Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AmazingEagle]

Read everything else in it though from his call about him spicing up his dishes just to keep Hammy from eating anything to everything else. He called every single twist and turn of the thread. It's way more than him just being shit at cooking.

@Gentlebastard should change his name to Nostradamus.

 

[Tiresome]

@Gentlebastard should change his name to Nostradamus.

Not least of which for the fact he somehow made a post 5 years before he joined the farms.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

@Gentlebastard created the current OP for the thread a couple years ago because the old OP has long since fucked off from the Farms and the old thread OP was trash like most olde tyme ones were. I don't know what programming magic the mods did to replace the old OP with the new one considering it involved different users, but good on them and Gentlebastard. It's really well done. The thread dearly needed it since it's still active enough to be almost 3000 pages long almost nine years later.

 

[AmazingEagle]

Can we talk about how bland Jack's merch is?

 

[Major]

meat is meat. Certainly is

 

[Bassomatic]

My favorite of his shit merch is the logos. Like anyone aside us knows what Jerking Off Ten Guys means or Chugging White Jizz.

His going out videos are getting sadder but, funnier. No one mentioned Tammy got a second twice baked? Kek. Or Jack slipping up "Tammy will take the first bite" yeah Jack ate that himself and tam ham had to order one for her own fat ass.

 

[Gentlebastard]

He even goes as far to say “Joe Rogan did it” when listing reasons why this diet will be fine.

He apparently forgot/strokebrained/doesn't know/ignored that Rogan is a health nut and, in addition to actually following the diet by eating only lean muscle, the man exercises on a daily basis and does martial arts training, leads an active lifestyle, and does regular blood tests and supplements when necessary. And, perhaps more importantly, isn't a retarded couch potato with half a dozen strokes bouncing around in his noggin.

And, to further drive the point home, you couldn't pick a rando from the street and have them guess that both Jack and Rogan are in their mid-50s. I even know better looking septuagenarians, and even an old lady in her early 100s that could walk and talk circles around this useless tub of lard.

@Gentlebastard created the current OP for the thread a couple years ago because the old OP has long since fucked off from the Farms and the old thread OP was trash like most olde tyme ones were. I don't know what programming magic the mods did to replace the old OP with the new one considering it involved different users, but good on them and Gentlebastard. It's really well done. The thread dearly needed it since it's still active enough to be almost 3000 pages long almost nine years later.

The new OP was created, if I'm not mistaken, just before the Keffals Kerfuffle began, and lingered in Proving Grounds for a while as the site went on and offline during that time. One day, I managed to login and found out a mod had copied the text and pasted it on the original post. Some time later, Dear Feeder worked his magic and made my original PG post the new OP. That's all there is to it.

 

[Crex Crex]

Can we talk about how bland Jack's merch is?

View attachment 5685776

Fucking lol this is the laziest one, looks like it's been made in five seconds with GIMP. I think the "CWJ" is even off center.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

It's true that he's using sugary rubs (the steak rub he recently used was full of maltodextrin and corn syrup solids), but I doubt it's because he just didn't check the bottle. He's shown us with his fat on the go episodes that he's been cheating from the very start. He knows he's eating sugar and vegetables everyday while claiming to be carnivore but he doesn't care because the diet is purely performative.

He said, early on, that he wasn't looking at seasoning as part of the diet which is just stupid.

Like any diet you need to check to make sure you're not eating what you're not supposed to. This diet, like all others, he fucks up. Remember "Profile by Sandford"? Remember when he was "leaning keto"? Remember when he was doing "Power90-X"? All of these things failed because he could never put in the effort to stop eating crap. He'd either overeat, eat the wrong things or think that having one bite of a Bacon Bourbon BBQ Burger would be okay even if the bread and sugary sauce would be enough to kick him out of ketosis. Assuming he was in ketosis for a second of his "diet".

The man is addicted to food and will literally eat himself to death.

You don't need to be a chef to know how pathetic his cooking is.

No but based on his actual fans you do need to have the right number of chromosomes to know that his cooking sucks.

Not least of which for the fact he somehow made a post 5 years before he joined the farms.

He's a wizard.

 

[Shiki Ouji]

Didn't see this posted in the thread. It's always a great time when these two galactic beluga brains collide.

 

[Dr. Matthew C. Harris]

Can we talk about how bland Jack's merch is?

View attachment 5685776View attachment 5685777View attachment 5685778View attachment 5685779View attachment 5685780

If anybody comes at me wearing a MEAT IS MEAT sweater I'm going to assume they're a goddamn serial killer. What the fuck, who would wear that? It's not even an edgy metal band shirt, it's not black, it doesn't have anything else to it, it's just something really weird that has no subcultural identifier attached to it. Its placelessness runs completely contrary to the way society works, society expect the outcasts to form identifiable outcast groups.

Unironically schizotypal insanity. If he manages to sell a single sweater I'll let Jack eat my left arm.

 

[Kulee Baba]

If anybody comes at me wearing a MEAT IS MEAT sweater I'm going to assume they're a goddamn serial killer. What the fuck, who would wear that? It's not even an edgy metal band shirt, it's not black, it doesn't have anything else to it, it's just something really weird that has no subcultural identifier attached to it. Its placelessness runs completely contrary to the way society works, society expect the outcasts to form identifiable outcast groups.

Unironically schizotypal insanity. If he manages to sell a single sweater I'll let Jack eat my left arm.

It's supposed to be a pithy counter to "Meat is Murder" a slogan I don't think has used anyone has used in a debate in the last 20 years. But what do you expect from a man in his 50s?

 

[lindsayfan]

If anybody comes at me wearing a MEAT IS MEAT sweater I'm going to assume they're a goddamn serial killer. What the fuck, who would wear that? It's not even an edgy metal band shirt, it's not black, it doesn't have anything else to it, it's just something really weird that has no subcultural identifier attached to it. Its placelessness runs completely contrary to the way society works, society expect the outcasts to form identifiable outcast groups.

Unironically schizotypal insanity. If he manages to sell a single sweater I'll let Jack eat my left arm.

lol, well said.

i think jack somehow imagines this is like a contrarian or macho maverick-y 'truth-to-power' statement, even though it actually makes no fucking sense at all and does, in fact, look like something that would only be worn by an irl cannibal or someone who's advocating for some unwholesome or controversial new dimension of animal consumption.

MEAT IS MEAT
(sponsored by: planned parenthood deli franchise)

MEAT IS MEAT
(sponsored by: tennessee rat ranchers advocacy PAC)

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Jack is one of the few people stupid enough to starve to death at a buffet.

"Why wasn't I told that I could get the food myself?"

"Um, sir....this is a buffet. It's implied that you go to the table and get it yourself'

"I'm giving this place 1/10....no, i'm giving it a zero because you're not shoveling the food directly down my throat"

Necroposting, but the Wynn incident is so ridiculous that it’s always relevant (and recently revisited on PCTLM).

I’ve been to the Wynn buffet. I got the “premium package” which is nothing more than paying in advance for priority seating, Truth be told this was not even necessary as we were seated immediately upon arrival, but I was not interested in taking chances, so I did my own research.

The Wynn buffet is nothing more than superb. I’m not a buffet guy by any means, but this was a delightful experiece. The service and food was absolutely spot on.

I thought of Jack‘s deprecated arm (his candy claw) as I feasted on multiple types of crab legs And lobster. Jack couldn’t do this because he needs two hands. I was extremely thankful for the use of both of my hands so that I could try all of the fresh squeezed juices and enjoy the salmon salad and caviar bar. I was thankful to be able to shrug off a $600+ bill for my family (inclusive of alcoholic drink packages). Jack wasn’t thankful for anything on thanksgiving. He was a malcontent asshole to everyone.

I was also thankful that my wife hit a table game after the meal and won $1500, and offered to pay me back for the meal. But I was thankfull that she won, and i told her to keep the money (promptly spent on anothet Pair of Loubs)

I fully recommend the Wynn buffet. but Please don’t dress like a slob. You’ll stand out amongst the mostly European tourist clientele. But do go hungry, and eat slow (unlike sloppy americans like Jack).


save room for dessert. Holy shit my brothers in Christ. The dessert menu is a preview of heaven.

Lastly, Tip your waiter as if it’s a normal meal. You’re at the fucking Wynn. Look around you. Notice the brass inlays in the tile floor. Notice the thick pile carpets. Notice the artwork and attention to detail everywhere. This isn’t a place that pinches Pennies anywhere. This is the classiest resort in Vegas. Act appropriately.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

So in the new wing warz, he declares the barrel house is tied for first place with jumbo delicious. He says it twice. But the last place he went was...not jumbo delicious? I think he may not be an accurate warz historian, and now we are all doomed to repeat it.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

So in the new wing warz, he declares the barrel house is tied for first place with jumbo delicious. He says it twice. But the last place he went was...not jumbo delicious? I think he may not be an accurate warz historian, and now we are all doomed to repeat it.

He's done videos on jumbo and delicious before and in the last wing wars video he mentioned that jumbo and delicious was still the best.

 

[Remember to dilate]

Didn't see this posted in the thread. It's always a great time when these two galactic beluga brains collide.

Best part in this is when Charles talks about how he practices dry firing his gun in the garage like a mall ninja with a katana. It's also pretty pathetic he goes to gun classes twice a week where they shoot Lazer guns at targets. This will definitely help when the apocalypse comes.

 

[Adamska]

Didn't see this posted in the thread. It's always a great time when these two galactic beluga brains collide.

Love the cowardice in avoiding demonetization here with the thumbnail. It's not going to matter because of the title, but I just find it amusing Jack tried to be cute with this one.

Best part in this is when Charles talks about how he practices dry firing his gun in the garage like a mall ninja with a katana. It's also pretty pathetic he goes to gun classes twice a week where they shoot Lazer guns at targets. This will definitely help when the apocalypse comes.

Too much of a puss to actually just snag a box of ammo and go down to a range. Also if it's a rimfire piece he can run risk of damaging it; most guns aren't bothered by dry fire anymore due to modern manufacturing, but still.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

Come on in close, foodjacks, and get ready for some sugar wings.

Here is the rub he used:

 

[Johnny Apple Sneed]

Come on in close, foodjacks, and get ready for some sugar wings.

Here is the rub he used:
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Good to see Tammy cooking up viewer suggestions