sober Stream January:

"It is not a Sober January for me. Some people mistook that because of how I phrased it..."
Confirmed he's not streaming much because he's too drunk off his ass.
 
Just came to this thread from community events, whats with the Balldo how is that supposed to even work like how do you put that on?

Also Nick said something about his wife like her body being ruined because of the kids, could someone link me to where he said that?

And what the fuck is Hedonism 2? and whats all this talk about putting a bottle up his ass is that figuritive or literal?

I feel like this thread was co-opted by the anti-weeb wars guys because you all seem to be spreading rumours about Nick having a trust fund or that he was a bad lawyer (he still practices to this day IIRC)

@Himedall All-seeing Waifu

This is a parody post, this is what people will be asking because the OP still hasn't been updated
 
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