r/ftm
•Posted by
u/SweetBoiDillan
29 | They/He | 6/16/22

| 7/12/23

5 hours ago
How Do You Handle Rude/Inappropriate Remarks From Family?
My relationship with my family is...contentious. Historically, I've shown up regardless of rudeness but lately, I've begun sitting some family events out, including my nephew's fifth birthday a couple days ago (which really broke my heart because he's literally my sun

) because of wilddddd comments at family events.
So, cool. I skip the event then visit my childhood home for the first time in several months which is uncharacteristic from me. I usually visit MUCH more frequently, like on a biweekly basis. But as I said, trying to separate myself from unneeded cruelty.
An old friend from my childhood comes over and, when he leaves, it prompts me to ask my mother if I can take some of the old photos of me off the wall because it's not representative of my current presentation.
She flips her SHITTTTT.
Says she NEEDS her memories. Says that I WAS beautiful regardless of what I've decided I am now and she wants to remember what a pretty child she had. And when I compromise and say "we don't have to take them down, it'll just be nice to add some current photos of me as a guy as well", she, my whole mother, says
"if you're a man where's your penis? Until you can show me your penis, you will not touch my photos. Do it at your own house."
Obviously this is some vile ass shit. I don't even think I've really wrapped my brain around how just...evil? It is. To open your mouth and say something like that to your transmasc son.
But, I am curious about how other people are handling cruelty from their "family". Or if your family is 100% supportive, how do you deal with rudeness/inappropriate comments as a whole?
Thanks in advance.