Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[crying and shidding]

All questions about Cobra can be answered with one of three statements:

1. Yes, Because Josh is retarded.

2. No, Because Josh is retarded.

3. He ride bike, weather permit.

For those just joining us, weather has not been permitting.

Spoiler

His bike tire tube is flat, and he refuses to fix it

 

[Sog Dog]

For those just joining us, weather has not been permitting.

Spoiler

His bike tire tube is flat, and he refuses to fix it

View attachment 5931650

Is the perspective on this just weird, or does he actually have that level of corgi legs?

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

Is the perspective on this just weird, or does he actually have that level of corgi legs?

I'm pretty sure Cobra is shorter than he looks. Clint might have muscles, but he's no giant.

 

[The Judean People's Front]

Here's some of the hits. Note: there are most certainly better quality versions out there; these are from his website and they're either low-res, or have an annoying title banner across the bottom, but you'll get the gist.

Spoiler: Clint's art

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These are so good. And by that I mean so mediocre and so. . . On the nose? Like, he has zero ability to show rather than tell. I want to do a piece about mid-life crises, what should I use to represent a mid-life crisis? I know! The words: "mid-life crisis" should give a subtle hint towards that!

Autists aren't good at subtlety, are they?

His art actually really reminds me of a personal lolcow's - unsubtle self-insert fantasy photoshops - and she is a middle-aged BPD Deviantartist with creepy paraphilias. These would do GREAT on Deviantart, actually, now that I think about it.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I'm pretty sure Cobra is shorter than he looks. Clint might have muscles, but he's no giant.

He's actually not. Since the sub is gone I can't easily go find these photos but he's like 5'10"-5'11" taller then Clint.

 

[Bogliacci]

For those just joining us, weather has not been permitting.

Spoiler

His bike tire tube is flat, and he refuses to fix it

View attachment 5931650

I've just started to ride bike again for the season and I can't help but think of this picture when I'm on the road. One of the goat candid cobra pics.

I know beach cruisers have you sitting up, but just look how terrible his saddle position is, I'm amazed he never got testicular torsion when he used to ride, and it's a single speed to boot. With the saddle position and being a single speed, his legs have to be on fire from doing all the work while his glutes do nothing.

The boy might have given up riding, using the need to fix the bike as an excuse, simply because it became way too noticeably uncomfortable and he's been getting very out of shape.

 

[whogoesthere]

One of my memories from the subreddit was when some random hornyman posted "I want Stephanie to crush my head between her thighs like a watermelon in the jaws of a hippo."

A few people have messaged me for her tit pic. I wasnt even saying they were nice tits (they are not), I was remarking that the toilet looks fucking wrecked in the picture. Some people are thirsty as fuck, even for odd looking beasts like Stephanie.

 

[Molly Millions]

For those just joining us, weather has not been permitting.

Spoiler

His bike tire tube is flat, and he refuses to fix it

View attachment 5931650

He does seem to have short legs and a really long trunk. The photo where he's wearing the skeleton guitar shirt with his punishment haircut really shows it off.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

He does seem to have short legs and a really long trunk. The photo where he's wearing the skeleton guitar shirt with his punishment haircut really shows it off.

 

[bonified retard]

He does seem to have short legs and a really long trunk. The photo where he's wearing the skeleton guitar shirt with his punishment haircut really shows it off.

Excuse me?

 

[fake farts]

Here's some of the hits. Note: there are most certainly better quality versions out there; these are from his website and they're either low-res, or have an annoying title banner across the bottom, but you'll get the gist.

Spoiler: Clint's art

View attachment 5931117View attachment 5931122

People give Josh's biological mom hell for everything about his looks, and it's obvious he got his fishy lips from her, but theres a lot of Clint in him too. Look at the size of that Megamind dome in profile combined with that little piggy nose. Pure Josh. He was just doomed to not come from good looking people.

I kind of like that second pic, even if it does look like something you'd see in some artfag editorial. Clint's biggest problem, like other have said, is his need to self-insert into his art. Another Josh-like quality, pure unwarranted ego.

 

[Incel Death Note]

Excuse me?
View attachment 5931817

Your grippy sock goth gf they/them, sir.

 

[Lolcow Rodeo Clown]

I 100% expect Cobra to be feeling the squeeze. Cigarettes and booze ain't cheap.

This takes me back to the brief period when he was "rolling his own" cigarettes to save money. He just got a bag of tobacco and a box of filter tubes and was trying to sprinkle the tobacco into the tubes with his fingers. Anyone who's tried this knows it doesn't work. You need a rolling machine.

Not power-leveling, but I used to smoke and rolled my own and it is cheaper, but it does take a fair amount of time, effort, and practice to get right using a rolling machine. Those are things we know Cobes will simply not suffer doing for any reason. Seeing him try to place individual strands of tobacco in the tube and having them go everywhere but the tube made me laugh harder than it should've.

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

He's actually not. Since the sub is gone I can't easily go find these photos but he's like 5'10"-5'11" taller then Clint.

Oh well, fuck me then. This is what happens when we've made reddit the universal repository of all human knowledge.

Those are things we know Cobes will simply not suffer doing for any reason. Seeing him try to place individual strands of tobacco in the tube and having them go everywhere but the tube made me laugh harder than it should've.

Ah yes, Cobra choosing the smoking methods that require the greatest amount of fine motor dexterity. None of the Greek tragedies could possibly match this.

 

[whogoesthere]

This takes me back to the brief period when he was "rolling his own" cigarettes to save money. He just got a bag of tobacco and a box of filter tubes and was trying to sprinkle the tobacco into the tubes with his fingers. Anyone who's tried this knows it doesn't work. You need a rolling machine.

Not power-leveling, but I used to smoke and rolled my own and it is cheaper, but it does take a fair amount of time, effort, and practice to get right using a rolling machine. Those are things we know Cobes will simply not suffer doing for any reason. Seeing him try to place individual strands of tobacco in the tube and having them go everywhere but the tube made me laugh harder than it should've.

Not to mention, you need to actually care for the things or else it doesn't work. I bet he never sealed his baccy, so it was as dry as a mummies cock. Likely smoked as nice as one as well.

Gotta love the sped.

 

[bonified retard]

This takes me back to the brief period when he was "rolling his own" cigarettes to save money.

The cig roller meltdown is one of my all time favorites. He probably took more years off of his life via self induced stress from trying to operate that thing, than smoking the actual cigs themselves.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Seeing young Cobes is so weird. He almost looks normal, it's uncanny. It's like you're looking at a typical person but your eyes don't adjust all the way. You could see his face in a crowd and think nothing of it. But the more you look at his face, the more confused you get. Now, although he looks much weirder, your brain instantly writes him off as some aberrant descendant of Man.

 

[ibeatmywife]

Seeing young Cobes is so weird. He almost looks normal, it's uncanny. It's like you're looking at a typical person but your eyes don't adjust all the way. You could see his face in a crowd and think nothing of it. But the more you look at his face, the more confused you get. Now, although he looks much weirder, your brain instantly writes him off as some aberrant descendant of Man.

That's because he was almost normal just retarded then he started drinking heavily and doing duster and now is a rambling boglim

 

[TMDWTFIU]

He's actually not. Since the sub is gone I can't easily go find these photos but he's like 5'10"-5'11" taller then Clint.

Josh consistently labels himself as "five-foot nine, six feet". Assuming he lies about his height like most men under six feet he's gotta be no more than 5'9.

 

[AnOminous]

The cig roller meltdown is one of my all time favorites. He probably took more years off of his life via self induced stress from trying to operate that thing, than smoking the actual cigs themselves.

Those things are easy to use, even the goofy ones you get free with a pack of cheap tobacco, like Bugler. Yet people think this retard could hold down even a simple job.