- Joined
- Apr 11, 2022
@Friend of Dorothy Parker Do you have a rival company you can work for doing the work you do now if they keep on pushing you to do more? If they are not told no these suits will continue to try to scrimp and save and get more work for less. Anyway, even if you do find 8 hours an acceptable amount of time to work in a day surely the realization that after you have had your first 8 you must do it 4 more times before you get 2 short days rest and then it's back to the start of the week again.
I like the poem and the Latin saying thanks. I do understand that line of thinking, or at least it made sense when I was younger. That life is beautiful if only you pay attention to the magic around you. Well, sadly you can somewhat quantify the "magic" you get from the small moments in life, and you can quantify the toxic aura you get from the things you don't like in life. If the toxicity outweighs the magic then it won't help to improve your mood by looking at a grasshopper. I spend all day in a cold building so when I get home I try and find a few minutes to go outside with my cat and get some sun and some fresh air. But even so, it does little to improve my mood because I have the nights chores and then the next days work to crush all hope.
Additionally when you are young you see the world as being full of opportunity and wonder. It makes the smaller moments in life mean more. When you get older you are essentially locked into one route that you are taking through your existence and if that path is miserable then what does it matter what exists around you. I'm not interested in anything that you can find on this planet anymore, my only goal is to stop the source my dismal state which is work. I don't have any interest in improving or learning anything, I just want to break the endless loop that I am trapped in. To be honest from an early as I can remember I have always found the mundane life and work so utterly boring that I have never found anything in that world that I would enjoy doing. My brain screams for something more interesting.
I am a creature of habit and schedule. It helps me to remember things. If I always put my work keys in the clothes I am wearing for the day at the same point I should always remember to do it. The routine is very mind numbingly boring though and I often daydream because it's so tedious plus the fatigue from doing the same thing over and over and little sleep plus being fed up with it all makes me slower than I should be. As much as I do hate every aspect of my job to the point that every single day is excruciating I don't think I would find another job I would enjoy (although working from home would help incredibly). I think my only hope to recover is a year off of working but even if I could afford it I would eat through all of my savings. If I had the money I could very happily never work again and I wouldn't ever feel boredom, I have endless things on my bucket list that I could work my way through if I ever had the chance.
My doomsday warnings are sadly accurate. We are living through atrocity after atrocity and if ever things do get better it probably won't be in our lifetime, and it probably won't be our people that see it, rather another race, another civilization, perhaps 100+ years in the future. For us all we get to see is a rapid decay and our homeland transformed into alien worlds that are hostile to our being alive. I am so weak and sickly and tired I don't have the energy to survive that, and I don't have the willpower left to try and fight for a life that I can stomach. I've been in this hell for too long to be able to live a normal life.
Right now I just want to quit and then ride out the remaining days until I'm out of money doing things I want to do, one last flight of fantasy before the end. But I can't even bring myself to quit because of the difficulty and drama I'll have to go through in handing my notice in. So perhaps all I can hope for is a heart attack or some other severe health problem to come along and end it for me.
I like the poem and the Latin saying thanks. I do understand that line of thinking, or at least it made sense when I was younger. That life is beautiful if only you pay attention to the magic around you. Well, sadly you can somewhat quantify the "magic" you get from the small moments in life, and you can quantify the toxic aura you get from the things you don't like in life. If the toxicity outweighs the magic then it won't help to improve your mood by looking at a grasshopper. I spend all day in a cold building so when I get home I try and find a few minutes to go outside with my cat and get some sun and some fresh air. But even so, it does little to improve my mood because I have the nights chores and then the next days work to crush all hope.
Additionally when you are young you see the world as being full of opportunity and wonder. It makes the smaller moments in life mean more. When you get older you are essentially locked into one route that you are taking through your existence and if that path is miserable then what does it matter what exists around you. I'm not interested in anything that you can find on this planet anymore, my only goal is to stop the source my dismal state which is work. I don't have any interest in improving or learning anything, I just want to break the endless loop that I am trapped in. To be honest from an early as I can remember I have always found the mundane life and work so utterly boring that I have never found anything in that world that I would enjoy doing. My brain screams for something more interesting.
I am a creature of habit and schedule. It helps me to remember things. If I always put my work keys in the clothes I am wearing for the day at the same point I should always remember to do it. The routine is very mind numbingly boring though and I often daydream because it's so tedious plus the fatigue from doing the same thing over and over and little sleep plus being fed up with it all makes me slower than I should be. As much as I do hate every aspect of my job to the point that every single day is excruciating I don't think I would find another job I would enjoy (although working from home would help incredibly). I think my only hope to recover is a year off of working but even if I could afford it I would eat through all of my savings. If I had the money I could very happily never work again and I wouldn't ever feel boredom, I have endless things on my bucket list that I could work my way through if I ever had the chance.
My doomsday warnings are sadly accurate. We are living through atrocity after atrocity and if ever things do get better it probably won't be in our lifetime, and it probably won't be our people that see it, rather another race, another civilization, perhaps 100+ years in the future. For us all we get to see is a rapid decay and our homeland transformed into alien worlds that are hostile to our being alive. I am so weak and sickly and tired I don't have the energy to survive that, and I don't have the willpower left to try and fight for a life that I can stomach. I've been in this hell for too long to be able to live a normal life.
Right now I just want to quit and then ride out the remaining days until I'm out of money doing things I want to do, one last flight of fantasy before the end. But I can't even bring myself to quit because of the difficulty and drama I'll have to go through in handing my notice in. So perhaps all I can hope for is a heart attack or some other severe health problem to come along and end it for me.
