Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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"tHe dIameTriC oPpoSiTe, stalker!"

What a perfectly normal way to respond to criticism that in no way makes you sound like a pseudo-intellectual muppet. It's like an advanced "acktshually!"
 
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Judge Holden said:
Days old and probably already posted but holy hell muh ribs
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I like to think after Josiah stopped responding on xitter, fatrick started furiously writing out threats to be sent to him via messenger pigeon
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Now I have to Wonder if he uses some sort of automate response to this messages or at least copy and paste them from elsewhere and he simply fucked up this time and sent it twice
 
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Last edited:
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FinnSven said:
Fatrick’s life almost could be a Lynch directed and co-penned TV series.

Franz Kafka and Bill Burroughs would be the co-authors, with the Coen brothers producing and consulting on the scripts.

Fatrick should have been played by Marlon Brando in his overweight period, but now I don’t think there is a living actor who could really capture the delusional arrogance of Fatrick quite right.
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I've said it before, but Fatrick really is Ignatius Riley without the charm. John Goodman was in the running to play him once, but an even better choice would be John Waters pick of using Divine.
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I mean, just look at them, the likeness is uncanny.
 
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Pierre D'Olnique said:
-GIF SNIP-
Behold, live feed of Fatrick's tweets. It might feel a little repetitive. :smug:
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If you were to print out 24h worth of childing and lay it down in front of Rick, I wonder how much time it would take his fat ass to cover the distance.

But if he were to do it I'd hope someone would be playing this song for him:
Boulevard of Childing Xeets
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[Verse 1]
Pat walks a lonely road
The fattest one that he has ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to him, and he squeals alone
He squeals on empty streets
On the Boulevard of Childing Xeets
When Milwaukee sleeps
And he’s the only one, and he xeets alone

[Pre-Chorus]
He xeets alone, he xeets alone
He xeets alone, he xeets a—

[Chorus]
Fat’s shadow's big enough to blot the Sun out
His fat heart's there but barely beatin'
Sometimes, I wish someone out there will child me
'Til then, he xeets alone

[Post-Chorus]
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

[Verse 2]
Pat’s fatter than a swine
While Nikki’s full of gas and drugged out her mind
On the borderline
Of divorce, and Fat will squeal alone
Read between the lines
What's fair critique and who’s a stalker child
Check his vital signs
To know he’s still alive, and he xeets alone

[Pre-Chorus]
He xeets alone, he xeets alone
He xeets alone, he xeets a—

[Chorus]
Fat’s shadow's big enough to blot the Sun out
His fat heart's there but barely beatin'
Sometimes, I wish someone out there will child me
'Til then, he xeets alone

[Post-Chorus]
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah
He xeets alone, he xeets a—

[Guitar Solo]

[Bridge]
He walks this empty street
On the Boulevard of Childing Xeets
When Milwaukee sleeps
And he’s the only one, and he xeets a—

[Chorus]
Fat’s shadow's big enough to blot the Sun out
His fat heart's there but barely beatin'
Sometimes, I wish someone out there will child me
'Til then, he xeets alone
[Instrumental Outro]
 
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RiceofSkywalker said:
you were to print out 24h worth of childing and lay it down in front of Rick, I wonder how much time it would take his fat ass to cover the distance.

But if he were to do it I'd hope someone would be playing this song for him:
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This hit me in my childhood man, didn't know I needed Boulevard of Broken Dreams: Fat edition.
 
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Useful_Mistake said:
Neo is all the starker childs
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I was gonna make a joke about fatrick slightly resembling the fugly ass looking 2edgy4you assassin girl from game of thrones, but then failed to find any pics of her mongoloid face that looked remotely patlike

Instead I randomly conjured up the term "beanstalker childs" and am now fabricating a retelling of jack and the beanstalk where a bunch of rascals climb a bean stalk and sneak into the foul giant Fat Cormoranlinson's castle in order to steal his golden xitter checkmark
 
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