It is time to leave Elaine alone. She is taken now.

[Aljam]

Which machine elf is bending you over and driving now?

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

I get an allowance of 1000 per month that I can spend freely and I don't spend much of it so most of it is in my savings account so I can make some big purchases without asking them. The allowance I get is also generated from another account that my parents have set up for me and that has a lot of money that I would have to ask permission to use

You did say you were in your mid 30s. This isn't the flex you think it is. You could, instead, get a job, make your own money, spend it however you want.

but it is still technically mine

"Well, it's in my parents name but it's 'technically' mine." That's how you sound right now.

I also have an emergency savings fund but I don't have access to that one at all

Money you don't have access to isn't 'your' money.

I don't really know much about how finances work though, nor do I have a need for that.

That's patently obvious. Congratulations, you have the financial literacy of Chris Chan.

Before you post again @TrollCat's Owner, please complete this quiz and report the results here: Are you a Lolcow?

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

This is besides the point though. I am just back her to check and see if my thread was locked.

Could you make a new thread explaining the lore and backstory of the machine elves? I'm intrigued by them and would like to know more.

 

[Tablet County]

Could you make a new thread explaining the lore and backstory of the machine elves? I'm intrigued by them and would like to know more.

You eat the DMT and gnomes show you how to make a nuclear weapon.

 

[TrollCat's Owner]

You did say you were in your mid 30s. This isn't the flex you think it is. You could, instead, get a job, make your own money, spend it however you want.

"Well, it's in my parents name but it's 'technically' mine." That's how you sound right now.

Money you don't have access to isn't 'your' money.

That's patently obvious. Congratulations, you have the financial literacy of Chris Chan.

Before you post again @TrollCat's Owner, please complete this quiz and report the results here: Are you a Lolcow?

I'm not a lolcow, which is why I would like my thread locked. I came here for a serious discussion on the abuse of someone close to me. Nobody is willing to have that. You are all more lolcow worthy than I am for even being on this site in the first place. Normal people don't bother people who want to be left alone.

 

[Tablet County]

I'm not a lolcow

All men and women are lolcows in the end. All it takes is one bad day.

 

[TapewormSalesman]

OP, you are a godsend and a mighty wizard

Spoiler: Sing-a-long!

First I need to include proof that I am more jacked than all of you.
I am in my mid 30s and I live with my parents.
I have not worked a job in my life.
I want you to know there is nothing you can say that will offend me
You cannot hurt a NEET. (You just can't.)
I want the abuse directed towards Elaine to stop.
Why am I doing this for Elaine? Elaine and I have been edating for months now
I will meet her in France and we will hold hands for the first time.
This ghost is a representation of myself.
By drawing my sigil on herself she has spun a bond between me and her through the astral realm.
I have mastered it at this point, through the use of sigils and spilling my own blood I can enhance my abilities even further.
I live in Spokane Washington (The Wern!)
We have mutual combat laws.
I do not want to fight if I don't have to but if you refuse to leave Elaine alone then I will have no choice.
Now of course, I know that most of you are keyboard warriors who would never step within 100 miles of me.
I know most of you have no physical capabilities.
That is where my abilities in the astral realm will take effect.
Once my connection with Elaine only allowed me to protect her from nightmares and physical harm,
but by spilling my own blood it will expand to cursing anyone who harasses her online.
Imagine a life where every time you try to sleep you are reaped by machine elves?
That is the least of what I could do. In the astral realm
I can control time and space,
I doubt any of you would have the experience or the will to stop me.
I urge you to consider your actions.
I do not want this fight, but I will do what I have to do to protect Elaine

 

['Ole Dente]

You would know if you read my post. Just my wrestling alone is enough to fuck up 99 percent of the population.

If you come here, show your muscles and say “Look at my muscles lads” while bragging that you also like to grab and hug men on the ground in a onesie, people are going to think you’re gay and rightly so. Those are the behaviours of a gay man.

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

I'm not a lolcow, which is why I would like my thread locked. I came here for a serious discussion on the abuse of someone close to me. Nobody is willing to have that. You are all more lolcow worthy than I am for even being on this site in the first place. Normal people don't bother people who want to be left alone.

You're not a lolcow, okay. Let's review:

You made the following statements:

First I need to include proof that I am more jacked than all of you. I am 5'11 190 pounds and I can deadlift 500 pounds with wraps. In about 6 months I should be able to do it raw. I am in my mid 30s and I live with my parents. I have not worked a job in my life. I am telling you all this because I want you to know there is nothing you can say that will offend me to maybe save the both of us some time. You cannot hurt a NEET. You just can't. Especially when my looks are actually decent so "omg you must be a fat neckbeard" isn't going to work on me.

This ghost is a representation of myself. By drawing my sigil on herself she has essentially created a permanent link between me and her through the astral realm. Before you marvel nerds start talking shit about what you think astral projection is I am going to just straight up tell you it is not that kind of astral projection. I learned how to do it when I was trying to teach myself how to lucid dream at the age of 15 and I would accidentally leave my body during the process. I have mastered it at this point, and through the use of sigils and spilling my own blood I can enhance my abilities even further. If you still don't believe we are dating feel free to ask her yourself. I promise we will meet up in France.

This next part is something I didn't want to do, but I had no choice because most of you are extremely mentally ill. It became obvious to me when I saw Elaine's thread was filled with hundreds of pages of full grown men going after a young woman for little to no reason. Do you not have anything else to do with your life? Do you feel powerful behind your screen? If anyone of you would like to meet in person I am willing to fight you as long as you let me film it for legal purposes. I live in Spokane Washington and we have mutual combat laws. I also have 20 plus years of wrestling experience, 4 of those were as a collegiate wrestler at a competitive school and I almost made it into the olympics and only didn't because I failed a drug test. I also spent half a decade after college trying to get into the UFC and I had multiple amateur fights, none of which I lost except for the ones where I was DQ'd due to weight or drugs. My striking was not good enough for the UFC but I promise it is going to be better than a hobbyist, and I doubt many of you are even hobbyist level. Since I am also a NEET with rich parents I am willing to travel to you and face you in your own towns if you have access to a gym we can spar at or of your local ordinance allows mutual combat. I do not want to fight if I don't have to but if you refuse to leave Elaine alone then I will have no choice.

That is where my abilities in the astral realm will take effect. Before my connection with Elaine only allowed me to protect her from nightmares and physical harm, but by spilling my own blood I will expand that to include cursing anyone who harasses her online. Imagine a life where every time you try to sleep you are raped by machine elves? That is the least of what I could do. In the astral realm I can control time and space, and I doubt any of you would have the experience or the will to stop me.

Yes. I made a contract with an entity who I cannot name due to the nature of our contract. He gives me enhanced physical strength and stamina, as well as inhuman pain tolerance. I made my contract with him because I was pissed about not making it into the UFC.

Motherfucker, after all of this verbal diarrhea I have no idea why we don't have an entire thread dedicated just to you yet.

BUT WAIT THAT'S NOT ALL

I get an allowance of 1000 per month that I can spend freely and I don't spend much of it so most of it is in my savings account so I can make some big purchases without asking them.

I don't really know much about how finances work though, nor do I have a need for that.

You're either lying about the money, or you're a mentally unstable trust fund baby, disabled adult, or very likely both. You are absolutely lying about this astral projection pseudoscience bullshit. It isn't real, none of what you mentioned is real. I wouldn't be surprised if you were lying about your 'wrestling' or 'lifting'. Now you're shitting up threads for some BPD lolcow and acting like a retard (a word you can't bring yourself to even say, because you're a petulant manchild).

You. Are. A. Lolcow. You broke my lolcow detector. When can I expect an entire ED article dedicated to you?

 

[isalaide]

I'm not a lolcow, which is why I would like my thread locked. I came here for a serious discussion on the abuse of someone close to me. Nobody is willing to have that. You are all more lolcow worthy than I am for even being on this site in the first place. Normal people don't bother people who want to be left alone.

Take a photo of your risperidone first. Either you're a gimmick poster or you're quite unwell, and I suspect the latter.

 

[WASR96]

I get an allowance of 1000 per month that I can spend freely and I don't spend much of it so most of it is in my savings account so I can make some big purchases without asking them. The allowance I get is also generated from another account that my parents have set up for me and that has a lot of money that I would have to ask permission to use, but it is still technically mine. I also have an emergency savings fund but I don't have access to that one at all. I don't really know much about how finances work though, nor do I have a need for that.

This is besides the point though. I am just back her to check and see if my thread was locked. Curious why it hasn't been even though I asked for it to happen a few hours ago.

@Null lock this thread janny.

It's not your money. It's your parents money. Do they ever express the massive shame that parents must feel to have their 30 year old son sitting around their house? They should be off enjoying retirement rather than paying your way through life. It's really sad that you're 30 and you have no concept of how finances work. I'm just stunned that you believe it's a flex.

Also, you don't get to dictate what gets locked here. You believe in astral projection or some sort of similar bullshit, you're challenging the internet to fight you and you live at home at 30. You're definitely a lolcow, even if you're a mildly uninteresting one at that. You posted this yourself and now you get to watch people laugh at it with zero power to lock it. It's something that happens when you made goofy ass choices like this. Welcome to adulthood.

 

[Vi0l3t]

"I am telling you all this because I want you to know there is nothing you can say that will offend me to maybe save the both of us some time."

Lmfao someone not offended wouldnt get on here and cry about it. Please tell us more how nothing is offending you.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

I get an allowance of 1000 per month that I can spend freely and I don't spend much of it so most of it is in my savings account so I can make some big purchases without asking them. The allowance I get is also generated from another account that my parents have set up for me and that has a lot of money that I would have to ask permission to use, but it is still technically mine. I also have an emergency savings fund but I don't have access to that one at all. I don't really know much about how finances work though, nor do I have a need for that.

This is besides the point though. I am just back her to check and see if my thread was locked. Curious why it hasn't been even though I asked for it to happen a few hours ago.

@Null lock this thread janny.

Only retards and mental patients get allowances. I take it you're getting some government handout and think you're special for it. Why would anyone lock the thread? People are having fun laughing at your stupid ass. You'll just be put into a time out and people will continue to laugh.

 

[DiggieSmalls]

People generally are in disbelief that some people are legitimately this pathetic and stupid. They say "hurrr this has to be a gay op", "this is trolling". I think they should be pointed to @TrollCat's Owner as someone who is this stupid. But its pretty entertaining to witness.

 

[PonderosaPete]

Imagine being in your thirties and just finding out you can't whine at mods like their your fadder and get a thread removed.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

People generally are in disbelief that some people are legitimately this pathetic and stupid. They say "hurrr this has to be a gay op", "this is trolling". I think they should be pointed to @TrollCat's Owner as someone who is this stupid. But its pretty entertaining to witness.

Really no different than Nikolas Marshall Talbott who care here looking for a personal army against a 14 year old. Now he has a thread.

 

[E. E. Cummings]

I'm not a lolcow,

bad news, friend. your parents have been made aware of this thread, and they've decided to take away your birthday. gonna have to make your own tendies this year.

 

[Higgs Bonbon]

this is what happens when Null makes a troll post a happening, we get copycats.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

I'm not a lolcow, which is why I would like my thread locked.

It's not for you to decide.

I came here for a serious discussion on the abuse of someone close to me.

I don't think you are being honest. I believe you are simply the next guy in a long succession of people trying to troll her and make her do something stupid using her obvious need of acceptance and positive attention.

Nobody is willing to have that.

Go on, make your point.

 

[Absurdity]

TrollCat BTFO again.
View attachment 5909167

Oh no! Staunch the bleeding. Pack up the mall katana. Refund those tickets for France. Now look in the mirror and play this: