AIBU about sex education

[Tablet County]

Tangential I know, but isn't AIBU Japanese for gay?

 

[Android raptor]

There's guys who still think women can hold periods in until they use the bathroom. It's really important to teach boys what periods are. The ignorance never seems to get better with age.

The porn part of this lession seems to go in the direction of grooming awareness, which is important. Kids need it reinforced that if some perv tries to show them porn they need to tell their parents right away.

Yeah it just seems like a basic, clinical definition and anti-abuse stuff, which is important especially since many kids sadly do get shown porn in elementary school.

 

[Itterasshai]

Depends on the country and the school, but judging from my experience and conversations, by the age of thirteen, the whole class already knows about sex, porn, masturbation, and contraception. However, for most teens, this ‘knowledge’ is inaccurate because it has been acquired through the game of telephone.

At that age, quite a few teens have begun puberty already, and those more interested in sexual topics have long ‘enlightened’ the less interested ones. Although late sex ed is better than no sex ed, thirteen thus is indeed much too late for it. Sex ed is more effective when it is pre-emptive, and since most kids or teens will never initiate such conversations with adults, especially their parents, it is pointless to wait until they broach the topic.

 

[Android raptor]

Depends on the country and the school, but judging from my experience and conversations, by the age of thirteen, the whole class already knows about sex, porn, masturbation, and contraception. However, for most teens, this ‘knowledge’ is inaccurate because it has been acquired through the game of telephone.

At that age, quite a few teens have begun puberty already, and those more interested in sexual topics have long ‘enlightened’ the less interested ones. Although late sex ed is better than no sex ed, thirteen thus is indeed much too late for it. Sex ed is more effective when it is pre-emptive, and since most kids or teens will never initiate such conversations with adults, especially their parents, it is pointless to wait until they broach the topic.

Plus some parents straight up refuse to teach their kids about those things.

 

[the rat]

Mid-late elementary school is when kids need to learn about both male and female puberty stuff, especially since many girls have already started puberty at that age. Ideally kids are taught that shit before it happens to them so they know what to do ahead of time and don't freak out, and learning about the opposite sex helps prevent them from being that grown-ass adult that doesn't know basic shit about how X reproductive system works (again, there are a saddening number of adult men especially that don't even know basic shit about the female reproductive system, including a disturbing amount of lawmakers).

I remember we had sex-ed around year 5-6 (age 9-11) and they split us on sex and didn't really inform us boys about female puberty though they were willing to discuss to the girls about male puberty. Never understood why.

Age 8-9 seems about right for this kind of thing, from the lesson plan it doesn't seem like they're going to go into too much detail regarding it other than telling kids that it's sex on image/film and that an adult showing you it isn't ok, that's solid advice and giving kids the ability to understand that porn isn't what sex is like and to recognise certain actions as bad and not be ashamed to tell a trusted adult is a good thing, no?

If you're more worried due to modern degeneracy being spread in schools by creeps then I'd just say see how it goes and if there's anything that steps over the boundaries of being acceptable (like discussing the different kinds of porn, how to masturbate and the like) then as @MsFrancisFoster said put your foot down immediately.

You should definitely talk with them however before and after the lessons to know what they're learning and to ensure that they learn the right things.

 

[Android raptor]

I remember we had sex-ed around year 5-6 (age 9-11) and they split us on sex and didn't really inform us boys about female puberty though they were willing to discuss to the girls about male puberty. Never understood why.

Misogyny and treating female bodily functions as somehow inappropriate or sexualized. Like what the state legislators of FL think for some reason.

 

[the rat]

Misogyny and treating female bodily functions as somehow inappropriate or sexualized. Like what the state legislators of FL think for some reason.

The thing is, I don't think it was that. I think my teachers were just retarded and didn't really give much effort towards the boys because let's spend our time with the girls because we're women while we have no male teacher in the school for the boys so oops get fucked.

 

[Chongqing]

I was offended by the right wing bit.

Glad to see you're focused on what's important.

Spoiler: ...

 

[Itterasshai]

Tangential I know, but isn't AIBU Japanese for gay?

The only modern Japanese word read as ‘aibu’ is 愛撫, meaning ‘caressing’ or ‘petting’, with the connotation being either non-sexual or sexual depending on the context.

Plus some parents straight up refuse to teach their kids about those things.

Indeed, it is common that kids or teens do not initiate such conversations with adults precisely because they have been embarrassed in the past for asking a question.

 

[Android raptor]

Indeed, it is common that kids or teens do not initiate such conversations with adults precisely because they have been embarrassed in the past for asking a question.

Embarrassed or yelled at.

 

[Grub]

I cannot reconcile myself to the idea that my child, who has never asked about this topic before and has never been given the idea that it wouldn't be okay to ask, is going to be taught about the clitoris and masturbation in school next to her wee pal who is about to have wet dreams and boners explained to him.

Do they not separate boys and girls for any of this? When we had sex ed in elementary school the boys and girls were separated and not in the same class for the duration of it.

 

[std::string]

If this was a lesson being delivered to 12 or 13 year olds, I would feel differently. They are eight and nine. Most of their little friends still have a significant level of belief in Santa. I just feel unhappy introducing masturbation and pornography at school at this age. This feels like something I want to cover with them myself, and also I honestly don't feel they are ready for those conversations.

I can guarantee you they know what porn is. Kids are also smart enough to not tell you about it and still keep acting like sex is gross and disgusting.

You can either talk to them or you can continue being a time-traveling housefrau from the 1950s and ignore them until you find a fursuit in one of their rooms.

 

[MsFrancisFoster]

Do they not separate boys and girls for any of this? When we had sex ed in elementary school the boys and girls were separated and not in the same class for the duration of it.

Depends on the school in my experience. I went to a fairly small public school when I was getting sex ed classes, so we all got put in the gym and made to watch both the male and female sex education tapes. I was roughly twelve-ish at the time. But I'm of the mind both boys and girls should learn about the opposite sex puberty because both suck in different ways. So I think it would foster some sympathy between the sexes if they knew what the other other went through. Though I may just be hopefully optimistic in that regards, but who knows.

But I'm not sure about modern era sex ed. I don't have kids. I'm an aunt but I've not heard my brother (who is very very old school in his views) complain about any woke shit in my niece's schools yet but I live in a fairly purple area. So I've got no clue. Could depend entirely on location. I'd be wary of it now anyway with all the perverts and creeps in the education system now. My trust with the public education system could not be any lower at this point. So best to keep eyes and ears open in this regards.

 

[Grub]

Depends on the school in my experience. I went to a fairly small public school when I was getting sex ed classes, so we all got put in the gym and made to watch both the male and female sex education tapes

Yeah that makes sense. In OP's case it sounds a little more involved than that. When we had it in school it was for a few hours in a class but boys were in their own class with a male teacher and girls were in another class with a female teacher. I'm pretty sure I was 12.

But I'm not sure about modern era sex ed. I don't have kids.

I don't know either but the stuff in the op seems beyond what I was taught. There was nothing about masturbation or porn but that was before the internet was widespread so maybe it is something that should be taught, I dunno.

I'd be wary of it now anyway with all the perverts and creeps in the education system now. My trust with the public education system could not be any lower at this point. So best to keep eyes and ears open in this regards.

Yeah that's the big thing. However mostly, seemingly mostly not degenerate I guess maybe the content in the op seems, who the fuck knows these days with teachers or the schools themselves hiding shit. Public schools seem fucking horrifying these days and it must be stressful as fuck having to worry about what kind of fucked up shit your kids are being taught and whether you can even trust what the school tells you.

 

[Android raptor]

Yeah that's the big thing. However mostly, seemingly mostly not degenerate I guess maybe the content in the op seems, who the fuck knows these days with teachers or the schools themselves hiding shit. Public schools seem fucking horrifying these days and it must be stressful as fuck having to worry about what kind of fucked up shit your kids are being taught and whether you can even trust what the school tells you.

First time?

Kids in the Bible belt have never been able to trust what school tell them, especially about sex. Kids get straight up lied to here, being told condoms offer no protection against HIV happened to me in 8th grade. We also got told women gave no sex drives of their own and other bullshit.

We weren't allowed to be told anything about contraception other than it fails so much its basically pointless. Not even the banana condom demonstration. We sure as fuck didn't get taught birth control has uses other than pregnancy prevention or about any female reproductive health conditions.

We did get shown photos of diseased genitals though.

 

[Grub]

First time?

Kids in the Bible belt have never been able to trust what school tell them, especially about sex. Kids get straight up lied to here, being told condoms offer no protection against HIV happened to me in 8th grade. We also got told women gave no sex drives of their own and other bullshit.

We weren't allowed to be told anything about contraception other than it fails so much its basically pointless. Not even the banana condom demonstration. We sure as fuck didn't get taught birth control has uses other than pregnancy prevention or about any female reproductive health conditions.

We did get shown photos of diseased genitals though.

That's also fucked up and shouldn't be the way of it either. I feel like there's probably a good middle ground between intense religious chastity mentality and degenerate pervy clownworld shit I dunno something like age appropriate education that teaches them the biology of things and helps prepare them for what they may encounter as they become teenagers and adults in a way that isn't overtly sexualized while also not extremely anti-sex.

 

[Lithuophile]

Sex ed is gay. Teach your kids not to touch other women's junk.

 

[David Brown]

I don't believe I could bring them to the attainment level I want them at homeschooling a whole nest of them in the kitchen.

You're overestimating the quality of schooling (and I mean schooling anywhere). Teach them letters and basic math up through algebra. Everything else is just window dressing and time wasting. There are no schools that "teach better" than any others. Student performance is a function of student quality, that's it.

Don't take this as me telling you how to raise your kids. I'm just dispelling the incorrect assumption that schools are effective at teaching anything beyond rote skills like writing and math, which are skills acquired by repetition, and schools teach it by just providing a time and place for strangers who couldn't hack it in any other industry to teach children rote skills.

If someone can read and write coherent full sentences and paragraphs, that person has just as good (and possibly better) capacity to teach than any school. And I mean ANY school.

 

[DumbDude43]

You're overestimating the quality of schooling (and I mean schooling anywhere). Teach them letters and basic math up through algebra. Everything else is just window dressing and time wasting. There are no schools that "teach better" than any others. Student performance is a function of student quality, that's it.

Don't take this as me telling you how to raise your kids. I'm just dispelling the incorrect assumption that schools are effective at teaching anything beyond rote skills like writing and math, which are skills acquired by repetition, and schools teach it by just providing a time and place for strangers who couldn't hack it in any other industry to teach children rote skills.

If someone can read and write coherent full sentences and paragraphs, that person has just as good (and possibly better) capacity to teach than any school. And I mean ANY school.

the big obstacle to homeschooling is that the teaching parent(s) needs to have a pretty good understanding of all the content that is to be taught.
sure, high school level anything isn't rocket science, but be honest: how many normal people still have a good understanding of high school math (exponentials and logarithms, derivatives, integrals, vectors) 20 years after they're out of school? how about chemistry (stoichiometry, orbitals) or physics (thermodynamics, classical mechanics)?
yes teaching your kids is easy, yes you can do it like 5 times faster and better at home than the teachers can at school, but it takes a lot of preparation, a lot of time and effort to get yourself to a level where you understand all of those topics well enough to teach them correctly.
being a homeschooling parent is a pretty comfy full time job, but it's still a full time job. if you're already working a job for money then you're most likely not going to be able to do it.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Is it worth speaking to the school/ teachers about it before making a decision? If you know *exactly* what they're going to be told it might put your mind at rest?