Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[John Andrews Stan]

Shane literally had kept more shit from a low end job than the average person keeps from doing time in the military.

Real talk: My children’s baby boxes contain more impressive and valuable objects than Shane’s expired discount and insurance cards.

If he was such a key team member, why doesn’t he have any stock or monetary rewards to prove it? For example, MSFT and other successful companies offer significant signing bonuses to valuable new hires, usually around 10-70% (depending on seniority and indispensability) of the total annual salary. They also give substantial annual bonuses and stock allocations to vital talent.

So why didn't Shane Nokes get those or any golden handcuffs?

A. Shane never worked for MSFT; he was only a contractor employed by an external agency.
B. Shane was just another low-level cog with no special skills or knowledge and thus could always be easily replaced at a moment’s notice — the definition of a disposable member of staff.
C. Shane is a retarded rube and didn’t know any of these financial incentives were ever on the table for employees.
D. Nobody who worked with Shane liked him and always minimized contact so as to avoid his creepy virgin pedo style of comportment.
E. All of the above.

The answer is pretty obvious.

Speaking of obvious, we know from his screed against the homeless dental charity volunteers that Shane’s teeth have mostly rotted out of his head. This, in addition to his abject and perpetual misery, is why he doesn’t smile in photos. His baseline is pretty grim:



So I got curious whether a decent set of dentures would help Shane to look like less of a faggot child molester. Let’s see!



Okay so that wouldn’t help. What about switching up his facial hair approach to look less like a poverty-stricken shit stabber?



Oh man, scratch that. How’s about tidying up his hair?



Yikes. Back to the drawing board! Maybe transitioning would help?



Well, we tried.

 

[Windy Moors]

I'm always logged in so I'm not sure if the blue is details. Hey @KF Cruiser, comment ? The second screenshot shows the option to like/quote/reply.

Shane is using the theme: Dark, Biden Blue. From the style chooser option at the bottom of the page. It's one of seven themes and funny that he chose that particular one.

 

[Plum Smuggler]

Nobody who worked with Shane liked him and always minimized contact so as to avoid his creepy virgin pedo style of comportment.

The only "coworkers" or "mentors" Shane ever seemed to mention on Twitter were dead.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

The only "coworkers" or "mentors" Shane ever seemed to mention on Twitter were dead.

That's convenient. Did they kill themselves after meeting Shane?

 

[BulletSpongeRTR]

That's convenient. Did they kill themselves after meeting Shane?

Was Shane intended to be just another stain on a dress in early 90's Arkansas? His bio should read, "I was raped with a butterknife and should have been swallowed."

 

[RollerGator]

Rat toothed impoverished obese unemployed loser getting dogwalked by big dick Leslie yet again. There is nothing impotent losers like Shane and Pat hate more than getting told off by a woman. You can see the seethe radiating from their posts.

 

[AnOminous]

Rat toothed impoverished obese unemployed loser getting dogwalked by big dick Leslie yet again. There is nothing impotent losers like Shane and Pat hate more than getting told off by a woman. You can see the seethe radiating from their posts.

How dare some inferior whammen refuse help from these, the whitest of all white knights? They need to get those dumb thoughts of independence out of their pretty little heads and accept their saviors (you know a man who had to pay thousands to get unbanned from Twitter after threatening to rape and murder a woman and a guy named "Daddy Cum Cannon").

 

[Dean Pentel]

Then he tries to wash Patrick's balls and doesn't even get a pity like from the legendary sausage maker of Milwaukee. Nice audience, stupid.

That Patrick would ever call anyone else thick is high-level irony. That Leslie can so effortlessly cause them both to seethe so hard steam might actually escape their orifices is delightful.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Shane should start posting his Xbox credentials into all his random arguments. "Oh, you're saying you don't like Biden? Well, here's my Microsoft badge and a picture of me in the back of a call center wearing a hat."

 

[RollerGator]

That Patrick would ever call anyone else thick is high-level irony. That Leslie can so effortlessly cause them both to seethe so hard steam might actually escape their orifices is delightful.

I remember Leslie once called him a bloated windbag. Got a good laff out of me. She's real good with the bantz.

 

[Maude Snew]

She's still more successful than you will ever be.

Talk about low bar, any given ten year old with a paper route is or whatever it is kids do these days now that print is mostly dead.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Talk about low bar, any given ten year old with a paper route is or whatever it is kids do these days now that print is mostly dead.

Cities still have flyer runs. You can still make $150-250 a month depending on the routes. Pretty damn good for a kid, and more money than Shane earns in a year.

I remember Leslie once called him a bloated windbag. Got a good laff out of me. She's real good with the bantz.

They're old bantz but they check out.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Looks like Shane is going for a total rebrand.

This pic may be older than his credentials pic.

A 40 something retarded man child.

He looks like a cancer patient.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

He looks like a group home resident.

 

[pylosurf]

If he was such a key team member, why doesn’t he have any stock or monetary rewards to prove it?

He would also have one of these, with his name on it:

It would be irrefutable proof, so of course he doesn't have one. Instead, he has one of these:

Spoiler

 

[Maude Snew]

He looks like a group home resident.

He looks like a tacky British child molester. His name should be Shane Nonce.

 

[An automatic clown]

New Shane lore, in a thread replying to Alejandro Caraballo - troon "lawyer" lolcow who got roasted during a Congressional hearing



Pics in post:


He actually printed out the pic of him and the gay chink from Star Trek



And the classic pic of him and Guntiana

 

[HahaYes]

He actually printed out the pic of him and the gay chink from Star Trek

Ten bucks says he had it printed at a stationary store on photo paper so he could hang it above his bed

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

New Shane lore, in a thread replying to Alejandro Caraballo - troon "lawyer" lolcow who got roasted during a Congressional hearing
View attachment 5812654
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Pics in post:
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He actually printed out the pic of him and the gay chink from Star Trek

View attachment 5812659

And the classic pic of him and Guntiana

I fuckin love that he posts his doofy selfies like they’re supposed to be some kinda own. Every rando he encounters gets his number immediately, calling out his general unhappiness, inferiority complex, and the naive way in which he perceives the world.

He beats the dogshit outta those credentials but can’t post any travel pics and thinks the measure of success is “playing with tech” lol. Too bad his partner nor his large gamete donor never told him that jokes aren’t funny if you have to autistically explain them.

 

[internet friend]

New Shane lore, in a thread replying to Alejandro Caraballo - troon "lawyer" lolcow who got roasted during a Congressional hearing
View attachment 5812654
View attachment 5812655

Pics in post:
View attachment 5812657
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He actually printed out the pic of him and the gay chink from Star Trek

View attachment 5812659

And the classic pic of him and Guntiana

Why does his head look so weird? It's like it doesn't fit that body