How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

I'm doing better now than I was the last two weeks. I don't ask for much. I just want to enjoy my downtime when I have it. I've had to start setting more boundaries.

 

[Forsaken Wanderer]

@Friend of Dorothy Parker If you are annoyed at what they are making you do at work you shouldn't just accept it or they might take it as a sign that they can push you to do more. The people that are an immovable rock usually get their way in this world. I think by 2030 anything related to computer tech will be completely changed with massive layoffs. Or perhaps things will collapse so far we won't even have computers anymore.

Exactly, the full work day takes up more time that you think and saps so much energy if you have to go on site. During the lockdowns I had a lot more freetime while I was working remotely, I could get up later, go to bed later, actually have breaks, and as soon as I'm finished I'm already home. The 8 to 8 and a half hour average work day is far too long, the last couple of hours are usually far less productive. If it was 6 hours just as much work would be done. Once you get home you have no energy left so you can't do things as quickly as you could if you had been resting all day.

The minutes work different at work as well. Every hour on site is such a painful slog that drags on and on. At home however you blink and you have lost half an hour, the time gods are very cruel. I've often thought of lining every room with clocks so that I am aware of every second that goes by. I wouldn't say I am at full health, and living this lifestyle year after year gradually gets you more decrepit over time. The motivation to do well just isn't there either.

That's great and all that you appreciate the small things in life, I also partake in the drink, although I don't bother to make my bed. The problems I have with that way of thinking are multiple. For one these are micro moments that don't have the volume to make up for the bullshit that takes up most of the rest of the day. It's also hard to feel the same pleasure after you have done the same thing so many times. It all feels like steps we do, thousands of steps perhaps, that we must complete to finish out the day. And then what happens is the next day dawns and we must complete those steps all over again as if what we did already never happened.

I don't really get enjoyment out of anything anymore, sure a rum tastes nice, and I can find some things to read or watch online that is of interest, but I don't feel joy and excitement. Everything blends together in a grey ooze. The only thing that gives me any kind of pleasant thought is getting home on Friday and being able to go to bed and sleep until the sun comes up.

That is a big bike ride, I could travel through multiple towns if I rode that distance. I guess I think if it's not significant it's a waste of time. Perhaps I think that workdays can't be salvaged with any amount of enjoyable activities because they are already sullied. There is also so little time in the day that any hour used to do something such as a walk when it usually wouldn't be causes a ripple that makes everything else occur later than it should in the day.

I know they say all sorts of things help your mood but I don't find that it does. I go for walks and other than the atmosphere in some of the quieter areas I don't feel anything at all. If all we are are machines that exist to live off of the positive chemicals that are generated from doing certain things then where to do you turn to for direction if you have no positive chemicals? What happens is reality becomes clear. You realize that you live in a world that is just using you as a tool and wants you to die after you are too worn to be useful.

 

[dick brain]

Has anybody here been helped by antidepressants? I don't want to take them.

They gave me the ability to be willing to make changes in some severely negative situations, but they also gave me the complacency to be unwilling to make changes in some less severely negative situations. I would advocate thinking of them like a star in Mario Kart, something temporary to help you improve your position so you aren't depressed in the first place, rather than a solution in themselves. I also got very lucky in that the first one I was prescribed worked for me, which is not everyone's experience, and why I'm not disclosing which one that was. Be prepared to have to try a couple.

It's been weeks since I broke up with my girlfriend, I'm still broken for what happened. I'm still not sure how to go, my future seems very foggy and uncertain now, I don't know what to do to still carry on. I will not let myself go though... I started running on the streets in my city in the mornings. Honestly I don't care about anything anymore, dying feels like whatever to me and I feel like just running, I don't care if I die getting run over by a car or getting robbed by some toothless analphabete nigger on the streets. Just running to whatever my feet wants me to go.

I have been there. Like, exactly there; I started trail running in the weeks following my last relationship and for a while it was literally the only thing I enjoyed. Because it was new. It was something we didn't share.
It will get better. Assuming your relationship was a long one, there's probably a whole lot of your life you associate with "us" rather than "me," but as time goes on you'll get a better understanding of what's "you".

I'm fine with my job and it looks like I can achieve goals again but I'm kind of bummed out because none of the girls I work with attractive. I have this old, mousy chick and a semi-retarded fat chick interested in me and that's it for women in my space. I'm going to get fit and look for a transfer in a few months. Maybe stalk someone attractive and find out where they work to get some decent pussy.

This is a blessing in disguise. Don't shit where you eat.

Maybe you're right, it just feels like if I do that, I've failed at life again, and frankly, I'm already a pretty big failure in the whole "social" aspect.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Jesus christ that's fucking rough.

I think I know now why you're able to understand and help me with my bullshit a lot. Your ex might as well be one of my parents.
I fucking HATE the misery that comes with narcissists. It's disgusting that these people can exist just fine without offering a single hand to help their own children.
I'll be honest in saying there's times where suicide is a completely and totally valid option for some people. Not saying you have to do anything that would incriminate you, but some people the world is better off without.
I hope you can get past this and take care of your child. But I also hope at some point that dude chokes on the fattest of dicks. Don't know if you can start coming after him for the child support or make his life hell but I hope there's some justice.
(Just going to say if he is on social media and has a good amount of people around him, you or your son could just kind... start letting people know. Don't know if that's a can of worms you want to open but shit like this just makes my blood boil).

I make over six figures and work remotely, which is something pretty important for me right now.

Dear fucking god I didn't realize it was that good. No wonder you deal with the bullshit If you don't mind me asking, would you really need to move in with your parents if you're making that kind of money? Nothing wrong either way but I can't imagine housing being that bad.

 

[anustart76]

Dear fucking god I didn't realize it was that good. No wonder you deal with the bullshit If you don't mind me asking, would you really need to move in with your parents if you're making that kind of money? Nothing wrong either way but I can't imagine housing being that bad.

Oh I could probably live off my various investments (only a small amount of my money is actually sitting in the bank) for a good few years, but it's a savings for a reason; I really don't want to have to dip into it if I don't have to. I'm trying to save as much as possible so I can buy a nice house in a nice place, send kids off to college, etc. Plus, if I lost my job, my parents would be the ones to insist I move back in with them.

In slightly optimistic news, I might be starting up some kind of independent business with a friend of mine. Unlike me, he's not socially retarded, but he's still a really good guy (he's the boyfriend of a relative), so we might be able to make a good team and actually pull something off. Told me he's already found some potential clients, which is exciting. I've also been thinking about potentially selling some kind of 3D printed items (I have a nice little 3D printer), but I can't figure out what that would be.

I'm so sick of working for corpos. I hate how secure the job makes you feel at first, then WHAM they pull the rug out from under you.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

The 8 to 8 and a half hour average work day is far too long, the last couple of hours are usually far less productive.

Agree with this, for my personal rhythm. BUT - I don't think a total 8 hours of work in a day is all that draining. I just know I'm far more productive when I don't have to build in 2-3 hours of prep time, and when I can have afternoon time (if no meetings) for a change of venue or taking care of personal business or just downtime, whatever...then ramp back up in the evening/night. It's frustrating.

If you are annoyed at what they are making you do at work you shouldn't just accept it or they might take it as a sign that they can push you to do more.

Some protests are pointless. The most recent employee survey results made it clear many people really hate it. The reaction is basically, "thank you for your input." Decision is made. And from what I know, it's going to get even stricter. Suuuucks. If they'd count hours rather than days I'd be golden, but the policy-setters are not fans of creative working

Trying to buck certain corporate edicts is a death wish, and I do not wish to die.

Just frustrating bc it was a completely tolerable mix of workplace/time until the latest infantilization. :-/

Every hour on site is such a painful slog that drags on and on.

See, I don't experience this (until 4 or 5 pm, see above on my rhythm) (and if I wfh until 10 and get in the office at 11, I don't experience it until after 7). ...but I'm energized by and interested in my work, and as I said before, aiming for other things. So my days are stimulating, and though I've experienced office time drag in life before, now it's rare. It was mostly when I was disengaged and really not in the mindset to be doing whatever I was supposed to be doing.

I've often thought of lining every room with clocks so that I am aware of every second that goes by.

There are apps that will chime to remind you to take a break, do [something], etc. When I'm keyed in and wanting them, they're good; when I'm demotivated I ignore them as much as anything else. So I do aim to make a point to be motivated - about life, about work, about myself. It's a daily effort and exercise - most anything good is...but my perspective is - we have one life, so it's either squander it or do better*. The odds sa

* there's a line (OK, 1.4 or so) from a poem I sometimes recall when I flag - I'm a little ambivalent about it bc the poet, though lauded, seems kind of mid/banal to me...but still the line is a reminder: "what is it you plan to do/with your one wild and precious life?". It's from this poem. Enh, not my favorite poem/type of, but I like the line. ...And tbh, at times my reaction is "fuck off" when the line comes to mind...but in better moments, it gives a healthy and powerful sense of urgency and responsibility to self. Ymmv, just tossing it out. But I think anyone can find bits of things that contribute to their motivation and life intention. And I do believe intention is crucial.

It's also hard to feel the same pleasure after you have done the same thing so many times. It all feels like steps we do, thousands of steps perhaps, that we must complete to finish out the day. And then what happens is the next day dawns and we must complete those steps all over again as if what we did already never happened.

I disagree with your first sentence. Wonderful things are sort of absolute value wonderful.

But on the rest - get it. But that's where choice comes in. OK, so there's another day coming and ugh. Don't think about that. Think about finding the joy in something even stupid or small, or valuing, rather than just passing, the time you're in now.

And are you a creature of automatic habit? Mix it up. Maybe decide to try to make your bed for x days in a row (x being as many as you your teeth one night. Or change order. Take a different route to work. Or go outside if you take a lunch break. I'm not prescribing specific things, just saying it's possible to de-rut your day-to-day in small what's...and it's possible that un-wedging some of those soul-killing habits leads to a slightly broader sense of freedom, and an awareness of the choice you have available to you, and the power you hold over your life, despite the routine and grinding forces all around. Just a few thoughts.

I don't really get enjoyment out of anything anymore, sure a rum tastes nice, and I can find some things to read or watch online that is of interest, but I don't feel joy and excitement. Everything blends together in a grey ooze. The only thing that gives me any kind of pleasant thought is getting home on Friday and being able to go to bed and sleep until the sun comes up.

:-( There is more for you. Don't let the bastards get you down, as they say (the origin/use of the phrase is kind of funny). (Things like finding that out, as I just did, give me little joys.)

That is a big bike ride, I could travel through multiple towns if I rode that distance. I guess I think if it's not significant it's a waste of time. Perhaps I think that workdays can't be salvaged with any amount of enjoyable activities because they are already sullied. There is also so little time in the day that any hour used to do something such as a walk when it usually wouldn't be causes a ripple that makes everything else occur later than it should in the day.

I do understand this experience, but it's mental, not actual. And worth pushing back against.

I go for walks and other than the atmosphere in some of the quieter areas I don't feel anything at all.

It's not a magic cure. Not much of anything is. It's a bit of work, and requires intention, if you're not used to it. Remapping your thought processes is good, though - but it takes time - reasonable, bc after all, it took time to develop them.

If all we are are machines that exist to live off of the positive chemicals that are generated from doing certain things then where to do you turn to for direction if you have no positive chemicals?

Imo, deciding and disciplining yourself by cutting off those spiraling thoughts is a very worthwhile effort. Positive "chemicals" are there, but you have to suspend your disbelief and go seeking them.

What happens is reality becomes clear. You realize that you live in a world that is just using you as a tool and wants you to die after you are too worn to be useful.

Nah. See, you spun yourself into doomsday here. Which is just as artificial (or real) as choosing to spin yourself in a different direction.

They gave me the ability to be willing to make changes in some severely negative situations, but they also gave me the complacency to be unwilling to make changes in some less severely negative situations. I would advocate thinking of them like a star in Mario Kart, something temporary to help you improve your position so you aren't depressed in the first place, rather than a solution in themselves.

I agree with this. I think they can help lift a fog, if the fog is of the type they are meant to address. And may be good as maintenance for some scenarios. But absolutely they can create complacency. I was on and off them over time for mild stuff, ok I guess. When I hit the skids hard at one point, though, going on them, at a meaningful dose, was what was needed to get me semi-functional. But after a time and after having done a lot of interior work, I recognized the complacency, and also that the complacency was keeping me from further forward movement. So I cut it off completely, though with the plan that if it was awful, I'd revisit it as needed. It's been 3 or 4 years, and I haven't looked back. That is a very specific instance, though, and I recognize that they are very valuable for many, even as a maintenance situation. It just happened that for me, my need/benefit ended up being starkly situational, and at a point I didn't need nor want that particular kind of tool in my bag. An extreme situation brought me both to experiencing very positive benefit...but also realizing when I no longer needed their influence.

I think I know now why you're able to understand and help me with my bullshit a lot. Your ex might as well be one of my parents.
I fucking HATE the misery that comes with narcissists. It's disgusting that these people can exist just fine without offering a single hand to help their own children.

Thank you. Wish I'd had a single clue about it back in the day. I didn't figure him out until years after we divorced (this wasn't an overused concept then, not even a commonly considered one). Once I did, he's predictable as clockwork. And - this weekend excepted - I've mostly figured out how to work it. (And I admit there's some competitiveness in me that enjoyed seeing him stunned when I stopped acting/ reacting in ways that fed into it. And my being unperturbed always disrupts his flow...so I failed yesterday, lol. But did he call after I was silent for 15 hours? Yes, yes he did. Because he wanted a fight. Instead, I was all business, flat, no talk of money, and it defkated/defused him. I've decided what I will do regardless of what he does - and that is power (personal; not playing games with him). And me taking care of business rather than feeling whipped around by his derpy assholeishness and bean-counting is the W.) Would it be better if he were a human being? 1000%. He's not, so I move forward regardless.

He's a burden to have and has really fucked my life at times, but the absolute fucking crime is what he has done (both known impacts and as-yet unknown) to our children. I don't really do "hate," because I don't like it and it seems wrong morally, but when I think of our kids, I get very close. And I mean in a rational, no-respect loathing, not just a rare emotional rant when I give in and call him a petty bitch.

I'll be honest in saying there's times where suicide is a completely and totally valid option for some people. Not saying you have to do anything that would incriminate you, but some people the world is better off without.

Not sure what you mean here, but cutting out has never been a serious thought for me, even when the sky was black. ...I did once have a semi-shady boyfriend who only half-jokingly suggested he get some "people" he knew from his former city to have a chat with my ex...funny until I realized he kind of meant it. Another stellar choice of people to spend time with, go me.

I hope you can get past this and take care of your child.

I am, ty.

But I also hope at some point that dude chokes on the fattest of dicks.

I agree, though I'm better off not thinking of him at all.

Don't know if you can start coming after him for the child support or make his life hell but I hope there's some justice.

Too late for all that. I shouldn't even have mentioned it, but it was a weak moment. I've recognized my limitations and so have 98% just let it go. Apparently I keep 2% in my back pocket, for when he shows his lack of deserving of our wonderful kids and I recall or experience all his sins.

(Just going to say if he is on social media and has a good amount of people around him, you or your son could just kind... start letting people know. Don't know if that's a can of worms you want to open but shit like this just makes my blood boil).

Damaging his reputation would be the way to hurt him the most; it is his most prized possession. However, I have my own to protect, as well as wanting not to expend anymore energy on him - I gave way too much of it when my kids were younger and the battles were constant. And, I would not want my kids hurt or upset or impacted in any way, which they would be. No, it will all go unavenged in any sort of harm way, but I don't spend time thinking about it or him unless/until something like this classic scenario comes up. I prefer just not to have him as a thing I even have to think about.

 

[AnOminous]

VA doesn't do much well but they do provide top-notch hearing aids.

I sometimes take boomers to VA appointments and get a free flu shot. I always tell them I don't really legally qualify but it's free anyway.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

I've also been thinking about potentially selling some kind of 3D printed items (I have a nice little 3D printer), but I can't figure out what that would be.

I need to do this. I still can't fathom people actually buying that garbage. But hey, if people buy it. It will help if you know how to design shit.

In other news, 4 guys were laid off at my company. 2 low level laborers (functionally), but two higher up guys. I'm, supposedly, not on the chopping block and the company is investing in some training to run some of our systems. Cool, but still a bit alarming.

If I believe what I'm told, it's because our overhead was meant for X, but we won't hit X (this year) due to pivoting the business from super custom EVERYTHING to more standardized stuff.

I question one of the guys who was laid off, but I'm not the boss nor do I know the books. The business seems to be going well, even with what I said. Small businesses are like canoes whereas big corpos are like superliners. So, a pivot like this is the right decision, the custom stuff wouldn't make us much money, but would keep us busy.

I told the boss to be straight with me, and I like to think he would be, but you can never tell. I wouldn't jump ship, but it'd be easier to start looking while employed.

 

[bile demon]

Honestly never heard that before. I'm on SSRIs now.

In some individuals they cause an ideation of violence, directed both against yourself and others. This is independent of your personality and natural inclination towards such behavior. You'd be hard pressed to find a Burger school shooter who wasn't on SSRIs, starting as early as Columbine.

 

[ThisOldHaus]

Oh boy, roommates want to have a chat with me. I can afford to and have the ability to live on my own, but everyone kept hounding me to move in with two austists a decade younger than me. One wants to be the smartest in the room and hates men for existing while the other fawns at the slightest bit of conflict. I knew this going in, but I can't pretend to like it or even tolerate it at this point. I pay them rent for the sake of not being that much of an asshole, but I'm just done with living with people. Had roomates since I turned 18 and I'm just done with it now.

 

[LonesomeDud]

My wife's dad told me I was doing a great job as a husband and dad, and that he knows it is the most important thing to me.

Spoiler: faggot stuff

I get what people mean about "feeling seen " I cried like a faggot. He agreed not to disclose that I cried like a faggot about it to family. I love him every bit as much as I love my own dad, and I am glad he knows.

 

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

As corny as this will sound, I've been finding solace in literature. Also, with the overwhelming white guilt and anti-Western sentiments we see these days, I've also found comfort in reading classics like both the Federalist and Anti-Federalist Papers, George Washington's Rules of Civility, Ben Franklin's Book of Virtues, the Jefferson Bible, and Thomas Paine's Common Sense and the Rights of Man. All the anti-American shit spewed by the left is making more and more want to embrace being an American.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Not sure what you mean here, but cutting out has never been a serious thought for me, even when the sky was black. ...I did once have a semi-shady boyfriend who only half-jokingly suggested he get some "people" he knew from his former city to have a chat with my ex...funny until I realized he kind of meant it. Another stellar choice of people to spend time with, go me.

I don't know, I'd say if he meant that (considering your ex is the person he is) he isn't really that bad. At least some form of lawful evil.
I wasn't referring to you about suicide. I just mean there's people that really don't provide much of a justification for their existence. Outside of the fact that the dude was partially responsible in you having an awesome kid, I don't see the merit. Than again I'm more the type that gets overt rage when I see shit parents so that's just my own opinion.

No, it will all go unavenged in any sort of harm way, but I don't spend time thinking about it or him unless/until something like this classic scenario comes up. I prefer just not to have him as a thing I even have to think about.

I hope to acquire this monk-like clarity and chill at some point in my life.

They gave me the ability to be willing to make changes in some severely negative situations, but they also gave me the complacency to be unwilling to make changes in some less severely negative situations. I would advocate thinking of them like a star in Mario Kart, something temporary to help you improve your position so you aren't depressed in the first place, rather than a solution in themselves. I also got very lucky in that the first one I was prescribed worked for me, which is not everyone's experience, and why I'm not disclosing which one that was. Be prepared to have to try a couple.

My personal gripe with SSRIs (other than the pricing for the counseling that goes with them is exorbitant for me) is the age old conundrum. I'm very depressed, but I wouldn't say I have """depression""". It's not where I have a loving wife and am living very comfortably but want to lay in bed all day sometimes. No, I have legitimate grievances and thoroughly believe the people who are completely happy with the way the world is right now have something worse wrong with them.
So the question I'm faced with isn't "Can these things make me happy?" but "Should I even be happy right now?"
The thought of being lulled into that complacency when you could be using the displeasure to really reevaluate what you want out of life and push towards things that will improve you and your surroundings really scares me.
I do think they could be helpful for certain issues (I'd kill to not be able to ruminate or have less anxiety, neither of which actually helps me). But I never want to have a day where I look at a dirty room and feel okay.


Update on work:
So you know the flying monkey that got mad at me the other day for chilling outside while being on the clock just like everyone else does?
Well of course he snitched on me to the upper manager.
So the manager in the most non-chalant way tells me while he's in the room basically to just knock it off.
And then five minutes later we end up roasting him outside and laughing at the faggotry.
Basically the manager just told me in the most chill way to think of an alibi next time even if it's fake, to know the kind of snitch I'm working with, and that he doesn't really care. He agreed with me about the hypocrisy and general fagginess that the dude was pulling and how often he does this because he thinks he's "staying in his good graces" when in reality it just annoys him.
He also gave me a week off when I requested it a couple of days earlier on short notice.
I have literally the greatest manager of all time.

Also, we fired a nignog who wasn't doing his job because he was also heavily flirting with the underage staff.
So all in all a pretty good day.
GOD I LOVE MY FUCKING JOB!

 

[Cheesegirl78]

We're in the middle of a huge storm cycle right now, power is out everywhere, thank God for the generator.
Tree limbs and who knows what else down all over. We heard something huge crash down on the roof a while ago but can't do anything about it right now.

Sucks that the kitchen is all electric, probably go out somewhere for breakfast or break out the camping gear.
It's cozy with the fireplace going and all of us together in front of it.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

We're in the middle of a huge storm cycle right now, power is out everywhere, thank God for the generator.
Tree limbs and who knows what else down all over. We heard something huge crash down on the roof a while ago but can't do anything about it right now.

Sucks that the kitchen is all electric, probably go out somewhere for breakfast or break out the camping gear.
It's cozy with the fireplace going and all of us together in front of it.

Stay safe, fam.

It's been raining for 24 hours, but it just got blustery here.

 

[Betonhaus]

It snowed again

 

[beejams]

Reading some semi-old journal entries. Honestly it's wild how what a "normal day" for me can change so slowly as to be a continuous stream of "today like yesterday, and tomorrow like today," but jumping backwards in time and actually remembering how completely different in some ways my life was just less than a year ago is mind blowing. I've made a lot more progress than I give myself credit for, I think. But I also feel determined to do better, to make good upon my past promises to myself. Thanks for the conversation about antidepressants. I'm going to hold off taking them for now but I've gotten a referral to a therapist and I really am resolved to make a change. Love you guys.

 

[Kilo Riley]

I'm back in my not quite dream job, but at least I'm in management. I make enough money that the missus doesn't need to work 40 hours anymore and can take it a bit easy and worry about her health, which is something she's been in desperate need of over the past year. On top of stuff with my brother, it finally feels like I have my life in order and that things might actually work out. I'm sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but for now, I'm safe.

My brother wants to start a business with me once he finishes school so that he can give me stable employment while I go back. It's crazy, honestly. Without powerleveling too hard, after my mother passed I was taken away from my brother's side of the family and cut off from them for the better part of ten or eleven years. I never saw any of them again, and I only saw him on holidays. The fact that I was the first person he called when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant, the fact that I was the first person he called when he needed help and advice, the fact that I was the first person he called once he figured out what he wanted to do with his life, honestly floors me. His dad (my stepfather) wasn't a huge presence in his life either, and the fact that I was able to be a positive influence on him, even though I was going through extremely dark times up until VERY recently... I'm just shaken, but in a good way. I feel as if I've finally done something significant with my life, that I've succeeded at functioning as an adult and more importantly, as a man.

 

[Betonhaus]

I really hope that mt high school transcrips arrive before my testing appointment so that I don't have to reschedule. On the webpage it says it shipped so they *should* arrive in time. It does seem that I should be a shoe-in for any of the three positions i requested, and I got all of my application forms sorted out. I might need to update my references but I'm hoping they will be ok.

If I join the armed forces then money is no longer an issue, and I get out of the rut I've been in and enter an environment that should help me dramatically improve my lifestyle habits. I'm not going to be able to lose 120lbs in 6 months like I did in 2018 (unless the army hooks me up with Ozempic or something but that's very doubtful), but I should hopefully be in much better shape by next year both physically and mentally.

I do have lots of trivial questions (like what electronic devices should I bring and will I have an opportunity to upgrade my laptop) but I can cross that bridge when i get there

I should probably put the bay module from the backup server into my current one, as it's highly unlikely I'll be building a new one anytime soon.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

I'm getting better about drinking less alcohol