Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Judge Holden said:
If you are reading this fat then just remember, as bleak as this would be its a HELL of a lot better than the alternative for guys like you in the slammer....so just keep it in mind
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Not fat, but this is insane. I'd rather get murdered than become a prison girl. Hell, there's more dignity to being raped than whatever this is.
 
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AnOminous said:
Imagine the sheer obliviousness to reality and what a fucking retard he looks like it takes for this fat failure faggot with bitch tits, completely unlikeable and an absolute nobody in his "profession," who has never sold a book that outsold his advance, to claim he has no faults when he's literally made of faults, the most obvious of which being his morbid obesity and following as a close second his unfathomable stupidity.
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Maybe this is why his books don't sell. Every decent author knows characters come off as being more relatable if they have flaws. Fat Rick meanwhile is like "No child, my feet don't even get wet when I walk on water. Enjoy prison."
 
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Mourning_Cloak said:
Schizo theory: they keep inviting Patrick to these panels in the hopes that all of those stalker childs he keeps talking about will show, stir up trouble, and get the convention lots of attention.

Schizo, I know.
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You honestly think they have the intellectual horsepower for that kind of 4D Chess?
 
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Post Reply said:
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Technicality Tomlinson strikes again. The conditional depends on a non-existent condition, a NULL. So it is technically true.

This Machine Milks Cows said:
A carwash operator surely wouldn't have one opened at about 11pm, the water would just freeze within seconds at those temperatures surely?
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Car washes in cold climates are to remove salt from your vehicle, and they are heated, but they shut down when temperatures go below 10 or 0 or similar. Maybe fuckface found one that didn't automatically shut off and actually got stuck in it like a dumbass. But in that case the car should be near the door, as if the carwash failed, you'd drive toward the door to see if it would open.
 
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...does fatrick have the delusion that whoever has the last word is right? I just remembered some sperg from my childhood who compulsively "corrected" everything said and written he believed was wrong.

Regarding a diagnosis for fat, that's what fascinates me about lolcows. He, among others, just seems like half a dozen weirdo spergs you've met throughout your life rolled into one and imbued with a compulsion to post online while lacking any filter.

At first I'd just have said that he's a not particularly bright narcissist, as in NPD. People with personality disorders are always somewhat delusional and lie a lot, but most are smart enough to keep that as hidden as possible. But he's just.. so much. The twitter addiction, the compulsive answering of his trolls, the very probable humiliation fetish, him just sucking at pretty much everything he does, having the cringiest taste and stupidest takes on everything. Truly, unique.
 
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Mourning_Cloak said:
Schizo theory: they keep inviting Patrick to these panels in the hopes that all of those stalker childs he keeps talking about will show, stir up trouble, and get the convention lots of attention.

Schizo, I know.
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I humbly disagree. They invite him over so he can share his supply of pepperoni livestock with them to.... enjoy.... before he starts the sausage grinder.
 
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Dan tease in fur know said:
is there a reason he doesnt stream? i would love for him to and give his thoughts on the news or whats happening on his twitter. maybe even live reactions to games. i could see him working himself into a lather watching the big strong men on the packers. eyes constantly drifting downward. biting his lip. gasping and stalker childing the officiating.
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He attempted to become one of those talking at the camera guys on YouTube and gave up after 8 videos. My guess is he's either too fat* and lazy to maintain a regular upload schedule for even the most low-effort content or his ego couldn't handle the visible lack of engagement his content was getting. It's much easier to ignore his awful engagement on Twitter because that is his pulpit where he sermons to the masses; they have no need to respond to the pearls he casts before them.

BONUS: If you search for 'Patrick Tomlinson' or 'Patrick S Tomlinson' on YT you have to scroll past loads of videos making fun of him before you get to his own channel.

*he is definitely fat, whether this had any bearing on his failed YT channel is unknown
 
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This Machine Milks Cows said:
This could be a good game. Famous lines from movie history given a Tomlinson twist.
Who can forget that classic line from Gone with the Wind. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Enjoy Prison."

Pat apparently just trapped himself inside a carwash.
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I am now freaky fresh, stalker. You wish you were as clean as me in your prison cell.
 
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Meat Target said:
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Presented without comment.
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prison forever.png
"Aaand send." Patrick muttered to himself as his finger hit the enter button, leaving a greasy stain on the screen. He put his phone down on the pink blanket covering his unshapely torso and turned towards his wife with a concerned frown. Although Daquan, Jamahl and Tyrone left quite a while ago, Nikki was still laying on her bed, radiant but breathing heavily and covered in sweat, her legs pressed together firmly. "The stalkers are mocking me for not being able to satisfy you sexually... Would you believe that?" Patrick asked in a tense tone, forcing an insincere laughter out of himself. Nikki turned towards her husband slowly with a mischievous smile on her face, then suddenly spread her legs and relaxed her pelvic floor muscles.
Patrick's POV:

The gust of wind blew Patrick's rapidly thinning hair back as the room quickly filled with a hot and heavy smell of watermelon, Newport cigarettes and buttered shrimp. Patrick looked at his second, better wife with a proud smile on his bloated face. "That's right." he said affectionately as he reached towards Nikki to give her a loving stroke on the cheek. "The stalkers were wrong in every detail as always." he added softly and reached for his phone. The night was still young and the prisoning has only just begun.
 
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I'm truly amazed at this blob's mental patterns. At some point, any normal, neurotypical human will simply stop engaging with opposition once they realize they no longer find any personal value in continuing the contest. Pat, by contrast, is tireless to the point he seems to approach complete lack of consciousness. He's literally like a chatbot, so autistic he has to take every single jab at face value and respond to it with a specific denial, as if he were a program designed to only directly gainsay everything said to it. I'd love to see him be forced to take a Turing Test.
 
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