Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

• West Texas Investors Club - Jack says he was only crying because the guys were talking to him about his mom who had passed away recently. "The producers kept pushing me to act like I really needed the money."

What a loathesome fuck. I can't believe he's still trotting out this lie. His mom died something like four years before he cried like a bitch on that show.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

We start off our weekly snooze fest with some politisperging about the Jan 6 incident in Washington. Jack once again reiterates that the NFL “pre-decides” the outcome of the games to keep the true winners away from righteous glory.

Jack basically admits that he does nothing on the show with Tammy doing all the work. Someone asks him if Tammy punched him in the nads and he reads it out loud on stream.

Carnivore is healing Jack's arm! Before Jack's dead arm used to curl up like the legs of a dead spider, but ever since carnivore the arm just “hangs down freely.” Surely, Jack is soon to be cured inshallah!

According to Jack, he has only had 3 strokes and it’s all of the stupid hadurs that think that he has had 5. Apparently, the only reason Jack has strokes is because of his mothers poor genes. He says diet may have had something to do with it, but diet only finished the job genes started.

Jack himself has actually admitted to 5 strokes:

• 1999 mini-stroke
• 2008 stroke
• 2011 stroke
• 2018 stroke
• 2023 stroke

Jack is angy about all the “stupid questions'' he is asked in his chat. He says: “You literally have to open your mouth and say something that makes no sense.” Jack blames his chat for his anger. Jack also tells us that we don’t need to keep analyzing things. He says we should stop taking notes on him.

Jack talks about his time on WTIC. In Jacks account of events the producers forced him against his will to cry. They said: “Act like you need the money” and also he only cried because his mother recently passed away. This is an outright fabrication as the investors were willing to invest in Jack if he gave them a piece of his YouTube channel and he refused, killing the deal.

 

[topshrek]

"so we set the temperature to 120 because that is the rare that I like"

THAT'S FUCKING RAW.

This man has a drawer full of meat thermometers, and cooks a fucking chuck roast to 120? No wonder his "lunch" looked like a fucking raw mess. He'd have been better off just doing his half-assed sear as it came out of the fridge than bothering with the fucking sous vide, because he just let bacteria grow for half a day. Even the little "crust" he thinks he put on there... that's not a fucking crust either. He just warmed it a bit. And with the 30+ knife sets he's bought, Tammy can't fucking cut through it for shit because the damned connective tissue and shit isn't cooked. And the fact that he managed to do this with a god damned sous vide... how is he this fucking stupid? ALMOST EVERY DAMNED MEAT THERMOMETER HAS A LITTLE CHART ON IT. I don't even think my fucking sous vide starts at 120.

It really is amazing that this is a man that's been LARPing as a chef for nearly two decades, yet in all that time he hasn't absorbed a single new culinary technique that could make him a better chef than the average toddler. He truly has embraced the "Lazy Man" ethos as a lifestyle, his commitment is astounding

 

[Mundane Ralph]

You're not supposed to sous vide anything, let alone raw meat, under 130.

You can, but not for more than 2 hours.

 

[Crex Crex]

Today is exactly one year since the stroke

Against all odds.

 

[Pig Cups]

At first:

How does this man shit? Actually, I don't want to think about that.

Probably with a thunderous bellow followed by him telling Tammy that the toilet suddenly broke again or got clogged and she needs to fix it.

But then:

Jack says on carnivore he only poops every 2-3 days.

A BM every 2-3 days isn’t healthy, since most of us typically go at the normal frequency of least once a day. And with his appalling diet…! His gut microbiome and bowels must be such a fucking graveyard. If you were shrunk, put into a submersible, and put into Jack’s body (à la Dennis Quaid in 1987’s Innerspace), something like this is what would likely greet you at the end of the lower esophageal sphincter:

Fecal impaction saga when? My deepest sympathies to the doctor who has to provide the treatment…

With all ^that taken into account, I imagine that Jack taking a shit is a long production that sounds like a warthog in grueling labor, with Tammy by his side for support and encouragement. For Jack, taking a shit probably feels like passing a rock through a tight, marble tube. And while Tammy is silently wiping afterwards, he perplexedly muses to her about what was hurting him so much.

 

[densedance]

Carniwhore diet

 

[Kosher Salt]

This is an outright fabrication as the investors were willing to invest in Jack if he gave them a piece of his YouTube channel and he refused, killing the deal.

They dodged a bullet.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Carniwhore diet

View attachment 5671329

Wtf is the top right picture. None of those appear to be carnivore or particularly appetizing.

 

[p1138]

That's at least 3000 calories right there. Assuming there's at least a pound for each, that's 1800 for the cheese and 1100 for the beef. The cheese is much more calorie-dense than the beef, I could see that alone being at least 2500 calories.

Also, Jack's been hitting the booze again. (Is that why his right side is so pink?)

View attachment 5670064

At first:


But then:


A BM every 2-3 days isn’t healthy, since most of us typically go at the normal frequency of least once a day. And with his appalling diet…! His gut microbiome and bowels must be such a fucking graveyard. If you were shrunk, put into a submersible, and put into Jack’s body (à la Dennis Quaid in 1987’s Innerspace), something like this is what would likely greet you at the end of the lower esophageal sphincter:
View attachment 5671310
Fecal impaction saga when? My deepest sympathies to the doctor who has to provide the treatment…

With all ^that taken into account, I imagine that Jack taking a shit is a long production that sounds like a warthog in grueling labor, with Tammy by his side for support and encouragement. For Jack, taking a shit probably feels like passing a rock through a tight, marble tube. And while Tammy is silently wiping afterwards, he perplexedly muses to her about what was hurting him so much.

This is exactly why I assumed when he whined about the handicap stall being in use at the movie theater, that he was just taking a leak. What was WingsofRedemptions story about his grandma? Claimed a turd went "sideways" and she had to dig it out for him? This is Fatty's regular life now.

Jim Scalfani does "product development" for "stores". "He's the best product developer I know."

Yeah, this would be the same Jim that got his stupid sauce into a handful of walmarts, and eventually was working at adorama and got him that chinese audio gear for free.

It really is amazing that this is a man that's been LARPing as a chef for nearly two decades, yet in all that time he hasn't absorbed a single new culinary technique that could make him a better chef than the average toddler. He truly has embraced the "Lazy Man" ethos as a lifestyle, his commitment is astounding

This is why Kay's Cooking is infinitely better than Fatty. She doesn't pretend to be a chef, regularly makes content, only poisons her closest relatives with her food, accepts criticism, and makes improvements on rare occasion. With this sous vide at 120 shit, Fatty is obviously going backwards. If he had set it for 125, it probably would have actually looked cooked and still been within rare instead of hitting what could possibly be medium rare. But no, we've got a fat moron who looked up the absolutely bottom end of a steak temperature chart and thinks that's somehow acceptable, and to do it for most of a day... so fucking disgusting...

 

[curbside2]

Wtf is the top right picture. None of those appear to be carnivore or particularly appetizing.

Did some digging on the menu and I think it's the "pork belly bites".

 

[Tiresome]

*sets watch for Jack rage when someone asks why there's green on every single one of those plates*

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Did some digging on the menu and I think it's the "pork belly bites".

Looks like a good amount of Asian BBQ sauce on them.

 

[curbside2]

Looks like a good amount of Asian BBQ sauce on them.

He's going to find every manor possible to cheat on this diet.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

He's going to find every manor possible to cheat on this diet.

I think the lower right is the roasted chicken aglio olio without the pasta...why.

 

[Harambe]

Unless the picture is skewed that is a ton of cheese. How does this man shit? Actually, I don't want to think about that.

one of my boys is on the carnivore
he tells me that if you actually stick to carnivore you barely shit

for jack this is probably authentically life extending because of exertion shitting is so dangerous to him

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

has converted to Islam,

Mohammidians btfo.

 

[topshrek]

Carniwhore diet

View attachment 5671329

Is Jack aware that green onions aren't meat? I guarantee there's plenty of sugar in whatever sauce is on that pork belly. Nothing from this restaurant appears to be CARNUHVOR, yet Jack will continue to swear up and down about how committed he is to the meaty lifestyle despite his unchanging sugar levels

 

[Super Hans v2]

He's going to find every manor possible to cheat on this diet.

He did say that any animal product or what comes out a shaker is fair game for his 'diet.' Maybe the chef shook the produce out of the Sysco bag?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Unless the picture is skewed that is a ton of cheese. How does this man shit? Actually, I don't want to think about that.

He shouldn't be eating cheese on carnivore anyway. It's an occasional thing because of the lactose but this faggot eats it every day.

That's definitely not cooked meat. It was barely browned on the outside in a pan and cut up. Look at the piece the fork is sitting on top of, there's nothing cooked about that at all. Fucking disgusting.

It's been cooked, just low heat and then put in the fridge because it looks cold. That fat? Barely rendered so I'm thinking it was cooked sous-vide but not long enough actually do it any good.

Then hit hit it with some heat to try to brown it on the outside but the Wendigo wanted it now now NOW!

He also did it at 120 which is kind of danger zone shit. You could probably get a decent result with 140 for 24 hours. Some people like doing chuck like a steak. As for me, I almost always do a roast with it, or have them grind it for a great lean hamburger.

Best way to do chuck is braise it low and slow with onions and jalapenos until it's fork tender. Brown the hell out of it first until it's dark then braise. Serve with egg noodles or shred it and serve it on a bun or in a wrap.