Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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REGENDarySumanai said:
You are playing your favorite RPG and you are on your quest when a fat pigman barges into you out from nowhere, says "Enjoy prison, stalker." and then you are thrust into a incredibly tough battle that you must win. What do you do?
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Confront him, he can't handle such things and will flee in terror. "Enjoy prison, stalker!" is the only move he can do so you're safe. Unless you're black. I'm sorry but it's a TPK at that point. At least there's still enjoy there for a resurrection. It's just ground up.
 
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Anonymus Fluhre said:
Confront him, he can't handle such things and will flee in terror. "Enjoy prison, stalker!" is the only move he can do so you're safe. Unless you're black. I'm sorry but it's a TPK at that point. At least there's still enjoy there for a resurrection. It's just ground up.
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A WILD FAT RICK APPEARS!

HE USED "ENJOY PRISON STALKER!"

IT WASN'T VERY EFFECTIVE.
 
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REGENDarySumanai said:
You are playing your favorite RPG and you are on your quest when a fat pigman barges into you out from nowhere, says "Enjoy prison, stalker." and then you are thrust into a incredibly tough battle that you must win. What do you do?
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Skyrim: Steal Fatrick's Manuscript

Quick Walkthrough​

  1. After joining the Thieves Guild, talk to Vex in The Ragged Flagon about Fatrick
  2. Steal the manuscript
  3. Return it to Vex for a reward.

Detailed Walkthrough​

Talk to Vex in the Ragged Flagon to get the assignment to steal Fatrick's unfinished manuscript for A Christmas Carnage.

Seek out Alan "Torswats" Winston in Whiterun. Pay him the amount of gold he asks and he will send a courier to the Jarl of Whiterun with a message that Fatrick has been grinding Redguard children into pepperoni in his basement. The Jarl then sends a SWAT team of guards to Fatrick's half hovel in the plains district. Follow them to the hovel. (for players trying level their alchemy skill; there are tomato plants here but they are not harvestable, since Fatrick put salt in the soil.) When the SWAT guards are confronting Fatrick outside, he will yell and weakly swing at them, causing enough of a distraction to allow you to sneak into the half hovel. There is a fence with a locked gate, but you don't need to pick the lock, as the level designers at Bethesda placed the fence the wrong way around, allowing you to easily climb over it. (note: this has been fixed in the unofficial Skyrim patch.)

Once inside, you can find the manuscript on a desk near the fart couch next to several empty bottles of Nord mead. Depending on the time of day, you may need to sneak past Nikki, who is on the fart couch getting her vagina farted into by Nazeem. There are some books on the bookshelf you can loot, including Starship Repo and In The Black, but no Thieves' Guild fence will pay more than 0 gold for them. Once back outside you can steal Fatrick's horse "Rustang" to get away, but you may not want to bother as it has the lowest stats of any horse in the game.

Bugs
Fatrick claims to be part of the Stormcloak Faction, but his dialog is all Imperial aligned talking points.
Fatrick will sometimes repeat the same dialog over and over again no matter what dialog tree option you've chosen.
 
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Anonymus Fluhre said:
Normal because he's so basic and fairy because he's a faggot.
And don't forget, Fairy is strong against Dark types.
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He's his own type, which is weak against all types, has no strengths or resistances, and all his combat abilities make Magikarp's Splash look awesome. In fact, no ability he has causes any damage to enemies, only to himself.
 
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Slight powerlevel but sometimes when reading up on some of the featured lolcows I start to get a bit MATI at the fact that these are actual, real, demented people that have been meticulously documented rather than just caricatures or fictitious characters. Whenever that happens, this thread never fails to bring a smile back to my face. I'm not sure precisely why, but this porky fellow amuses me to no end.

I was revisiting one of the excellent "best of" posts by @I'mThePatMan! the other day and I just felt like sharing another one of my favourite Patty moments, when he stalker-childed verified GoodReads author Ken Prescott's 1-star review of "In The Black" before stealthily editing his comment when he realized his blunder:

www.goodreads.com_review_show_3844071666.png
No, stalker child, it turns out it was you who had no idea what was occurring here.

Oh Patrick, you bring me so much joy! Please never change.
 
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deadtofaunus said:
Slight powerlevel but sometimes when reading up on some of the featured lolcows I start to get a bit MATI at the fact that these are actual, real, demented people that have been meticulously documented rather than just caricatures or fictitious characters.
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Tell me if you were reading a book and the author put someone like Rick in it, you wouldn't chuck the book aside as patently ridiculous and unbelievable.
 
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AnOminous said:
Tell me if you were reading a book and the author put someone like Rick in it, you wouldn't chuck the book aside as patently ridiculous and unbelievable.
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Truthfully yes, I wouldn't be caught dead reading such a book. But on the other hand if someone were to publish Patrick's detailed biography I probably wouldn't be able to put it down. For some reason I find this one guy's existence extremely humorous.
 
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