Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Gondolindrim]

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....Lol. As fucking if. These people couldn't even manage decent choreography for their mainline fucking movies--and everything from the Kenobi series to Ahsoka demonstrates that the TV shows produce worse lightsaber duels than the literal fanfilms littering YouTube.

Fuck, that Echo series on Marvel Spotlight had a higher budget than this upcoming Acolyte show, and THAT show's "kewl and epic" fight choreography was like watching two drunk monkeys fight under mood lighting.

Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, Fuck Darth Maul. I have never understood this obsession millennials have with him when there are much cooler characters from the prequels who actually have characterization. Filoni/Lucas bringing him back might have been one of the worst narrative decisions in fucking human history because they have allowed this character to stranglehold over Star Wars discourse for years. Even killing him off in Rebels hasn't ended it.

That's not even the best fight in the series, Luke vs Vader is (Anakin vs Obi-Wan is my personal favorite but being objective)

 

[Commander X]

Disney ‘Star Wars’ Box-Office Profits Fail To Cover Cost Of Buying Lucasfilm

Box office profits generated by Disney's Star Wars movies have fallen $2.8 billion short of covering the media giant's purchase of the sci-fi saga’s creator, Lucasfilm, according to analysis of recently-filed financial statements.
Disney bought Lucasfilm for $4 billion in 2012 and soon gave the green light to a new trilogy of Star Wars movies which teamed up rising stars Daisy Ridley and John Boyega with Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and the late Carrie Fisher who headlined the original movies more than 30 years earlier.

Looks like the money printing machine is broken.

The declining interest in Disney's initial trilogy of movies seems like a distant memory and the Mouse has made the most of it. Last month, Disney released a 67-page presentation singing the praises of its chief executive Bob Iger in a bid to convince stockholders to side with him in a battle with activist investors.

One of its key boasts was about the supposedly spellbinding return on investment generated by the franchises that Disney acquired under Iger....

The presentation gives the impression that Disney's Star Wars trilogy generated a 2.9 times return on the purchase of Lucasfilm as that figure is presented next to a timeline of key events in the production company's history. They include the release of the Disney movies and its acquisition of Lucasfilm which is the only milestone marked with a star. Adding to this impression is the fact that at the other end of the timeline is the Star Wars logo and a photo of the Mandalorian with his little green friend.

However, buried in the fine print is the revelation that the purchase price of Lucasfilm isn't even included in the ROI calculation. Instead, it is purely based on the box office performance of Disney's Star Wars trilogy, its two spinoff movies, merchandise, DVD and Blu Ray sales.

Disney desperately trying to prove that they didn't send 4 billion dollars directly into a giant shredder.

Even this wasn't enough for the media giant so it also forecast the revenue that it expected the Star Wars movies, merchandise, DVDs and Blu Rays to generate over a ten-year period and based the calculation on that too. In other words, Disney hasn't actually received the revenue that it used to calculate the return on its investment.

This is E-mail scammer levels of reasoning. "We spent four billion dollars but we'll be earning over a trillion sometime soon!"

In summary, despite seeming to do so, Disney's presentation doesn't actually reveal whether its Star Wars movies have covered the cost of its purchase of Lucasfilm. There may be good reason for this.

Analysis of more than 800 pages of company filings has revealed that the cost of making Disney's five Star Wars movies hit a total of $2.1 billion, peaking at $567.3 million (£449.1 million) on The Force Awakens. However, that's just the start.

Mindful of this blockbuster budget, Disney devised an ingenious way to make money back on the movie. Instead of shooting it in the United States, it chose Pinewood Studios in the United Kingdom, where the original trilogy of films was made. This enabled it to benefit from the UK government's Audio-Visual Expenditure Credit which gives studios a cash reimbursement of up to 25.5% of the money they spend in the UK provided that it represents at least 10% of the film's total costs.

What follows next sound like one giant money laundering scheme.

With so much at stake Disney didn't take any chances and got endorsement from the UK government right from the start. In 2014 Treasury Secretary George Osborne proudly announced that Pinewood would not just be home to The Force Awakens but also its two sequels. "This will mean more jobs and more investment," he said. "It is great news for people working at Pinewood Studios, from the set designers to the carpenters."

The production also had an impact farther afield. Sets featuring the iconic Millennium Falcon and X-Wing space ships were built at a Royal Air Force base about 55 miles west of London whilst the mountainous Lake District region in the north of England was the setting for the planet Takodana, hiding place of the sword-like Lightsaber weapon belonging to Hamill's Luke Skywalker character.

Using local staff wasn't the only catch that came with the generous fiscal incentives. Movie budgets are usually a closely-guarded secret as studios tend to absorb the cost of individual pictures in their overall expenses and don't itemize how much they spent on each one. However, the costs of movies made in the UK are consolidated in single companies which file annual financial statements showing the cash reimbursement, headcount, salaries, total expenses and more.

The production companies usually have code names so that they don’t raise attention when filing for permits to shoot off-site. The Disney subsidiary behind The Force Awakens is named Foodles Production after the cafe next to the San Rafael California headquarters of Kerner Optical, the original practical effects division of Lucasfilm's Industrial Light & Magic VFX firm.

A condition of receiving the cash reimbursement is that the companies must be responsible for everything from pre-production to delivery of the movie and paying for services relating to the finished film. It is one of the reasons why Foodles is still booking costs on its financial statements more than eight years after The Force Awakens was released.

Another reason is that the companies often file the financial statements around a year after the period they cover. This is why the latest results for Foodles were filed in December 2023 and are for the year-ending December 31, 2022. During that period the company spent $3.5 million (£2.8 million) bringing the total budget for The Force Awakens to a massive $567.3 million (£449.1 million).

Surprisingly, this isn't more than Disney expected as the financial statements noted that "at the year end the estimated total cost was within budget." Salaries alone came to a total of $22.7 million (£18 million) with staff numbers peaking at 258 without even including freelancers and self-employed workers who make up the majority of the crew.

Then comes the cash reimbursement which was a whopping $92.2 million (£73 million) bringing the movie's net costs down to $475.1 million. As we revealed in Britain's Sunday Times newspaper last year, including the streaming shows, Disney has received more than $410 million (£325 million) in reimbursements from the UK government. No wonder Disney thanked Osborne in the credits of The Force Awakens and *gave him several replica Lightsabers.

Then the article gets down to the numbers.

The second-biggest budget was for 2019's The Rise of Skywalker which cost $542.4 million (£429.4 million) to make. At the other end of the spectrum are the two Star Wars spin-offs which were also made in the UK. Rogue One is a prequel to the first Star Wars film whilst Solo tells the origin story of Ford's Han Solo character.

Several of the Star Wars Disney+ streaming series were also made in the UK so their costs are known but, unlike the movies, their profit cannot be calculated. This is because Disney+ subscribers pay a single fee which grants them access to all of its content making it impossible to determine how much subscription revenue is generated specific shows. In contrast, if they had been screened at the theater, viewers would have had to pay separately to watch them all.

Theater chains typically get around half of the takings with the remainder going to the studios. Deducting the $475.1 million net cost of The Force Awakens from Disney's share of the box office leaves a blockbuster profit of $559.6 million. This is 1.2 times its net costs giving Disney a 1.2 times return on its investment.

Its 2017 sequel The Last Jedi had a multiple of 1.1 times, as did the 2016 spin-off movie Rogue One. However, as the graph below shows, its net profit in Dollar terms was half as much as the amount made by The Force Awakens.

Disney spent a total of $298.7 million (£236.5 million) making Rogue One which was a tremendous gamble as it largely featured little-known actors. Although it paid off with a healthy profit it could have made even more as the filings for the movie state that "the final cost was higher than the agreed budget."

At the other end of the spectrum is Solo: A Star Wars Story which is Disney's only loss-making Star Wars movie. During production of the 2018 Han Solo origin picture, directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller were replaced with Oscar-winner Ron Howard who reportedly carried out extensive reshoots causing costs to skyrocket.

The impact of this is revealed in the financial statements for the production company behind Solo which say that "the final cost was higher than the agreed budget." A total of $350.4 million (£277.4 million) was spent on making the movie which also got $63.2 million (£50 million) of its costs reimbursed bringing its net spending to $287.2 million. However the movie bombed at the box office as the takings came to just $392.9 million leaving Disney with an estimated loss of $90.7 million.

The Reader's Digest Condensed Books version is that Disney's Star Wars films just barely made them any money and Solo alone might have wiped out most of that Plus there's how Disney managed to turn all of the other Lucasfilm franchises into money-incinerators instead of money-printing machines.

Bearing this in mind it's little surprise that Disney's presentation didn't work out the return on its acquisition of Lucasfilm by using the profits of the movies as it has still got a long way to go just to break even.

Of course, the calculation above doesn't include the huge profits Disney makes on the Star Wars merchandise, DVDs and Blu Rays. However, it also doesn't include the massive marketing costs of the movies as well as the costs of the Star Wars streaming shows and theme park attractions which also don't have revenue streams directly connected to them as visitors get access to all of the rides for the price of a single ticket.

Likewise, the calculation doesn't include the results of the other Lucasfilm franchises. As we recently revealed, Disney lost $134.2 million at the box office on its latest Indiana Jones movie and Lucasfilm's streaming series based on 1988 fantasy film Willow was canceled despite the Mouse pouring more than $100 million into it. Lucasfilm also owns the Industrial Light & Magic visual effects division though that is far smaller than its flagship franchises.

Iger maintaining absolute control in the recent vote was seemingly a win, but I think it will end up mostly being a win for people who hate Disney, because it leaves Iger & Co. to continue twisting in the wind as Disney and its subsidiaries produce more disasters, including lame streaming shows that eat up budgets, and the merch for Disney Wars era films and shows continues selling in terrible numbers, there not being enough living soyjacks out there buying Rose Tico action figures and so on.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

What's this? You're telling me Iger and Disney didn't account for their mountainous losses like their shithouse Galaxy Cruiser hotel or their outright removal of Willow when attempting to lie to shareholders about the profit they've made through the Lucasfilm acquisition?

Say it ain't so. Bob Iger would never lie, would he? He was supposed to be an improvement over that other Bob!

I give TV shows a pretty wide latitude on their fight sequences.

You wouldn't if you saw the eye-watering budget these Disney Plus shows receive on average compared to other shows on streaming. A show like Willow--which, frankly, looked like concentrated visual ass--cost $100 million to produce. A prestige miniseries like Rome or Thornbirds would've killed for that budget back in the day.

Fuck, the first two seasons of Daredevil had a shrimp budget compared to what ripe turds like Secret Invasion or Willow receive, and each episode of that show looked like a premiere miniseries on HBO--or even a film, in the case of some of the rooftop scenes for Season 2 And of course, I'd be remiss not to mention the kind of things Asian shows do with a shoestring budget. Fuck, at this point, I've seen more competent choreography in tokusatsu shows than I have in your average Star Wars show.

And those shows are made on the budgetary equivalent of pocket lint.

 

[Imperial Citizen]

The Reader's Digest Condensed Books version is that Disney's Star Wars films just barely made them any money and Solo alone might have wiped out most of that Plus there's how Disney managed to turn all of the other Lucasfilm franchises into money-incinerators instead of money-printing machines.

This makes me so happy. Fuck you, Disney! You didn’t make a profit off of destroying the series I love.

 

[Ghostse]

Disney ‘Star Wars’ Box-Office Profits Fail To Cover Cost Of Buying Lucasfilm

Now that's what I call podracing consooming.

Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, Fuck Darth Maul. I have never understood this obsession millennials have with him when there are much cooler characters from the prequels who actually have characterization. Filoni/Lucas bringing him back might have been one of the worst narrative decisions in fucking human history because they have allowed this character to stranglehold over Star Wars discourse for years. Even killing him off in Rebels hasn't ended it.

That's not even the best fight in the series, Luke vs Vader is (Anakin vs Obi-Wan is my personal favorite but being objective)

Darth Maul is that thing I talked about before where he's cool but the fucking fanboys holy shit.

And agree that bringing him back was some really dumb shit. Except for that one comic where he comes back as a cyborg to try to kill baby luke and kenobi takes him down without luke being any the wise. That shit was pretty kino ngl.

Fuck, the first two seasons of Daredevil had a shrimp budget compared to what ripe turds like Secret Invasion or Willow receive, and each episode of that show looked like a premiere miniseries on HBO--or even a film, in the case of some of the rooftop scenes for Season 2 And of course, I'd be remiss not to mention the kind of things Asian shows do with a shoestring budget. Fuck, at this point, I've seen more competent choreography in tokusatsu shows than I have in your average Star Wars show.

And those shows are made on the budgetary equivalent of pocket lint.

Excuse me those shows featured white men. Check your privilege bigot.

I meant more in general. I haven't wasted any time on these nostalgia rape shows so I'll take your word, not that it'd take me a lot to believe that Disney is fucking up it up and grifting. Again, I've seen what they put out in a multi-hundred million dollar film, their TV series must be even worse.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

https://theplaylist.net/tony-gilroy-andor-season-2-star-wars-20240415/

 

[Michael Wade]

https://theplaylist.net/tony-gilroy-andor-season-2-star-wars-20240415/

I mean... It's the only good thing to come out besides Mando season 1-2. And solo. They'll probably fuck it up, but here's hoping they keep making something that feels like it actually could be in the old EU.

Also lol at the bad earnings. Im pretty sure a poster on here already established how they've been at a loss sense rise but it's good to see it confirmed.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

I mean... It's the only good thing to come out besides Mando season 1-2. And solo. They'll probably fuck it up, but here's hoping they keep making something that feels like it actually could be in the old EU.

Also lol at the bad earnings. Im pretty sure a poster on here already established how they've been at a loss sense rise but it's good to see it confirmed.

I always saw Andor as overrated.

 

[M3xus]

I was worried that Disney had made enough that they could make it look like they earned a profit. Good to see that wasn't the case. What a shitshow.

 

[God of Nothing]

I always saw Andor as overrated.

It's okay at worst and good at best, which is more than anyone can say of almost every other piece of Disney Wars media.
Otherwise, it's just an average show. That's still not saying much in this day and age where everything is shit or barely passable. What a sad time we live in.

 

[Ghostse]

I always saw Andor as overrated.

Its dry, slow story telling attempts to expland a Canon Disney has already balled in the trash and repeatedly said they will invalidate if it gets int he way of nigger/fag/tranny feelings.

Its loved consoomers trying to look 'smart' as they gargle Mickey's balls.

 

[Screamer_2]

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....Lol. As fucking if. These people couldn't even manage decent choreography for their mainline fucking movies--and everything from the Kenobi series to Ahsoka demonstrates that the TV shows produce worse lightsaber duels than the literal fanfilms littering YouTube.

But what does it matter? Light sabres aren't deadly weapons anymore.

 

[Ghostse]

But what does it matter? Light sabres aren't deadly weapons anymore.

Oh please, They only non-lethal when the strike is center mass.

 

[Gondolindrim]

But what does it matter? Light sabres aren't deadly weapons anymore.

For the last, like, 2 years I've been trying to invent an OC that could reasonably survive a lightsaber strike. I've thought about really durable skin, an inability to be hit, cybernetics, even a healing factor. But now I realize all my character building is in vain because lightsabers don't fucking kill people anymore!

 

[Male Idiot]

I wouldn't go that far.

A lightsaber stab strike you can take as a sword strike from a story perspective.

You can say it hit no vital organ, but it should be still an absolute mess to heal from.

If there are medics nearby, you can say your Donut Steel survives.

That's the problem with all of Disney's wounds.
-Reeva should have died because she was left to die.
-Sabine should have died or spent weeks being put together.
-Maul should have turbo died. He was torn in half, and got a fatal fall afterwards. Are you saying he levitated down after being cut in half?
-Quigon is actually the guy who had the best shot at not dying, still died. Propably would need a wheelchair or cyborg spine. Not Disney wound, just thrown in for comparison.
-Kylo's issue is Rey suddenly learned the lost ancient arts of Force Heal... out of nowhere. A Mary Sue special skill, learn something you can't when needed by plot. His would could have been survivable if he got medics I think.

The problem is, that a lightsaber cuts very sharply. So there is little reason to pull your blade back when you can just slash sideways to get it out.
Obiwan had no trouble hewing Maul into two half mauls. Unless your character has a lightsaber resistant chestplate, there is nothing stopping the enemy to just sweep the blade out messily. Maul I cam forgive, he needed to move fast as Obiwan was angry and in striking range.

But blondie hoholina whose name I forgot or Vader had zero pressing isshes not to make a mess of Reeva and Sabine.

A cyborg could relatively take a stab wound, like Vader or Malgus. But even than he would need serious medical attention.

Durge, a Space Marine or Wolverine could take a wound like that, but only one of them is a Starwars matter.

 

[God of Nothing]

a saber ignited in direct contact with your center chest would burn through your heart, potentially the sides of your lungs, and especially your spine
your stomach is more survivable because muh space age tech, but that's just death

You can say it hit no vital organ, but it should be still an absolute mess to heal from.

that's just impossible
something going through your torso and not hitting anything would either have to be a graze or so small it would pass through the miniscule gaps in your organs
lightsaber is an arm-sized pole several inches thick

 

[Male Idiot]

If we go by plasma physics yes, but than even taking an arm wound would be fatal. Anakin would be dead a lot of times over. However movies and stuff show us it is not. So a chest poke wouldn't cook your entire chest. This is a choice for the sake of cinematic storytelling over pyrotechnics.

Apparently torso wounds like this are crippling but not at all instantly fatal, that is just hollywood. Like how in real life, getting shot doesn't throw you back a car's length.

If the person gets surgery fast, they are survivable. If an artery is nicked or the heart gets hit you are dead.

Otherwise you bleed out in a few hours. Gut wounds are bad because you'll get super sepsis and die in a day or two in agony.

This is why you would need a medical droid asap. And be floating in the medical gel of your era of choice for days, possibly weeks.

So Reeva should have been in septic shock and died there, with Sabine being a long drawn out operation, than her wheezing with a badly damaged lung like Vader unless she gets cloned one or a transplant.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

Oh please, They're only non-lethal when they strike a woman.

FTFY

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

For the last, like, 2 years I've been trying to invent an OC that could reasonably survive a lightsaber strike. I've thought about really durable skin, an inability to be hit, cybernetics, even a healing factor. But now I realize all my character building is in vain because lightsabers don't fucking kill people anymore!

A creature with the body configuration of a Vorcha could survive a lightsaber strike. It would suck and there would be a recovery period, but the high level of redundancy in their biology would allow them to walk away.

A lightsaber stab strike you can take as a sword strike from a story perspective.

You can say it hit no vital organ, but it should be still an absolute mess to heal from.

If there are medics nearby, you can say your Donut Steel survives.

That's the problem with all of Disney's wounds.

Exception: Finn. He's slashed across the back and drops like a ton of bricks, presumably from shock, spine damage, or both, and wakes up in a bacta tank presumably days later. So Disney doesn't misunderstand how lightsabers work, they just don't care.

E: shit, I just remembered that Han died via lightsaber to the gut.

 

[Male Idiot]

Yeah, if your spine gets slashed, you drop like a ton of bricks. Or fold like Quigon. You won't be standing up and chasing a kid Luke for sure.