Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[NerdShamer]

I've noticed for men, their big chins are way more noticeable after trooning out. I don't know if it's the makeup or what

It's probably the excessive makeup and lack of facial hair

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

I've noticed for men, their big chins are way more noticeable after trooning out. I don't know if it's the makeup or what. My ex's chin didn't seem all that big until looking at his recent photos. It's like holy shit lol

I think it's because they are trying ape a look that is built from a small lady chin and what makes that look good. There is reason why women and men have different haircuts even when they have the same hair length. On a guy the lady styling just makes the not fitting features stand out. If those guys switch back to regular dude look you wouldn't notice chin because that style fits to male chin.

This isn't an exclusively troon thing either. I remember from my high school years a girl who had a tall slender fashion model body but she looked incredible awkward despite being overall good looking. Her problem was that she was copying her friend's style but her friend was a short curvy girl. A shirt that emphasized the short girls curves, made the tall girl look like a board because she didn't have boobs to show off like that.

 

[grenouille crétine]

For awhile I felt sad about them all abandoning me since they've forgiven other people in the group for their toxicity, even though those people had a support system. I was dealing with abuse and all that. But i guess I REALLY dodged a bullet, huh. Crazy to think how better my life is in comparison considering I was the one who started off so poorly.

Glad to hear you’re doing better than those twerps now. I had a very similar experience with some former friends—it boggles the mind how people will forgive serial, unrepentant assholes who have more than the means to Not be like that, but heaven forbid someone who’s in an abusive household or relationship ever be less than a perfect martyr. I hope you have much better friends now!

Your 20s isn't the "fuck around and find out later" era like mainstream media loves to paint. It is a crucial time to build good habits because the habits you have in your 20s will carry over for years to come.

I am a bit of a doomer anyway but I am legitimately worried for future generations. The internet is no place for children, and now kids are being born to parents who definitely know better but still allow them to get addicted to screens in infancy anyway. Between porn, troonism, AI vomit (literally, regurgitated content) being touted as art, proliferation of ragebait, schools not keeping up with old media literacy let alone new, and so many fucking pedophiles in apparently every public sphere ever and nothing done about it, it is worrisome. And that philosophy you mention is central to much of it: unbridled hedonism, expecting others to clean up your mistakes, not even really knowing how to genuinely interact with others people outside purely transactional relationships etc. bc they struggle to see others as anything other than NPCs.

It is equal parts fascinating and horrifying to imagine the future with those kids at its helm. This is what humans have made for ourselves, the best and the worst alike.

 

[Jacques1194]

Ok so i have an update on this one online TIF i know, and starting to connect the dots.She admitted to me she was a victim of grooming when she was younger, and now it turns out she once again was groomed online by someone that the two of us knew online that turned out to be pedophile.Like i feel bad for this girl.She's autistic and has been groomed twice, its no wonder she's fucking trooning out of womanhood.I sadly feel like there's nothing i can do and just hope that she realizes that transitioning wont bring peace to herself.

Ok so update on this TIF.I have a question to ask here.Does anyone know how long it takes for a TIFs voice to get deeper once she starts taking testosterone?The reason I ask is because she stated last summer that she was approved for starting testosterone by her doctor, and she came into a discord call recently this week, but her voice sounds the exact same before starting T.Its not deep at all.I dont know if its because the voice changing takes more time or if something happened, but if its the latter then I dont know if she either changed her mind or wanted to wait a bit longer, cause her voice should of been deeper by now, and yet it isn't.

 

[grenouille crétine]

Does anyone know how long it takes for a TIFs voice to get deeper once she starts taking testosterone?

Only a few weeks, around a month, for it to start sounding froggy; continues to drop over time depending on dosage, beginning register, how much vocal exercise they do or don’t do etc. Most of the changes from T are quite rapid, beginning within that timeframe, many ofc nonreversible.

Hopefully she came to her senses and didn’t take it, or even if she’s “waiting” there’s still time to desist. If she sounds the same, I’d assume she either didn’t start at all, or potentially JUST started taking it.

Many pooners obviously never achieve anything close to a male register, some get the timbre but still have typical female inflections and speech patterns, others get vocal damage and struggle to speak at all. Not great outcomes. I hope your friend is safe and doing better now.

 

[Chandelier]

Found out through searching through Facebook that a former male classmate of mine trooned out. I did a double take when I saw the photo, but I recognized the facial structure.

We weren't close, nor friends, but we spoke from time to time. I remember him most as a well to do kid, quite intelligent - we both suffered under a very shitty biology teacher who graded up poorly on the curriculum he couldn't teach properly - with a soft boyish face.

Now he's wearing a fugly mustard sweater, dyed his hair brown, and goes by "Pen". He's my age, and yet looks several decades older. It's a terrible shame. He wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but cute and was never cruel.

Small world. We didn't come from a large town, and he lives in the libshit capital Ottawa now.

 

[deermeat]

He's my age, and yet looks several decades older.

That seems to be the case with most TiM troons, huh? My ex and his friend looks like they are in their late 30s/40s despite being in their early 20s.
A lot of troons love to try and manipulate these men by claiming they will look "young". But... Where? Where are these troons who look younger than they actually are? I'm being serious. If anyone can show me examples, I'd love to see it. They all look like they're older than they are, and they all look like they take drugs. Even Blair White, who had multiple surgeries, does not look younger than he is.

 

[AfghanBlue]

What is gonna happen to these people? In the long run. I keep wondering that... I'm young, they are all young. We are in our early 20s. But stuff like this has an impact that will affect you all the way into your 60s if you don't escape sooner. It's like overeating or alcoholism, the more you wait to fix the situation the more fucked you are. Your 20s isn't the "fuck around and find out later" era like mainstream media loves to paint. It is a crucial time to build good habits because the habits you have in your 20s will carry over for years to come.

I wonder about this.
I seem them as a sort of millenerial cut-that is, one that is expecting some big happening - some vague unconsidered notion, somewhere between Trans Genocide, and them being the (impossible) 2d anime girl of their dreams.
They are autists who are media informed.
They are waiting for a happily ever after, roll credits, fade to black.
When... Nothing happens, they pooter along, no one either comes to save them or kill them, they just... Are, but on a much lower level of existence than they otherwise could be, they are gonna start really freaking out.
They have basically started life over because they didn't like where they were, they thought it must be better over there. Eventually, and it won't take very long, the grass will start looking greener over where they've just come from.

This will be the big, quiet, slow motion crisis for all these faux troons - the ones who transition to transition indefinitely, rather than to just be a man /woman and move on.
They need to be in a constant flux of change and eventually they will run out of things to cut off, scar tissue to try to "revise". The ones deep in surgery will be able to float along in that cloud of bullshit a little longer, but they will still reach the same end point, just in much worse shape.

 

[Thursday]

Another friend trooned out and is now asking how he can be more feminine on twitter.

I really don't get it. The entire point prior to it becoming a social contagion was how they always heavily aligned more with the opposite sex (most just being gay) but now it's nothing more than an obnoxious fashion trend. I really don't think I can remain friends with anyone who was stupid enough to fall for this but I'm bad at burning bridges.

 

[The Ugly One]

I've noticed for men, their big chins are way more noticeable after trooning out. I don't know if it's the makeup or what. My ex's chin didn't seem all that big until looking at his recent photos. It's like holy shit lol

Your brain notices contrasts and things that are out of place. A male-sized chin on a male face and male body is just normal, it's just a chin, your brain doesn't even take notice.

A male-sized face framed by a girly hairdo with girly makeup, and your brain goes "hey, girly things, maybe that's one of us, wait, what the fuck is that chin, sister, LOOK at that chin, can you BELIEVE that creep, LOOK AT THAT FUCKIN CHIN oh my GOD it's like a fuckin REFRIGERATOR right on his FUCKIN FACE."

 

[Evilronald]

My ex trooned out, alongside his entire friend group (I mentioned the one guy here) and now they all obsess over anime girls and lesbians while being in a cuck poly relationship talking to mTf troons in their 30s+ who barely pass alongide many other troons who don't pass, posting online about how shitty they feel and overall trying to be "quirky"- here's me thinking he was actually a pretty decent guy. I was the toxic one in the relationship, this was when we were 16-18. For awhile I felt sad about them all abandoning me since they've forgiven other people in the group for their toxicity, even though those people had a support system. I was dealing with abuse and all that. But i guess I REALLY dodged a bullet, huh. Crazy to think how better my life is in comparison considering I was the one who started off so poorly.

I've noticed for men, their big chins are way more noticeable after trooning out. I don't know if it's the makeup or what. My ex's chin didn't seem all that big until looking at his recent photos. It's like holy shit lol

What is gonna happen to these people? In the long run. I keep wondering that... I'm young, they are all young. We are in our early 20s. But stuff like this has an impact that will affect you all the way into your 60s if you don't escape sooner. It's like overeating or alcoholism, the more you wait to fix the situation the more fucked you are. Your 20s isn't the "fuck around and find out later" era like mainstream media loves to paint. It is a crucial time to build good habits because the habits you have in your 20s will carry over for years to come.

In the long run: they’re going to be in constant suffering and have health problems we aren’t even aware of yet. They won’t have a family, they’ll be lonely, and wanting to push others to make the same poor choice they did. Individuals that choose the trans lifestyle are down a dark path where there is no return. You’re blessed to have those people remove themselves from your life.

Try not to be too hard on yourself: acknowledging that you made mistakes and attempting to address them is something most people twice your age don’t do. And also understand that the people claiming you were the toxic one are delusional. Plus most kids 16-18 are toxic at that age: it’s totally normal. Ask any millennial and we’ll admit we did stupid things as kids too.

 

[Sonalee Rashitwar]

I’m zooming out a bit as I think about this phenomenon of transing teenagers.

I think this is sort of another destructive social trend that can happen with teens, especially girls. There was the Kate Moss/ED thing in the 90s, cutting in the 00’s, etc.

Maybe the explosion in trans youth is kind of like that.

Ironically, I’m in a certain age group where I’ve experienced both the trans phenomenon and, as a teen, an absolute explosion in rates of self-harm.

And I think that stopped me, as a gender nonconforming dyke with life struggles, from transitioning. And for some perspective, yes, I’m scarred from stupid decisions and addiction as an emo kid, but I’m not losing body parts or fertility or needing medicine for life.

Top irony: regretting one stupid, destructive trend gave me enough perspective to realize I could regret the trans thing. And really might have saved me from transitioning.

Spoiler: Spoiler for length and medfag stuff

I hope I did a spoiler right. But the destructiveness of the 00’s “fad” of sorts, cutting, only led to medical issues, regret, and shame for me. About four years, total, of regularly self-harming. Don’t do it, kids, it’s awful, addictive, and will come back to bite you even in unexpected ways. Even if you’re very clean, careful, and manage to dodge accident or infection, you can FUBAR your blood counts and electrolyte levels. But of course, you wouldn’t tell people what you’re doing, right? So it gets worse and worse.


Finally all came crashing down around my ears after 3+ years because I was losing so. much. blood. all the time, and periods didn’t help. Iron levels and related stuff you kind of need in blood absolutely tanked, I had had deficiency symptoms for years, shrugged them off. Eventually had the dubious luck to faint around someone who worked in health care, so she figured it all out pretty quickly.

And not a few months too soon, either. Iron levels were (not a typo, not 14, fucking 4.2). I had to get several nasty infusions and get cardiac testing to see if there was damage. If I have the genetic heart problem from my family, I’ll probably experience it earlier and worse than my dad did.

Ironically, this means that it’s a very bad idea for me to take testosterone, because that’s also very hard on the heart. Maybe God has a sense of humor, because it really feels like one “fad” saved me from another here.

 

[AfghanBlue]

They won’t have a family, they’ll be lonely,

Maybe they'll do the thing that kids do where you play family's, and one troon plays the mummy and daddy and baby and the weird kid plays the dog.

OH WAIT THEY ALREADY DO THAT SHIT.

 

[Palla Strozzi]

I have just found out that my cousin (a software engineer, natch) has trooned out (MtF). He was always quite gender-nonconforming, a bit of a "sissy;" but I'm pretty sure that social contagion is playing a big part in this (his industry/friendgroup). The troon-out itself wouldn't be such a big deal for me, but he is going to have the SRS and I am terrified (this is why I have been told about it). Thinking about this causes my heart to start pounding like crazy. My aunt and uncle have been crying for days on end.
The problem is that he is 26 and there isn't much that can be done when someone is a full-blown adult and legally capable of making their own decisions.
This thread might not be the right place, but does anyone with experience of this sort of thing have any advice on how we might try to stop this? I know he will regret it and that it is a very dangerous procedure. I feel very very strongly that he has to be stopped from having the operation, but I also know that it will be extremely difficult to convince him otherwise and/or get any help to stop it somehow (in the current climate). But I also know that people do pull back from getting the surgery.
Would be very interested to hear from anyone who might have helpful advice. Thanks in advance kiwis.

 

[grenouille crétine]

I know he will regret it and that it is a very dangerous procedure.

Ritchie Herron is one name you can investigate—he’s an autistic adult in his 30s from the UK who is suing the NHS after they pressured him into removing his bits. He deliberated for years and kept stopping short of doing it, but ultimately they manipulated him into it by saying they’d discharge him from psychiatric care altogether if he didn’t want it (something seems backwards there, huh?). The pre-surgery “consult” was in a group setting. He and Michelle Alleva (Canadian detransitioner, also suing) are two adult detransitioners I know of, both of whom are autistic, gay, and with a history of depression/other mental health issues that were ignored by so-called health care professionals in favor of pushing transition. Ritchie had horrific post-surgical complications and Michelle’s surgeries afaik went “well” but understandably still traumatized her after she realized they were unnecessary; there’s plenty of troons posted here whose surgeons abandoned them too, and another (American) detransitioner who had a mastectomy at 19 named Soren Aldaco is suing for how botched her initial surgery was, as well as how her surgeon ignored her afterward. She’s one of the young ones who can be a bit stupid, but what happened to her is still terrible.

I’m sure you already are anticipating fights and pain with your cousin about this. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. He may not be receptive, he may act like a brat about it and push you away—but then again, he just might listen, and you will have saved him so much pain.

My advice is to ask him what he hopes to get out of this. Have the facts in your pocket, ready to offer in pieces, but make him cogitate on just exactly why he’s so eager to go down this road. It’s understandably tempting to go on the offensive immediately—but start with a fishing trip. He could be gay or bi and ashamed of it; he could be jealous of how he thinks women live without being a full-fledged incel (yet); he could feel hopeless about hetero romance and believe the yarns he’s seen about “transbians” scoring; he could be passively suicidal and thinks this will give him a reason to live. I don’t know what type of stuff he might really have going on. It might be stupid online fetish shit that got echoed one too many times and scrambled him up, or it may be pretty heavy/deep.

Again, you shouldn’t have to be in this situation at all. “Medical professionals” are forcing families between a rock and a hard place by making it such that anyone who questions the negative behaviors and delusions accompanying troonism, shit that would fit right into a typical drug addict’s toolkit, is ack-shully the bad guy. The asking questions thing is of course really their job, but they can’t be trusted to do it effectively, so it falls on the upset families and friends who haven’t already partook of the troonshine, all with the risk of being excommunicated and getting called a bigot for the crime of caring about someone. But I hope he appreciates you reaching out.

Best of luck fren.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

This thread might not be the right place, but does anyone with experience of this sort of thing have any advice on how we might try to stop this?

The only thing I can think of is to stage an intervention with his parents and loved ones. In that intervention, focus on stopping him from having the surgery. Don't tackle the whole trans thing all at once, he'll just get defensive. But tell him that while you respect his identity and all that (lie if you must), you are extremely worried about the surgery and want him to take time to think before making an irreversible decision. Point to the detransitioners that @cretin metins mentioned and maybe find more, Benjamin Boyce on YouTube has many interviews. If he dislikes detransitioners you can point to Corinna Cohn and Shape Shifter who are MTF who have not detransitioned, but have still spoken out again the surgeries and suffered serious complications/regrets.

I know people here might not agree with essentially lying and saying you respect his transness, but if the priority is to stop the surgery first and foremost I'd approach it like this. You can chip away at the other nonsense later.

 

[Fapcop]

I have just found out that my cousin (a software engineer, natch) has trooned out (MtF). He was always quite gender-nonconforming, a bit of a "sissy;" but I'm pretty sure that social contagion is playing a big part in this (his industry/friendgroup). The troon-out itself wouldn't be such a big deal for me, but he is going to have the SRS and I am terrified (this is why I have been told about it). Thinking about this causes my heart to start pounding like crazy. My aunt and uncle have been crying for days on end.
The problem is that he is 26 and there isn't much that can be done when someone is a full-blown adult and legally capable of making their own decisions.
This thread might not be the right place, but does anyone with experience of this sort of thing have any advice on how we might try to stop this? I know he will regret it and that it is a very dangerous procedure. I feel very very strongly that he has to be stopped from having the operation, but I also know that it will be extremely difficult to convince him otherwise and/or get any help to stop it somehow (in the current climate). But I also know that people do pull back from getting the surgery.
Would be very interested to hear from anyone who might have helpful advice. Thanks in advance kiwis.

Feels man.

That fucking sucks.

The only thing you can do really, is to prevent him with some REAL information. The nine side effects, complications and botched results that you can find here on the farms in the SRS thread.

At least then you will have done your moral duty.

I assume he’s getting it in the UK? UK operations under the NHS are particularly bad from what I have seen.

 

[Risky Horse Business]

I have just found out that my cousin (a software engineer, natch) has trooned out (MtF). He was always quite gender-nonconforming, a bit of a "sissy;" but I'm pretty sure that social contagion is playing a big part in this (his industry/friendgroup). The troon-out itself wouldn't be such a big deal for me, but he is going to have the SRS and I am terrified (this is why I have been told about it). Thinking about this causes my heart to start pounding like crazy. My aunt and uncle have been crying for days on end.
The problem is that he is 26 and there isn't much that can be done when someone is a full-blown adult and legally capable of making their own decisions.
This thread might not be the right place, but does anyone with experience of this sort of thing have any advice on how we might try to stop this? I know he will regret it and that it is a very dangerous procedure. I feel very very strongly that he has to be stopped from having the operation, but I also know that it will be extremely difficult to convince him otherwise and/or get any help to stop it somehow (in the current climate). But I also know that people do pull back from getting the surgery.
Would be very interested to hear from anyone who might have helpful advice. Thanks in advance kiwis.

It's a cult. You can't deprogram him. You can send information, he doesn't have to look.

I think I would be honest with him about the long term effects, and let them know you support him either way.

sorry.

 

[AfghanBlue]

The only thing I can think of is to stage an intervention with his parents and loved ones. In that intervention, focus on stopping him from having the surgery. Don't tackle the whole trans thing all at once, he'll just get defensive. But tell him that while you respect his identity and all that (lie if you must), you are extremely worried about the surgery and want him to take time to think before making an irreversible decision. Point to the detransitioners that @cretin metins mentioned and maybe find more, Benjamin Boyce on YouTube has many interviews. If he dislikes detransitioners you can point to Corinna Cohn and Shape Shifter who are MTF who have not detransitioned, but have still spoken out again the surgeries and suffered serious complications/regrets.

I know people here might not agree with essentially lying and saying you respect his transness, but if the priority is to stop the surgery first and foremost I'd approach it like this. You can chip away at the other nonsense later.

Only give him actual troon testimony of their Surgeries going to shit, absolute loads of them. Including the pictures. Pic out good stories form the SRS thread here, and give him the actual reddit link so he doesn't see this site.
And this sort of data

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/18973/pdf/

You're gonna probably lose him anywya but keep it all above board using only official and troon testimony and tell him you don't want to see him fucked up and it's unnecessary cos it flat out won't help him any closer to being different by the time it's done.

 

[sheepworldvizor]

You should have some time. As long as he doesn’t go private the wait times for operations are supposed to be crazy long.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-67087906.amp