Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Recently I had the pleasure of taking a trip out of state and flying with Southwest Airlines. With limited flying experience and being a fairly round size 28, I was nervous about how the trip would pan out. My anxious mind came up with scenarios in which I couldn’t fit in the seat so the flight attendant kicked me off the plane and I missed my trip.
So she was concerned that she might get kicked off the flight..... because she is too large to fit in the seat. I may not have a fancy degree in social work, but surely losing weight or just buying a second seat could fix this problem, right?
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
I then panicked at the idea of scooting by all of the disgusted thin passengers who would block me from being able to sit next to them.
Because an unwashed (or poorly washed) seatmate who will spill over onto their seat makes the already-unpleasant experience of flying even worse. That's not even getting into how someone that big would have been part of a carnival freakshow a hundred years ago - it is a sign that something clearly is wrong upstairs, and there might also be a primal evolutionary instinct that makes us recoil at someone who clearly isn't fit for mating (which is probably what drives a lot of our ideas of beauty).
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
It is so unfair how much thinking and preparing we as fatties have to do when trying to accomplish tasks that thin people commonly experience with ease. Luckily, I had some seasoned fliers express their tips for having my needs met and advocating for myself on the trip. Following their advice, I had a surprisingly successful and pleasant experience. Here are 6 tips for flying while fat:
How is it unfair? Getting that big and staying there requires conscious effort - she could cut back on the snacking, i.e. do less than nothing and make the problem more manageable in weeks.
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Call the airline as soon as you can, well before your departure date, and ask about their “passenger of size policy.” Or, do a little research online if you hate talking on the phone like I do. They will either have a policy with this exact title or know what kind of policy you’re asking about and have an answer for you. The worst case scenario might be that you have to purchase a second seat – with or without reimbursement depending on the airline. This is absolutely awful and a form of oppression against those unable to afford the cost of another seat – yes. And still, it is an option available to some. In the best case scenario, they may be required to give you a second boarding pass that says “seat reserved,” at no cost to you. You have to ask for it. When you check in with the ticketing agent on your departure date, ask for it then and they’ll print it for you along with your boarding pass. Then you’ll simply place this paper on the seat next to you and no one will be able to sit there. Unfortunately, this does mean that someone may be booted from the flight and moved to a later departure time if it was already 100% full. This feels icky – but doesn’t change the fact that you have accommodations that need to be met.
What. A. Cunt. For all the talk of 'we aren't hurting anyone by being fat', the second Juliana needs special accommodations she is willing to fuck other people over to get them. This goes double when airlines try to get as close to 100% booking on as many of their flights as possible.
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Your boarding pass will probably not say this, but with your additional “reserved” seat, you have authorization to board the flight during the “pre-board” section. This is the group of folks who have higher need for getting first choice at seating options and/or who need greater access when boarding the flight. This might feel uncomfortable at first, to be in line with folks that you might believe deserve the pre-board option more than you. Acknowledge those feelings and then let them pass you by. You’ll be so thankful when you can comfortably find your seat and store your bags without the pressure of finding a seat (or two!) amongst a nearly full flight.
Wait.....doesn't the Fat Acceptance crowd insist that fat isn't a disability, and fat people can be every bit as fit as straight-size people? Once again, all those mantras go out the window when Juliana wants to make her life a bit easier.
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Don’t expect too much extra free time with pre-boarding. If you’re like me and walk slowly, there won’t be a whole lot of extra time for a casual walk down the aisle before you start hearing other passengers approaching. They tend to move right to boarding passengers with children/families, first class, and other boarding groups.
Nothing to see here folks, Juliana weighing as much as 2-3 grown men has nothing to do with her weight, please don't ask awkward questions!
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Find your seat, toss your bag overhead if you’ve got one, and place your “seat reserved” boarding pass on the extra seat facing out so that folks passing by can see it.
Lol at the idea of her being mobile enough to 'toss her bag overhead' and I'd be livid if I saw a deathfat with a reserved seat just for her gunt. Again, airline travel is unpleasant and people like Juliana make it worse.
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Wear comfortable clothing. If you have shoes that are comfortable and easy to take off and put back on, wear them. Wear layers that are easier to take off for the full body scanner.
This isn't bad advice but it's the kind of stuff I'd expect to hear for people who are old, disabled, or both.
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
For super fats like me, that full body scanner looks fairly intimidating. It might feel like only slender folks can fit through it. Act like you own the place and shove yourself through as if this is something you do all the time.
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA SHE WAS TOO FAT FOR THE FULL BODY SCANNER
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
I built it up in my head as something that was going to be very embarrassing, and it ended up not being a big deal. Remind yourself that everyone there wants us to get through as quickly and smoothly as we do. Take a deep breath, focus in on your own belongings, and move on through.
No, other people want to get
themselves through as quickly as possible. A deathfat holding up the line is going to make everyone else very angry very quickly.
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
Get there early. And I mean MEGA early. Here’s the deal: sometimes gate changes happen. It can be really frustrating for some, but for disabled folks and people of size who may walk more slowly or can’t run if needed, it could also jeopardize being on time for boarding.
Once again, this is only appropriate if fat is a disability (which Juliana denies). In fairness she was flying out of Massachusetts and the Boston airport does not have those carts larger airports use to get fat passengers to their gates quickly (or if it does, they are so inconspicuous I never noticed them).
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
You want to be there early enough to take advantage of your authorization to participate in the “pre-board” option. Make sure you have enough time to be seated and waiting in front of your correct gate a half an hour (or greater) before your expected departure time. Check in with staff once you get there to make sure the gate is correct. Don’t worry about being bothersome. Say something like “this is my first time flying…am I in the right place?”
Gotta be proactive if you want to inconvenience everybody!
Fat Selfish Lesbian Juliana Aprileo said:
They will be happy to help.
They will not be happy to help, they will wonder if the person asking this question is an exceptional individual.
