Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Crocodylus Acutus]

Someone has been indulging in Joker Fish.
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This is Nick whenever [INSERT NO-NAME LAWTUBER HERE] noseguards him for a whole stream.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

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she's right behind you Ramen, don't make any sudden movements

GAH! That genuinely freaked me out, a thumbs up, sir! What’s even MORE frightening is that Mandela Megan still looks healthier than Rage Twig.

I’m sure there’s some seeds of a Kiwi ARG here somewhere.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

So when Nick opens that bag of chips and eats one single Dorito does he act graciously and give the rest away to the kids or does he horde it all for homself slowly eating the entire bag across days or does he eat a single chip and toss the rest in the trash.

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

So when Nick opens that bag of chips and eats one single Dorito does he act graciously and give the rest away to the kids or does he horde it all for homself slowly eating the entire bag across days or does he eat a single chip and toss the rest in the trash.

It seems Nick is subjecting his whole family to his diet, except Kayla, she only eats pills. Let's just hope he isn't making his kids drink a bottle of liquor a day like he does as well.

 

[Chazzed Up]

So when Nick opens that bag of chips and eats one single Dorito does he act graciously and give the rest away to the kids or does he horde it all for homself slowly eating the entire bag across days or does he eat a single chip and toss the rest in the trash.

Dorito rationing like they're on the Oregon Trail, that's dark.

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

I forget the age range of Nick's children.

But surely even his youngest is capable of nuking a bowl of Spaghetti-Os?

I suppose the biggest challenge might be opening the can if it doesn't have a pull tab.

But surely there must be an automatic opener somewhere on that pigsty of a counter.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

So when Nick opens that bag of chips and eats one single Dorito does he act graciously and give the rest away to the kids or does he horde it all for homself slowly eating the entire bag across days or does he eat a single chip and toss the rest in the trash.

I bet he leaves it laying around for days attracting flies and shit. And it's not like he can remember where it's at, it's like his liquor bottles, he just stumbles into a bag whenever he needs the Daily Dorito.

 

[McMitch]

Dorito rationing like they're on the Oregon Trail, that's dark.

Nick looks like he’s Benny suffering from dysentery for the last few weeks.

 

[PPPCadenceFan]

I forget the age range of Nick's children.

But surely even his youngest is capable of nuking a bowl of Spaghetti-Os?

I suppose the biggest challenge might be opening the can if it doesn't have a pull tab.

But surely there must be an automatic opener somewhere on that pigsty of a counter.

IIRC his youngest is quite young, but there are multiple children who could assist. I think the youngest is around toddler-kindergarten age.

 

[Nate Higgers]

I’m sure the answer is obvious/this is probably a really dumb question but; Whose habits/binging are more unhealthy?

• BossManJack: smoking crack and “weed” every day, multiple times a day; don’t know much about his sleep schedule but I’m sure it’s not good. Also apparently vapes a lot
• Nick “Balldo Lawyer” Rekieta: drinks a bottle of liquor a day (minimum), eats at a severe caloric deficit, loads up on various uppers/Modafinil so he can “get by” on 2-4h of sleep after binge drinking every night. Possibly on cocaine/amphetamines but no solid evidence that I’m aware of has surfaced yet. Not even gonna get into the sexual degeneracy/swinging.

 

[KMFDM Sucks]

IIRC his youngest is quite young, but there are multiple children who could assist. I think the youngest is around toddler-kindergarten age.

Nothing like the formative experiences of raising your siblings as a teenager, a true staple of the neglected child of an alcoholic.

 

[Provably Wrong]

In a mild defense of lawtubers, we are focused on Nick, they are focused on themselves. From their point of view, why would you want to hard disavow or take a solid stance at all, unless you think this would help your channel? Networking together is kind of what made most of these people into what they are now. The sensible move is to just continue along your own path and never be the one to burn the bridge, unless there is overwhelming consensus in the peer group because of something universally considered to be heinous. You don’t want to stand out from the group as the first person to exclude someone who might bounce back later for all they know.

I also would give people who continue to interact as normal the benefit of the doubt that it’s not just leeching. If someone you looked up to or got your start from is down, you may feel the best thing you can do is to say hey buddy, let’s do that thing we used to do, just like the old times. I’ll make you feel like you’re still that person and you can still do it and we don’t have to dwell on the situation you’re in now, maybe you can get back in the groove this way.
Lastly if I were them, I wouldn’t want to think that his path is anything remotely like my own and it’s best to just ignore him as being burned out/overdressed for a bit.

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

IIRC his youngest is quite young, but there are multiple children who could assist. I think the youngest is around toddler-kindergarten age.

He's got 5 kids of whom I believe roughly break down like this: Christian 15, Avery (boy) 13, SyliviaMarie 10, AudreyRose 8 (the one who makes him nuts - GO AUDREYROSE!!), and CeciliaJayne 5.

Source: Obit of Nick's grandmother so calm down, everyone. Also, NICK has made his life, and the ages of his kids, public.

Using Cynthia's math from Feb 2023, his youngest would be between 6-7.

Borderline to be using a can opener and a microwave depending on height. But theoretically possible.

 

[L Ton Tubbard]

I’m sure the answer is obvious/this is probably a really dumb question but; Whose habits/binging are more unhealthy?

How often does BMJ engage in nose candy? I don't follow him too often but it sounds like it's less frequently than Nick abusing his meds to drink far beyond what he would normally be able to. I guess there's also the question of harm, BMJ doesn't have children he's letting down anytime he goes on a bender.

 

[Captain Manning]

I’m sure the answer is obvious/this is probably a really dumb question but; Whose habits/binging are more unhealthy?

• BossManJack: smoking crack and “weed” every day, multiple times a day; don’t know much about his sleep schedule but I’m sure it’s not good. Also apparently vapes a lot
• Nick “Balldo Lawyer” Rekieta: drinks a bottle of liquor a day (minimum), eats at a severe caloric deficit, loads up on various uppers/Modafinil so he can “get by” on 2-4h of sleep after binge drinking every night. Possibly on cocaine/amphetamines but no solid evidence that I’m aware of has surfaced yet. Not even gonna get into the sexual degeneracy/swinging.

BMJ doesn't have a wife and kids. Nick is automatically more unhealthy.

Face it, BMJ is destined to always lose. Even the position of top lolcow. Losing is BMJ's whole thing.

How often does BMJ engage in nose candy?

I dunno, but there is hard proof from BMJ's Discord he does, whereas the shit Nick is on is a source of endless speculation (other than alcohol, obviously). I think we all know it's one or more things, but what they are is not known with absolute certainty.

 

[Local Wordmason]

I’m sure the answer is obvious/this is probably a really dumb question but; Whose habits/binging are more unhealthy?

At least Bossman is at the bottom, and has nobody relying on him. You can feel bad for his parents, but ultimately it's their choice to put up with him. Nick was in a position where he was doing really well, he had money, a family, a house, a job. He had the potential to ensure his family would want for nothing, potentially for generations. The selfishness of him to punish his children with his lifestyle is nothing short of depressing. Not only is he risking the potential of leaving his family worse off than it could be, but he also will end up raising many, many, maladapted adults.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

At least Bossman is at the bottom, and has nobody relying on him. You can feel bad for his parents, but ultimately it's their choice to put up with him. Nick was in a position where he was doing really well, he had money, a family, a house, a job. He had the potential to ensure his family would want for nothing, potentially for generations. The selfishness of him to punish his children with his lifestyle is nothing short of depressing. Not only is he risking the potential of leaving his family worse off than it could be, but he also will end up raising many, many, maladapted adults.

It's very possible his children will still want for nothing for generations thanks to his grandmother's wise move to deny Nick a trust fund. Unfortunately, there are five children being raised by this drug addict alcoholic perverted faggot and his pillhead wife and all the fellow pervert addicts like the Imholtes and sickos like Drexel they associate with. That can't be good long-term. I feel sorry for them, but as Nick says, they've got a million bucks.

 

[AnOminous]

Nick is the absolute worst kind of lolbertarian - he doesn't just want there to be less government involvement in citizens' lives, like a normal libertarian. He just hates ANY-body telling him what to do ever, and will always out of instinct do whatever the opposite is that anyone tells him to do, because he does what he wants, and only if he came up with the idea.

That's not even lolbert. Even lolberts believe in the enforcement of contracts. Nick thinks he should be able to contract to do something, pocket the money, then just tell the other side to fuck off and whine like a bitch if asked to do what he said he would. He thinks he should be able to get married, have kids, take a bunch of vows, then shit on them and go engage in cuckoldry and degeneracy instead of living up to his word like a man.

So when Nick opens that bag of chips and eats one single Dorito does he act graciously and give the rest away to the kids or does he horde it all for homself slowly eating the entire bag across days or does he eat a single chip and toss the rest in the trash.

He would have fed them but they were begging for food in a really faggoty way.

It's like Oliver Twist and shit up in that Rackets rape castle.

 

[zimzam88]

The selfishness of him to punish his children with his lifestyle is nothing short of depressing. Not only is he risking the potential of leaving his family worse off than it could be, but he also will end up raising many, many, maladapted adults.

But have you considered it to be FUNNY and WEIRD? He is a stand-up comedian after all.

He would have fed them but they were begging for food in a really faggoty way.

Only fatties beg for food and they should strive to look like a skeleton like him because that's peak healthiness (best health of his life, his "numbers" are great).

 

[Local Wordmason]

I feel sorry for them, but as Nick says, they've got a million bucks.

A couple million bucks only goes so far when you raise five children that may grow up mirroring the habits of their dear old dad. The grandparents will be spinning in their graves while the Rekieta children blow all the money Nick wasn't able to.