Been a while since I’ve made a post outside the cat thread. I need to say my piece about all of this.
I don’t have answers to the big questions in here. I don’t know who id really is, who Hikkiari really is, or if the family members id claimed existed really did or not. I don’t even know if he’s really dead.
This isn’t the first time in my life someone I considered something of a mentor, who’d been nothing but good to me, turned out to be a piece of poo poo. At least in that previous case all there was to do was cut ties and sit with my thoughts on it.
I was on the periphery during the death of TDI’s daughter, but came in to his Discord to do what I could at that time because even then, TDI had been nothing but generous to me. I really got into his community in early COVID, but I’d been helping with his streams to some extent for a few years. I’m one of the main people in his server at this point.
I’ve always had my suspicions he was at least exaggerating the stories he’d tell, even before I saw any of these accusations. I really tuned out of the stories he’d tell on his Discord around when the Ukraine war started.
Very slowly over the last few years, more and more signs started to show that this was all going to end very badly. Part of why these suspicions took so long to come to a head was that the first accusations and screenshots of conversations I saw was on Kiwifarms. Should put in an aside here that I was looking there to make sure people close to me weren’t on their radar. [Editor's note: Lol. Lmao.]
It was when another person who was in the same LP circles in the 2010s as TDI expressed concern to me about associating with TDI because of a lot of weird behavior and lying that’d happened before and a little bit after the death of his daughter (this has been covered in more detail on Twitter and SA). I did gently shut this conversation down at the time, and I regret doing that. Still had an impact on me though, because this was the first time I really started to worry about if anything TDI said was ever true.
But I was never even sure how to bring this up, especially being friends with him and people around him. Not to mention the sheer extent and pervasiveness of the lying and manipulation is so much further beyond what I could have imagined.
From talking to other people about this, and I’ll just use a direct quote here, “thought Id's ramblings were bullshit and ignored them.”
As hosed as this all is my goal is to keep the Discord community intact if that’s even possible. There’s plenty of good people in there.
I should also say that under no circumstances should you bother the people who were in his friends circle. (Except for Speedball, who got rightfully booted for sexual harassment.) This is a horrible thing to grapple with when you’re on the other side of it.
In the words of a wife beating piece of shit, who did one good thing in his life by blowing his brains out,
“The internet makes you stupid.”
Not answering followup questions in here, and I’d rather not people post this on Twitter or Bluesky but given the nature of these forums it’ll end up there eventually.