What amazes me is how many views he still gets, I guess he found his perfect audience, the one that will consoom no matter the slop.
As with everything else involving Quinton, its a monkey paw.
1. Quinton hasn't managed to get over 2M views since he stopped talking about Victorious. He used to get 4-6M. The last videos only got the extra oophm because of controversy (I'm Glad My Mom Died and Quiet on Set.)
2. You can only watch his videos in increments, meaning that the view count is massively inflated. 6M views don't look like much when the video is over 7 hours. He knows this, has talked about it and it drives him insane.
3. Views generally die down once a week has passed.
4. There's the meme in his own camp that the only reason he gets those views is because of autoplay and that most of his fans fall asleep to them. He has joked about this.
5. He had a mental breakdown he streamed about not being taken seriously as a YouTuber because of the length and subject of the only videos he is known for.
6. His current fanbase is depressingly smoothbrained because they likely aren't Gen Alpha, but late 20s-30s people who barely remember these shows, are morbidly curious about them but don't care to watch them themselves. Their reasons to like him are usually the same arguments detractors use against Quinton. He knows this.
7. Q has the real fear he won't ever get this much attention again.
oh, don't get me wrong, quinton is doing what anyone would, his watch time and ad revenue is probably comical because so many retards are falling asleep to his babbling, it's an astute business move. doesn't change that he's invented youtube goyslop.
That's the magic of it. I wouldn't be surprised if YouTube makes a rule down the line to make sure people don't try this again. During the Flowergothic saga he claimed to spend 80k on editors yet still lives in the same small, crammed apartment he has lived in for the last 3 years.
New video, it's a remake of his first Nickelodeon review
I'll keep paying for my original sin: making this thread.
Major announcement: Q revealed in a short on his second channel that his April Fool's video (a DAY LONG recap of The Beverly Hillbillies in the same style as his Nick videos done by his dad, Russ) has been stuck in YouTube Studio's video processing for two days. If it somehow releases today or what remains of this week don't expect a summary until I've been cleared by my shrink and priest. You've been warned. In the same short you can see two of his tabs, one of them
likely being this thread.
EDIT: I jinxed it Qiwi Farms. I started this roughly 3 hours before I got the notif (only managed to get through the first movie) that I knew had to be Russ Reviews. Real life and work obligations won't make this one any easier. If you are up to it we can try to coordinate an effort to recap it like with the early iCarly videos. It took me a week to soldier on and watch this one.
So, this project is a redub, meaning Q took the script from the old reviews and retooled it. This one was introduced to the Nickelodeon project plan about 3 years ago, which makes it extra funny because Q was considering reviewing Fairly Odder, which was expunged from streaming services, and after that we were supposed to get the iCarly Iceberg. Now these videos have a special place in my memory, as in I remember coming back from school and playing them to fall sleep to. Yes newfags, Quinton used to talk like a normal person. I archived the OG reviews for a joke that I'll explain later.
The review for the first movie is the sloggiest of them all because is the one that received the most updates. The OG reviews started with an FOP theme song parody and Q commissioned a redux version that features animation done by fans. As the original did, the song highlights aspects of Q's career so yeah, there are references to the Trump rant and his channel dying. There are a couple that actually caught my eye like that technically the song predicts the future since it features Air Bud, Quinton plans on moving to review the Buddies saga once he is done with all the other shit he promised like the McDonald's doc, Bigfoot and maybe he still remembers he promised Animorphs and Homestuck.
Then there are the two screencaps. SKAD is a reference to SCAD, the uni Q tried to enrol in and we know he did because he says it both in an old video reviewing Mamamax and in a segment about Miranda Cosgrove's 7 secrets. He used to say that he couldn't pay tuition but for all I know he was denied entry all together. We await Johnmas' judgement on this little nugget of Quintstory.
The other screencap features certain individuals drawn in the FOP art style. Hippie Rat on the right, Channel Pup (who Q thanks at the end as his "first fan") and the individual on the left got me like 'holy shit, is that meant to be Quinton?', which made me cackle considering the 'Quinton is trans' meme but no, that probably is Caleb, Q's funny friend. Only Caleb shows in the final video because Q is recycling footage.
This one is supposed to be Quinton, which made me have an attack of manic laughter. According to the credits this one was done by someone else and I don't know if it was made this way because it was easier to animate, this is how the animator saw him as or Q requested to be portrayed like this. I don't know which one to believe to be honest. This is like the Makeship plushie but worse, it looks like an AI generated hipster.
About the review itself, is just there. Q changes names (Timmy is Tommy, Tootie is Tootsie, Chester is Chaster) but one that I don't recall him doing is calling the villain of the movie Drumpf. One thing that he did in the OG review was say that this villain was based on Biff from BTTF2 who was based on Trump so he keeps the meme going. Q includes some sketches he did about Tommy (his lore character, more on this later) abusing his stand-in Chaster. I took these screencaps to showcase how tall he is, that their opsec would make any autistic sharty coom hard and that Q, despite wanting to be an actor, sucks at emoting.
View attachment 5874992View attachment 5875014View attachment 5875046
Q has this gag throughout the review of pretending is 2017 by holding 2017 calendars for very long stretches of time. They start pretty innocuous (as this gag can be) with stuff like Grumpy Cat and Suicide Squad but this is the final one he holds in the review for the third movie.
NOTE: Computer died and I lost all screencaps but one, guess which one survived.
Q also makes 'ominous' comments about stuff like saying that he can't wait for Hillary to beat Trump or while talking about Cheryl Hines that he doesn't expect her husband, RFK Jr, to do anything but charity.
Only noteworthy quote is @44:49. "Please free me from this hell of my own design" while talking about Poof being voiced by Randy Jackson and being unsure of if he should be offended. Even though he knows people cared about doing a good movie it still fails, calls it an insult to storytelling and demands a written apology to be engraved in every city. Pretty rich if I say so myself.
The review for the second movie was a breeze compared to the first because is very heavy on 2017 Quinton (whenever you see Q on camera in this video is stuff filmed in 2017). Old Quinton talks like a normal person and isn't tryharding to be funny. So 2017 Q is like one of your buds talking with you about a movie whereas current Q is like an awkward stand up comedian at the uni pub that makes his routine around namedropping and making innuendos while describing what he watched last night. @52:00 is almost a surreal experience because is Q talking about how even though he watches bad movies, they usually earn his respect, something that used to be considered one of his strengths as a reviewer with the same voice that we know now belongs to a man that only goes after low hanging fruit that won't affect his optics.
Really not much happens in this part because the OG review was a watchalong he made with his mates for a Christmas party and most of the banter was cut. He references Mason, OH twice which houses King's Island, the amusement park Q 'spent most of his life at' and were he got his Silver the Hedgehog plushie. He jokes a lot about a race war between the fairies and the elves (the subplot of the movie). His old profile pic (a penguin body mounted over a muscled body) comes from this.
His final verdict @1:12:10. He doesn't hate this one as much as the original because it reminds him of Christmas slop he watched when he was a child. He also says he watched the Barney Christmas special on a loop so often his parents hid it from him.
Chapter ending is another skit made in the same plot of land to give you even more angles to dox him. If the wall and cluster mailbox look familiar to the oldfags is because is the same place where the 'I WILL SUCK YOUR DICK' video was filmed.
View attachment 5895174View attachment 5895178
Third movie review was so-so. Not as much of a drag as the first but felt like it had more tampering than the second. The OG review was a 100k sub anniversary so it feels even more self-congratulatory than opening I'm Glad My Mom Died discussion by calling the video a 400k special. @1:15:30 gives us motivation while watching his first review at age 16 'if this ball of grease could make it, there's nothing stopping you from making something better".
View attachment 5895180View attachment 5895191
There are a couple of classic Quinton bitch sayings here. @1:21:29 is him making a snide about being trapped talking about other people for relevancy for instance. The reason I archived these reviews is because Quinton namedrops Mumkey in this one, since Scott Baio cosplays as him in this one for a scene. @1:34:32 Q names Mumkey, which surprised me specially for the restraint of only saying he should've rewritten the joke. At @1:38:02 he redoes the one joke I remembered after all these years, Timmy dies and turns into a fairy and gets to dance with Tootie "this is going to need some getting used to" she says to which Quinton replies "What... being a paedophile?" Before you think it, I wouldn't say any of this moments are clip worthy, I'm mentioning for the accuracy's sake.
One thing Q does consistently in this section is pulling a George Lucas with the prequels. He forces his retarded clipboard gag on our beloved Johnmas and later (on a screencap that delted itself in embarrasment), Q forces a bit from his lore movie (yes newfags, Quinton made a Channel Awesome movie of his own) that is 3 minutes of his dad on a Trump mask talking about how Quinton and Tommy Turner are trying to stop him. That's not the worst part. I didn't even bother with his movie, hardly anyone did, but turns out that Q dubbed Trump (who is an antagonist in his lore, yes really) and Q has the worst Trump impression I've heard since Ben Glieb. He doesn't just not sound like Trump, he doesn't even try sounding like a New Yorker.
View attachment 5895727
View attachment 5895796View attachment 5895818
Turns out the only useful thing about sitting through this slog was finding out Q still has access to his old room.
