Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Señora Airi]

Gluten will make your dick fly off mmmk

---

As someone with celiac, people who go gluten free for a fad diet drive me nuts. They're the people that order a gluten free meal - with a regular beer, or patronize "gluten friendly" or "gluten reduced" establishments.

They'll somehow try to say that the beer is gluten free beer, even though 99.9% of all beers are brewed with barley.

 

[lindsayfan]

at first i thought this might be jack's massive hard-on protruding into the foreground of every shot

...perhaps a side effect of his proximity to so many delicious exotic meats?


it really reaches full engorgement here. jack clearly has a type


...but no (alas?) it's just a bag someone dropped on top of him, since tammy and her lesbian partner have come to rightly regard the spherical, mostly-dead dwarf in the Power Chair as basically a rolling luggage cart, a lopsidedly leering roomba that follows them through daily life asking plaintively "so what's this called again?"



best quote of the video:
"the asians, they have that artistic eye, i'm telling you."

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

And don't mind the obvious crate Fatty is standing on next to Montel Williams who is supposed to be 6'2" but somehow their belts are within only a couple inches of eachother while Montel is isn't really standing fully upright the entire time

"Living Well with Montel" featuring a fat manlet who has had 4 strokes before he's 55 is pretty funny.

 

[p1138]

"Living Well with Montel" featuring a fat manlet who has had 4 strokes before he's 55 is pretty funny.

Sure but they're also featuring Fatty cooking a lunch for himself, so it still fits.

In that last image, he's next to Todd English, who towers over him. Thing is, Todd English is 5'7". Jack confirmed for teeny obese manlet.
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5'7"? Damn, makes Fatty look even shorter than I figure he must normally be. But yeah, definitely a manlet, has the bare minimum of atrophied muscle mass because he refuses to expend any energy, while having a BMI near or at 50. He's spent the past year scooting around, can barely stand... hell he doesn't even do things that require getting in and out of the scooter if he can avoid it(he could still go for a scoot around the block and walk the damn dogs if he wanted to).

 

[Kosher Salt]

5'7"? Damn, makes Fatty look even shorter than I figure he must normally be.

I think part of that is forced perspective, since Todd is closer to the camera. But yeah, only part. Manlet confirmed.

 

[Bassomatic]

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?
He's :
Fat
Gay
Awful
Can't cook
Crippled
Manlet
Gay son
Fake Christian

I think honestly the can't cook part bothers him most because his chef persona is so tied to his ego.

 

[Harambe]

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?
He's :
Fat
Gay
Awful
Can't cook
Crippled
Manlet
Gay son
Fake Christian

I think honestly the can't cook part bothers him most because his chef persona is so tied to his ego.

it's crippled for sure he can't double fist baconators or dicks now

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?

If I had to put a finger on it, I would say what hurts Jagoff's feelers the most is the fact that deep down he knows he's a repulsively awful, stroked-out balding fat 5'3" retarded cripple egomaniac that's never been able to cook worth a shit even though he's prayed for over 15 years he actually could, same has he's prayed he's not really a closeted flamboyant faggot just like his wigger son is.

 

[Super Hans v2]

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?
He's :
Fat
Gay
Awful
Can't cook
Crippled
Manlet
Gay son
Fake Christian

I think honestly the can't cook part bothers him most because his chef persona is so tied to his ego.

Jack never seems to be bothered that he's a fag or can't get it up, coupled with how health issues also affect libido he's been effectively asexual for ~20 years. Being a fake Christian is easily fixable once you realize it, and Jack doesn't care much for Jr beyond the necessary.

For what bothers him, def that he can't cook for shit, close second that he's a cripple if only because he can no longer double fist GUD MEET into his face hole.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Sure but they're also featuring Fatty cooking a lunch for himself, so it still fits.

I watched the video and I am surprised the turkey didn't turn out raw

 

[p1138]

I think part of that is forced perspective, since Todd is closer to the camera. But yeah, only part. Manlet confirmed.

They're also taller than him in other camera shots, so in that particular one there's some forced perspective going on but yeah he's a manlet.

I watched the video and I am surprised the turkey didn't turn out raw

Pfft, they didn't let him cook that shit. He blathered on for a bit, and cut apart some turkey or whatever that someone else prepared. This being the only time I can think of Fatty ever appearing to look like a competent cook on camera, was clearly handled by someone else. More TV magic.

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?
He's :
Fat
Gay
Awful
Can't cook
Crippled
Manlet
Gay son
Fake Christian

I think honestly the can't cook part bothers him most because his chef persona is so tied to his ego.

You forgot to include alcoholic. However my vote would be Gay. His brand of Christianity doesn't work with being gay so he's in perpetual denial of it. The not wanting to accidentally touch a dog dick, the gay chemistry with his male friends on his show, his constant deflection about "political agendas" in movies, just on and on. He hates being gay/bi/whatever.

 

[densedance]

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?
He's :
Fat
Gay
Awful
Can't cook
Crippled
Manlet
Gay son
Fake Christian

I think honestly the can't cook part bothers him most because his chef persona is so tied to his ego.

None any off that. He's too much of a narcisstic cunt to care.

 

[Tiresome]

What do you think hurts Jacks feelings the most?

I think if you went after Jack as a fake Christian he would be absolutely furious because in America there is some sort of social taboo against standing up to people who put their religion directly in your face and then refuse to act according to any of its tenets.

 

[semitooth]

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oh my goodness how can one man be so based?

 

[densedance]

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

View attachment 5666777

WTF does this even mean? Is he referring to Brianna?

And also as someone who pisses money away on whatever Chineseium bullshit caught his eye at Costco that day that he "pays" for with Tammy's credit card shouldn't be giving any financial advice or thoughts.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

View attachment 5666777

Huh. I wasn't aware Jagoff had any outstanding student loans ...

 

[Marc]

Huh. I wasn't aware Jagoff had any outstanding student loans ...

He’s what Ralph Wiggum grew up to be after attending Bovine University.

 

[Super Hans v2]

View attachment 5666777

Unless Jack's just running his fat faggot mouth to give the world his cold takes, which is the most likely possibility, my guess is that that TamHam still has student loan debt, because when his health problems became more obvious she was at the age when people who have been putting off paying for them start to worry. But wouldn't that mean that Jack is admitting to a fault of his/theirs?

 

[topshrek]

Unless Jack's just running his fat faggot mouth to give the world his cold takes, which is the most likely possibility, my guess is that that TamHam still has student loan debt, because when his health problems became more obvious she was at the age when people who have been putting off paying for them start to worry. But wouldn't that mean that Jack is admitting to a fault of his/theirs?

I'm not sure if Jack is capable of the self-reflection needed to admit that his constant health crises are a direct result of his 30+ years of living a disgusting gluttonous lifestyle. He's always deflected his strokes as being the result of other factors like drinking too much coffee or God punishing him for not praying hard enough at his murderpastor's church