🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.1%
  • lol no

    Votes: 342 92.9%

  • Total voters
    368
Fucks sakes all the bluster and constant allusions to behind the scenes machinations are so tiresome, if he was at all capable of 5D chess moves he wouldn’t have been doxed in fucking Mexico (probably a pretty easy country to disappear into if you’re not retarded) and wouldn’t be constantly owned by fucking Vickers of all people
 
He definitely wants to, even toed right up to the line by releasing Meigh’s hairy noodz, but he’s scared to release the veedeeo ebidence because of the consequences he suffered for releasing Faith’s sextape.
Imagine the audio for such a tape.

"Uh, Ethan get your pinkie out of my ass"

"That's not my pinkie May oh... Goddamnit!"
 
The Killstream at its zenith was never popular because of Ralph, but because of the guests he brought on. And even that wasn't because of Ralph, but because of Zander booking them, keeping a schedule, and keeping the discussion moving along with James Allsup while Ethan would constantly get drunk and pass out towards the end of every show.
I think you meant 'Zidan' but your point stands. The show was decent because they had a good combination of personalities--Ralph before he went full-retard, Zidan obtaining interesting guests, and Gator who could run things technically. Add in the drop-bys of folks like Jim, Dame, etc. and it made for some pretty entertaining shows. Pretty sure Jim has said it before: "it's a simple formula to make money, don't fuck it up." Well, we know how that worked with the Gunt.

Ralph, lying on the streets of Portugo with his orbital cracked and blood leaking out of his mouth: "heheh they have no idea that this is actually a win for me"
He is literally the personification of the "I was only pretending to be retarded" meme. Only fatter.


You say this in jest but he unironically thought he looked cool. Which is why he shared the pictures. "Look at how I got stomped the fuck out by a purse stealing Moor, I'm very cool"
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This has been said before, but Ralph is the real-life Eric Cartman. He's fat, sees absolutely everything he does as cool and justified, fat, acts like a bad-ass loudly then quietly tries to apologize or sweep shit under the rug to avoid an ass-kicking (figuratively or literally), and has absolutely no concern for anyone else in or around his life. Oh yeah, he's fucking fat too.
 
Still wondering what he did that he ended up with two black eyes. What a shredded, Physical BEAST you are, King.
After repeated lies about fighting off multiple attackers or defending the honor of a woman Gunt finally admitted to Jim that the reason he got stomped was that he was “talking shit” in public. We got a bit of a look at the guy who tried selling Gunt’s purse online afterwards and it’s not like he was Gigachad or anything but of course you don’t have to be to be able to beat the shit out of Gunt

Gunt talked shit, so Gunt got hit. Simple as.
 
Speaking of LARPing, another great part of the whole portugal 1.0 is how it started "I was fighting 4v1" "I was fighting 3v1" "I was fighting 2v1 and Sergio was 1v1 next to me" "Actually it was just 1 guy and I was laying in the road trying to get up"
Fucking lol.
Nobody even believed him at the time. The consensus was he got drunk and talked shit, got hit. Some thought he got his snout smashed in by a pimp. Either way, there's NO WAY on Earth this pudgy little pillpiggy can fight a single person, let alone 4.

What's the logistics of 4 vs 1 fight anyway, did he watch to much Jackie Chan? At most they'll just be kicking him, but 4 people?

Lol what even
You got beat up by a tranny and got your purse taken away, Ethan
 
"They don't know what's goin awn behind the scenes hehehe"

Behind the scenes:

Andrew Tate: I can ambush Harry for you Ralph and use my MMA skills to beat him to a pulp.
O'day Simpson: Good idea, Top G. I also could stab him for you.
Xanax bottle: Ethan take more of me to superpower your friends.
Tequila bottle: me too
Piss bottle: take a swig of me too, you won't even notice.
Chair: kill me I've suffered enough.
 
I imagine this behind the scenes W is something along the lines of less then $500 a month in child support and supervised visits.

I suppose even crumbs look like a feast to someone in Ralph's situation.
The only thing I doubt about this is Ralph has never had a court case, family or otherwise, that he didn't tweet about incessantly. Even if it was just crying about the costs involved - so unless this is entirely voluntary, in which case is his wife taking pitty on his fat ass really a W?

But then, Ralph hasn't even mentioned Rosie in months. He doesn't give a fuck about her.

Makes me wonder if this is actually to do with the divorce. Maybe May doesn't get a split of the assets - which while it would seem a huge W for Ralph, probably is the equivalent of losing $20 down the couch to your average person.
 
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