Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Marvin]

Only give him actual troon testimony of their Surgeries going to shit, absolute loads of them. Including the pictures. Pic out good stories form the SRS thread here, and give him the actual reddit link so he doesn't see this site.

@Palla Strozzi To build on this, I'd also consider having examples on hand of troons who don't get the chop but still manage to have fulfilling lives. Troonery is shit all around but for someone deadset on it, there's less harmful shit they can pursue.

Fake tits can be taken out. You can't unchop a dick.

Blaire White would almost be a good example except the troon community absolutely hates Blaire for disagreeing with the troon consensus.

You should have some time. As long as he doesn’t go private the wait times for operations are supposed to be crazy long.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-67087906.amp

Computer nerds might have the cash to get a Thai dick chop.

 

[TismFarmer]

My daughter (24yr) told me this morning that she hates being a woman and doesn't know what she wants to do...
She has a nearly 1 and a half year old and a 6 month old. She says NOW that she feels like a man.
I think hubby and I are going to end up with her oldest and her (ex?) partner will take baby. She is more interested in 'exploring' her gender than her 2 daughters.
Im devastated and furious at the same time.
She has known about the craziness of gender fuckery for years but has been sucked into the idiocy anyway. I'm so angry I want to let her deal with the consequences but they're so awful that I can't.
AAAAAARGH!!
I'm kind of just walking around in a daze, I'm not able to cope with the stupidity of this ideology vs the reality of her actually going along with it. She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

 

[glass_houses]

My daughter (24yr) told me this morning that she hates being a woman and doesn't know what she wants to do...
She has a nearly 1 and a half year old and a 6 month old. She says NOW that she feels like a man.
I think hubby and I are going to end up with her oldest and her (ex?) partner will take baby. She is more interested in 'exploring' her gender than her 2 daughters.
Im devastated and furious at the same time.
She has known about the craziness of gender fuckery for years but has been sucked into the idiocy anyway. I'm so angry I want to let her deal with the consequences but they're so awful that I can't.
AAAAAARGH!!
I'm kind of just walking around in a daze, I'm not able to cope with the stupidity of this ideology vs the reality of her actually going along with it. She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

Honestly, she sounds like someone who has had two toddlers too close together, and feels like she has lost her life. In the past, people like her would stay out late drinking at bars, maybe have a quiet make out session with some random in the backseat of his car before slinking back to their partner/baby sitter, equal parts guilty and triumphant. The whole, "I'm a man irl," is an excuse for your daughter to cut loose from her kids and leg it. She's not a bad mother, she's a man, men can't be mothers therefore she's not a mother.

I wouldn't blame the gender cult in of itself, she very likely would have found some other justification to leave her kids and "find herself".

Please do drag her arse to court and sue her for double her entire income in child support for the next eighteen years. Maybe a year or two of grinding out a marginal living like an authentic deadbeat male parent will get the bullshit out of her system.

EDIT to add: Before dragging her to court, it might be worth dragging her to a psych and get her checked out for post natal depression and all that good shit. Two kids in two years fucks with everyone's head, and I doubt that she's had a full night's sleep since her 21st birthday bash hangover.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

My daughter (24yr) told me this morning that she hates being a woman and doesn't know what she wants to do...
She has a nearly 1 and a half year old and a 6 month old. She says NOW that she feels like a man.
I think hubby and I are going to end up with her oldest and her (ex?) partner will take baby. She is more interested in 'exploring' her gender than her 2 daughters.
Im devastated and furious at the same time.
She has known about the craziness of gender fuckery for years but has been sucked into the idiocy anyway. I'm so angry I want to let her deal with the consequences but they're so awful that I can't.
AAAAAARGH!!
I'm kind of just walking around in a daze, I'm not able to cope with the stupidity of this ideology vs the reality of her actually going along with it. She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

I cannot imagine what you must have felt when she told you that. The shock, confusion, anger, and despair must be almost overwhelming. It's okay to be upset; this is insane. People will try to make you feel like a monster for feeling the way you do, but you're right to be concerned about the consequences of what she's planning. Of course, you love your daughter, too, and that makes this even more wrenching.

It is probably better that she not raise children, particularly little girls, until she figures her shit out, so it's good that there are willing people to take them. Is there any way you can keep the sisters together, though? I feel like they are really going to need each other as they get older. From what you write, I'm assuming that the girls don't share a dad. Would the father of the younger one be amenable to sharing custody? I just hate to hear about siblings, even half siblings, being split up because adults can't agree. If it's not possible, it's not possible, but I think it merits serious consideration.

I completely agree with @glass_houses above. I don't actually blame your daughter for being overwhelmed, but the time to "explore" was before she brought two innocent and completely dependent humans into the picture. She's so young, but I think the reality of adulthood is about to slap her upside the head. Make sure there's no straightforward medical solution to this, then do what you have to do. Protect your granddaughters.

I'm normally hesitant to recommend this, but can you speak to a therapist? Even just a couple sessions might help you vent and clarify your next moves. I think you need input from a sane impartial party. The good news is that the girls are too young to be upset by all of this bullshit, but being abandoned by your mom even as an infant has psychological ramifications later in life, so be vigilant as they grow.

Consult a good lawyer as soon as possible. Do not let your daughter drag this out for months or years, waltzing in and out of their lives as her "gender identity" feelings change. If she wants to do this, she needs to do it cleanly, no trial runs or takesie-backsies. I'm not being harsh just because I hate the gender gnosticism; I would say the same thing whatever the underlying issue was. She cannot be allowed to effectively hijack the childhood of two innocent little girls who did not ask to be born. Adults deal with their problems without involving children, and 24 is plenty old enough to learn that lesson.

I am SO sorry that this is happening, but I know you will find the strength to do what needs to be done.

Edit: Even if she decides not to go through with her plan to torpedo her life, I would keep an eye on her and the girls. You just never know.

 

[Scolopendra Dramatica]

Jesus, I just cannot imagine anything worse. Not for you, not for her and especially not for the kids....

Take your time and collect yourself before you act, you don't need us to tell you that this is a highly charged situation and everyone involved is liable to say and do stupid stuff without the right run up.

Personally I'd find stories, reddit posts, testimonials from the children of trannies, one's who mourn the loss of a parent that never died. Then there's all the numerous health issues that testosterone creates in women, God, it's not unreasonable for you to express the fear if losing your child early or for the grandchildren to lose their mothers health, even someone bought all the way in can feel the fear of a loved one, you've just got to prove it's founded.

Take her away for a weekend, find someone to watch her kids and give her space to think for a little while, it won't be much, but sometimes all it takes is the nagging doubts of someone that truly loves you to stop you from doing dumb shit or at least to slow you down in it.

I'm so sorry darling, I'd have every fucker pushing this evil shot if I could.

Doubly so as I grew up with a sick mother, it's hell on kids, grows them up too fast, ruins their ability to socialize with others (those kids live a heavier more serious lot than their peers, they lack the carefree fun that attracts other children) gets in the way of any ambition they might have had all because they're too busy nursing someone that should be looking after them. Your lass needs to go in aware that this might well be the future she's CHOOSING for her own kids, she likely hasn't even considered that yet.

 

[Otis Mallebrok]

My daughter (24yr) told me this morning that she hates being a woman and doesn't know what she wants to do...

Let her read this thread, and also consider that she may have a depression due to the stress of suddenky having two little children. And if so, it tends to pass.

Under no circumstamce should you indulge her in any lies or fantasies. Tell her straight up, that she will never be a man, yet that she will ruin her life and many other lives, if she decides to pretend. The truth is always kinder.

 

[Wallace]

Honestly, she sounds like someone who has had two toddlers too close together, and feels like she has lost her life. In the past, people like her would stay out late drinking at bars, maybe have a quiet make out session with some random in the backseat of his car before slinking back to their partner/baby sitter, equal parts guilty and triumphant. The whole, "I'm a man irl," is an excuse for your daughter to cut loose from her kids and leg it. She's not a bad mother, she's a man, men can't be mothers therefore she's not a mother.

I wouldn't blame the gender cult in of itself, she very likely would have found some other justification to leave her kids and "find herself".

Troonery can be just as much of a flight from adulthood as a flight from your sex.

 

[Sonalee Rashitwar]

My daughter (24yr) told me this morning that she hates being a woman and doesn't know what she wants to do...
She has a nearly 1 and a half year old and a 6 month old. She says NOW that she feels like a man.
I think hubby and I are going to end up with her oldest and her (ex?) partner will take baby. She is more interested in 'exploring' her gender than her 2 daughters.
Im devastated and furious at the same time.
She has known about the craziness of gender fuckery for years but has been sucked into the idiocy anyway. I'm so angry I want to let her deal with the consequences but they're so awful that I can't.
AAAAAARGH!!
I'm kind of just walking around in a daze, I'm not able to cope with the stupidity of this ideology vs the reality of her actually going along with it. She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

I may not agree with everything you or others think (I’m an oddity as a lesbian detransitioner, and so it makes for strange bedfellows at times), but I know that this has a big impact on the whole family.

At times I was awful to relatives who didn’t go along with my pronouns or new name. Lots of arguments, and it really didn’t change anyone’s views, just split family further apart ideologically. In some instances, I don’t regret losing the relationship, but for some, I really do, and I’m worried about certain relatives becoming more radicalized due in part to me acting like the world was my personal safe space. Both sides on the issue dug in and reinforced the trenches.


This is not what you want. I’m not saying that you have to affirm, but perhaps a good approach is to have common ground and help your daughter, if you can. I was only a bit older than she is when I got in my head to transition. Luckily, maturity and certain life and health experiences led me to actually carefully evaluate from sources on both sides of the issue, and at least see medical risk. Decided to think a bit, delayed an action towards transing.


I wasn’t having an easy time in my life when I first started wanting to transition. It was brutal. Lack of sleep and lots of stress due to a sick family member, while working. I didn’t feel heard and didn’t have support or help in even mundane shit. Didn’t see friends. Felt stuck. Probably depressed. Navel gazing because all I did was work and caregive.

Two young kids? She’s definitely stressed out and might have a postpartum issue. Can you try to “see” her, as woo as that sounds? I mean, be emotionally present. Help her get some sleep.

Your best bet might be to do what you need to do for now to be able to converse without fighting, and express concern for her + kids, suggest she addresses her mental health, but don’t discuss gender. Stay calm and don’t get bogged down into arguments.

Express to her that you don’t believe in gender roles, hope she does not pass them to her kids, and that you never thought she was less than or anything for being a woman. If you can, get her out of the house and into a calm (no clubbing!) but social activity or hobby. A big part of my dropping the trans thing was spending a week or so at a sort of low-tech educational retreat. Having a break, and enjoying a hobby and new people/making friends made all the gender BS and ruminative thinking start to shift, because I had connections and other things to do with my brain.


I think you’d have to be the calmest person I know to pull this off, and I’m not even sure she could. But, take what you can use here and leave the rest. I think TL;DR: people transitioning are often isolated and unhappy. If you can do something about those things, they might desist with less drama.

 

[TismFarmer]

@Sonalee Rashitwar
So far my plan is to listen to her vent, offer to have the kids for a week or so to let her have some space and sleep and not talk about any of this except to say I'm ready to listen when she wants to talk. She has been raised her whole life with a Mama who is very GNC, and I've spoken openly about how glad I am that I wasn't able to be sucked into the lie of transgender ideology. I don't believe in strict gender roles and have raised her knowing what I believe and why.
I'm going to leave all discussion of this aside until she's had some alone time to think about it. I don't think she really thinks this. I think she needs to be special for being herself instead of being someone's Mama. I'm still panicking and stressed though. My smartwatch told me off this morning for only getting 1hr26min sleep! I'm in it for the long haul because my Granddaughters deserve a Mama no matter what.
Edit: I'm really glad I can vent and express my fear and rage here because that way I can be calm and peaceful in my discussions with her. It makes a difference that I have the thought in the back of my mind that I can always have a spew here so I can keep it behind my teeth when I'm with her.

 

[deermeat]

The guy I mentioned, he just keeps getting WORSE in every new photo. I don't know how he has no shame, but judging how forced his facial expressions are its clear the dude is just so far gone.
Also his troon partner is literally skinwalking a different trans girl, the Bloodborne Lilith one.
It's insane bro. For the love of God, I wanna post it so bad. It's..... Its truly unlike anything Ive ever seen. The dude likes actual women so it's crazy seeing him become this down bad. How can you let yourself be cucked by these mfs. How can you let them humiliate you like this. Bro your career as a "creator" is over.

 

[HalfPint]

Would be very interested to hear from anyone who might have helpful advice. Thanks in advance kiwis

I am sorry to hear about your cousin. Maybe share the documentary The Lost Boys with him? Maybe something will resonate with him. One of the men interviewed is Ritchie that someone already mentioned. Apologies if you have already watched this documentary.
When someone is so sucked into the troon ideology cult group think, whatever you want to call it, it can feel like you’re talking to a wall.
Good luck fren.

Edit: just wanted to echo what others have said about being calm if you decide to converse. Trying to change someone’s mind usually backfires.

 

[Jacques1194]

Only a few weeks, around a month, for it to start sounding froggy; continues to drop over time depending on dosage, beginning register, how much vocal exercise they do or don’t do etc. Most of the changes from T are quite rapid, beginning within that timeframe, many ofc nonreversible.

Hopefully she came to her senses and didn’t take it, or even if she’s “waiting” there’s still time to desist. If she sounds the same, I’d assume she either didn’t start at all, or potentially JUST started taking it.

Many pooners obviously never achieve anything close to a male register, some get the timbre but still have typical female inflections and speech patterns, others get vocal damage and struggle to speak at all. Not great outcomes. I hope your friend is safe and doing better now.

Sorry for late response to this, but I think I'll wait later this year, and if there's still no change in her voice then something must of happened.She still does go by he/him pronouns so I dont think she has detrans.Will try to keep updates.

 

[Not A Bunny]

I'm kind of just walking around in a daze, I'm not able to cope with the stupidity of this ideology vs the reality of her actually going along with it. She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

For the same reason smart people all over fall for cults. Because they're smart. Because they're sure they know the answer because they're smart.

Having two children so quickly, she's probably going through a lot, and for that, I sympathize. When people are vulnerable and stressed out, they look for answers. And not even the right ones, but the ones that bring them greatest comfort, likely, because they get this idea that the thing that brings them the most comfort "clicks" in their head, and having watched too many movies, they believe that enlightenment can happen quickly and without self-reflection and years of study.

I firmly believe that's where the transgender craze comes from. If there were to be a large, honest and truly probing study of when someone decided they were transgender, I would wager that it was roughly around some time when they became uncomfortable with their bodies, or were exposed to a lot of gender ideology that focused on the disadvantages of their sex and wanted an escape. And it becomes an ugly, sludgy mess because the diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" isn't material in any way; it's all based on "feelings".

It's why they tell you that gender/customer affirming care is the true answer. Because they can't particularly prove it, but they know you can't prove against it, either.

So, I'm going to call it postpartum depression combined with probably body dysmorphia (ever consider that she doesn't like what pregnancy did to her body?).

Of course, I'm just an asshole on the internet wishing the best for a perfect stranger and their family, so don't take my word for it.

 

[Palla Strozzi]

He could be gay or bi and ashamed of it

This is what I suspect and I know my mum always suspected he was gay (I was never sure). Our family is not outright "homophobic" but very middle-class and culturally conservative, i.e., the attitudes seem to become quite different when it's "one of us."

The only thing I can think of is to stage an intervention with his parents and loved ones. In that intervention, focus on stopping him from having the surgery. Don't tackle the whole trans thing all at once, he'll just get defensive.

Thanks very much for this. This is what I have come to lean towards in the last few days. I have to pretend to be pro-trans, to take the "being a woman" angle seriously, and just try to get the surgery idea out of his head from a position of concern that is purely about physical safety/side effects. That's really all I care about anyway.

I assume he’s getting it in the UK? UK operations under the NHS are particularly bad from what I have seen.

Yes it is UK. And the tide does seem to slowly be turning among the medical establishment, but far too slowly.

Only give him actual troon testimony of their Surgeries going to shit, absolute loads of them.

Yes, and thanks. Appearing to be anti-trans will just cement the determination.

You should have some time. As long as he doesn’t go private the wait times for operations are supposed to be crazy long.

This is what I am hoping! But Marvin's comment is exactly the sort of concern I have. He has a pretty well-paying job.

Computer nerds might have the cash to get a Thai dick chop.

She has known about the craziness of gender fuckery for years but has been sucked into the idiocy anyway.

I am just now realising that this is the real tragedy behind all this. People with real problems - mental health, social anxiety, etc etc - are being sucked into this and then butchered or poisoned rather than helped. Modern medicine is an absolute shit-show and I really do wonder now for how long it has been like this.

And it becomes an ugly, sludgy mess because the diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" isn't material in any way; it's all based on "feelings".

I have become convinced 100% that the entire field of psychiatry - absolutely all of it - is guesswork at best, quackery at worst.

She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

Best of luck with this, I sympathise. I can only imagine what it is like when it is your child.

---

I really really appreciate all the advice. Thank you all so much.

 

[AfghanBlue]

Yes, and thanks. Appearing to be anti-trans will just cement the determination.

you're lucky in that there is now- due to the tidal wave of hasty troonouts over the last few years- soooo much regret being spewed direct from the horses mouth.
Check out the 'Trannies Posting their L's Online' thread, for more general stuff, aside form the 'SRS and GRS horrors' thread.

On the L's thread, the last few pages recently has had some posting wide reaching 'my life is much more miserable since tranistioning' posts on reddit, and lots of people agreeing- these are screencapped, as well as screencaps of the fact that the mods deleted it as soon as they could. Make sure - show dont tell- that he see's how they censor any wrongthink from thier own.

 

[getbackjojo]

I found out today that my 16 y/o niece is now a he/him. she was “non binary” for the past 3-4 years. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. but my sister and her husband are “cool” parents that always let their kids do whatever they want.

at least they aren’t letting her take any hormones until she’s 18. there is still time. but i won’t be able to convince her of anything. she hasn’t talked to me since she joined the cult. i was her favorite person when she was a kid. she had no inclinations of any gender issues. she was a girly girl. loved dresses and disney princesses. it was so easy to make her laugh. i miss those days.

things started to change when she was around 11. i get it. that’s the same age i started to rebel, embrace counter culture and gender bending (like painting nails as a guy, nothing weird”) and care more about friends than family. it’s normal for teens to feel this way when puberty starts. but she fell in with a degenerate crowd.

she became obsessed with undertale. then she became obsessed with being gay, or non binary, or whatever. it changed a lot. her friends became “lesbians”. then nonbinary. now at least 4 of them are trans. she sees the special treatment they get and wants the same.

she changed her name to “toby” because of undertale. that’s like if changed my name to “kurt” at her age because i loved nirvana. it’s ridiculous. but teens are now encouraged to embrace the insane. it hurts to see someone so obviously fall into a cult and be helpless to do anything about it.

when this first started with the non binary thing, my sister called me crying about how she’s losing her daughter. i wanted to help but i thought, this is just a phase. she’ll outgrow it. how naive i was. i told her to take her to a group therapy. i thought they’d be able to work it out. of course we all know how that goes these days.

to make things worse we live in a liberal shithole so it’s inevitable it seems. no one here is safe. i’m glad i never had kids. i don’t know how i’d deal with this knowing the state would take my child away from me and force them to become a trânny.
i’m not looking for answers to anything here. just vomiting out my feelings because i have no one to talk to about this.

my sister no longer wants to talk about it because she knows how i feel. my brother is blue pulled as fuck and obsessed with drag queens and gay shit, and thinks being trans is “no big deal”. it really sucks seeing your family who used to be critical thinkers and somewhat intelligent bury their head in the sand, as if they have no original thoughts left in their head, the light in their eyes gone.

what the fuck has happened to the world?

 

[AfghanBlue]

what the fuck has happened to the world

I'm so sorry dude.
I was... Still kinda am, terrified for my step niece - the full neice has literally just been born, so I think she will be okay, but the older one.. I pray that she has just missed it, and I think she has.
She's the same kinda kid, very girly, but also those kinda girls, when they are insecure, are the ones who fall hardest into this shit.
The thing that saves her mighg just about hold out as being just in time for your neice, with is that times are changing, there is more pushback, and it's just flat out not really very cool anymore.
By the time she actually gets up in age to "do" something about it with hormones it will probably be even less the done thing. Also it sounds like her iDenTitY is in flux and she's not really that dedicated to this shit.

The only thing is to maybe present suggested options to her parents a out getting her away somewhere for a while, into the actual working world, the natural world, the non libbed out city living world, away from her usual bs and bs people. Have a look at erasmus or work away programmes and rave about how your friends kid is on it having the time of their life or whatever. Give her parents the idea to set her lose to get her head washed out of this shit.

Again I'm sorry and I hope things get better, and you can stop feeling that dread and sadness, and honestly, no fooling, I think finally we might at least be breaching the corner on it so there's a chance this finally will be true.

I was talking to a pal about the worries with my neice, he ahs a half brother the same age, and he said the tide has turned, for kids that have their head on right. He also pointed out it's much easier for boys as they tend to be more chipper as a breed, that his brothers peers think tik tok is gay as fuck and a waste of time.
You've got to be a real lost cause already in a very different way as a boy to become the agp creep here, the risk is for (actually) gay boys in current year. But they will probably be okay if they can survive school with the bullshit. Thankfully laws are actually coming in to stop this shit in schools where it really actually sets in.

Try to be there for your family without engaging on the gender shit at all, but throwing any and all distraction their way, anything to break through the mind virus just by sheer virtue of being able to have a break from thinking about it and focus on something else for a moment.

 

[Aunt Carol]

she became obsessed with undertale.

HOMESTU-- sorry, force of habit.

I've never seen a "watch your tween girl for the warning signs!" article that didn't look like a 1980s anti-AD&D tract; someone really should be warning the parents in a way that's actually useful. By the time there's a binder under the mattress, it's gone on way too long. With the benefit of hindsight, there are a bunch of "gateway" disaffected teen media franchises that shouldn't be banned, but as soon as you start seeing them, it's time for a parent to step up the self-esteem through self-empowerment, going outside, etc.

Spoiler: pl: teenage media commentary

When I was a horrible small and teenager, my parents took me aside and told me that if I was interested in exploring Christianity, I didn't have to keep it a secret and they would still love me, but they wanted to know if I was going anywhere.

I was big on Jesus Christ Superstar at the time and I really needed the intervention to be about Andrew Lloyd Webber, but I appreciated the gesture and never got as far as Cats so maybe it worked. They didn't take away my original Broadway cast album or anything, just paid attention, even if they drew the wrong conclusion.

 

[Flamin Park]

I don't particularly see this as a win, as troons have a habit of fucking up other people's kids. They do reproduce via abuse, after all.


I have done so in the bluntest "why, though?" terms and gotten nowhere, I've always been quite outspoken about my distaste for trannies around my friends, so I have no reason to change my tone now. All I ever get is the totally canned non-answer of "I've always been this way, I've just never told anyone" and stuff like that - It's like, "no bro, you weren't like this a year ago."

I am honestly just convinced that it's porn-sickness and either untreated or badly treated autism at this point. I'm so beyond caring at this stage that I've just considered them a lost cause. I've had some historic experience dealing with trannies in workplaces and from afar, but to have so many people in my immediate sphere do this so quickly is quite shocking to me. I'm a bit older than all of these people, and everyone else in our group in the 30+ camp is just as confused as I am, so I'm assuming it's mainly a 20-something-year-old zoomer problem? I genuinely have no clue.

Probably because we were the last generation to go through school and general life with actual social dynamics (including bullying) and life outside the internet

Sure you could be a weirdo in high school but you had to learn to man up and deal with the hassle you'd get and you couldn't lock yourself away on some discord with endless groomers telling you that of course you shouldn't live in the real world and should just be an anime princess

 

[Ed Special]

HOMESTU-- sorry, force of habit.

To be fair, underfail is the product of a guy who did creative work for homosuck, so for underfail to go on to spawn a whole new generation of tumblr trannies is... entirely unsurprising.