Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Dromedary]

I have some bad news:
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Spoiler: More on this

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Full trans treatment. Even the cover artist is a pooner.

Apparently this is a "remix" set of classic literature which makes them legally published gay fanfiction, trans optional.

I'm just upset they didn't use your title.


So what do you (or any other kiwis) think Mallory truly wants? What are her goals, if any, and what is her ideal life?


I'm so glad Katie has the most sane reaction towards all this. It's nice to see someone critiquing them who's on twitter.


I love it when he feels trivialized.

Lol. I hate these people so much. They can't create anything original, so they resort to defacing great works and pretending it's artful genius. They're cretins.

I am so sick to the fucking back teeth of the word "marginalized". Troons and coons and absolutely everyone in the fucking world who isn't a white male (gay white men are oppressors too remember) have been lauded and worshipped and given jobs, awards, scholarships, endless opportunities from cringingly obeisant sectors in academia, publishing, art, corporate business, Hollywood, every-fucking-where bending over backwards to accommodate them, for over a decade if not more. There's about twenty different foreign ethnicities in the US who vastly out-earn the average white American man, the terrible oppressor. Who's "marginalized" here?

 

[AMHOLIO]

BOY. Of course he's a "sweet boy" isn't that what every gay man wants? Wait, what? Teen girls, you say? Nah. These are some manly, manly men we're talking about. Tom of Finland is just a sweet boy with an oversized packer.

Listen, not everyone has taste like Vingle and his lust for young ass.

Hilariously Mallory seems to have gone into a dad look or inoffensive midddle aged man mode right away, likely what kind of man she might actually want. The thrill of being used by others is strong though.

Lol. I hate these people so much. They can't create anything original, so they resort to defacing great works and pretending it's artful genius. They're cretins.

It's an excuse to write gay romance that appeals to teens and immature yaoi fans, with a built in plot and brand recognition so they don't have to think as hard. It's just shitty professional fanfiction of public domain stories with a niche market. They only think it's genius because they're living the yaoi version of "Ooh Mr. Darcy".


It's more pathetic and laughable than anything and will be forgotten about in 5 to 10 years like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

 

[behindyourightnow]

One of the things that most stuck out in my mind as a teen when reading books by the Brontë sisters or Austen was the extreme gravity and importance of romance and marriage. It was the sword of Damocles looming over every women’s head. Not surprisingly, with this perspective Emily Bronte and Austen avoided marriage entirely while Charlotte Brontë married then within a year died in childbirth to really drive home the stakes involved

Poor Charlotte didn't even last that long, she died of (what was probably) hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy.

The backbone of all of those women's novels, to some extent or another, is characters' female-sexed bodies and the dangers and limitations imposed on them because of those bodies. Mallory, who happened to be born within a historical blip of a time period in which (some) women are not at the mercy of reproduction, has decided in her arrogance that actually, one's sex doesn't matter at all. What really affects one's life is one's invisible gender soul, somehow. No wonder Malory doesn't seem to understand the books.

I have some bad news:

Oliver Bennet feels trapped. Not just by the endless corsets, petticoats and skirts he's forced to wear on a daily basis, but also by society's expectations. The world—and the vast majority of his family and friends—think Oliver is a girl named Elizabeth. He is therefore expected to mingle at balls wearing a pretty dress, entertain suitors regardless of his interest in them, and ultimately become someone's wife.

But Oliver can't bear the thought of such a fate. He finds solace in the few times he can sneak out of his family's home and explore the city rightfully dressed as a young gentleman.

Remember girls, if you don't want to wear "petticoats and corsets" and mingle with suitors at balls until your identity is subsumed in marriage, it doesn't mean that you are living in a restrictive society that pushes women into a single confined role and takes away their choices in life. It just means that you are secretly in possession of a magical man-soul! Because if you were a woman, you'd be fine with everything imposed on you by 19th-century English society. Duh.

I'm so glad this very progressive worldview has taken hold of all our institutions.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Remember girls, if you don't want to wear "petticoats and corsets" and mingle with suitors at balls until your identity is subsumed in marriage, it doesn't mean that you are living in a restrictive society that pushes women into a single confined role and takes away their choices in life. It just means that you are secretly in possession of a magical man-soul! Because if you were a woman, you'd be fine with everything imposed on you by 19th-century English society. Duh.

I'm so glad this very progressive worldview has taken hold of all our institutions.

I think I got so enraged when I first saw this because it's such a spit in the fucking face to the historical struggles of women in those time periods. Countless grandmothers suffered in their pigeonholed roles as women back in the day and yet fuck them, you want to pretend to be fey yaoi boys in the struggle of these women. It's a complete disregard for historical context that shows a lack of understanding that society changes over time, I can't trust a person who can't get why certain social rules were popular or accepted as fact to write any sort of non-one dimensional character aside from their self insert.

But again, I realized this is a fad and I shouldn't chimp out over it. I used to follow the artist for a bit but her art fetishizing young fey adolescent boys & trans bois in the 1800s-1900s while she herself was a pooner in her late 20s didn't sit well with me.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I hate these people so much. They can't create anything original, so they resort to defacing great works and pretending it's artful genius. They're cretins.

It's the literary manifestation of the domesticated dog meme:

It's more pathetic and laughable than anything and will be forgotten about in 5 to 10 years like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Funny, I remembered that extremely irritating franchise and the aggressive marketing campaign around it the other day. I was trying to place if it occurred before or after Mallory did basically the same shtick over and over again with The Toast (which I didn't follow at the time- it was not aimed at me and I never noticed it- I became aware of her when she trooned out and went to Slate). It was before. 2009. So her little "txts from Jane" or whatever bit was not even original when it started. That whole "wry modernizing of Austen" had already been done to death.

BTW what the devil is going on here:

 

[AMHOLIO]

BTW what the devil is going on here:

It's supposed to be Polyamory or pansexual, but you know why other P creeps snuck it it.

 

[பிரகாசிக்கும்]

Thanks for the free publicity. Mr. Daniel loves it also.

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you wont believe it, for everyone on this childrens site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. even the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

Have a great day I hope we solve your problem for you
-Dave S.

buy WOMENS HOTEL

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Thanks for the free publicity. Mr. Daniel loves it also.

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you wont believe it, for everyone on this childrens site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. even the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

Have a great day I hope we solve your problem for you
-Dave S.

buy WOMENS HOTEL

Lol. It took you four days to come up with this wet turd reply and you’ve already rewrote and edited three times in fifteen minutes. Slow clap.

 

[OttoWest]

What publicity? The only people talking about it are the dozen autists active in this thread.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

What publicity? The only people talking about it are the dozen autists active in this thread.

You must not have keen insight into the publishing industry like our esteemed DAVE S.

KF threads are the key to many an author’s success. Look what it’s done for Prof. Joseph’s writing career. Oh wait.

Well, Mallory can join KF superstar authors like Patrick Thomlinson, Zoe Quinn and Jordan Peterson thanks to the super promotional powers of KF.

 

[TooManyKittens]

Mal is joining Deathcow Corissa in the “30-something looking 50-something” skin damage

You must not have keen insight into the publishing industry like our esteemed DAVE S.

KF threads are the key to many an author’s success. Look what it’s done for Prof. Joseph’s writing career. Oh wait.

Well, Mallory can join KF superstar authors like Patrick Thomlinson, Zoe Quinn and Jordan Peterson thanks to the super promotional powers of KF.

How dare you forget the great lasting heights Gretchen fucker-martin has achieved! He eve has the notoriety of an attempted read through on the farms. Something grace Lavery doesn't have. I'd propose we try it with our esteemed reviewers whose publicity matters so much to search engines and the world!

Seriously if kf is back on Google im happy to "acquire" a copy of please miss so we can shit all over it and hopefully any search engine results. Let them enjoy the attention they order

 

[Entry Team To TOC]

the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

"I know what'll show those mean kiwis! Calling the men gay and the women sad idiots who don't know any better!"
If you're gonna be sexist and homophobic, at least put some effort into it, chum. Don'tcha just wanna cut loose with some of the fun slurs you can't say in polite company? C'mon, it'll be fun!

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Thanks for the free publicity. Mr. Daniel loves it also.

Hey you know what would get even more free publicity? If you kept coming back to this thread and saying stupid shit until we got it boosted to the front page as a happening! "Troon throuple cuck Danny Mallory Ortberg Lavery's book agent appears in the guise of pajeet customer service agent to white knight for his client." I can see it now. You can really make the big time!

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you wont believe it, for everyone on this childrens site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. even the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

Who gets to be the fag and who gets to be the Tumblrina? Anyone want to call it? And which fate is objectively worse?

Have a great day I hope we solve your problem for you
-Dave S.

buy WOMENS HOTEL

I plan to check it out from my library and then bury it in a public trash can.

 

[CoolFool]

Thanks for the free publicity. Mr. Daniel loves it also.

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you wont believe it, for everyone on this childrens site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. even the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

Have a great day I hope we solve your problem for you
-Dave S.

buy WOMENS HOTEL

Is it really "free publicity" if the only people talking about the book is a handful of autists, who are not talking about it outside of this thread, and are certainly not going to buy the book when it comes out?

This thread isn't even popular by KF standards. Compared to other lolcows, this thread doesn't get much attention.

I have to wonder how dire is Mallory's situation to the point where you're actually trying to court spergs lol

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Is it really "free publicity" if the only people talking about the book is a handful of autists, who are not talking about it outside of this thread, and are certainly not going to buy the book when it comes out?

This thread isn't even popular by KF standards. Compared to other lolcows, this thread doesn't get much attention.

I have to wonder how dire is Mallory's situation to the point where you're actually trying to court spergs lol

I suspect the truth is even funnier than that. Theory: Pajeet is here because Mallory is having a full emotional freakout/meltdown, as only a woman of her sort can have. Maybe she looked at this thread for the first time ever, in the course of searching for name mentions before starting the book promo. Maybe someone alluded to her that meanies somewhere on the internet were saying bad things about her in the wake of the NY Mag feature. Being benched in her marriage and unemployed in Greenland, she has all the time in the world to spin her wheels about this. She has begged Jeetus Deleetus here to intervene on her behalf with the bad bad men and women who are making her sound like a stupid midwit weakling just as she plans to reveal herself as the modern-day...Roth? Proust? Well whatever- we have ruined it and must be told what-for. But not by her. She's too passive and weak to stand up for herself. Or else she wouldn't be known as that gal who got humiliatingly and publicly unwound by a sexually deviant potato with jaundice.

 

[monstrous bubo]

Thanks for the free publicity. Mr. Daniel loves it also.

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you wont believe it, for everyone on this childrens site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. even the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

Have a great day I hope we solve your problem for you
-Dave S.

buy WOMENS HOTEL

l thought being here was just proof I was autistic. I never knew I could larp as badass and revolutionary as well. Thanks! And tell Mal she’s welcome for the free publicity on a children’s site, which is pretty useful if you’ve written a children’s book. To show my gratitude, I have copyedited your post into correct English.

Thanks for the free publicity. Mr. Daniel loves it also.

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you won’t believe it, for everyone on this children’s site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. That includes the obviously closeted but manly fag, and that poor woman who thinks this is her Tumblr.

Have a great day. I hope we solved your problem for you.

-Dave S.

Buy WOMEN’S HOTEL.

 

[Bookwork]

Is Mal voicing her own Audible? Contralto or baritone?

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

The very idea that people in this thread consider it a "badass, revolutionary act."

No, most people who are in their middle age arcs don't really think of their pastimes as badass or revolutionary. We're just here to giggle and titter, like the dotty females we are.

It genuinely is weird how they think we all think we're so bad to be posting here. It's a gossip forum, it's not actually that complicated, we're just hens clucking. Women doing women things. You might not understand, "Mr. Daniel," because of your very real masculinity.

 

[Haram-Habibi]

Why would a manly man man write a book about stereotypical women in the 60s? She almost seems more female as time goes on.

Hell, if Mallory was a "manly man", she'd have insisted on the polycule being "the Ortbergs" instead of "the Laverys", and Bobby Joe would have her last name.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I am genuinely embarrassed, though you wont believe it, for everyone on this childrens site who thinks being here is a badass, revolutionary act. even the obviusly closeted but manly fag and that poor woman who thinks this is her tumblr

Considering how many users are not controled by their partner and their metamour, aren't being bullied by normal website's comment sections, and aren't on dangerous medications, I think us closet fags and tumblr users will be fine.

It genuinely is weird how they think we all think we're so bad to be posting here. It's a gossip forum, it's not actually that complicated, we're just hens clucking.

We have so many user halals and autistic slip ups that very few people are under the delusion that the farms is badass revolutionary in any way.