Ask Moids Questions Thread - Opposite version of the femoid advice thread

[Spiny Rumples]

TL;DR people are gay, just wear what you want to wear but expect hostility when it happens.

This but I've found it to be true for doing anything at all, especially at work. People start shit and try to tell me what to do, and fairly often they're wrong, just jostling for status. I learned the hard way that just being a pushover is a bad move.

 

[Doktor Grimm]

Yeah you pretty much answered your own question. A lot of the dudes I talked too either mentioned that the minimum attention to fashions gay or that no one else bothering so why should I kind of mentally.

Hmm, okay, I suppose that makes sense. There does seem to be a social conformity aspect to it, in the sense that guys like to tear each other down for caring too much, but it's still strange that men as a whole aren't motivated to keep up appearances more when it's typically them trying to win over women and not the other way around. I've seen enough women complaining about men not being able to dress themselves to think that maybe some of them would benefit from putting in a little more. Men will go to ridiculous lengths for poon (...or so I've heard!).

Ultimately I think it's an evolutionary thing. Men's brains are looking for mothers, women's brains are looking for providers. Looking physically attractive for a partner, as a woman, shows fertility and loyalty, two things that will ensure a man's genes get passed on. Whereas a man with threaded eyebrows and manicures doesn't look like he could hunt the antelope, feed the children and defend the home as much as one who looks more rough around the edges.

I wonder if women actually are more attracted to traditionally masculine men, or if that's just what they're expected to like. If women were hard-wired to search for strong providers who can fight off bears or whatever, then you'd expect to see them overwhelmingly flock to ultra muscly gym chads -- but IME, that isn't the case. They're just as likely to chase after guys with dad bods or skinny twinkish sorts, and it's in fact gay men who seem to prefer the first type above all else.

That being said, I do think there's some merit to your hypothesis. Guys who are excessively foppish or effeminate in the wrong ways run the risk of being seen as weak or less dependable by women. I'd wager that that's a large part of why fags act the way they do.

I just like looking nice and the men in my social circle are much the same, it's also normal for us to complement each other on our looks when we meet, nothing gay about it.
Then again, the men in my culture greet each other with kisses on the check and some uncultured men from inferior cultures see that as gay already.

That's interesting. Perhaps it does come down to cultural difference. I wrote this on the train home from class and none of the other dudes here are dressed in anything more extravagant than, like, baggy jeans and a branded T-shirt. My fellow angloids need to up their game.

 

[eatler]

I've seen enough women complaining about men not being able to dress themselves to think that maybe some of them would benefit from putting in a little more.

It’s weird because I’ve heard this argument before but I think it’s more of a tik tok argument from women. Most women (not all obviously) will follow whatever modern trend is thrown out there. I found when I was at college most of the women I knew hooked up with dudes with beards or twinks because that was the style of the time, The popular thing was hipster-dom. I usually wasn’t so luck (I still did get dates just not as frequently) because I was an outlier and wasn’t really predictable, like an unknown factor.

That being said guys do, do the same thing in a sense. I find that right now both sides are digging heavily at each other for not stepping up to the plate and what not, not really realizing we don’t have the lives that our parents before us had. But that’s within itself a different topic.

 

[DOUBLE_WHEEL]

I wrote this on the train home from class and none of the other dudes here are dressed in anything more extravagant than, like, baggy jeans and a branded T-shirt. My fellow angloids need to up their game.

You could teach them how to dress there was a TV show years ago where people like you teach straight men how to dress. This thread has reminded me that I need to schedule a mani/pedi and see my beautician.

 

[The Ugly One]

ultra muscly gym chads

An ultra muscly gym chad is a man's idea of what a woman should find manly.

They're just as likely to chase after guys with dad bods or skinny twinkish sorts

IIRC women tend to find the skinny sad-sacks more attractive when they're teenagers, and what they find attractive varies with their fertility cycle.

 

[Doktor Grimm]

You could teach them how to dress there was a TV show years ago where people like you teach straight men how to dress.

Excellent idea! Any male Kiwis reading this be sure to share your address and IRL pictures of yourself in the thread so I can mail you a suitable new outfit.

 

[eatler]

Excellent idea! Any male Kiwis reading this be sure to share your address and IRL pictures of yourself in the thread so I can mail you a suitable new outfit.

4210 Wolfetown Rd
Cherokee, NC 28719

Bring all your bratz fashionistas with you sister!

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

Do most men legitimately not think about it?

This part mostly. Unless there's a need to impress, like a date, a professional setting, or a wedding, it's not a big concern.

What i do see as bordering gay territory is men who spend longer than their girlfriends/wives in the bathroom getting primped up or going to beauty salons and shit, that is definitely for women and i will judge you as a man if your eyebrows look more done up than my girlfriend's

TBF, no barber will cut your hair as nicely as an homo/AGP hairdresser would.

 

[The Feline Solution]

TBF, no barber will cut your hair as nicely as an homo/AGP hairdresser would.

Oh, definitely. I am rocking either a crew cut or a buzz cut ever since 15 years old but the few times i let it grow out i went to the homo hairdresser in my block at my old adress. Dude was magic. Wasn't even uncomfortable because he was way too out of my league and proffessional enough to ever hit on me

Oh no, beard oil niggas are absolute faggots I 100% agree.

I see the Men-only products shelves at my drug store growing practically every time i visit and i always ask myself "Who is buying this shit?!". Beard oil, beard shampoo, beard whateverthefuck, if you have a basic skincare routine all this is not needed. Not to mention the absurd prices of the products.

Also most of the people I come across are obsessed with logos are pretty uptight

Most ridiculous are the guys who buy for the logo but it still looks like shit on them. I almost exclusivly buy no-name sweatshirts and dress shirts these days, the cut and fit is more important than some fag designer logo on it. When i still was into expensive designer shit i still made sure it also fit me nicely first and foremost.

 

[Spunt]

I wonder if women actually are more attracted to traditionally masculine men, or if that's just what they're expected to like. If women were hard-wired to search for strong providers who can fight off bears or whatever, then you'd expect to see them overwhelmingly flock to ultra muscly gym chads -- but IME, that isn't the case. They're just as likely to chase after guys with dad bods or skinny twinkish sorts, and it's in fact gay men who seem to prefer the first type above all else.

That being said, I do think there's some merit to your hypothesis. Guys who are excessively foppish or effeminate in the wrong ways run the risk of being seen as weak or less dependable by women. I'd wager that that's a large part of why fags act the way they do.

I think it's a bit more subtle than just "woman want caveman". Women are genetically predisposed to prefer a man who can provide for her and her children, but that doesn't dictate a certain body type or personality - it is modulated by what "being able to provide" means in the cultural and economic context of the decision. Sure, if you're a cavewoman, then a big muscular caveman who can wrestle sabre-toothed tigers is a good bet. But in medieval society, predators weren't an issue, but starvation was, so chubby guys (and girls) were more desirable as it was a sign of wealth, which is in turn meant stability. Nowadays, high intelligence is increasingly important because many of the best-paid jobs require a good brain, and modern life is complicated and smart people are more likely to come out on top. The lizard brain always says "I want a man who can feed my children" but the rest of the brain is smart enough to figure out what exactly that means, which is why different women find different men attractive, and vice-versa.

Also remember that from an evolutionary perspective, women don't just want sperm donors. They need a guy who will stick around. A guy who is likely to be disloyal or a guy who is likely to die (be it from reckless bravado or aggression or from being fat or sickly) won't cut it. That's why things like hygiene and being reasonably well-groomed are pluses, but being ostentatiously overgroomed is often a turn-off, because it hints at disloyalty, homosexuality or other undesirable traits if you want to raise children. (And even if you don't, personally, want to raise children, those historic genetic factors will still subconsciously affect your decision-making, just like it does for men - a given man may not want children, but he's still going to like big boobs, wide hips and other signifiers of fertility even if he's not immediately aware of why).

 

[You're MDNWU]

For some reason, I imagine women go for the dad bods or twinks after a certain point solely because there'd be less competition from other women trying to obtain/steal what they have. It's a more "sure thing" where as Chad McChaddicus has his choice of women.

 

[TenMilesWide]

I wonder if women actually are more attracted to traditionally masculine men, or if that's just what they're expected to like. If women were hard-wired to search for strong providers who can fight off bears or whatever, then you'd expect to see them overwhelmingly flock to ultra muscly gym chads -- but IME, that isn't the case. They're just as likely to chase after guys with dad bods or skinny twinkish sorts, and it's in fact gay men who seem to prefer the first type above all else.

Muscly gym chad is a post-industrial or at least post-imperial creature. Assuming the scientists' allegations that cro-magnon is not significantly less evolved than modern human to be correct, we can assume any hardwiring is mostly the same.
The kind of cavegrug that could wrestle a bear and keep the cave safe had completely different nutrient access concerns (natural seasonally enforced bulk/cut cycle, strong incentive to maintain extra weight as a buffer for especially hungry times, and most importantly no stimulants, supplements, or processed energy-dense foods; pure organic 100% gmo-free) and exercise regimen (don't bother isolating and targeting specific muscle groups and don't rep to failure if possible, hunting and hauling and building and defending are all full-time, full-body occupations) to gym chad, so ofc the physique is gonna be a little different.

There's some glowing descriptions of american indian men from early european contact, highlighting the hardened, chiseled beauty of the noble savage or something like that. That's what the cavegrug in question would look like, that's the strong provider the monkey brain seeks.

 

[The Hardest R]

I get the feeling that most moids are resentful/bitter about having to financially support their wife/children. Is that true?

It all depends. My waifu and I are friends with a number of other couples that have arrangements similar to ours where she stays at home and he works. The only time I see moids get resentful about their part is if the foids don’t do theirs. Typically that means she stops putting out or wants a housekeeper or nanny even though she doesn’t work.

Serious question:

What is the best non-sexual thing your partner can do to make you feel loved and appreciated? I'm thinking little stuff like making your favorite dinner, doing a chore/task you hate for no reason, or buying you a small treat.

The moids provided a variety of answers so every guy is different. To me, it’s the little things. Something nice that she noticed I like every once in a while. It doesn’t involve anything ostentatious. I’m not really into gifts so just a small gesture of doing something nice goes a long way.

 

[Susanna]

What you don't seem to understand is that the transition in appearance from "wearing makeup" to "not wearing makeup" is a near-perfect simulation of what it looks like to suddenly come down with a deathly illness. As animals, we are hard-wired to notice and be frightened when all of a sudden somebody we know has a blotchy complexion and dark circles under their eyes when they previously hadn't. If women didn't wear makeup all the time, men would get used to it fairly quickly.

But my dark circles are perfectly visible through the makeup.

I wonder if women actually are more attracted to traditionally masculine men, or if that's just what they're expected to like. If women were hard-wired to search for strong providers who can fight off bears or whatever, then you'd expect to see them overwhelmingly flock to ultra muscly gym chads -- but IME, that isn't the case. They're just as likely to chase after guys with dad bods or skinny twinkish sorts, and it's in fact gay men who seem to prefer the first type above all else.

That being said, I do think there's some merit to your hypothesis. Guys who are excessively foppish or effeminate in the wrong ways run the risk of being seen as weak or less dependable by women. I'd wager that that's a large part of why fags act the way they do

An ultra muscly gym chad is a man's idea of what a woman should find manly.

IIRC women tend to find the skinny sad-sacks more attractive when they're teenagers, and what they find attractive varies with their fertility cycle.

I’m definitely in the camp that prefers a twinkish guy. I’m mid thirties, but that’s pretty much always been my type.

Spoiler: Horror

If it wasn’t for all the teenagers, crossdressing, and troonery, there are some femboys I’d find quite attractive. “Tomfemboys”? Either way it’s a shame these perfect twinks are being corrupted by Big Troon. My high school sweetheart moved to London and trooned out after like two months, so it’s a personal thing. Dodged a bullet, I suppose.

The dad bods and gym chads are equally big turnoffs for me. I’m just not into big muscles, but I feel dad bod is just an attempt to justify laziness. Just because I’m not into bodybuilders doesn’t mean guys can just let themselves go. He doesn’t even have to be all that masculine, just not outright effeminate.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

The moids provided a variety of answers so every guy is different. To me, it’s the little things. Something nice that she noticed I like every once in a while. It doesn’t involve anything ostentatious. I’m not really into gifts so just a small gesture of doing something nice goes a long way.

All of the answers have provided food for thought, so I have a follow-up. It seems like a lot of men are indifferent to gifts, even useful ones. I think some of it comes from a perception that appreciation of the aesthetic or the "finer things" is somehow unmasculine.

Spoiler

I know my own partner hates it when I spend any money on frivolous things for him. On gift-giving occasions, I try to buy him slightly nicer versions of things I know he likes or uses, and he's always appreciative, but he'll never buy anything but the cheapest stuff for himself. Think thrift store clothes and Karkov vodka and duct-taped sneakers. He even makes his own guitar picks instead of buying them! It makes it very difficult to shop for him. Don't get me wrong, I think it's kind of awesome that he gives zero shits about material possessions and he's the least superficial person I've ever known, but sometimes I'd like to be able to show my care for him by giving him nice (but useful) things, you know?

So, if you're a man who feels weird about too much money being spent on you or if you get squirrelly about receiving things that are "too nice", I would appreciate hearing from you. Can you elaborate about how you feel when your spouse or partner buys something for you that you would find too expensive to buy for yourself, even if it's something you really need? Is there a way a spouse or partner could make you less uncomfortable with being pampered a little?

(I know that the obvious thing is to have a conversation about it, but I'm curious to hear other perspectives.)

 

[Shidoen]

just get a stud finder, retard. $10 from the hardware store. also finds live wires, so you don't drill for some nerve gas.

If she had a Stud Finder then she wouldn’t need no man.

 

[dick brain]

As for the thread topic, are men really constantly and endlessly horny? I mean women can be horny, but men seem to be on a whole fucking other level. Does it really lessen with age?

Since I know you're still lurking: yes. Once again it goes back to behavioral biology: our prime directive is to pass on our genes, and while for women that's a ten month commitment at least, for men it takes like ten minutes and we can do it as often as needed. It's what we're made for. Some things curb it, like caloric deficit (famine), but otherwise we're pretty much on call at all times. It definitely diminishes with age, I'm told, but I haven't experienced that yet so I can't speak to it.

The amount of married women I come across on dating apps or "friend" apps is hilariously depressing because if/when you match, guaranteed you'll deal with their complaints about the lack of sex from their spouse.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

Not a woman, but I do have a Moid Question. How come so few of you put real effort into presenting yourselves? Don't get me wrong, I envy that you can leave the house wearing just a graphic T-shirt and cargo shorts and not give a shit about how others perceive you -- it's just odd that women are expected to fancy themselves up for men and not the other way round.

What's the hold up? Is it considered gay to care too much about that stuff? Do most men legitimately not think about it? Am I being ignorant?

Men didn't impose that expectation on women, women did. Personally I don't want anybody to "fancy themselves up," I'd rather not have to guess what people actually look like, and while this doesn't seem to be the dominant opinion among men, it's not an unpopular one either. In any case, men aren't valued primarily for their appearance, so we don't spend as much effort on it; on the contrary, men are valued for our ability to perform tasks and generally don't have the luxury of wearing uncomfortable shit that impedes our mobility or worrying about getting dirty or decorating ourselves with accessories that might get us wrapped around a lathe on Liveleak.

The thing is, all guys say this, but if I go out without makeup, you'll ask if I'm feeling ill.

That's because you wear "no makeup makeup" and tell people you're not wearing makeup when you're wearing makeup. I'm genuinely sorry that y'all've arms raced each other into having to paint a face on your face but men didn't do this to you, all we did is fall for the lie.

If women were hard-wired to search for strong providers who can fight off bears or whatever, then you'd expect to see them overwhelmingly flock to ultra muscly gym chads -- but IME, that isn't the case. They're just as likely to chase after guys with dad bods

This pic is cringe in its own way but there's a grain of truth to it.

IIRC women tend to find the skinny sad-sacks more attractive when they're teenagers, and what they find attractive varies with their fertility cycle.

It's even worse: birth control is androgizing, and there's a phenomenon of women on birth control falling for twinky boys, getting off birth control to have kids and finding that they're no longer attracted to their partners.

I’m definitely in the camp that prefers a twinkish guy. I’m mid thirties, but that’s pretty much always been my type.
If it wasn’t for all the teenagers, crossdressing, and troonery, there are some femboys I’d find quite attractive. “Tomfemboys”? Either way it’s a shame these perfect twinks are being corrupted by Big Troon. My high school sweetheart moved to London and trooned out after like two months, so it’s a personal thing. Dodged a bullet, I suppose. The dad bods and gym chads are equally big turnoffs for me. I’m just not into big muscles, but I feel dad bod is just an attempt to justify laziness. Just because I’m not into bodybuilders doesn’t mean guys can just let themselves go. He doesn’t even have to be all that masculine, just not outright effeminate.

Sounds like you're a dyke, bud.

So, if you're a man who feels weird about too much money being spent on you or if you get squirrelly about receiving things that are "too nice", I would appreciate hearing from you. Can you elaborate about how you feel when your spouse or partner buys something for you that you would find too expensive to buy for yourself, even if it's something you really need? Is there a way a spouse or partner could make you less uncomfortable with being pampered a little?

I want you to know that I read your post but I'm too neurotic in this specific regard for my opinion to be anything but poison so I'll just say +1 to having a conversation about it. Communication is everything.

 

[Susanna]

That's because you wear "no makeup makeup" and tell people you're not wearing makeup when you're wearing makeup. I'm genuinely sorry that y'all've arms raced each other into having to paint a face on your face but men didn't do this to you, all we did is fall for the lie.

Nah, I’ll be honest and say I’m wearing a little makeup if I’m asked. But strangely enough (irl) men hardly ever discuss makeup with me. I can probably count the number of times on one hand. Wonder why, many of you could use some.

Sounds like you're a dyke, bud.

Nah, not attracted to women. Nor to men cosplaying as women. Nor to most men in general. If anything I’m probably ace, but I’m reluctant to use the label, it would associate me with the genderspecials. I just like the twinky boys more than the chaddy ones.

 

[Shidoen]

For twinks, you like slim pickings @snov

 

[The Hardest R]

I think some of it comes from a perception that appreciation of the aesthetic or the "finer things" is somehow unmasculine.

For me, if I want something I’ll buy it and if I don’t buy something, it’s likely because I don’t want it.

dad bods

Dad bods are just another term for being overweight or obese. We have so many morbidly obese people that people don’t know what being overweight or non-morbid obesity looks like. Women are called thicc and men have their dad bods. I don’t expect women truly believe dad bods are sexy because obesity is unsexy in general. Most “thicc” women look better with their clothes on. Americans are just fat in general and dad bods are nothing more than a rationalization for it.