Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Flamin Park]

My daughter (24yr) told me this morning that she hates being a woman and doesn't know what she wants to do...
She has a nearly 1 and a half year old and a 6 month old. She says NOW that she feels like a man.
I think hubby and I are going to end up with her oldest and her (ex?) partner will take baby. She is more interested in 'exploring' her gender than her 2 daughters.
Im devastated and furious at the same time.
She has known about the craziness of gender fuckery for years but has been sucked into the idiocy anyway. I'm so angry I want to let her deal with the consequences but they're so awful that I can't.
AAAAAARGH!!
I'm kind of just walking around in a daze, I'm not able to cope with the stupidity of this ideology vs the reality of her actually going along with it. She has always been intelligent, how can she fall for this?

Don't give her an out to be a perpetual child
She wants to be a man? Cool then he can man up and deal with his responsibilities

I imagine this might put a significant dent in the enthusiasm

 

[TismFarmer]

I spoke with my daughter today.
I told her I understand that she is probably feeling very overwhelmed and maybe like she's disappearing into her role as Mama and not herself.
I Also reminded her that I had told her to NOT have a second child until the first was at least 2 or 3 as she would find the jump from 1 to 2 very difficult. I told her we would give her regular respite from the girls to help her have time for herself as well as time for her relationship.
I also said I would always support HER because she's my daughter and I love her. But I would not support her to transition
I said that T is poison and at the very least it will make her aggressive, angry, and impulsive. I said I wouldn't put up with her partner acting that way around the girls without some serious repercussions and I wouldn't take it from her either. I also said that apart from the fact that she would look STUPID if she had surgery (she has a gorgeous hourglass figure) that her girls should NOT be subjected to their Mama rejecting the body that they will probably grow one day. I said that kind of rejection of their future selves and of the womanhood they should be proud of, would be psychological abuse in my eyes and if she went ahead with that then her Papa and I would be applying for custody of the girls along with No. 2's father.
I said even though I love her with all of my heart, that she is an adult and can, at the end of the day, take care of herself. The girls are still tiny, they need everything for years to come, they CANNOT protect themselves and should not have to.
I will, if forced, work to take your daughters away to protect them from anyone who will hurt them. Even if it's their Mama.
Then I reminded her that much like suicide, transitioning is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are much better ways to feel better, and we will help her find them.
I don't know what she's thinking right now but at least she listened, didn't have a tantrum or anything and heard me say straight out that I do not and ever will believe she is transgender. And that going ahead will cost her her daughters so she'd better try everything else first.

 

[I call shenanigans]

I am honestly just convinced that it's porn-sickness and either untreated or badly treated autism at this point. I'm so beyond caring at this stage that I've just considered them a lost cause.

My best friend trooned out back in the late 80s when he was about 29. His younger brother (my boyfriend for years until he came out of the closet at 21) also started transitioning about 12 months after, but he took his own life shortly after his brother had SRS. They were both gay men, and very promiscuous, although the oldest brother did have one long term live in relationship that lasted about 3 years before his partner left him for someone younger. We were very close, and while I didn’t really believe in people being trans, I did support him and spend a lot of time with him when he was cross-dressing both away from work, and after he quit work. In those days there were loads of pre-requisites before getting surgery, including months of psych appointments, 12 months minimum of total social transition etc. He decided eventually that he wasn’t going to wait for that, so bought his plane ticket to Thailand for breast augmentation and penile inversion surgery. A mutual friend told me, it was botched. I have no idea how because prior to going overseas, his shrink told him to dump all his female friends because we’d never accept him as a woman, and be offended by his role play. Plus we were at the age where we’d start having kids, that he could never do and that would reinforce that he was not and never could be a real woman.

I have no idea what happened to him, because I never saw him again. I suspect he regretted his castration though because sex was such a driving force in his life, and I doubt he managed any satisfying sex after his SRS. Before SRS, he’d hit the beats multiple times every weekend, and often during the week. We see how bad the results of the surgeries are now, over 35 years later, so I can’t even imagine the abomination of a neo vagina he would have had. What I did get to do though was have a really good discussion with both brothers before I was cut loose. What I learned from both of them was that getting a life partner was really hard for gays as they aged. 30 was considered the end of the line for getting a permanent partner. After 30 you were just an old has been queen, to be ridiculed by the younger prettier ones. The younger brother 41%ed at 31 years old, a few days after I gave birth to my firstborn. I wasn’t even told at the time, instead finding out months later from a mutual friends mother. I still wonder about the older brother. I don’t even know if he stayed in the state, if he ever married, or ever found any happiness in his life. It’s shocking to me how not only could they change their bodies so drastically, committing to a lifetime of pharmaceutical reliance, but also cut off so many of their friends and family in pursuit of the impossible. This man wasn’t stupid, he was actually a scientist, yet he could still be sucked down the black hole of sex reassignment. If he’s still alive I’m sure he’d be horrified at what he looks like now as a 67 year old Troon. He was always incredibly vain, and I can’t imagine his femininity measured up to his extremely high standards, given he never passed even when socially transitioning. He did have really nice clothes though, nothing like the shit troons these days try to shock us with.

Edited for spelling

 

[Fapcop]

I don't know what she's thinking right now but at least she listened, didn't have a tantrum or anything and heard me say straight out that I do not and ever will believe she is transgender. And that going ahead will cost her her daughters so she'd better try everything else first.

Kinda hoping that this is just some primo bait/LARP because holy shit it’s like a little horror movie inside an already horrible thread.

Can’t imagine being in that situation. Or being the dad to those poor kids.

All the best, hope she snaps out of it.

 

[deermeat]

Kinda hoping that this is just some primo bait/LARP because holy shit it’s like a little horror movie inside an already horrible thread.

Can’t imagine being in that situation. Or being the dad to those poor kids.

All the best, hope she snaps out of it.

My biggest fear with these people is that they will just default to "wow my mother is transphobic" behind the scenes and seek solace in their cult. The cult accepts parents trooning out their kids as young as age 1 and they support trans parents. They do not care about child abuse. They do not care about consent. They do not even bother to do the bare minimum and see how puberty blockers affect kids ability to transition afterward. Her potentially doing this to their kids means nothing to them.

 

[TismFarmer]

@deermeat @Fapcop

Unfortunately not bait.
Although I think something else is going on.
I think her partner might be a bit checked out. He is only 22 and works a labouring job 12 hour days to support them. He is therefore too tired (genuinely) to help with much after work 6 days a week.
Maybe she wants his attention back? Maybe she wants more of mine? (we used to live near each other and now live around 80km (50 miles?) away.
The one thing I have helping me is that she has gotten this from the internet and not social contagion as transgenderism is very uncommon in my country.
She KNOWS this is my own private Nightmare so maybe she's chosen this as a way to guarantee my involvement. Hopefully the way I've reacted will stop this if she didn't mean it, because unless she's 100% determined, she won't want to risk losing her whole life (Mama, Papa, Daughters a d Partner) and I've made it very clear that that is what the price is.
Also, if I end up with these girls because she chose gender-feels over them, they will have a relationship with her but I will not allow them to think that it's normal or OK. They can love Mama, not her lifestyle. Much like if she was a drug addict and I was keeping them a relationship despite that.

 

[Cryptojew]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but I just found out the girl my brother is dating became a pooner. This will be the second girl in a row who's pooned out while dating him. She's also the second girlfriend in a row who doesn't know how to drive, despite being an adult.

I love my brother and he's never come acoross as an abuser of any sort, but this is a really weird and specific coincidence. Should I be concerned at all?

 

[Gingervitis]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but I just found out the girl my brother is dating became a pooner. This will be the second girl in a row who's pooned out while dating him. She's also the second girlfriend in a row who doesn't know how to drive, despite being an adult.

I love my brother and he's never come acoross as an abuser of any sort, but this is a really weird and specific coincidence. Should I be concerned at all?

Have you tried introducing him to a cute and trustworthy friend of your’s?

 

[Ed Special]

Should I be concerned at all?

Has he stuck with the pooners until they inevitably decide he's a troonphobe and break up with him, or does he immediately break up with them himself? Also, roughly where in the world is he dating? If he's in a major city with reliable public transit or a strong bicycle culture, them not being able to drive isn't a red flag. If he's out in the suburbs, however... yeah he's in the wrong for dating anxiety-crippled mental womanlets.

 

[Cryptojew]

Has he stuck with the pooners until they inevitably decide he's a troonphobe and break up with him, or does he immediately break up with them himself? Also, roughly where in the world is he dating? If he's in a major city with reliable public transit or a strong bicycle culture, them not being able to drive isn't a red flag. If he's out in the suburbs, however... yeah he's in the wrong for dating anxiety-crippled mental womanlets.

He stuck with the last one until she broke up with him (after maybe 4 years together). She was in the suburbs. This new one he met at college, so I'm not sure where she lives normally. She certainly doesn't look like she rides bikes around .

 

[Ed Special]

He stuck with the last one until she broke up with him

Welp, there's decent odds he also troons, then

 

[glass_houses]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but I just found out the girl my brother is dating became a pooner. This will be the second girl in a row who's pooned out while dating him. She's also the second girlfriend in a row who doesn't know how to drive, despite being an adult.

I love my brother and he's never come acoross as an abuser of any sort, but this is a really weird and specific coincidence. Should I be concerned at all?

I would be very concerned. It could be that your brother is the type who has a deep seated need to be needed, and ends up in relationships with broken girls because they will let him take care of them. This is the sort of personality trait that has men like your brother lurching from one NPD women to another, always ending up in fucked up, abusive relationships.

You need to sit down with your brother and try to figure out why he's attracted to women like that, and explain that at some point, one of these unstable, needy women will put a screwdriver between his ribs, because playing saviour always gets you martyred.

 

[expectant asshole]

@TismFarmer point your daughter towards Mumsnet. It really helped me to be able to commiserate with other women going through similar struggles of sleepless nights and feeding nightmares. The feminist boards can get a bit full on, but there’s loads of other threads discussing every aspect of childcare and other crap like tv shows or annoying neighbours. Maybe chatting shit to other mums online will help her realise she’s not alone, but also not a man.

Unfarmerlike ((hugs))

 

[DenseDeerFather]

there's this mental health gathering place I attend weekly. And there is this chick who also attends. She's very obviously female, she goes by a female name and she responses when staff refers to her with feminine pronouns.

Although privately, she's beginning to call herself by a masculine name but keeping her first name as a middle name. Why? Well because she's a self professed enby. She gets offended when you, not staff, calls her she

Poor girl is absolutely fucked mentally. Admitted to getting groomed by numerous men during her childhood, cutting, her mom is severely mentally ill well and so gets admitted to the psych ward numerous times a year. Is extremely sexual minded, often talking about sex and having sex and extreme kinks. Gleefully talked about the time her boyfriend fucked her while she was on the phone with her grandma.

Uh..... Right.

And to top it all off there's the troon shit. She plans to cut her tits off. She often comes in with a new color hair dye weekly. Some call her Natalia Brite for funsies after Rainbow Brite. She got piercings and tattoos all over, some of which she got when she was underage.

I don't mind tattoos or piercings but she's getting more and more and with the cut tit procedure she's ruining herself.

I can relate to the shit she's dealing with but trooning out is the worst way to cope.

She's fully brainwashed by the troon cult too.. Often talking about how troon athletes are just as valid as cis ones, how transphobic a, b and c is. How JKR is Hitler. How evil cis men are... Despite having a cis boyfriend who is probably not into the lack of tits either.

Obviously she's mentally ill and only makes herself even more ill by destroying herself at age 19

Quoting myself here but I was talking to this girl yesterday and she's....ugh it's so sad.

She mentioned dropping a friend recently because said friend bought a Trump Tower shit and actively supports the guy, saying something along the lines of;

"Well now I just feel so weird as a nonbinary queer"

I call bullshit on that because she's 1, only attracted to men, 2, she's dating a guy, 3, she was thirsting about Formula 1 drivers and the Ferarri team and got upset about Lewis Hamilton joining because he's "not as hot as Carlos Sainz Jr." literally a minute afterward. Actually, she has only expressed attraction to men so far.

Bitch, you are not queer. You are a straight woman with severe traumas that brainfucked you into the trannyverse. It's very obvious from the way she speaks of her past that this is the case.

And no. listening to lesbian musicians does not make you a queer nonbinary. I used to feel bad for her because she's clearly mentally fucked but I kinda get irritated by her performance arts.

 

[deermeat]

The dude I mentioned looks more and more ugly with each selfie, it's honestly impressive.
Also despite setting up a GoFundMe because he was "urgent need", he just posted a video of a concert he went to states away. Huh! Odd. I wonder why no one is in the replies on his account talking about it. People gave him over a thousand dollars. An abled bodied man who can drive and lives with another able bodied man, both have work experience and live in an area full of jobs.

I think him trooning out was kinda a much needed wakeup call on my end. Anyone else have a similar experience? Where you think one way of a person and then it turns out they were the complete opposite, something you found out just through a lifestyle change they adapted.

 

[Brain Power]

I think I saw my ex classmate who trooned out yesterday. Originally he looked like fat Leafy, now he looks like fat Leafy mixed with Kevin Gibes, with long and completely fried hair from the shitty bleaching, and wearing clothes that barely fit him, just the perfect look for someone whose new name sounds like a pornstar's. Again, what a fucking waste going from one of the smartest guys in the region that wanted a doctorate in maths to whatever the fuck that thing I saw was.

 

[Joe Lieberman]

If he’s still alive I’m sure he’d be horrified at what he looks like now as a 67 year old Troon. He was always incredibly vain, and I can’t imagine his femininity measured up to his extremely high standards, given he never passed even when socially transitioning. He did have really nice clothes though, nothing like the shit troons these days try to shock us with.

I know a number of trans people (MtF and FtM) and a handful of the MtFs are actually very chic/stylish - the "dolls" as they say. A significant majority of the MtFs dress conspicuously/inappropriately, with zero thought into what works well on their bodies, usually trying to dress like they're a decade-plus younger. I don't know any FtMs who do the whole bow tie and suspenders look, all the FtMs I know dress inconspicuously and wear t-shirts, flannels, jeans etc.

Minor powerlevel but the first trans person I ever saw IRL was at my first job in the early 00's when I was 15-16 and stocking shelves at a major pharmacy chain in the US. There was a trans woman who would come in who was definitely in his 40's, maybe 50's, who was always extremely chatty with all the staff. This was the era of jailbait pop stars like Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera, and this middle-aged man was dressing like a slutty teenage girl - like, was wearing the type of clothes that a lot of teenage girls would get a serious talking to from their parents about wearing. My take-away from seeing and interacting with him was "this guy is a freak," and when I've told this story, people's responses have been evenly split between "yeah, that's a reasonable reaction to seeing someone dressed extraordinarily age inappropriately" and "why were you being so judgmental when you were 15, just let her live her life"

 

[NerdShamer]

"why were you being so judgmental when you were 15, just let her live her life"

Even an middle aged woman doing the "slutty teen" would have been cringe, back then.

 

[Hyperbolic Steroids]

Minor powerlevel but the first trans person I ever saw IRL was at my first job

Blue collar troons are something else. 6'5" tall guy with incredibly broad shoulders. He'd spit out a giant ass loogie after smoke breaks right at the door. Luckily he was always in uniform. One time this fairly tall woman (like 5'10") mentioned that he was so tall. In the worst falsetto ever he expressed how much he hated it. First troon I ever saw and boy did it make my skin crawl.
Unfortunately it wouldn't be the last. Recently saw that a girl I knew pooned out. She was an autistic weeb with probably a plethora of other mental illnesses that were undiagnosed but she was pretty intelligent. Now she has a whispy mustache and is still 5'4". What a shame.

 

[Waifuwars]

Saw a friend I've known for a few years post on Instagram saying he's been on estrogen for a month accompanied by the usual autogynophellic mirror selfies. We haven't been close for a bit since he's been a professional part-timer/DJ for awhile after finishing his masters degree. I guess it was inevitable since the whole underground rave/DJ crowd is extremely liberal, though the warning signs were there since he's crossdressed before for anime conventions (anime to troon pipeline is real). The cringe really got to me when he posted that he was DJing at a "cumcore" rave. It's sad but I guess it's a blessing that we've grown apart. It just sucks because he was a good friend who'd helped me out in a major way a few years back.