Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[lebean]

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190 proof everclear from the bottom shelf out of a plastic bottle, TWU

Perfect screen grab to match your pfp doodt. @kc01

Since Door Dash requires ID verification to receive alcohol. . . this explains why he mentions he talked to the of-age, alive, cis-gendered, female deliverer. As someone said earlier, he must be well known amongst the Door Dash Delivery Lodge of Casper, WY.

I can only imagine what the sight of a bloated Cobra slowly opening his door would be like.

In addition, as these orders are happening more frequently, it will be only a short while til' he tapes a new, poorly written, and illegible, note outside his clocktrailer:


Looking forward to the new, "Danger! Beware of Goth!" sign, accompanied by some info, statements on sexual orientation, random nonsense, and instructions.

 

[Candover]

This, so much. If Clint had insisted on getting Cobes a new phone number every time he's somehow accidentally revealed that kind of information, the boy would be in a much more stable place than where he is now. But that would be letting the trolls win and we can't have that.
I'm not gonna start a new "Groupdad bad Clinthome good" loop buuuuuuuuut there's so many obvious steps he could have taken to help protect Cobes, the obvious ones are unplugging the bog from the places the trolls troll him through.

A real simple thing Clint could do, since I’m sure Josh is on his phone plan, is just change his number. It’s inexpensive to do, and would end the constant texts he spends hours responding to daily. That is the most basic way to improve Josh’s mental state.

I’m completely baffled why Clunt hasn’t done this yet, because he sees just how frustrated and stressed it makes Josh to get all these harassing text messages constantly every day. He spends hours every day just doing voice to text paragraphs of responces to the most basic of insults.

Out of everything Clint could do to help the boy, this is both the easiest and most effective thing.

 

[Dude Snakes]

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190 proof everclear from the bottom shelf out of a plastic bottle, TWU

It’s 92.4% alcohol yeah whoever sent this wants Josh to drink himself to death.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

That one snaggletooth just hanging on for dear life.

Heart of the Matter time: Will Josh be able to outlive Dani Filth, his true idol?
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Dani will 100% outlive Cobes.

 

[Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6]

It’s 92.4% alcohol yeah whoever sent this wants Josh to drink himself to death.

The shit has warning labels saying only to use in mixed drinks. A shot straight can give you chemical burns.

 

[No-Eyed Square Guy]

Also ignores the fact that he is a Church of England member, and his father made crosses to protect the band from satanists and witches.

Understanding that Sabbath was a Christian band is what separates us from the boglims.

 

[Candover]

The shit has warning labels saying only to use in mixed drinks. A shot straight can give you chemical burns.

It’s sold as an “unfinished drink” that’s meant to be diluted. Be thankful someone didn’t buy him a case of grain alcohol. If he was desperate enough, he would drink 99% propanol too.

 

[ㅤㅤㅤ]

A real simple thing Clint could do, since I’m sure Josh is on his phone plan, is just change his number. It’s inexpensive to do, and would end the constant texts he spends hours responding to daily. That is the most basic way to improve Josh’s mental state.

I’m completely baffled why Clunt hasn’t done this yet, because he sees just how frustrated and stressed it makes Josh to get all these harassing text messages constantly every day. He spends hours every day just doing voice to text paragraphs of responces to the most basic of insults.

Out of everything Clint could do to help the boy, this is both the simplest and most effective thing.

Sorry bud, too busy planning out my Irish retirement, TMDWU

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Understanding that Sabbath was a Christian band is what separates us from the boglims.

The fact that an artist can have a life that's not their on-stage persona is foreign to the boglim mind.

 

[Candover]

Sorry bud, too busy planning out my Irish retirement, TMDWU

Faith and begorrah, Clunt.

 

[Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6]

The fact that an artist can have a life that's not their on-stage persona is foreign to the boglim mind.

Not to derail but thanks for being who you/doing what you do.
ETA: I’m retarded

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Not to derail but thanks for being who you/doing what you do.

I may not be who you think I am, but regardless, just know that He is watching through his many ravens.

It’s a damn shame BG2 got cancelled. There would have been so much potential for Cobra references.

 

[Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6]

I may not be who you think I am.

I was wondering where the little “verified” thingy was. My bad.

 

[cobra fucker]

When I was 12, my dad picked me up from school early to get chicken burgers and broke the news that our dog died. I couldn't imagine a better way for Cobes to get the news. He seems to be taking it as well as he possibly could. Good work, Clint.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

I was wondering where the little “verified” thingy was. My bad.

He has shadow clones too, and released them into the world like a deadbeat dad. Several of them have settle on the Farms.

Cobra's magic is novice compared to Xavier's but I must admit, his ability to conjure thunderstorms, cast that circle of protection buff and change the color of traffic lights to suit his whimsy is far more impressive than the "abilities" of that hedge wizard Peter Magic who appeared on Season 4. And to say nothing of the level of craftsmanship of the BOY's wands. While crude, he has managed to mass produce such powerful instruments of magic!

 

[Aborted Drink Combo]

In addition, as these orders are happening more frequently, it will be only a short while til' he tapes a new, poorly written, and illegible, note outside his clocktrailer:

I looked at his place on google maps and his door 100% already has that blue tape on it from taping up a sign.

 

[Candover]

I was wondering where the little “verified” thingy was. My bad.

Have a Deagle Nation patch for your unwavering faith

 

[Random Internet Person]

Why are all of you fuckers shitting on this?

Cobes has very little, and his love for Ozzy has carried him over pits of despair that would break a saint.

Let cobes grieve. Ozzy meant a lot to him. Even if you think he's a poser.

Hell even if he only ever listened to Ozzy on a shithouse bar jukebox... Eh I'm fucked up right now I lost my train of thought.

I know some cringe at those mourning the deaths of celebrities or pets, But at a certain level, I get it. And I can understand how it can hit somebody pretty hard. Rest easy, Prince of Darkness.

 

[Nigger Cattle]

I can only imagine what the sight of a bloated Cobra slowly opening his door would be like.

I've always wondered how Cobra managed to stay slim despite being an alcoholic boglim who eats only fast food. Now that he's getting puffy and his old t-shirts are starting to get tight, i think his metabolism is slowing down and he's FUCKED.
He has no self-discipline and he will never lose the weight, lmao.

 

[Dill]