Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[Dr. Butt]

Is he wielding that weasel as a WEAPON? Poor weasel. They only kill and eat a few hundred children a year. Dude should have let them hollow him out and nest inside his body if he loved nature.

Someone's forgotten the lessons we learned from Web 2.0, namely, how to know when it's time to beat them with their own kind.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Ellen seems like a histrionic nightmare who probably milks every illness like she’s a Victorian waif on the verge of a tuberculosis relapse or some shit.

I can foresee a lucrative market in reproduction Fainting Couches.

 

[LGHDR+]

I can foresee a lucrative market in reproduction Fainting Couches.

The tricky part is going to be finding one of those dollhouse guys to make it small enough

 

[Iron Jaguar]

The tricky part is going to be finding one of those dollhouse guys to make it small enough

Au contraire, my nigger: I will have Pooners make them.

 

[LGHDR+]

Au contraire, my nigger: I will have Pooners make them.

 

[AssignedEva]

Looked it up, the Eurasian beaver is larger than it’s American counterpart, wouldn’t be surprise if the temperament was different as well.

I kind of assumed beavers were a bit like badgers.

This fuzzy fellow looks like he's going to invite you to tea with Toad of Toad Hall, and will mostly ignore/avoid you. But if you corner one or it thinks you're threatening its young, it will get vicious and can do a fair bit of damage because it is essentially a giant weasel. I can imagine going swimming around beavers would be a bit of a bad idea if the beavers thought you might be trying to catch them or their kits, because they're essentially giant rats with massive sharp teeth.
That said Ellen's narrative here appears to be "I often went swimming in a river with beavers and then would get scared of the beavers" which raises the question of why she kept getting in that river in the first place if she felt uneasy around beavers.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

why she kept getting in that river in the first place if she felt uneasy around beavers.

Tee-hee

 

[Procrastinhater]

I kind of assumed beavers were a bit like badgers.
View attachment 5930743
This fuzzy fellow looks like he's going to invite you to tea with Toad of Toad Hall, and will mostly ignore/avoid you. But if you corner one or it thinks you're threatening its young, it will get vicious and can do a fair bit of damage because it is essentially a giant weasel. I can imagine going swimming around beavers would be a bit of a bad idea if the beavers thought you might be trying to catch them or their kits, because they're essentially giant rats with massive sharp teeth.
That said Ellen's narrative here appears to be "I often went swimming in a river with beavers and then would get scared of the beavers" which raises the question of why she kept getting in that river in the first place if she felt uneasy around beavers.

Badgers are just small black and white Wolverines. I wouldn't fuck with one.
Generally an animal, especially one a lot smaller than a person will try to retreat, its only if you're harassing it and it feels cornered it'll attack.
In water a human is no threat to a Beaver, and the Beaver knows it, they're fast swimmers and they can dive for over ten minutes at a time. As another poster mentioned, swimming in a pool Beavers have built isn't a good idea, its gonna be full of broken off, sharp branches and logs, and its likely to be full of nematodes and protozoans like Gardia from the Beavers living and shitting in and around it.
Then again Ellen doesn't strike me as someone whose mind operates the way a normal person does, so her motivation for repeatedly swimming upstream from the Beaver Dam when she's sketched out by the sight of Beavers is anyones guess.

She's the first lesbian I've heard of thats scared of Beavers too

 

[Narwhal]

If a beaver attacked Ellen it would deserve all the sticks in the world to build its precious dam. At least the beaver plays a vital role in the circle of life, Ellen's role is to piss me off and bore me to tears with her asinine autobiography.

 

[Three Gorillion Dollars]

There was this theory I remember seeing online a few years ago which made the argument that Ellen Page was the daughter of a well-known actress (the name escapes me, but the resemblance was uncanny) but she didn't want her daughter and arranged a secret adoption with Ellen's current parents. I haven't been able to find it to go over it again, but I think about it when it comes to Ellen's whole turn into Elliot.

 

[fish fillet]

There was this theory I remember seeing online a few years ago which made the argument that Ellen Page was the daughter of a well-known actress (the name escapes me, but the resemblance was uncanny) but she didn't want her daughter and arranged a secret adoption with Ellen's current parents. I haven't been able to find it to go over it again, but I think about it when it comes to Ellen's whole turn into Elliot.

Was it this woman? I can't remember her name but the resemblance is amazing.

 

[Sir Chubbis the Turd]

Ellen is gonna make a depressing gay outer space movie.

Spoiler: Article Text

Elliot Page is planning to adapt acclaimed LGBTQ+ young adult sci-fi novel The Darkness Outside Us into a movie, after acquiring the rights to the 2021 book.

The Hollywood Reporter broke the news that Pageboy Productions, Elliot Page’s production company, had optioned Eliot Schrefer’s love story, which is about two boys who are sent on a space mission together.
The young men are from enemy countries, but have to figure out how to work together after they’re sent on a rescue mission. It’s a traditional enemies-to-lovers romance in many ways, but with mystery elements too.

Matt Jordan Smith and Tuck Dowrey are also working with Pageboy Productions to bring the book to life. One review describes it as “heart-wrenching, yet hopeful. Dark, but not entirely without light. Thought-provoking in ways that will probably give you an existential crisis.”
“We are proud to stand behind Eliot’s remarkable work. The Darkness Outside Us is exactly the type of story we want to champion at PAGEBOY – it’s subversive and deeply human at its core,” said Page, Jordan Smith and Dowrey in a joint statement. “It’s a complex love story, inventive thriller, and a space epic with twists at every turn. We cannot wait to take the next steps towards getting it on the big screen.”

Author Eliot Schrefer also issued a statement about the partnership with Elliot Page, saying: “What would I hope for most for my novel? An agile, young, motivated production company that’s buzzy in Hollywood—and that’s just what I got with PAGEBOY Productions. I’m so excited by their vision for The Darkness Outside Us and honored to have the talents of Elliot and Matt and Tuck and the rest of the team devoted to it.”
In September 2023, Elliot Page returned to the big screen for the first time since 2017, starring in Close to You, also made by Pageboy Productions. In it, the actor plays trans man Sam, who visits his hometown for the first time since transitioning and is reunited with a childhood friend.

The Oscar-nominated actor previously took a step back from the cinematic limelight as he embarked on his gender transition journey, publicly coming out as a trans man in 2020.

Link

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Is she aware that Mass Effect exists already?

 

[Bluish Waif]

Ellen really needs a strong chemical peel with salicylic acid for the blackheads and glycolic for the wrinkles. She's losing collagen at a faster rate from the T it seems. She can afford all the most expensive lasers too, there's no reason her skin has to look so haggard.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Is she aware that Mass Effect exists already?

Hey Mass Effect 1+2 were good, Mass Effect 2's Suicide Mission is still one of my favorite moments in any game.

Spoiler: Mass Effect 3

Mass Effect 3 had Steve, who was annoying at first not because he was gay but because he was depressing as fuck if you don't take time out of saving the fucking galaxy to help him deal with his personal shit, but I actually grew to like Steve, some of the interactions immediately before missions and especially his commentary after every mission if you to talk to him in the hanger was great, I was genuinely pissed off when he got killed in a crash my first time playing it, so much so on my second playthrough I made a point of helping him deal with his shit about his dead husband, which is essential for some reason or he gets killed in the last mission.

Mass Effect Andromeda was fucking awful but still probably better than this fucking thing crazy Ellen is going to waste thousands of dollars of Blackrocks money on.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Author Eliot Schrefer

I'm guessing this is a Jewess Pooner.

 

[Trianon]

If a beaver attacked Ellen it would deserve all the sticks in the world to build its precious dam. At least the beaver plays a vital role in the circle of life, Ellen's role is to piss me off and bore me to tears with her asinine autobiography.

Bloodthirsty beavers building their dams out of brittle pooner bones, the next Gretchen Felker-Martin novel!

 

[TVB]

Ellen is gonna make a depressing gay outer space movie.

But there's already a gay sci-fi movie, and it had black people in it too

 

[batteredpancakes]

New pics!
First from the 2024 Time100 summit.

And a sighting

And some more official looking portrait pics for Time100

Time also posted the interview on Youtube

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

A Dyke Pooner afraid of Beaver the jokes write themselves.