Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 790 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,389
It can be even simpler, he has to eat all vegan food and vegetables, only super healthy stuff.
He'd rather die.

My version is better because it's an actual torture for him not to eat juicy meats.

Or maybe we combine the two. Put a bunch of steaks in front of him. All of them look and smell the same but only one is real. The others are lab grown, plant based or whatever. And only by using his superior knowledge of food he has to choose and eat the right steak. Once he's chosen it however he can't go back on his word and has to finish that steak. The only way he gets out is to eat the real steak. But if he does eat the real steak it makes him violently ill afterwards. I mean he needs to be tortured somehow.
 
He definitely can't even walk around the house. His scootypuff has been in the background of some videos. I'm sure part of the reason they moved was so Jacky could puttputt around better.
Imagine being an Amazon delivery driver heading upstairs to rest in the Jesus room only to take a wrong turn and walk in on Jack's diaper change.
 
Personally, I don’t believe for a second that he could eat an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting.

He’s simply not man enough to consume a little bird Without having to take a break “to let things settle.”

Jack talks a big game, but he simply is unable to back it up.

Jack. Prove it! Prove that you can eat an entire chicken in one sitting. If it’s not live-streamed, I won’t beleive it
 

Jacking Off Live "GOD BLESS TX" Jan 20th 2024​


Stream didn't even get started before Jack got dumb.
Second picture is a "best of" after the stream started.

jackTEMP1.pngjackTEMP1.png
 
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The stream began today with some brief political spergery about the border situation in Texas that kicks off a predictably boring stream from our favorite one-armed homunculus. Jack is glad that he’s hated online. He tells us that “Success today is measured in hate.” Jack also says that now that he only eats meat, everybody online loves him, so I guess he’s not that successful then?

We talked about using ‘Meat Flour’ in baking and apparently we will be getting a video about it in the future

Jack says that he does “a million things everyday.” He gives marketing, editing and social media as examples. Jack also believes that the NFL rigs games to prevent the righteous winners from claiming victory. He believes he is one of the few people smart enough to see this.

We get a food fantasy from Jack about a huge plate of French fries: it’s topped with melted cheese and bits of bacon, all with a side of barbeque dipping sauce. The wendigo hungers; its mind pulses with the thought of food.

We close with Jack telling us that there is no way the okra went to the homeless because he believes okra to be poison. In Jack's mind giving vegetables to the homeless is tantamount to attempted murder.
 
Personally, I don’t believe for a second that he could eat an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting.

He’s simply not man enough to consume a little bird Without having to take a break “to let things settle.”

Jack talks a big game, but he simply is unable to back it up.

Jack. Prove it! Prove that you can eat an entire chicken in one sitting. If it’s not live-streamed, I won’t beleive it
No I'm pretty sure he can because the man has been overeating for the longest time. He can't stop until he's full because he's stretched his stomach so much over time and it doesn't feel right unless he gets the meat sweats and wants to take a nap.

Jack also believes that the NFL rigs games to prevent the righteous winners from claiming victory. He believes he is one of the few people smart enough to see this.
That's retarded but what else did I expect? He's so far off into conspiritard land that I'm surprised he doesn't bring up stupid conspiracy crap more often.
 
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There’s a new F as in Fat with /paul/ that came out the same time he went live (roughly).


I made some notes. I didn’t get timestamps, sorry.

Let’s start out with Paul, he looks like he gained even more weight. Probably has about 5 chins now that he covers with facial hair.

  • Paul mentions all the locations of his PI agency. I may have missed them all, but it sounded like San Diego, Knoxville and Nashville. Later he mentions that he is expanding the business into Alabama
  • Paul wants to build RV parks supposedly has financial backers and he’s the real estate guy
  • Paul and Jack laugh about insurance fraud, I missed the context of this, but something about rotating stock every 3 years???
  • Paul is planning to sell his house (I think) and buy an RV
  • Paul does not go out on PI busts/investigations any more
  • Jack brings up a 5-5-5 plan which is a financial plan, and Paul gently reminds Jack that’s something they mentioned 20 years ago. I really think Jack has arrested development the more I hear this. Like he’s stuck in 2009 when he made it on YouTube.
  • “We’re gonna check out in a bit” Jack realizing his mortality, but lumps Tammy in as well.
  • They bring up the Sir Pizza episode. Jack hates CiCis pizza and says he rates CiCis over Sir Pizza. Lol.
  • “A lot of people wanna hook up and say hi” Jack sends people to Paul’s website to contact him, and then said I’ll pop up his website on the screen and then never does. Lol
  • Slaters 50/50 was the first video with all the guys getting together. They talk about trying a bacon shake. 🤮
  • Paul starts drooling over a Vietnamese place with a Bahn Mi sandwiches, refers to having a “fatgasm”.
  • Paul eats bahn mi sandwiches once a week there and rather than taking his wife a sandwich, he just sends her a photo because she works at a facility she cannot leave for lunch.
  • Jack cannot recall a place they went to for pizza or a lot of details from Cali
  • Paul brings up the first pizza war, and Jack doesn’t remember what the first one was. (It was the NYC water pizza, cheese from Wisconsin etc)
  • Paul is bringing up a lot of “remember when?” I honestly wonder if he’s trying to gauge Jack’s stroke damage
  • Tammy worked as a server and had an accounting job at the same time. She worked at downtown Disney. There’s also a food truck mentioned. But /paul/ doesn’t want to dox her previous work places.
  • Paul now lives in Georgia (revealed at the end)

There’s a part two coming all about Paul being a PI. Oh joy.
 
Jack also believes that the NFL rigs games to prevent the righteous winners from claiming victory. He believes he is one of the few people smart enough to see this.
So he's watched the memes about the NFL being scripted. While it makes some sense, he goes about it in the retarded way. Don't you think the NFL would've preferred the Cowboys and Eagles to not shit the bed in the wildcard round?
 

JOL Pt.2: The Lowlight Reel​

I felt there was less content this week, but I also wanted to make another reel in the best resolution Tor can share, 480p.
Because of the chaotic nature of Jack's practically unmoderated chat, his reactions are chronologically unorganized. I have assembled a lowlight reel in three acts:
1. nicest guy on YouTube
2. okra, not a meat or seasoning
3. the other dumb stuff Jack says about things that don't matter


 
The stream began today with some brief political spergery about the border situation in Texas that kicks off a predictably boring stream from our favorite one-armed homunculus. Jack is glad that he’s hated online. He tells us that “Success today is measured in hate.” Jack also says that now that he only eats meat, everybody online loves him, so I guess he’s not that successful then?

We talked about using ‘Meat Flour’ in baking and apparently we will be getting a video about it in the future

Jack says that he does “a million things everyday.” He gives marketing, editing and social media as examples. Jack also believes that the NFL rigs games to prevent the righteous winners from claiming victory. He believes he is one of the few people smart enough to see this.

We get a food fantasy from Jack about a huge plate of French fries: it’s topped with melted cheese and bits of bacon, all with a side of barbeque dipping sauce. The wendigo hungers; its mind pulses with the thought of food.

We close with Jack telling us that there is no way the okra went to the homeless because he believes okra to be poison. In Jack's mind giving vegetables to the homeless is tantamount to attempted murder.
You missed one of the funniest parts (to me). Someone brought up Tammy, either wanting to say hi or ask where she was. Jack said she was outside shoveling “BECAUSE SHE LIKES TO DO IT”. Later someone asked if Jr. is back from his fag football trip, Jack says that he was and said he was happy to hear the game yelling once again. Putting two and two together. Fat ass Sr. and Fat ass Jr. both let Tammy struggle with shoveling the driveway and porch by herself.

She came in after a while, clearly cold and tired and Jack goes “Did you shovel the porch too?” And she grunts out “Yes”. Then he instantly smiles and says “I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART”.

Total narc gross behavior. She should absolutely murder him in his sleep or put cyanide his next Costco chicken. I’m sure no jury would find her guilty after watching this.
 
Fuck this start of 24 arc has been just top notch Jack. Peak fat kino.

I love you all for your postings, from the good scientific stuff to memes to errors exposed.

Sadly at this rate I suspect health scare soon. This is been a non stop bullet train of some of the best Jack shit in years.
 
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