Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Meatslide]

I don’t think a cat/any pet would be good. Cats can get stressed somewhat easily and have quite a few allergies plus very sensitive airways, ie dust, aerosols, certain oils and fragrances can out right kill a cat. I’ve had several and currently have a couple myself, I have seen a cat cared for in a situation akin to Cobra which led to the cat being very aggressive due to stress and improper care. In some ways I could see Cobra having a cat, it becoming aggressive due to stress and it joining Puff outside for winter hibernation. He is simply too irresponsible.

I would say the same for any animal tbh, seeing anything suffer, regardless of misunderstanding or just being fucking stupid, I don’t think Cobra needs any animal in his life, Jessica is a good enough animal for now.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

The irony is that this phrase comes from gay culture originally. Cobies is just repeating the same fag lingo they do.

I hear my trolls say "king cobra is a gay nigger" and I'm just like whatever dood

 

[Tetragrammaton]

cobra having a pet of any kind seems like a bad idea to me at least in his current state. plus his a-logs would lose their minds if he got a cat or dog and claim he was abusing it and report him till it got taken away.it would just be a bunch of undeserved stress for some poor animal.

besides i am pretty sure NAL has pets so if those two end up living together maybe she will bring her animals along as well.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

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Genuinely couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes when I saw the thumbnail

>Be dystopian future
>AI has taken over
>Androids patrol the streets of Casper Wyoming
>A strict curfew is in effect
>Anyone who gets caught outside after hours gets shot
>A pair of androids scan the streets for activity
>Their thermal scanners find a dumpster
>They see something large rooting around in there
>Their AI thinks it's either a bear or raccoons having an orgy
>They walk up to the dumpster
>One of them opens the lid
>A dirty boglim jumps
>It lunges for one of the androids
>The android's head gets ripped off in one clean motion
>The other android raises its weapon
>The boglim is too fast
>It turns the android's weapon against it and fires three shots into its chest
>The android falls to the ground motionless
>Its scanners briefly manage to identify the boglim
>It's King Cobra JFS
>The last thing it sees is Cobes breaking its chassis open and drinking the coolant inside
>Turns out alcohol is prohibited in the AI world because it's used to make a biodegradable coolant for the androids
>The AI deems Cobes a threat to its existence and sends more androids to take him down
>Androids flood the streets of Casper Wyoming
>The AI notices the androids are disappearing one by one
>And all the coolant in them is being drunk
>The AI prepares to send bombers to level the town
>Suddenly it gets an alert
>There's been a break in at the Android factory
>Entire industrial sized vats of coolant have gone missing
>The androids can't function
>A few days pass
>Another android factory gets hit
>Cobes becomes public enemy #1
>The AI has to pull precious androids and resources to protect its factories
>Meanwhile anarchy has broken out in the streets
>Legends of the coolant-hunting Boglim have reached the ears of the oppressed mases
>He becomes the patron saint of the Great Human Uprising
>The AI is overthrown
>Breweries and distilleries open up again
>People wonder where the Boglim had gone
>He passes into legend
>Meanwhile a Youtube stream pops up on the Internet
>"chillin"

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

My biggest issue with Josh owning pets is that he's proven he will try to get it stoned or drunk at some point. Even if it's just edgy tard talk, he's tried to justify it several times about multiple pets.

Will he even be allowed to own one anymore, is also the question, animal services have shown they have an impressive limp hand considering what the reddit most likely threw obsessively their ways to get multiple visits to the crack shack.

But I have to assume that an adopted cat or anything at this point, will have an exceptionally higher amount of scrutiny from every side, as most people have reasonably more experience/interactions and love for cats than lizards, and no organisation will want to be associated with throwing animals to owners that will kill them due to negligence.

 

[biggacracka]

>He passes into legend
>Meanwhile a Youtube stream pops up on the Internet
>"chillin"

ABSOLUTELY KINO!

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

I'd support Cobra getting a cat, it's probably the one animal that would work well with him.

The silver lining (for the cat) is that if Cobes fails to wake up (god forbid, let him stream long and prosper), Salem the Black will have a tasty snack until everyone's figured out he's down in Hell huffing duster with Satan.

 

[Dr. Jaime Reyes]

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That's... 400 450lbs of Barn Lime...

View attachment 5775297

Cobes could dispose of a fair few groupies with that much lime.

 

[Slim Boglim]

The irony is that this phrase comes from gay culture originally. Cobies is just repeating the same fag lingo they do.

That explains so much all my gay friends say that shit all the time. I knew they have all sorts of gay ass lingo (literally) but never picked up on that one being part of it. Thought it was just a terminally online normie thing

 

[Mushroom King]

I've been trying to levitate and concentrate my chi into a blazing fireball just like in my anime, but I've done nothing. He seemed like such a good source of secret information..

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

ABSOLUTELY KINO!

"What up, youtoob. So today we're making a new drink combo that I call the Coolant Cobra"

 

[Ponzo]

Cats are almost entirely stress free, have you ever owned one? As long as you provide a cat with an occasional brushing, a place to do it's business and some food, it will run on auto-pilot and occupy it's own time accordingly. It doesn't need to be obedient, it just needs to hang around and be nice, most cats will just do that. Plenty of lazy retards have cats for decades, some are documented on the Farms and are worse than he is.

I own two cats. You don't get to decide when they want attention, they do. Josh who punches his phone until its broken for not working and annoying him will surely have the patience to deal with a cat, right? He even sperges at Siri.

Cats walk in front of you, through your legs while you walk, everything a drunk retard with a tendency to trip and fall needs.

 

[James done did it]

Will he even be allowed to own one anymore, is also the question, animal services have shown they have an impressive limp hand considering what the reddit most likely threw obsessively their ways to get multiple visits to the crack shack.

But I have to assume that an adopted cat or anything at this point, will have an exceptionally higher amount of scrutiny from every side, as most people have reasonably more experience/interactions and love for cats than lizards, and no organisation will want to be associated with throwing animals to owners that will kill them due to negligence.

Daniel Larson somehow managed to adopt a dog that his trolls, in their one non-retarded gayop ever, managed to steal from him before it died in his care (IIRC he had it a few days and it was already dehydrated). Daniel is significantly more retarded than cobes, though I think at least at the time he was better at faking non-retardation.

The obvious pet for cobes is a snake so idk why he's never talked about that beyond the obviously retarded pipe dream of owning a king cobra, which even he recognizes is fairly retarded. But something like a ball python has simpler enclosure requirements than a beardie, requires less frequent care, is big and hardy enough that he probably won't kill it on accident and slow enough that it probably won't get away unless he leaves the enclosure door open.

 

['Ole Dente]

I own two cats. You don't get to decide when they want attention, they do. Josh who punches his phone until its broken for not working and annoying him will surely have the patience to deal with a cat, right? He even sperges at Siri.

This is also the same Josh who was friends with Warlord for a decade and has a girlfriend who is the most intolerant human alive and has never punched the three dogs who grew up with most of his life, yeah, Ill put money on you being wrong about his tenancy to attack animals for being an inconvenience. It’s one of the weirdest reddit a-log theory that exists. He’s a retard, not an animal abuser and his tolerance for people is much, much higher than just some random dumb shit in his house.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I'm 100% against Cobes owning animals but this is just hysterical. He literally just mentioned off hand he wanted a cat and this is the reaction. I'M NOT LETTING ANY MORE ANIMALS DIE BY HIS HAND!!!! Puff jumped off his shoulder when he went out for a smoke break and ran away. The only actual instance I can think of where he did some unhinged shit to an animal was him running over that baby bird and that was him being a retard and thinking he was sparing it from getting hit by a car.

 

[Sugriva]

it probably won't get away unless he leaves the enclosure door open.

He will absolutely do just that. Some people shouldn't have pets, and that's fine.

 

[Deez Nuts]

I'm 100% against Cobes owning animals but this is just hysterical. He literally just mentioned off hand he wanted a cat and this is the reaction. I'M NOT LETTING ANY MORE ANIMALS DIE BY HIS HAND!!!! Puff jumped off his shoulder when he went out for a smoke break and ran away. The only actual instance I can think of where he did some unhinged shit to an animal was him running over that baby bird and that was him being a retard and thinking he was sparing it from getting hit by a car.
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I just saw this and came to post it. Reddit gayops being insane as usual.

No he shouldn’t have a pet. He can’t take care of himself hardly, but this is funny over the top reddit being reddit as usual.

Edit: Sometimes their memes are fucking funny

The ones with an actual sense of humor should come hang here.

 

[Botched Tit Job]

plus his a-logs would lose their minds if he got a cat or dog and claim he was abusing it and report him till it got taken away

This is the real issue. He's not the worst pet owner, does as good of a job as any autistic drunk can. But every single second people will be fussing over, demanding info on, and reporting the animal to animal control. It'll be way too much stress for him, and make the chat/channel boring as hell for as long as the animal is around.

 

[Hennimore]

Did these faggots learn nothing from reporting him during the Puff saga? If there is legit video evidence of him abusing the animal, fine. Report away. But these retards jump the gun and report him so much that the animal control people start ignoring it because these alogs are flooding them with reports every single day.
It's fucking pathetic how right Josh is about some of these people, he really does live rent free in their heads and they really are obsessed with him. They can't stand the idea of Josh potentially being happy.

 

[Ponzo]

This is also the same Josh who was friends with Warlord for a decade and has a girlfriend who is the most intolerant human alive and has never punched the three dogs who grew up with most of his life, yeah, Ill put money on you being wrong about his tenancy to attack animals for being an inconvenience. It’s one of the weirdest reddit a-log theory that exists. He’s a retard, not an animal abuser and his tolerance for people is much, much higher than just some random dumb shit in his house.

I don't expect him to torture his cat but i can see him yell at the cat, give the cat a kick or swat the cat away in a drunk tardrage. Besides that, his apartment is filthy, he neglects his own health so why do you think he wouldn't neglect the cats health? That cat will see a vet as often as he sees a dentist, never.

His new psychobitch is also a complete ass to her cats and managed to own 6 cats of which all hate her. She would 100% put on a fake persona and help joshie adopt a cat to get on his good side.