Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[King Kiwi]

Kids don't really have the context to understand "Daddy's job is to document Chris-Chan" is unusual.


Can't manage it for the 14th?

Didn't he call his wife a fat, gassy blimp or something to that effect?

Real Prince Charming.

What's the kid's name going to be, anyways?

Bambi? Maybe Flower...

 

[SamuellyGenie]

Didn't he call his wife a fat, gassy blimp or something to that effect?

Real Prince Charming.

Not quite that vulgar, but yeh, and she was in on the joke. Y'all relax

 

[BubbaRobot887]

My only problem with this series is that it assumes the internet made Chris who he is, when he was doing all the bad stuff including making death threats long before the internet found him and things like what he did to Megan were done without the prompting of any trolls.
Sometimes bad people are bad people and blaming others misses the point IMO.

I would say Chris' parents babying him and paying girls to be his friends has more to do with making Chris who he is than the internet.

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

My only problem with this series is that it assumes the internet made Chris who he is, when he was doing all the bad stuff including making death threats long before the internet found him and things like what he did to Megan were done without the prompting of any trolls.
Sometimes bad people are bad people and blaming others misses the point IMO.

I would say Chris' parents babying him and paying girls to be his friends has more to do with making Chris who he is than the internet.

I still think that had Chris never even touched the Internet he would be better off than now. The sheer amount of people fucking with him, manipulating him, extorting him, and trying to be his “friends” absolutely made whatever the hell is wrong with him worse.
Now, he would still suck on his own, but he probably wouldn’t be an motherfucker who thinks he’s a goddess or whatever. He’d probably be playing with Lego and terrorizing the locals.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

I still think that had Chris never even touched the Internet he would be better off than now. The sheer amount of people fucking with him, manipulating him, extorting him, and trying to be his “friends” absolutely made whatever the hell is wrong with him worse.
Now, he would still suck on his own, but he probably wouldn’t be an motherfucker who thinks he’s a goddess or whatever. He’d probably be playing with Lego and terrorizing the locals.

And punding tard babies into Barb.

 

[innocent jogger]

I still think that had Chris never even touched the Internet he would be better off than now. The sheer amount of people fucking with him, manipulating him, extorting him, and trying to be his “friends” absolutely made whatever the hell is wrong with him worse.
Now, he would still suck on his own, but he probably wouldn’t be an motherfucker who thinks he’s a goddess or whatever. He’d probably be playing with Lego and terrorizing the locals.

Yes and no. He may not have shoved his medallion up his ass or destroyed his PS3 but he still would have tried to maim Micheal Snyder and would be raping Barb to this day since it was a troll who recorded his confession (aka "locker room talk" bragging) that lead to his arrest, exposing her nasty animal abusing ass as well.

 

[Waifu Days]

Yes and no. He may not have shoved his medallion up his ass or destroyed his PS3 but he still would have tried to maim Micheal Snyder and would be raping Bard to this day since it was a troll who recorded his confession (aka "locker room talk" bragging) that lead to his arrest, exposing her nasty animal abusing ass as well.

Tommy Tooter is proof enough that autism does not need the Internet to fuel the retard realm.

Chris was always destined to be at least a local weirdo. He might have even become infamous at conventions. Something Awful and 4Chan did not target in on Chris because of the troll sagas. They hadn't happened yet. That level a retardation is a lightning rod.

 

[PhoBingas]

I would say Chris' parents babying him and paying girls to be his friends has more to do with making Chris who he is than the internet.

I honestly think it was all of it. Barb and Bob coddling him. Bob paying those girls to hang out with him, slap on the wrist after slap on the wrist until the incest shit. Chris was told by every adult that tried to "help" him that he was special and the normies that gave him a hard time just didn't "get" him. If barb actually parented chris and if Bob had him a swat or two in the back of the head and told him to act normal when he was 10 or 11, the Chris we know today probably wouldn't exist.

 

[innocent jogger]

I honestly think it was all of it. Barb and Bob coddling him. Bob paying those girls to hang out with him, slap on the wrist after slap on the wrist until the incest shit. Chris was told by every adult that tried to "help" him that he was special and the normies that gave him a hard time just didn't "get" him. If barb actually parented chris and if Bob had him a swat or two in the back of the head and told him to act normal when he was 10 or 11, the Chris we know today probably wouldn't exist.

If you think about it a different way then Chris is anti-hero of the family. His retard antics are far more famous than his father's patents or his soyboy brother's blogs will ever be. How many people can legitimately claim to be one of the most documented people in history?

 

[PhoBingas]

If you think about it a different way then Chris is anti-hero of the family. His retard antics are far more famous than his father's patents or his soyboy brother's blogs will ever be. How many people can legitimately claim to be one of the most documented people in history?

It really boggles my shit sometimes that we know more about our forum's retarded pseudo-mascot than we do most of the kings and queens of the world, at least until we eat the next Carrington event. And to think this all started from some spastics on line showing another spastic to their friend group.

 

[Ammyterasu]

I still think that had Chris never even touched the Internet he would be better off than now. The sheer amount of people fucking with him, manipulating him, extorting him, and trying to be his “friends” absolutely made whatever the hell is wrong with him worse.
Now, he would still suck on his own, but he probably wouldn’t be an motherfucker who thinks he’s a goddess or whatever. He’d probably be playing with Lego and terrorizing the locals.

I actually think he would have killed himself sooner or later if not for all the attention the trolls gave him. It's fucked up, but those were the only social interactions with people more or less his age he could count on since his own actions got him banned from the Game Place (which were once a week anyway) and fucked things up with Megan. I think even his obsession with the love quest mostly stems from him wanting someone who's not an old fart to talk to and share his interests with.

It's sad that he always struggled with his loneliness but then again, he never did anything to change the repulsive sides of his personality so that people could genuinely want to be friends with him.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

I would say Chris' parents babying him and paying girls to be his friends has more to do with making Chris who he is than the internet.

Don't forget the debilitating power of autism. It's the scourge of our times. Hopefully, someday scientists will find a cure and we'll be rid of it for good.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

I actually think he would have killed himself sooner or later if not for all the attention the trolls gave him. It's fucked up, but those were the only social interactions with people more or less his age he could count on since his own actions got him banned from the Game Place (which were once a week anyway) and fucked things up with Megan. I think even his obsession with the love quest mostly stems from him wanting someone who's not an old fart to talk to and share his interests with.

It's sad that he always struggled with his loneliness but then again, he never did anything to change the repulsive sides of his personality so that people could genuinely want to be friends with him.

I still wish he would, but he has little to no self awareness to do such a thing. To him, he's a beautiful Sailor Neptroon look a like on a holy mission to unite the realms of FUPA.

We all know the truth, he's a fat, ugly, lazy, autistic male shut in who raped his mother several years after his real quest down a road toward transvestic paraphilia. On his way, he jacked it to ponies, wore Barb's underwear, cut a hole in his taint, and became hyperfocused on a lesbian sleepover not realizing the reality that most lesbians are unattractive, butch diesel dykes that lust after str8 women.

Don't forget the debilitating power of autism. It's the scourge of our times. Hopefully, someday scientists will find a cure and we'll be rid of it for good.

Only cure is eugenics, bith control, and woodchippers.

 

[innocent jogger]

I actually think he would have killed himself sooner or later if not for all the attention the trolls gave him.

Chris is the definition of narcissist. He would (and has) fallen into schizophrenic delusions rather than admit who he actually is. You can go and kill yourself though. lol

 

[Ammyterasu]

Chris is the definition of narcissist. He would (and has) fallen into schizophrenic delusions rather than admit who he actually is. You can go and kill yourself though. lol

He is textbook case narcissist, yeah, but even them can end up killing themselves. Depression is an illness and I don't think anyone could ever have the guarantee to be immune from it.

By Chris' own words he once considered suicide in 2013 and he was generally in a very depressive state since his father's death in 2010. Is it a coincidence that in that same time period his trolls backed down and were leaving him alone (at least until he came back in the spotlight after the 2015 house fire)? Of course Bob's death was the biggest factor along with the HRT he started taking, but in my opinion the lack of interactions contributed too.

Anyway now he's a goddess and jesus too, his enablers keep him engaged and it was never so easy to dismiss his critics as "evil sinners", so I highly doubt he could be at risk of suicide anytime soon. Surely all of reality and hundred billions of creatures in all the multiverses would cease to exist too, right?

 

[King Kiwi]

Don't forget the debilitating power of autism. It's the scourge of our times. Hopefully, someday scientists will find a cure and we'll be rid of it for good.

Tell it like it is.

I applaud anyone with autism who gets out there and gets a job and doesn't complain. There are exceptions, where people truly are unable to work of course. Then there are the ones.... Not all as bad as Chris, but who can't be fucked to try.

Life is a pain in the ass but you can still be productive.

 

[BubbaRobot887]

I actually think he would have killed himself sooner or later if not for all the attention the trolls gave him. It's fucked up, but those were the only social interactions with people more or less his age he could count on since his own actions got him banned from the Game Place (which were once a week anyway) and fucked things up with Megan. I think even his obsession with the love quest mostly stems from him wanting someone who's not an old fart to talk to and share his interests with.

It's sad that he always struggled with his loneliness but then again, he never did anything to change the repulsive sides of his personality so that people could genuinely want to be friends with him.

I think this is likely as well.
Once he got banned from the Game Place he would have had nowhere to turn. At any rate I think he would have put the moves on Barb a lot earlier because he would not have anything to distract him from that quest.
Without the internet he may have also become a true crime story who decided to take revenge of Mary Lee Walsh.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Don't forget the debilitating power of autism. It's the scourge of our times. Hopefully, someday scientists will find a cure and we'll be rid of it for good.

We have a cure already, it's called a Hammer.

Once he got banned from the Game Place he would have had nowhere to turn.

Chris somehow managed to get kicked out of Churches, not just because he wore that fucking Unicorn horn to Church but others while bob was alive until they found the one Rocky was part of who just put up with him but did try to keep him at arms length, Chris even without the internet would have lead a very isolated, and more isolating life because he's a disruptive and unpleasant person.

 

[King Kiwi]

We have a cure already, it's called a Hammer.

You hit the nail on the head. Ow.

 

[Wolfkiller Jr.]

I hope we get to celebrate Valentine's Day with a motherfucking video.