Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

@Pig Cups

Pfffft…fucking amateur.

I would say at this point that YouTube has been the worst endeavor of his life.

For his finances, privacy, and reputation? Yeah- outside of his gluttony, YouTube is the worst thing he’s done to himself.

But for us? Him doing YouTube is the best possible thing he’s done in his life. Through his own self-destruction, Jack has done us all a tremendous and invaluable service by providing us with a rare and unique form of entertainment. The gift of laughter is a wonderful thing, and Jack has really bestowed us.

This is probably overly optimistic but it will be a boon to his family once he goes. Not having this fat retard laying around forcing you to eat garbage, draining your finances, and taxing you mentally should do them some good.

One of the burning questions I contemplate is whether Tammy, assuming the next impact doesn’t immediately kill Jack, but puts Jack in a coma like his last stroke/heart attack, will ever agree to pull the plug.

If the doctor tells her that he can be brought back, but his abilities will be so diminished to where his current state would look spry in comparison…would that be the last straw? Especially in light of the monumental costs that’d be associated with his care, and the fact that his level of disability would be such that she’d have to be his full-time caregiver? If given the choice between a.) letting him go or b.) having him slog forward in an even more burdensomely disabled state…well…that would pretty good opportunity to escape.

I still don’t think she’d be able to bail. She’d probably come up with some justification rooted in christfaggotry for why Jack *has* to be brought back, despite the inhumanity of making him continue forward in that condition (a condition you’d call existing, not living).

Actually, that’d be a fitting hell for Jack- his invalidity growing to a point where he’d WANT to be let go, but his religious zealot wife insists on him being brought back time after time just so he can exist as an ever-deteriorating convalescent. Fucking yikes.

 

[Gulls on Film]

somehow always without fail forget to turn the volume down when I put these on and the intro music always seems 1db louder than last time
View attachment 5854109

STEAK WARS?

My favorite part of the "Jack discovers AI" saga is that he's too blind and dumb to notice the little deformities/oddities of bad AI pictures and just uses the first take. Cowboy with three feet? Fuck it, let's sell it for 50 dollars.

 

[AltisticRight]

Another obviously fake lion.


Who the fuck would wear this?


Such cannot be said about Jack's arm.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Who the fuck would wear this?

It's like he's wearing a Sunday School feltboard!

 

[Charlie Delicious]

I think Jim didn't get the whole

Who the fuck would wear this?

Noooobodyyuuyuuu:

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Not that Jack has ever had the foresight to have life insurance, but there’s no way he could ever qualify for coverage now. A company writing a policy for him in his state would be like a bank paying a robber for the opportunity to then give him the rest of your cash. He probably hasn’t been eligible for coverage since the stroke that took out his arm, and even before that the premiums for insurance on a living blowing ball would be sky-high.

Tammy wouldn’t pull the cord, these people refuse to live in reality and are drunk enough on the evangelical Koolaid to never stop hoping for a miraculous recovery. They’re the same types who fought in court for Terri Schiavo to remain on life support, despite being a literal vegetable for decades.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Another obviously fake lion.
View attachment 5856452

Who the fuck would wear this?
View attachment 5856458

Such cannot be said about Jack's arm.
View attachment 5856461

 

[Dead Air]

I

Not that Jack has ever had the foresight to have life insurance, but there’s no way he could ever qualify for coverage now. A company writing a policy for him in his state would be like a bank paying a robber for the opportunity to then give him the rest of your cash. He probably hasn’t been eligible for coverage since the stroke that took out his arm, and even before that the premiums for insurance on a living blowing ball would be sky-high.

Tammy wouldn’t pull the cord, these people refuse to live in reality and are drunk enough on the evangelical Koolaid to never stop hoping for a miraculous recovery. They’re the same types who fought in court for Terri Schiavo to remain on life support, despite being a literal vegetable for decades.

Don't know, I think when the opportunity really presents itself with a completely incapacitated Jack unable to protest and the decision is entirely in Tam Hams hands to pull the plug it'll happen. She will finally be able to live her life as Jenettes scissor sister, and judging by her and her moms history in insurance and finance I guarantee they've had a policy on Jack for a long time.

 

[AltisticRight]

I will never feel bad for a lolcow suffering the explicitly predictable consequences of their actions. If Jack got this way because he was tboned by some drunk driver and fucked him up, I'd feel bad. But all Jack has is a life wasted in the kitchen making slop, that never discovered the concept of portion sizing. Every single thing he has suffered has both not been a surprise, but the active and most commonly known consequence for what he's done.

That's what makes Jack one of my perfect lolcows to follow. There's nothing to feel guilty about watching this, he made this bed and is still defending it even as it kills him.

I honestly don't get it, he's been cooking on YouTube for what, more than a decade? His account was created in 2006!
How is his cooking still so fucking bad? It's unreal.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

Can we get a Tammy tax evasion/fraud arc, There is no fucking way these buffoons can afford new house(s), multiple smokers, multiple vacations, multiple hospital stays and other assorted shit at the rate that they spend legally without heavy debt, which would have driven high housing interest rates even higher than they are now. And Tam Ham doing all this on ONE income. Something isn't right. Does she come from a wealthy family or something?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I expected him to die a couple years ago and he is still going. The human body can be pretty resilient. I've known people that abuse their body like Jack that make it into their seventies.

The fact that he is showing signs though that his body is breaking down tells me he'll be lucky to make it into his sixties. All that matters is just how much his body can handle before it can't run anymore.

Yeah with this many strokes, his diabetes, blood pressure and lord knows what else it's a testament to how resilient the human body is. We can take some incredible damage and still live. Meanwhile a horse breaks it's leg and you have no choice but to shoot it. Sure depending on the break you can get it to heal by basically suspending it in the air, giving it pain killers and letting it heal naturally but the time, money and effort to do so is just not worth it in the end especially if this was a race horse. At best you put him out to stud later. But if the leg is shattered and surgery is impossible you have no choice.

Meanwhile with a human they'd break out the erector sets, use plates and screws to hold the bones together as they heal and hope it heals properly.

I honestly don't get it, he's been cooking on YouTube for what, more than a decade? His account was created in 2006!
How is his cooking still so fucking bad? It's unreal.

The Wendigo puppeting his corpse doesn't care. It just wants all the food it can get and doesn't care how bad it is.

Can we get a Tammy tax evasion/fraud arc, There is no fucking way these buffoons can afford new house(s), multiple smokers, multiple vacations, multiple hospital stays and other assorted shit at the rate that they spend legally without heavy debt, which would have driven high housing interest rates even higher than they are now. And Tam Ham doing all this on ONE income. Something isn't right. Does she come from a wealthy family or something?

Don't. Trying to get her audited or something would ruin the fun.

EDIT: I'm not pozholing anything.

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

Can we get a Tammy tax evasion/fraud arc, There is no fucking way these buffoons can afford new house(s), multiple smokers, multiple vacations, multiple hospital stays and other assorted shit at the rate that they spend legally without heavy debt, which would have driven high housing interest rates even higher than they are now. And Tam Ham doing all this on ONE income. Something isn't right. Does she come from a wealthy family or something?

If Jack's JACK PACK advice on how to save money as a content creator is even remotely true (deduct your cable TV bill, deduct your entire phone bill, deduct your spouse' phone bill, etc.) then they are committing some level of tax evasion.

But the easiest (unconfirmed) answer for where the money comes from is her parents. Carolyn and Donn live in a +$1M house on 13 acres bought with money from Donn's lifelong HVAC/tradesman career and Carolyn's grift as an insurance seller. Tammy is their only child, and I doubt they'd see her go without. And if Tammy wanted to take out a few life insurance policies on Jack the Uninsurable, I'm sure that mother dearest wouldn't ask questions.

 

[a terminal posture]

Can we get a Tammy tax evasion/fraud arc, There is no fucking way these buffoons can afford new house(s), multiple smokers, multiple vacations, multiple hospital stays and other assorted shit at the rate that they spend legally without heavy debt, which would have driven high housing interest rates even higher than they are now. And Tam Ham doing all this on ONE income. Something isn't right. Does she come from a wealthy family or something?

You realize with tax evasion you can only get up to what you would have paid in taxes in the first place? Which is proportional to your income and I don't think Tammy's is that much. Or that tax fraud via fake-business deductions still means you have to spend more money on something than you get back from the government?

 

[Comma]

somehow always without fail forget to turn the volume down when I put these on and the intro music always seems 1db louder than last time
View attachment 5854109

Jack could start a skiing resort with the amount of dandruff he's producing.

It's even on his glasses:

 

[Super Hans v2]

And Tam Ham doing all this on ONE income. Something isn't right. Does she come from a wealthy family or something?

TamHam at least used to be a comptroller in CA and after moving to TN, which is a min six figure job. She's prob not making that kind of money now, but still higher than average. If she's classed as a contractor at her current job, she might be able to mix that with Jack's money furnace schemes with TJ Services.

So I guess what I'm saying is that it's a combination of Tammy's high-ish income, fraud, and refusal to acknowledge bad things happening.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I honestly don't get it, he's been cooking on YouTube for what, more than a decade? His account was created in 2006!
How is his cooking still so fucking bad? It's unreal.

Improvement is an active choice, that starts with recognizing what you did wrong. Its an unattainable goal for those who deny their own failings. Jacks merely repeated the same mistakes year after year after year, convincing himself that everyone else is wrong, every observed potentially objective measure is wrong, and has become accustomed to the consequences of his failings as the new normal, much how a cripple becomes accustom to limping, uneven strain and pain, etc.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Improvement is an active choice, that starts with recognizing what you did wrong. Its an unattainable goal for those who deny their own failings. Jacks merely repeated the same mistakes year after year after year, convincing himself that everyone else is wrong, every observed potentially objective measure is wrong, and has become accustomed to the consequences of his failings as the new normal, much how a cripple becomes accustom to limping, uneven strain and pain, etc.

One of Jack's few legitimate improvements was the Yorkshire Pudding re-do. He admitted he fucked it up the first time and tried again with better results.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Don't know, I think when the opportunity really presents itself with a completely incapacitated Jack unable to protest and the decision is entirely in Tam Hams hands to pull the plug it'll happen.

This could go so many different ways, depending on exactly how Jack's health continues to decline.

As I've said when discussing advance directives etc, you can't count on having one simple and clean event that kills you or leads to the "pull the plug" discussion even being an option. From the information we have now, Jack seems to be the poster child for a descent into multi-infarct dementia.

He's documented as having many small strokes, and probably is having more that nobody even noticed. He hasn't said anything about anticoagulation, neither bitching about the price of a modern DOAC nor the hassle of INR checks for generic warfarin. (Jack is a terrible source, but I suspect that if he were on warfarin, all he would have retained from the patient teaching is "green leafy vegetables = BAD, even the doctor says so.") If Jack wakes up and cannot move a limb, he notices. If he has a much smaller thrombotic event and just becomes a little slower, a little blurrier, a little worse at swallowing--that might not be noticed by him or his family. Not that one event; it's like the frog in the slowly-heating water.

Spoiler: dysphagia speculation

If Jack doesn't have another big stroke, it'd have to be something else that makes it obvious how badly he's declined. As an example, I'm still placing bets on a Dysphagia Saga: Jack presents to the ED with pneumonia; after things stabilize, a swallow eval reveals that he's been silently aspirating for months? years? But if Jack always sounds like gurgly mush, how is his family with whom he lives going to notice the slow change from one day to the next?

An ENT or SLP with time on their hands could make a great case study from Jack, since there are countless hours of him speaking and eating, able to be sorted by date. It really could be a useful teaching aid in the right hands.

Unless he dies in his sleep, or chokes while alone, I think Jack is going to have a bad decline, the kind where family keeps having to discuss whether now is the time that he needs in-home care or to go to a facility; there's never one big change, but just a tiny bit worse, a tiny bit worse. Maybe if he makes one of his family throw out their back, or has a fall from transferring. Maybe Jack will grow a pressure ulcer from a combination of stubbornness ("I'm repositioning myself, Mom") and his family's not knowing to check/not pursuing the issue.

Just like Jack, it's going to be slow and nasty.

 

[biggacracka]

there's never one big change, but just a tiny bit worse, a tiny bit worse

Death by a thousand cuts strokes

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

This one might be my favorite. Keep on keeping on Rob ...