As a father, I have given a lot of thought to the eternal question of how much my children need to know about the dark sides of their favorite entertainers.
My oldest son Declan, for example, knows that Roald Dahl was not a fan of the Jews but that has not kept him from being a fan of Roald Dahl.
He similarly knows that J.K. Rowling has devoted her fame and fortune to making the lives of trans people like his favorite babysitter more difficult, but he did not swear off Harry Potter as a result.
My wife and I handle it on a case-by-case basis. It’s dispiriting thinking about just how many great artists were also famously terrible people, particularly in a post-MeToo era where the shameful secrets of the rich and famous spilled out into public view, changing the way we see them, and fame, forever.
Oh, but it’s going to be difficult explaining to him that Harvey Weinstein, his favorite executive, and Kevin Spacey, his favorite actor, are famously disgraced sexual predators! He’s also been into Vincent Gallo since he was a small boy, so it’s going to be tough telling him that not only is Gallo a bad person; he has a weird grudge against his father as well.
The Vincent Gallo talk is generally considered one of the hardest conversations every parent has with their child.
Every day it seems like another massive cultural figure has been exposed as a Caligula-like degenerate whose immoral and illegal private sins have been covered up for decades.
Most recently Diddy was outed as a figure of almost Satanic evil. This is a blog post for another time, but why isn’t that man in jail? I know he’s rich and was powerful but so were R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein and both of those creeps reside somewhere deep in the bowels of our prison system.
Do you tell your child the controversial, endlessly rehashed and litigated dark side of the funny actor who played Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean or do you avoid the franchise altogether?
For reasons I still do not totally understand, as I am generally the one with questionable judgment who makes mistakes, my wife told Declan that Scott Cawthon, the creator of his beloved Five Nights at Freddy’s, is a Trump supporter.
Here’s the thing. I think it’s silly, extreme, and wrong to treat someone like they’re part of some weird, creepy cult with a greedy, cynical, questionably sane grifter for a leader just because they’re Conservatives in the age of Trump.
That said, if someone is a solid supporter of Donald Trump then they really are part of some weird, creepy cult with a greedy, cynical, questionably sane grifter for a leader. They’re called the Republicans, and they’re too far gone to reason with. They’ve really lost the plot.
We’ve told Declan that Donald Trump is not a good person or anybody he should emulate in any way. That’s less “woke” indoctrination than a statement of fact.
So when he learned that the creator of the franchise that obsesses him was a supporter of a man he hates he had a crisis of faith.
He became convinced that Cawthorn was such a bad person that he could not like Five Nights at Freddy’s anymore. Upon learning that Cawthorn was MAGA and proud my son’s love instantly but only temporarily turned into hate.
Declan has intense reactions to information and life. We both have ADHD but his burns much brighter than mine, so that he is forever operating running hot and wild.
My wife and I sat our son down and explained to him that it was possible and even desirable and necessary to remove art from the artist and the entertainment that he loves from the sometimes questionable or amoral people who create it.
That’s even more important now that we know so, so much about the horrible side of people that we elevated to the level of Gods.
We try to instill in him that he didn’t have to stop loving or caring about Five Nights at Freddy’s just because its creator is Christian, pro-life, Republican, and a Trump supporter who has donated money to Conservative candidates and causes.
I didn’t want to let someone’s delusional view of Donald Trump rob my son of the joy that he has received through Five Nights at Freddy’s super-fandom. It’s not a passion that I share but my son is important to me so that means that, for better or worse, Five Nights at Freddy’s is constantly on my mind as well.
Without it, I would not have gotten the idea to write a novella entitled Five Nights at Freddy Got Fingered that will make me rich and famous beyond my wildest dreams.
That was all Declan needed to become a fan again. Consciously or otherwise, he was asking permission to like the work of someone who supported bad people. We gave it.
Declan’s crisis of faith lasted maybe a half hour.
Then he was happily discoursing on the infinite combinations of Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy, a foursome I know as well as my own family at this point.
While I am not a Five Nights at Freddy’s guy in the slightest I am a fan of being a fan and caring passionately about the art and entertainment that thrills you and speaks to you on a profound level.
Right now, for Declan, that’s Five Nights at Freddy’s. Hopefully at the some point in the future he’ll move on to something else but in my most despairing moments I worry that this might be a lifelong obsession.
THAT would not be great. I’m all for him loving what he loves, but you have to draw a line somewhere.
