Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Sloppy Party Bottom]

He seems like the living embodiment of a migraine. What a lard ass

This is the perfect way of putting him. There are some lolcows that seem like they would be genuinely cool to hang out with in person, Cobra being the one that most people think of. Yeah, he's a fuck goof, but you know if you went to BW's with him you would have a good time. Patrick would be too busy child'ing the waitresses and holding his burger out to you asking "Does this look like spit? I think it looks like spit. Fuckin child spit on my burger!"

Pat doesn't seem to understand that believing really hard that a crime occurred is not the same thing as securing a conviction.

This 100. Just because you wish really hard that someone committed a crime doesn't mean they did.

Gerald Ford did not give Nixon a pardon for Watergate. He pardoned him for any crimes he may have committed during his Presidency:

Could this not have been to get people to fuck off and leave him alone, rather than protect him from prison?

 

[Boiled Pizza]

there is nothing stopping her from leaving

Wrong again, child. His massive gravitational pull keeps her from escaping his orbit. Enjoy tidal locking.

 

[bile demon]

Fat's greatest lie yet.

 

[SenutiSolidus]

Whats worse is you can hear him saying CHIIIIIILD thanks to that accursed fucking freakout call.

View attachment 5784781

I swear to fucking jesus that one call is what turnt this thread into the juggernaut it is today. Finding out that fat actually speaks the way he xeets was a moment of horrified realisation of just how vast a retard we were dealing with

Metokur mentioned that as a joke he's been using fatrick voice patterns with Jade and now i'm doubled up laughing imagining them giggling to each other with this "child" shit

 

[WelperHelper99]

View attachment 5784747
Saw this today and started laughing hard because of the synchronicity to the Pat verse

Wonder if Pat will go to France next to tempt fate?

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

Merch run idea, deck of cards like the ones from Desert Storm but with our favorite cows?
Chantal could be Null's Queen of Hearts.

Diamonds (all known to be bad with money)
Jack: Bossman
KUWEEN: Keffals
King: Ralph

Hearts ()
Jack: the Kiwi
Queen: Chantal
King: Slobbermutt Jersh

Spades (they're all dumb, or "tools" I know this isn't what spades are supposed to represent but hush child)
Jack: Fatrick (he doesn't get to be king of anything)
Queen: Brianna Wu
King: Nick Fuentes (open to suggestions)

Clubs (actively known to hate Josh more than anything else at this point )
Jack: Greer
Queen: Donger Jones
King: Rekieta

Jokers: Chris Chan and Sonichu

Fuck you for making me think hard about this, but I love it.

 

[Judge Holden]

Spades (they're all dumb, or "tools" I know this isn't what spades are supposed to represent but hush child)

Spade is an old timey slang term for members of the upstanding african american community so you may wanna factor that in

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

Diamonds (all known to be bad with money)
Jack: Bossman
KUWEEN: Keffals
King: Ralph

Hearts ()
Jack: the Kiwi
Queen: Chantal
King: Slobbermutt Jersh

Spades (they're all dumb, or "tools" I know this isn't what spades are supposed to represent but hush child)
Jack: Fatrick (he doesn't get to be king of anything)
Queen: Brianna Wu
King: Nick Fuentes (open to suggestions)

Clubs (actively known to hate Josh more than anything else at this point )
Jack: Greer
Queen: Donger Jones
King: Rekieta

Jokers: Chris Chan and Sonichu

Fuck you for making me think hard about this, but I love it.

Might I suggest Joe Winko or Daniel Larson as the "Jacks of all trades"?
Also, just wanted to say.
Blimpy reminds me of a mix of I.M. Weasle and The Big Red Guy.
Maybe it's the fluffy hair if Weasle and the flamboyant moodswing of B.R.G.

 

[DumbDude43]

Diamonds (all known to be bad with money)
Jack: Bossman
KUWEEN: Keffals
King: Ralph

Hearts ()
Jack: the Kiwi
Queen: Chantal
King: Slobbermutt Jersh

Spades (they're all dumb, or "tools" I know this isn't what spades are supposed to represent but hush child)
Jack: Fatrick (he doesn't get to be king of anything)
Queen: Brianna Wu
King: Nick Fuentes (open to suggestions)

Clubs (actively known to hate Josh more than anything else at this point )
Jack: Greer
Queen: Donger Jones
King: Rekieta

Jokers: Chris Chan and Sonichu

Fuck you for making me think hard about this, but I love it.

>rekeita isn't queen of spades
missed opportunity

 

[Kirtto]

...uhhh......
View attachment 5783203

Also fat is literally xeeting every 10 seconds and in the last 10 minutes has xeeted up to 100 times

Is he denying and lying about his own lawsuit now? Because it outright says he was restrained, naked

 

[Meat Target]

Whats worse is you can hear him saying CHIIIIIILD thanks to that accursed fucking freakout call.

View attachment 5784781

I swear to fucking jesus that one call is what turnt this thread into the juggernaut it is today. Finding out that fat actually speaks the way he xeets was a moment of horrified realisation of just how vast a retard we were dealing with

And Josiah Munoz is a god amongst men for flawlessly pulling off such an elaborate bit.

 

[Pedophobe]

King: Nick Fuentes (open to suggestions)

DSP perhaps?

 

[Popper Whiting]

Spades (they're all dumb, or "tools" I know this isn't what spades are supposed to represent but hush child)
Jack: Fatrick (he doesn't get to be king of anything)
Queen: Brianna Wu
King: Nick Fuentes (open to suggestions)

Brianna Wu should be sometheing else because Nick Fuentes should definitely be the Queen of whatever suite you place him in. Make Brianna the 6 of Spades as tribute to that shitty game Revolution 60. 6+0=6 so that would fit Wu. I suggest this because I must stress that Nick Fuentes be the Queen, child.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Pat doesn't seem to understand that believing really hard that a crime occurred is not the same thing as securing a conviction.

As always, Pat is grossly misinformed. Texas was allowed to keep placing wire, SCOTUS merely allowed the Government to also keep cutting it.

 

[Judge Holden]

Is he denying and lying about his own lawsuit now? Because it outright says he was restrained, naked

Restrained, naked, weeping, begging for mercy as Sergeant Evans unzipped and hauled out his ebon black hawg breaker....

...sorry. Kinda got myself all hot and bothered there.

But yes fatty is repeatedly and nigh incessantly contradicting major points of his lawsuit on xitter which I would imagine would make for some awkward court moments should the state choose to fight the case

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Is he denying and lying about his own lawsuit now? Because it outright says he was restrained, naked
View attachment 5785114

It astonishes me that he admit this, unprompted, in a publicly available document. At least make the court earn that knowledge.

If ever I wrote a book starring someone like Patrick, I'd have to sell it as an absurdist novel. Nobody would accept it any other way.

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

Brianna Wu should be sometheing else because Nick Fuentes should definitely be the Queen of whatever suite you place him in. Make Brianna the 6 of Spades as tribute to that shitty game Revolution 60. 6+0=6 so that would fit Wu. I suggest this because I must stress that Nick Fuentes be the Queen, child.

As suggested before spade is also slang for nigger but I drew a blank on black cows besides LTG so that's another option for spades.

 

[Popper Whiting]

As suggested before spade is also slang for nigger but I drew a blank on black cows besides LTG so that's another option for spades.

Given Nick's thirst for Kanye's BBC would Queen of Spades be fitting?

I know with the black child pepperoni Patrick loves to wrap his mouth around a different type of black person sausage.

 

[306h4Ge5eJUJ]

Diamonds (all known to be bad with money)
Jack: Bossman
KUWEEN: Keffals
King: Ralph

Hearts ()
Jack: the Kiwi
Queen: Chantal
King: Slobbermutt Jersh

Spades (they're all dumb, or "tools" I know this isn't what spades are supposed to represent but hush child)
Jack: Fatrick (he doesn't get to be king of anything)
Queen: Brianna Wu
King: Nick Fuentes (open to suggestions)

Clubs (actively known to hate Josh more than anything else at this point )
Jack: Greer
Queen: Donger Jones
King: Rekieta

Jokers: Chris Chan and Sonichu

Fuck you for making me think hard about this, but I love it.

King of Clubs should be Vordrak.

 

[Judge Holden]

Alright piggers I have solved the mystery as to why nikkki is still with fatrick

He is clearly a world champion at giving the most obscene and shameless rimjobs known to man

Given his porcine heritage this should not be surprising, as gleefully eating the literal shit of their masters was one of the main tasks of pigs of medieval china